I was basically a normal twelve year old girl; I had friends, and a pretty good life. I had a family who loved me, and pretty much everything I asked for. I had always been a little self-conscious. I never thought of myself as extremely pretty, skinny, funny, talented, etc. I still don't. I mean sure, I got compliments all the time, and to this day, I still do. But, that doesn't mean I believe them now, or ever did. But, things were never this bad. I was never this bad. Sometimes, I fall in love, and I fall too fast to catch myself. That's what happened, that's what broke me. A growing love for others, ones who didn't care about me; and a lack of love for myself. By the time seventh grade was over, I had fallen in love with three different people. First was the boy with the hazel eyes. We became friends, but eventually that fell through. Second, was the boy with the blue eyes, who pushed me off the edge. And lastly, the one who loved me, and the one I regret most of all. But let me start from the beginning, the day I met the awkward, skinny, boy; with the hazel eyes, and smile that lights up my life, and crushes it into a million pieces at the same time. It was fifth grade, I was ten years old, and we were on a bus. We were on our way to a gifted class, and everyone in the class knew each other. So when everyone got on that day, to our surprise, there he sat. Glasses, and a shy face, too scared to talk to anyone. I whispered to the girl beside me, "Who's the new kid?" with an eager curiosity. "I don't know." She said, "He isn't from my elementary school." I was unsure of who this boy was, but he sparked my interests immediately, and I felt something as soon as I laid eyes on him. The year progressed, and I learned a little bit more about the boy weekly. And then, the school year came to a close. Elementary school was over, and although I was sad to leave all of the memories behind, I was excited to see where middle school would take me. Fast forward to the first day of sixth grade, I walked in, and everything was situated, kind of. I made new friends, and that was that. Within the first week, the boy with the hazel eyes came up to me, and said something. It was a meaningless something, honestly, but it ignited a flame still lit brightly to this day. He simply said "gifted classes will start in a few weeks." And there the conversation ended. After that, we ended up having a few classes together, and sitting close to each other in them. We became friends almost immediately, and everything was pretty great. Was. Sixth grade was over. Life was changing. Again. I still liked him, but soon our friendship faded, and we stopped talking, much to my dislike. But there was someone new in my heart. The blue eyed boy. He was there that day, on the bus, when I fell in love with the other. At the time I hated him, tremendously, and it hadn't decreased until we ended up sitting beside each other in library. Another friendship formed, as I started to spiral into a worsening depression. I changed myself; I started sleeping all day after school, and staying up all night. Things were bad. He made me hate myself, without even trying. I wanted to hate him, but I couldn't; one gaze into those blue eyes and it was hopeless. I couldn't hate him; so I took it out on myself.