Chapter 2: Time left

The time that they have been through together seems so short, yet in
fact counted by days, it would have easily surpassed 1000 days.

Exactly how many times have I told Usagi-san 'I love you'. One, two,
three...he's amazed that he actually can count with just that two
hands of his. Though this is nothing to be proud of, but something
to be regret about, Misaki thought.

Even if I start saying today, I'll still never be able to make it
passed 100. Misaki chuckled staring into Usagi-san's face, that
flawless face of Usagi that has chosen him out of so many people in
Japan, how blessed and naive he has been in the past, never knowing
to cherish the daily love message spoken to him and thinking there's
always a next time to tell Usagi how much he loves him.

"What are you chuckling at"

"Nothing...Usagi-san, I love you"

Usami surprised and delighted gave a wide grin on his face that will
charm any passerby, girls or guys, but it's one that only Misaki is
allowed to see and which only Misaki has the power to make it appear
on his face. He wondered what makes Misaki, the monk who rarely
speaks of such stuff, says it out so naturally without even any slightest
hesitation. Is today a big day? Nope, today's definitely isn't
any big day. Or has Misaki eaten something wrong? Nope, no one has
send any chocolate today.

Then he remembered.

[Usami-san, we hoped that you can do the surgery as fast as
possible. It would be in your best interest to remove the tumour
before it developed any larger.

And as of now, the success rate of the operation is relatively high.
It's fortunate that it has been discovered in the early stages,
however the success rate will gradually decrease as time goes by. So
please make your decision quicky.]

"Foolish boy"

There is no way I will leave you behind without me by your side. He
brushed through Misaki's soft, brownish hair from behind the sofa
and slowly makes his way down, hugging Misaki from behind, laying his
head onto Misaki's shoulder.

"I wont die peacefully with you crying by my bed side when that
happens" Misaki hears Usagi's soft and comforting voice as it
travels directly into his ear loud and clear, making his heart pumps
even faster.

"That's why the time when I'm gone will only happens, if you are
gone first." Usami knows deep inside when he said this, it's not out
of his love for Misaki, but his own selfishness. Misaki only belongs
to him, he wont allow Misaki to leave him behind and find a new love
even if he knew Misaki will never ever betray him, whether he's
alive or dead.

But to Misaki, these voices of sweet messages only made it harder to
let go.

Usagi-san, it hurts. It really hurts.

There's not much time left for the both of us. Mist begins to form in
Misaki's eyes as he think of how his Usagi wont be the same Usagi
after the operation.

I'll never ever be able to repay you back for all that you have

given me. All those times that you keep reassuring me that our love
is inseparable and give me confident to believe in you and myself.

"Usagi-san, I love you"

No matter how many times I said this wont be enough. It will never
ever be enough to keep you by my side anymore.

["Misaki, I have to tell Usami-san.

It's not fair for Usami-san to not know the consequences of the
operation when he's the one who has to undergo it."Nowaki cant
bear to see the pair going on like this, especially after what
Hiroki told him last night.

["Are you belittling me?

Are our relationship so weak that you cant even trust me enough to

share your burdens with me?"]

Nowaki's uneasiness forced these words out of Hiroki who dont
usually express himself in their daily normal lives. But Nowaki
really appreciate Hiroki in a way that Hiroki is always the first
one to notice a change in Nowaki, bad or good. And it's because of
this that he has a better idea of what he is doing.

"So this plan of yours is to know let Usami-san knows that he is
going to lose part of his memories after the surgery"

"..."

"And then, what happens after that?"

"..."

"Do you think Usagi-San will still take on this surgery if he knows
that he may forgets about me after the surgery"

Misaki argued in a loud voice, vesting out all his anger onto
Nowaki. Who does he think he is, thinking that he knows what is the
best for both me and Usagi.

"I'm regretful, but you have to know.
Usami-san's circumstance is where the tumour is pressing on the
nerves cell in the brain. Usami-san will definitely lose his
memories, with or without the surgery. It's just a matter of time.

Slowly forgetting everything while staying alive or to stay alive
forgetting everything in a snap. It's his choice, not yours."

Usami-san has the right to know his fate, including how his choice
affect Misaki's fate as well, Nowaki deeply believed in this and
hoped the harsh words can affect Misaki's decision.

Why does both choices lead to the same ending...I dont want Usagi-
san to forget about me.

"I wont give Usagi-san even the slightest chance of hesitation" If
neither choices can give both of us a happy ending... let me decide
for him one that at least lead to his.

Usagi-san will still be able to smile even if he forgets everything
about me. He won't remember anything, and then what will happen to
me, what should I do then ... Misaki's anger turned into
desperation, a sense of hopelessness spread through his body,
weakening his limps as he slipped to the floor.

Misaki wants to think optimistically, a ray of miracle may happen
that he still remembers. But fairy tales dont just appear
out of nowhere. The higher the hope one holds, the harder one falls.

Droplets began to slip onto the floor from the figure on the ground
in Nowaki's office. Nowaki was set in his mind to persuade Misaki,
but looking at how Misaki is of right now, he became unsure of
whether if he is doing the right thing.

He does not have the right to interfere in this matter if Misaki
does not agree and given Misaki's emotional status right now, any
words said wont be heard. And what if what he did now really only
worsen the situation like how Misaki describe it, is he able to take
responsibility of that...if Usami-san insist on not taking on the
operation.]

Nowaki-san, thanks for keeping your promise. I'm grateful to you.

Lying next to Usagi-san on the king-size bed, Misaki took his time
to take a good look at his lover in the dark silent room filled with
toys and bears. Long eyelashes, straight upturned nose, thick lip
with slight square jaw. His lover is indeed a stunning man.

Usagi-san has always been an attractive man in his eyes ever since
Takahiro introduced Usami Akihiko to his life. Composed and
surrounded by a majestic aura, Misaki was mesmerised by him even
though he disliked his arrogant.

Funny how things turned out now, he was inspired to become a
great man like Usagi-san then, but yet turned out to be the
complete opposite of him.

Furthermore, he ended up as the lover of this man after a
twist of story. How he wished this is the end of that fairy tale
story. Happily Ever After...is still far away.