Yay~ New chapter~ I expected it to be short but it ended up with 2000+ words ^^"' Thank you to Nacchan and Ryo for pushing me to finish this chapter by today! Or else I most probably wouldn't have done it until next week... _ Mostly is Ritsu's flashback of what happened to Shiroyuki. Hope you all enjoy and please review! ^_^

Disclaimer : I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi and the characters, except for my OC, Shiroyuki Haru.

~Yuki

It became a routine for Ritsu to go to the library almost every day after school again. It didn't hurt as much anymore when he went there. And it was all because of Saga-senpai.

He would always look forward to when the last bell rang. Running as fast as he could to the library, his hair flying and face, pink with sweat. Upon reaching the library door, he would stop for a few seconds, to calm himself down before sliding the door open.

He would be greeted by the sight of his senpai, either sitting on the chair with his knees to his chest while sleeping, or reading a book with his usual poker face. When he looks up and sees Ritsu, a smile would usually take over the seemingly permanent frown on his face. It was a wonder to Ritsu, how it seemed that he was the only one the usually emotionless guy would smile to.

Sometimes they sat at the library, side by side, reading their books while listening to songs on the older boy's iPod. Sometimes they talked, about the day's events, useless stuff, important stuff, anything at all. To both Ritsu and Saga, that was their most precious time of their day, where they could just be themselves.

They would usually be alone in the library, as not many people wanted to hang out there after school. Occasionally, there would be a student looking for a book but they would never stay long.

The library was quiet, but it was one of the things that they enjoyed the most. As the window was sometimes left open, they could hear the students talking while walking home.

Ritsu was definitely grateful to Saga Masamune for helping him lessen the pain of the death of his ex-lover. He would never forget it, but at least he had started to move on. Still, he felt that he would never be able to recover from it. The wound was closing but he knew, it would definitely leave a scar, a big one. Especially when he knew it was him that caused that accident to happen.

As usual, both Shiroyuki and Ritsu were in the library. It was quiet. Both of them reading, until Ritsu felt a stare on him. He looked up and his eyes met with Shiroyuki's. Ritsu blushed, averting his eyes away. His eyes widened in shock as he felt hot lips meet his own. Ritsu squeezed his eyes shut. It was a quick kiss but passionate nevertheless. Ritsu slowly opened his eyes again, taking in the sight in front of him. Shiroyuki ruffled his hair.

'Hey, Ritsu… Tell me that you love me?' he said softly.

'Umm… senpai… I-i-i-i-' Ritsu's head exploded from the pressure of trying to say those 3 words.

Shiroyuki let out a soft chuckle. 'So you still can't say it huh? Then it alright. Just forget about it.'

'I'm sorry… senpai…' Ritsu said, looking down. Shiroyuki patted his head gently.

'It's fine, I said. I love you, Ritsu.'

Shiroyuki turned back to his book in front of him and started reading again.

Ritsu stared at his lover, feeling guilty for not being able to say those 3 words. He was scared, scared that when he said them, reality would suddenly crash in, destroying everything they were now.

Ritsu turned back to his book too. He read and reread that single paragraph but no matter how many times he read it, it couldn't seem to register in his mind. He was distracted by all the thoughts in his mind. He was too absorbed in his own little world that he didn't realize Shiroyuki calling out to him until he jabbed Ritsu's arm.

Ritsu nearly jumped out from his chair in shock.

'Y-yes, senpai?' he stuttered nervously.

'Sorry to frighten you like that. I just wanted to tell you that I would be heading back home first. I have something I need to do.'

'Oh… ok…' Ritsu replied back.

He watched as Shiroyuki tidied up his stuff and slung his school bag over his shoulder.

'Then, bye Ritsu. I'll walk you to school in the morning. See you tomorrow.' He said and left.

Silence took over the whole library as Ritsu continued reading, or rather, staring at his book. Figuring that it was no use sitting there and trying to read anymore, he packed his stuff too and left.

On the way home, he stopped by Pandaway* to get some food. He could still remember the first time he came here with Shiroyuki. He was asked a lot of questions and ended up getting the same thing as his senpai.

After paying for his food, he was about to find a seat to eat his food when he spotted his boyfriend. He was with… a girl… a pretty one at that. They seemed so happy and perfect for each other, laughing together at who knows what.

Before getting spotted by Shiroyuki, he rushed out of Pandaway, running until he was on a different street. He stopped to catch his breath, sweat coating his whole body.

He then walked home slowly, trying to figure out everything. He knew Shiroyuki was no one to cheat but what he just saw, proved otherwise.

'Maybe it was just his relative or a close friend of his…'

He tried to convince himself but there was an uneasy feeling in his gut. Still, he tried to ignore it. Upon reaching home, he said 'tadaima' but receive no response.

He sighed, knowing that once again, he would be eating alone that night. He ate his bought food, chewing slowly and thinking about Shiroyuki.

After eating, he lay on his bed, just staring at the ceiling. Without realizing it, he fell asleep.

The next morning when he woke up, he was still in his school uniform. Rubbing his eyes and yawning, he looked at his alarm clock. The time read 9:40 AM.

Oh no…

Ritsu gave a shriek of alarm. He was almost 2 hours late and had skipped 1st and 2nd period**. And worse, senpai had said that he would walk him to school. He immediately jumped out of bed and changed into a new uniform. Not bothering about breakfast, he ran all the way to school despite not being athletic.

He reached school in 5 minutes, huffing and his legs almost gave out underneath him. He forced himself to speed-walk to class. The teacher marked him as 'late' as he took a seat.

During break, he couldn't find Shiroyuki anywhere. Walking to his senpai's class again, he asked his classmates where he was. They said he didn't even come to school today.

'Is it because of me…?'

He thought and ran out of the school. Not knowing where the older boy might be, he just ran to where his legs took him to. When he stopped, he realized where he was. Shiroyuki's house was in front of him.

After debating with himself for a long time whether to press the doorbell or not, he heard Shiroyuki's voice. He could see Shiroyuki emerging from the door… together with the girl from the day before. Ritsu immediately rushed out from sight, and hid behind a wall. He couldn't hear clearly what they were talking about but he could hear snippets of the conversation.

'Last night… fun… but tiring…' Shiroyuki said, laughing.

'Yeah… still hurts… from it…' the girl said. Her voice was sweet and gentle.

'Sorry… accident… too fast…'

'… next time… more careful…'

'Yeah… like it…' Shiroyuki said something else softly but Ritsu couldn't hear it.

He was curious so he peeked out from his hiding place. What he saw, shocked him to the core.

Shiroyuki was hugging the girl, with a smile on his face. He let go of her, and leaned down slowly. Ritsu couldn't bear to watch anymore so he turned away. Wanting to get out of there, he turned around and tried to run.

Unfortunately for him, he knocked down a rubbish bin in his haste and it fell. The metal made a loud 'clash' sound as it came in contact with the ground. Frozen in place, he was deciding whether to pick it up or run.

Hearing the voices coming nearer, he made up his mind. As the boy and girl reached the fallen dustbin, they could only see the back of a small person running away. Shiroyuki could immediately tell it was Ritsu, from the hair.

Confused, he helped the girl pick up the rubbish bin. He would explain it to Ritsu later. For now, he would concentrate on finishing his task.

*Lunch Break*

Ritsu sat at his seat, staring absentmindedly out the window. The cherry blossom were at full bloom, the light pink of the flower made the school surrounding seem magical. But to Ritsu, the pretty sight was just nothing to him.

'Oi, Ritsu. Someone is here to look for you.' One of Ritsu's friends said to the boy.

Ritsu turned to see Shiroyuki at the back door, staring at him. Deciding that he would end this before he got even more hurt, he followed Shiroyuki to the rooftop.

Gazing out into the distance, the sky seemed so clear. It was just like any other day. But then Ritsu spoke.

'Hey, Shiroyuki-senpai… let's break up…' the brown-haired boy said.

'W-what?! Stop joking around will you!' Shiroyuki was shocked at what Ritsu had just said.

'I'm not joking, senpai. I'm serious.'

'Then look me in the eye. Look at me and say it again.'

Ritsu knew he couldn't look at his boyfriend's face, or he would cry.

'Bye… senpai…'

Ritsu ran to the door, down the stairs, and out of the school. He was hoping Shiroyuki would chase after him and comfort him, but he was halfway home already and he didn't see the boy behind him.

He saw drops of water falling to the floor, but it wasn't raining… It was his tears. Wiping them away roughly, he scolded himself for being so weak-hearted.

Wasn't he the one who broke it off? So why was he crying?

The tears wouldn't stop now. He just continued home, ignoring the stares of the people around him. His house came into sight. He ran in, up the stairs and slumped onto his bedroom floor.

'What a pathetic weakling I am…'

He thought to himself, letting his tears fall freely. He crawled into bed, hiding his face in his pillow. He didn't know when he fell asleep but when he woke up, it was already evening. His pillow was damp with his tears.

Eyes red and swollen, his face was quite a sight. He went to the bathroom next to his room and washed his face. He changed and went out to buy dinner, most probably a store bento box again.

*A few days later*

He didn't see Shiroyuki for a few days already. What had happened to him?

When Ritsu reached the school, it seemed that everyone seemed to be talking about something. Confused at what was happening, he asked one of his classmates who was changing his shoes***.

'Ehh? You don't know? They said that our senpai… umm… what was his name again… ahh, Shiroyuki! They said that he died in a hit-and-run accident yesterday.'

Ritsu eyes widened in shock, not wanting to believe it.

'What's wrong, Ritsu?'

Ritsu ran out of the school without replying. He ran to Shiroyuki's house and rang the doorbell. His parents came out, with grave faces on, and he asked where Shiroyuki's grave was. They gave the name of the place to him.

He ran there as fast as he could. He would not believe it until he saw for himself. He thought that Shiroyuki was playing a trick on him, to get back for breaking up.

But it was true, Ritsu realized as he stopped in front of a grave. The name 'Shiroyuki Haru' was engraved on the tombstone. It looked new, as if it had just been put there. A bunch of flowers were on top of Shiroyuki's grave.

Ritsu felt his legs gave out underneath him. He nearly went crazy, from the shock. His tears fell once again. The young boy let out a scream, one showing pain and hurt. His chest hurt. He couldn't think straight.

The next thing he knew, was that he was at home again. He opened his eyes, grimacing at the throbbing pain in his head. He thought that Shiroyuki dying was just a dream but no, he knew it himself already.

It wasn't until weeks later that he found out that Shiroyuki was rushing to his house, to apologize when he got into that car accident. From that moment he knew, he blamed himself, only himself.

He would go to his grave at least once a month, to tidy up the place and put new flowers. Then after about half a year, he stopped. It hurt too much, and he wanted to concentrate on his studies. He wanted to forget everything.

That was until he went back a year later. And met Saga Masamune…

*Pandaway - Takano-san found Ritsu outside this fast-food place in the last episode of the 2nd season.

**1st and 2nd period - In Japan, one of the school periods is usually 50 minutes.

***Changing shoes - In Japan, students need to remove their shoes at the entrance (they are assigned shoes boxes to put the shoes in) and put on their indoor shoes.

~Yuki