-1Medic had it. He had to. What other crazy bastard would want to smash a tank and steal a little baby for no reason at all?

Actually Medic probably would give a reason, and it'd probably be the same reason why he was found slipping steroids in Soldier's morning American brand coffee ("BREWED BY AMERICA, FOR AMERICA, AND NOT FOR YOU WORTHLESS MAGGOTS!") and the reason would be, 'for science!' in whatever crazy field the crazed lunatic was studying now.

Apparently now he'd taken an interest in Scout's pet, and god help him when Scout got his hands on him, that baby was his and not Medic's!

Not wasting time, Scout hopped over the broken glass and grabbed his bat. Boy would he enjoy bashing in the kidnapping doctor's brains. With sporting equipment in hand, Scout dashed from the room, heading to the medical bay.

On the way, he passed the kitchen.

Then he skidded to a stop, and jogged backwards to peer into the same room.

Good god no.

Medic was standing at the bench, back to Scout as he pounded away at something on the chopping board with the meat tenderizer, drops of blood flying with the movement of the hammer.

"NOOOOO!" Scout rushed into the room, shoving Medic aside. As the German hit the floor, glasses askew, Scout scooped up the bloody mess and held it to his chest, wailing, "Ya bastard! Ya killed my pet!"

From the floor, a very confused Medic looked up at him. "…Scout, ah you a vegetarian?" he asked cautiously.

"What the hell kinda question is that at ask? Fuck no!" He growled, clinging to the dripping meat.

"Zen kindly put down my steak und get out my kitchen!" Medic yelled, getting to his feet.

"St…steak? It's not my pet?"

" Mein gott, I'm surprised you ah even able to look aftah yourself let alone a pet! Get out!"

Scout dropped the meat onto the chopping board and fled.

---

"Oh gawd, I hugged a piece 'a meat!" Scout stood in front of the mirror in he showers, washing the blood off his hands and face, scrubbing at them with his nails. "Raw meat oh god, disgustin' ugh,! Ma would kill me."

Shoving aside the mental image of his mother whaling on him with a baseball bat for even touching raw meat without washing his hands, Scout grabbed the towel and dried himself off.

" 'Kay, think kid, c'mon, s'easy, Engie does it all the time…Who'd take the little guy?"

Maybe Heavy? Always yelling but liked cute things? Na, too stupid. Then again it'd explain why the tank was smashed.

What about Spy? It did look like a mini him, but in red really. That'd make sense too, but no one knew where Spy really was most of the time.

"Stupid shapeshiftin' freak." he muttered, kicking the wall. Instead of getting the dull thunk of his boot connecting with tile, he felt his foot connect with something soft and fleshy and a quiet whine. As his foot came back down, the team Spy flickered into view, slumping on the floor, hands clutching at his damaged 'family jewels'.

"…Shit, what the fuck are ya doin' watchin' me ya creepy fuck?!" he yelled, sorely tempted to kick him again. "And what the fuck ya done with my pet?!"

From his place on the wet and suspicious smelling tiled floor, Spy glared up at him, not quite able to breath yet. He did mange to squeak out the French equivalent of 'Fuck you' and by this point in Scout's life, he knew most of the French curses, since Spy himself had been badgered into telling him, so it was really only fair he gave Spy a black eye.

"Where. Is. My. PET?!" Scout grabbed the silk tie, ignoring the protests. "C'mon ya French faggot, where is he?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Spy coughed, "What pet?"

Disgusted, Scout let the tie fall from his grip, but not before he'd tightened the knot.

Leaving the choking Frenchman on the ground behind him, Scout left the room. God damnit, who had his pet?

---

One quick search of Spy's room later (just to confirm he didn't have the precious baby Tentaspy) and Scout was planning on visiting Heavy next. The giant oaf seemed like the likely suspect, at least in Scout's deranged and panicked mind, and it was with the thought that Heavy might have eaten the baby for a snack that he banged on the Russian's door.

Inside, there was a weak moan before Heavy's voice called out, "Go away little baby!"

With his pet's life at stake? Was he nuts?! That creature was depending on him to save it! Full of heroic feeling, Scout kicked down Heavy's bedroom door and -