Chapter 2

BPOV

I was usually early for staff meetings, because I had friends in other departments that I really only saw during meetings. But because of all that had happened, I chose to be right on time for this one. There would be more staff meetings to see friends.

It was a speech that the captain gave every year. He'd even had his outline laminated so that he wouldn't have to print it out every season. From my seat in the back, I saw Edward and some of the other Pros mouthing along with the captain's speech. They had it memorized and I resisted the urge to laugh. It wasn't too hard to resist because Edward was laughing with someone I'd never seen him talk to ever. Emmett McCarty sat right next to him. Emmett was one of the security guards and he and Edward hardly ever even looked at each other, much less laughed together.

Tyler, the Cruise Director, was the only one who said anything I hadn't heard before and his speech caught everyone's attention.

"You all know the rules about employee fraternization. In the past, staff was not allowed to date staff or passengers. Because you did it anyway," Here Tyler paused to let the yelling settle down, and then he continued. "Because you did it anyway, and it caused such a problem last year, Emmett McCarty, we are repealing the restriction on staff and staff only. So, you can date staff, but not guests. Do I make myself clear? If it becomes an even greater problem than before, we will yank the privileges right back," he finished amidst an even louder burst of celebration, Emmett louder than any others. Guess he would finally get to go after Rosalie Hale, one of my friends who worked under the Chief Purser. No one really listened to the rest. However, Captain Maher kept us in the meeting until we could see the guests gathering in the dining hall.

I walked past Edward to the table where Alice was sitting. I sometimes sat with him on lounge nights, but I didn't even look at him as I passed. He didn't seem to notice that I was ignoring him. However, the guy that ran into me earlier didn't ignore me. He came right over and introduced himself.

"Hey, my name is Jacob Black. Thank you very much for helping me find my room earlier. I was lost and I didn't want to get picked on by anyone."

"I'm Bella Swan. They only choose one a year and it looks like they have him already." I pointed to a group of hasslers that were picking on a short guy that looked nervous. Jacob thanked me again then sat at a table with some of the crew of the ship. I sat next to Alice who gave me a questioning look.

"Who was that? He's cute."

"He was lost earlier today and I showed him where he needed to go. He was just thanking me."

"Hm."

"What?" There wasn't time for me to find out what she was meaning, because dinner was served. I, however, couldn't eat yet because I was the first up. Food would clog my vocal chords. Tyler preferred to give the guests a little time to eat before the singers got on stage, so I had to sit and wait. Finally, Tyler gave the signal for me to make my way back stage.

After I sang, I moved my food to a table for two and finally ate. It had been a long time since lunch and I was hungry. Staff were required to mingle with the guests occasionally during dinner. Tyler came by my table, complimented my singing, and then "encouraged" me to get up and mingle. I managed a few more bites before he looked at me from across the room with a look that said I had better get up.

I mingled a little then sat down again. My food was getting cold, and there were only ten guests. They had probably met every single staff member on the ship. I scanned the room for Alice and instead met Edward's eyes. He was looking back at me but I looked away and found Alice.

She was finishing her meal, trying to get finished in time to clear her throat for her turn on stage. I was on my way back to her table when Jacob stepped in front of me.

"So, you are a performer. Wow. That was amazing."

"Thanks. It's easier to just let people see for themselves. They sometimes don't believe me. I also dance."

"Can't wait to see that."

"You'll have to. And even tomorrow I'm on the back row so you probably won't see me." I could tell that Jacob wanted to talk, so I resigned myself to a long conversation. Alice was about to go on stage anyway.

It wasn't as bad as I had thought. He was a very nice guy. He was good looking; he had a pleasant accent. He did talk a little too much about himself, but it was okay, we had just met. He was from a small reservation in Washington and had come to work as a navigator with Dream.

"My parents met their closest friends on a cruise. I grew up hearing about how great they were, and I love the ocean. I wanted to get away from home, see the world, and here I am. Navigator on the Dream Inspiration. I graduated last year from the best boating college in America. I'm living out my dream and I am only twenty-three."

"Congratulations. I'm almost twenty-one, and I have no idea what I am going to do after I graduate."

"You got one more year?"

"Yeah, but I'm taking a year off to make enough money. I refuse to take out loans. I will graduate debt-free."

"So why Dream? You said you're from Phoenix. Isn't southern Florida far away?"

"From my family? I can't get far enough away. I go to school in South Carolina, but my dad is actually in Washington and my mom is in Phoenix. I also have close relatives in thirty other states. Florida is supposedly free from them."

"Hard home life?"

"You don't know the half of it. It'd take days to explain it all."

"We have almost a year."

"Maybe another time. We're supposed to mingle."

I guess I might have been running from my family. They weren't all bad. Renee, my mother, was kind enough to store my stuff from my apartment for a year. And well, money wasn't the only reason I was taking a whole year off.

Edward was part of my reasoning, but I had only spent three months a year with him. I wanted to learn more about him, but more than that, I needed to decide about my future. My major was English, but I needed to know what I would do with it. I was also considering staying longer to get a second degree in either music or psychology. My year commitment included a few benefits that would be useful to me. The three-month off-season was in the middle of my year, in late winter.

Yearly employees got paid a little more than the seasonals and it was spread out through the year. In the off-season, it was automatically deposited in our accounts. My plan was to spend those three months driving across the country, seeing as many states as I could before I ran out of money. And I had five months to figure out my route.

Dream's year ran from June to May and it was divided in two seasons. There were two weeks in May that were set aside for deep cleaning and small repairs. All employees worked those two weeks, practicing or cleaning or preparing for the summer season. As I said before, it was a small ship and the three months off were used for major repairs and renovations.

After dinner the guests slowly drifted to their staterooms. They had to make sure they were prepared for the arrival of their friends and the noise of the next day. The guests got a day of peace and quiet but had to deal with the last minute preparations of the staff and crew.

After dinner, the staff rushed to finish getting the ship spotless. I changed clothes and went to the Fairy Tale deck to help check the rooms there. I was surprised to glimpse Edward and Jacob going in and out of the rooms. The Fairy Tale deck was one of the cheaper levels and most staff helped with the more elegant decks. The three of us chose to check that one but they were never really close enough for me to talk to.

I was almost finished when I saw Edward walking my direction. However, Jacob distracted me. When I looked back, Edward was gone.

"Bella, I'm finished, but I'm lost again. Could you help again when you're finished?" I hid my disappointment.

"I just have two more rooms to check. You check that one and I'll check this one, and then we can go."

I couldn't help but be disappointed. The facts were that I knew almost nothing about Edward apart from what went on on the Inspiration and he was resisting me getting to know his private life. Then there was Jacob. A very hot guy who didn't care what I knew about him. He was willing to get to know me and let me get to know him. And there was a total of nine months to get to know him.

I probably should have resigned myself to be Edward's friend again. It had strained my friendship with Alice. She was close to Edward too, and since they were siblings, he naturally came before me.

I didn't have any time to talk to Edward, though, until three days later, our fifth day out to sea. The two weeks in between the seasons were very rushed. There were always things that went wrong and needed to be fixed and Edward helped. He was able to do anything on the ship, and he was always willing and available to help with any problems. He usually asked me to help, but this year I saw Alice helping.

Everyone was busy those first few days of the cruise. The first cruise of the season was to Ireland. I was very excited about Ireland, but that was being snowed under by the personal chaos.

Practice ran almost all day every day because we were learning new numbers. Edward was combining singing and dancing more so I had to be up front more often. I couldn't hide anymore. Of course, with all the knowledge of the upcoming attention, I had to work harder to get around my lack of coordination. It tended to show up in my dancing when I was stressed or nervous.

Soon, Edward and I would have to practice alone together. Mike was almost better, but the ship's doctor said he should wait until after Ireland to do solos. Edward had cast Mike and I as the leads in most of his new programs, so he had a lot to practice before we would be performing.

He avoided the private practices until our fifth day out to sea. As the leads, we had to get our parts right before we could put all of the others together. We had until after we left Ireland to practice. The entertainment would be mainly Irish River Dancers until then. The cruise staff wanted the guests to be so tired of Ireland by the time we left that they would wish for something different. It was the first time Dream had offered a cruise to Ireland, so it was a very full cruise.

As usual, the new show was all about love found, lost, and regained. Very unoriginal and full of the things I had a huge problem with. But Edward knew what the people wanted and wrote his choreography to please them.

Edward Cullen was a very well-rounded person. He was a very good actor to add to all his other talents. I had to keep reminding myself that he was just acting, no real feelings behind his words and looks and that I was supposed to be acting too. But sometimes, the emotion behind his emerald eyes made me want to run my hands through his beautiful bronze messy hair. The other performers had to practice their parts as well, so we kept it to three hours. I followed him outside to the deck.

"Edward, I want to apologize. You said you wanted to get back to how we were. I'm sorry I rejected you, but I really don't think we can ever be the same again. The fact is that you are my best friend, but I don't feel just friendship so it's been difficult. Know that you never encouraged me, so you don't have to feel embarrassed about that. I would like to try to be friends again, if you still want to. I'd rather have you as a friend than to lose you forever," I gushed out all at once.

Edward was silent throughout my speech and sometime after. He didn't even try to speak. I just turned and walked away, frustrated with his silence. He grabbed my arm and spoke.

"Maybe it was wrong for us to be so close. Someone always gets hurt in those situations. I don't want to lose you either, but maybe we should not be so close." He let go of my arm and I continued on. His words hurt worse than being completely dismissed. To know how close we were. To know all he knew about me. And he didn't want to be that close to me anymore.

What did I do?

I tried to figure it out on my way to my room. I couldn't remember anything I said that would make him pull away. I almost ran into Jacob again. This was becoming a habit.

"Sorry, again, Jacob. That's becoming a habit."

"Are you doing anything right now?"

"No, I have a few hours."

"Would you show me around the ship? I know the map, but I'd like to get to know some staff and hang out with you. Since this is your third summer I thought you'd know a few people." I ended up spending the whole day with Jacob. We ran into Alice a few hours later and she joined us.

Alice was in the lounge show that night, but I had the night off. The three of us sat at a large table with Edward and some other pros. The pros tend to sit together since we know each other and are friends. The newbies sit together or with pros from their department. Jacob took the opportunity to learn some information about Dream.

"Edward, you've worked here longer than anyone else I've met. I want to make Dream my life. Got any tips?" Edward looked at Jacob a few moments before he replied.

"Use your vacations and money wisely. Find a home and settle there. And completely get to know Dream Inspiration and what she is like as a mistress. Understand that she doesn't love you back." I looked at Edward quickly but he was looking down at his plate.

I was very uncomfortable, remembering our conversation from three weeks earlier. I was trying to forget about it, but he kept making comments that brought the past back. I knew things would be weird for a long time. Maybe forever. And that was my greatest fear when I was worrying about telling him. I knew things would be different. Whether we would be closer or apart, things would never be the same.

My birthday was coming up soon. I was almost excited about it. Just one more week. The main reason I was excited was because the day before my birthday we would arrive in Ireland. Two great things in two days! Twenty-one was such a milestone. I hoped I would feel more like an adult, but with the way Edward was treating me, I wasn't very hopeful. And we would have three whole days in Ireland. And payday was that Monday.

I had saved money all school year and was expecting birthday money from my family at each port. I wasn't disappointed.

I tried to keep my birthday a secret. I never reminded anyone about the date nor did I ever talk about it. But Edward and Alice always remembered. However, with things strained as they were among us, I had no expectations. I had barely talked to Alice since we'd shipped out.

Fortunately, I knew that was normal for the first cruise of the season. She usually hadn't seen Edward since Christmas so they spent a lot of time together catching up. I gave them their time alone. By the end of the first week, we missed each other enough to force our schedules around to hang out. Our lives were calmed down by then anyway.

As performers, we didn't have many duties. Dance practices in the mornings and singing in the afternoon. Between them, there was lunch and down time. We could either rest or practice for the performances. If the Irish performers weren't scheduled for that night, those of us who were scheduled to perform practiced.

The special cruises, such as the Ireland one, had guest performers. Travelers got bored very easily on a long cruise so Edward looked for exciting acts to alternate with the staff performers. We had classic favorites, but he had somehow arranged to get a group of Irish Riverdance performers. They added a bit of excitement, drove up the cost of the cruise, and increased our paychecks.

We still had to go to at least one of the practices each day. One day, Alice and I decided to go to the early morning one and spend the rest of the day together. Edward ignored me again.

After practice, we cooled off in the deck pool. The deck was very popular, but the pool was mostly empty. There were too many activities to do to just laze in the pool.

Alice had been talking about Jasper Whitlock, one of the newby performers who'd caught her eye, and I was only half listening. I was more thinking about what a mess I'd made. I had thought that Edward was such a friend that I could share my real feelings with no consequences. I just blurted out what I was thinking.

"I was wrong. Everyone says never tell your best friend you are in love with them because the relationship is ruined. They were right."

"It's not ruined. This is the first cruise of the summer season. The two week clean up was more intense this time. It's our first time to Ireland. And it is a maxed out cruise."

"You may say it's not ruined, but it will never be the same. Promise we'll stay friends no matter what?"

"We were friends before him and we'll be friends after him."

"Thanks, Alice."

"Now, tell me about Jacob Black."

"What? I know little more about him than you do."

"Bella. You spent more than half the day with him yesterday. And he's rarely far away from you when you both aren't working."

"I can't think about another guy when I still like Edward. It would be like a rebound or something. Jacob was annoying at first, but I think it's just because it was a new job and I was the only one he knew. We're just friends. He may have plans I don't know about, but not me."

"Do you still hope—"

"Never any hopes, you know that. But I just can't snap away from a man like Edward. After every season, I tried to forget him. To not think about how great he is. It just got worse. I don't know him that well, but what I do know is amazing. I've never had any hope for any guy, you know that. No hope, just the wish."

"I know."

"But he avoids me. He can't be any busier than any other summer. He used to ask me to help him. Has he said anything to you?" She just shook her head.