Ok, this one-shot is based off of Harvest Moon: Sprite Station For Girls
So Called Albino
Let's see, it was nighttime in Forget-Me-Not Valley, Jill, Claire and Rock are sitting in the main room of the Inner Inn.
"I have an albino sheep." Jill mentioned, starting off their conversation.
"Aren't all sheep albino?" Claire questioned.
"No, my sheep has red eyes and it glows in the dark." Jill stated.
"…Is it supposed to do that?" Rock asked cautiously.
"Hey," Claire said sitting up Indian-style, "I wonder if that sheep is like Steiner…"
"What?"
"Who?"
"You know…that guy, STEINER, the thief... the chick with silver hair?" Claire explained.
"You mean the albino?" Jill guessed, looking through her memory bank.
"…Is he even albino?" Rock brought up.
"I don't know. I've never seen his face before, only his gay clothes." Claire admitted.
"They aren't gay!" Rock yelled, getting into a feminine spaz. "They're stylish! Check out my outfit!" He said, trying to pose like Steiner.
Both Claire and Jill held a blank stare, and then turned back to their conversation, leaving out the poor, attention-seeking Rock in his own, little world.
"Hey, how about tomorrow night, all three of us try and find him, tie him up, put a flashlight to his face, and see if his eyes are red?!" Jill planned excitedly, expecting everyone to agree to her ingenious scheme.
"Or, how about tomorrow night, we knock him out, lock him in Rock's room, put a flashlight to his face, and see if his eyes are red and that he glows in the dark?" Claire suggested, even though half of the plan was Jill's.
"Okay." Jill agreed.
"Wait, why can't we just go now?" Rock interjected, finally getting his say in the conversation.
A silent pause filled the room for about two minutes… then came a sneeze… from Ruby who was behind the counter. Why she was there and not in the kitchen, I don't know.
"Alright!" Claire screamed at the top of her lungs, making everyone in the room near deaf, "Let's go get ourselves an albino!"
While the three "musketeers" were babbling on, a very chic thief was sitting on a rock. Yes, you read right, a rock. And what was that stylish bandit of the night doing, you ask? Eating curry. Eating Rainbow Curry (his favourite dish), to be more descriptive. No wonder people question his sexuality.
Wonder what I can jack from the hillbillies tonight... Steiner, our lovely valley thief, thought, planning his next escapade.
"How about new pants? Goddess knows you need to get less tacky things as purple pants." Gustafa suggested, fiddling with his ukulele-I mean country… guitar… thing.
"…Did you just answer my thoughts?" Steiner asked with an uneasy face. How did that hippie get here with out anyone noticing him? He was supposed to be the sexy, stealthy one of the valley, not some drugged up hobo!
"And you people wonder why I have a flower in my hat." Gustafa answered matter-of-factly. Yep, he was stoned.
"Um, yeah, well… that's radical and all, but I got to go now…" Steiner said, slowly walking away. He came back though, to take his precious curry along with him.
"Goddess, there are so many fruity people living here….Why isn't there anyone at least half decent?" Steiner said to himself, taking another bite out of his colourful cuiry.
"You're the one to talk, mister."
Steiner abruptly stopped and yelled in the air, "Why are people sneaking up and talking to me!? That's MY role in this video game!"
The owner of the voice simply dusted off her sleeve, "Well, if you were more observant to your surroundings, maybe then you won't seem so out of character to the readers."
Steiner turned to the voice and found a very large, plump woman flexing her muscles. Yep. It was Vesta, the strong woman of the valley. He took in her words and ran away. A thief such as himself should not be seen in the open like that.
"Holy crap… how hard is it to find this guy? He's wearing white for Goddess' sake! What kind of idiot would wear something that stands out so much in the dark, to steal things? His hair is even white!" Claire ranted, probably to herself if her 'friends', as she liked to call them, were even listening.
"Maybe he's… different?" Jill suggested, hoping she was right.
"Different indeed! Did you see his leopard print shirt? Smexy…" Rock added, running his hand down his chest, trying to pose, yet again, like Steiner.
"Ok, dude. We didn't need to hear that." Claire said, getting annoyed now.
"Hmph," Rock stuck his nose high in the air and put his hands in his pockets. "At least I'm a fun blond."
Claire just looked at him as if he was nuts. "Well at least you're just as dumb as one." She retorted, ignoring the fact that she was dissing herself too.
"You're just jealous" Rock ended with a smirk.
"Wow, you know what…just…wow." Claire rolled her eyes, speechless at how big a man's ego can be.
"Hey guys, is this a Steiner?" Jill asked, poking something big, white and fluffy (Mukumuku!).
"No." Claire answered, quickly walking away.
"Oh…" Jill looked down and followed suit.
The three continued on their way.
"What is the meaning of my existence? What do I have to do in this life? What am I meant to do? Why am I here?" Cliff muttered to himself leaving the valley to back to Mineral Town. "Why am I being so angsty? I'm with Ann now, shouldn't my dialogue have changed to make it look like I'm getting happy? I don't get it! Why-" he was cut off by an unknown force knocking him onto the ground.
"Ughh… what did I drink last night?" Cliff said groggily, rubbing the back of his head, even though he was sober. "Hey, wait, who..?" he ended at that when he saw that 'unknown force'. Poor Steiner was on his hands and knees, looking at his beloved, good-looking, spilt Rainbow Curry.
"Ahh…" Steiner made a pitiful sound and looked up at the one who made him ruin his meal.
Cliff's mouth half dropped and his eyes went wide. "A ghost!" he screamed, quickly getting on his own two feet. "A really good-looking one at that…" Cliff added, admiring the supposed ghost's fashion sense.
"Ahh…" Steiner made another weak cry, accidentally proving to Cliff that he was indeed, a ghost.
"AHHHH!" Cliff screamed and ran away, all the way to Mineral Town.
"Ahh…" Steiner heaved, got up, and sluggishly walked away, inwardly mourning for his lost food.
Back to the trio of dimwits…
"I still say green comes before red does in peppers." Rock argued with Claire…again.
"No it doesn't." Claire argued back stubbornly. She was NOT going to be one-upped by a pansy, even though she knows he's right.
"Yes they do," Rock contradicted, dragging on their lame argument.
"No they don't"
"Yes they do."
"No they don't"
"Look, will you two stop contradicting each other? It's getting boring." Jill butted in. Jill has the patience of a saint…that or she's just to slow to notice anything. If she did have patience though, she was losing it. If she was going to listen to an argument, it had to be a good one. But alas, they had long forgotten about their other companion.
"No." Claire stated, not giving way her position.
"Oh, come on, they do. You're a farmer! You should know this stuff." Rock continued.
"Well…" Claire was trying to think up of another come back. "You are NOT a farmer." She mentally slapped herself.
"…"
"HAH!" Claire jumped and pointed in his face. "Oh my Goddess that actually made your mouth shut!" she finished, grinning like a four year old.
"Awesome." Jill smiled at her friend's verbal victory.
"…" Rock slumped his shoulders and walked slightly ahead of them.
"Hey," Jill said softly. "Is that an… albino?"
"Where?" Rock asked monotonously, still pouting.
"Up here, or there, or anywhere, because I do not like green eggs and ham." Jill answered.
"You got to stop reading Dr. Suess." Claire said looking at her kind of scared, considering that she still read children books.
"No way, he owns," Jill said, "Anyways, the albino is over there." She told them, pointing in front of her. As if on cue, Steiner was walking up the path, right to towards them.
"Oh my Goddess you're right, it is Steiner!" Claire yelled.
"Alright, let's catch this Pokemon!" Rock yelled eagerly.
"What," Claire looked at him disbelievingly, "Dude, we don't need those damn pokeballs, we need rope! Where is it?"
"No rope here." Jill informed.
"What!? Now how are we supposed to get him!?" Claire yelled, starting to panic.
"I have a master ball with me, but I was saving it if I ever capture Mewtwo…" Rock said taking it out of his pocket.
Claire grabbed it out of his hand and threw it at his head. "Idiot! Jill, find something to capture him. Rock, shut up."
"I found a bag, we can use it." Jill said holding up a human sized body bag.
"…Where did you get that?" Claire slowly asked.
"Dr. Hardy." Jill answered while behind her Dr. Hardy was waving to them from his house window.
"Ok, whatever. Gimme it," Claire said, grabbing the bag and ran towards Steiner. "Hello Albino, prepare to be… INTERRAGATED!" Claire yelled and stuffed him in the body bag. The poor thief never had a chance, which was funny, because he was a thief. Steiner got stolen!
"Alright, let's head back to Rock's," Claire instructed, dragging the filled body bag behind her.
"Wait, wait! I have to add him in my Pokedex!" Rock half-screamed while pushing random buttons on the little red gadget.
"Jill?"
"Yeah?"
"Drag him by the hair."
"Yes ma'am."
The door swung open as three people, plus one, entered the large but cozy looking building titled 'The Inner Inn'. Each one was stepping as quietly as possible; no one will hear them that way.
"What are you guys doing? You are making quite a lot of noise there." Tim asked from behind the reception counter, looking bored as hell. Rock and Jill stopped mid-step and stared as Claire slapped her forehead in aggravation.
"Umm… nothing." Rock thought up on the spot, hoping to fool the middle-aged innkeeper.
"Yeah," Jill started to add to the lie, "nothing requires not doing things… and that is what we are doing…"
Tim raised his eyebrows at the two and darted his eyes toward Claire. "Claire?" he questioned, wanting her side of the story, if there was one.
"Buddy, I don't even know anymore." Claire forced out and sighed, her face giving off the message 'There's no hope left in the world'.
"Hmmm…" Tim answered thinking about what just occurred and then… his head hit the top of the counter; making the bell and pens and the rest that was on it falling to the floor. Everybody still didn't move a muscle and kept there stare on him.
"I'm not even gonna ask…" Claire said, breaking the short silence that filled the main room's atmosphere.
"He fell asleep." Jill informed, unaware of what Claire had just said.
"I didn't ask!" Claire yelled at the slow brunette, losing her temper once again.
Darkness was everywhere… yeah, that pretty much sums his surroundings up. No, this is not going to be one of those poor attempts at writing an apathetic and cliché emo story… he just couldn't see with all the darkness clouding his vision! And his head kept on hurting, pounding as every second passed… if he could actually tell time in his unconscious state. What's going on??? Then… air. Yes, he can finally breathe normally again. And then… hands. Hands lifted him onto something… a chair, he guessed. The next thing that made contact with him was string. String? Very, very thick and coarse string surrounded his upper body, getting tighter and tighter. What's going on??? After a few more moments passed by, Steiner finally decided to open his eyes. Three country bumpkins were standing around him, looking at him intently.
"…What's going on…?" Steiner asked, giving voice to his question from earlier. He then looked down. "Why am I tied up like this?"
"Heh heh heh…" the blonde bumpkin chuckled evilly, scaring everyone in the closed-in bedroom. "Because," she started, sauntering up to the poor silver-haired hostage. "…you are our prime suspect in our debate!"
"Uh huh…?" Steiner had no idea what was in store for him. Wait, wasn't he the thief here? Shouldn't he be doing the "tying up people" and "intimidating all living creatures that walk by" thing? Sad if you think about it on his part.
"Yes indeedy you are!" the other blond said, holding up a flashlight. Great, more people stealing his role.
"So now… open your eyes wide!" Jill added in to the yelling, trying to sound evil like the others, and failing miserably.
"What the fu-" Steiner was cut off by Claire, grabbing his pecs.
"Hey… where are your boobs? I thought you were a woman!" Claire yelled, mortified at the fact that she was wrong.
"Uhhh…." Steiner was really scared now. Who wouldn't be in his position? Before Steiner could get his say Claire ripped open his shirt, to get a better view.
"Ooooooh Claire, I never knew you were so… rough!" Rock stated, getting closer to her, and getting her more pissed off than ever.
"Okay, seriously man… just… stop talking, okay! You're starting to remind me of those fanfiction writers who make Kai a stereotypical player in their stories. Not. Cool." Claire justified for all Kai-fans, glaring at him with all her anger towards him and bad fanfiction writers.
"Fine, fine…" Rock gave in.
Ummm… can I leave now?" Steiner piped in, wiggling around in his rope cocoon.
"No, we're not finished yet." Claire answered, back on topic. She faced the half-shirtless thief and wagged her index finger in front of his face, barely brushing off the tip of his nose.
Steiner was, to say the least, petrified; even more than before. But even that adjective was an understatement. Just the Jill casually walked over to him, Rock and Claire, finally taking part in their plan that wasn't really thought up well. It somehow worked for them so far.
"Well now, let's see if he's albino, just like my cute little sheep!" Jill said happily, imagining a sheep in her arms and hugging it to its non-existent death. Yep, she was having her chibi moment in this story.
"Okey dokey. Rock, flashlight. Now." Claire ordered, sticking out her hand.
"Yeah, yeah…" Rock answered and passed her the flashlight.
"K, thanks. Jill, turn out the lights." Claire again ordered her other partner in her not-so-criminal crime.
"Okay!" Jill smiled widely and skipped over to the light switch. The room then went dark. A small flicker of light pierced the short-lived ebony veil of darkness and spotted at someone, the wrong someone. "Wah! Not at me! Not at me!" Jill screamed covering her eyes with her flailing hands.
"I know," Claire said. "Just felt like doing that to you."
"Oh wow, that's nice." Rock said sarcastically.
"Do you want this in the eye as well?" Claire asked him, anger written all over her question to the poor blond boy.
"No." Rock replied the simple truth.
"Too bad," Claire said and pointed the flashlight at him, directly into his eyes.
"Ahhh!" Rock screamed, turning his head away from the tiny concentrated light source.
"That's better," Claire said, facing the flashlight down. "Now it's your turn Mr. Albino."
"I am not albino!" Steiner screamed.
"Prove it." Claire replied.
"What?" he answered, making a double-take at her words.
"I said prove it." She replied again, taking a step towards him.
"Oh my Goddess…" Steiner couldn't believe it. He went through all this trouble-not even his trouble, in one night, to prove a fact that wasn't even a fact. Why did he move into this wacko town?
Claire then bent over, leaned into him, held his neck with her left hand, and used her right hand to hold the flashlight over his face. She search his eyes for any traces of red, but all that could be found were shades of light blue.
"W-what!? Blue!? No way! You're eyes are blue!? They're freakin' blue!? What the hell, man!" Claire was flabbergasted. All her thoughts, all her assumptions of Steiner went down the drain. First of all, she thought that he was a woman, and second, she thought he was an albino. He was neither one of them!
"Exactly!" Steiner yelled again, still trying to get himself out of the 'crazy peoples' as he dubbed them, trap of doom, as he dubbed it again.
"B-but… but… that's not fair!"
"Aww… so he isn't like my sheep after all?" Jill asked sadly, flicking on the lights.
"Guess not," Rock answered, sitting in the corner of his room playing with his Pokedex.
"Oh, would you please get rid of that damn thing!? Jill yelled for the first time in this one-shot.
"No," Rock answered defiantly… well, more like a stubborn child.
"Why isn't he albino?" Claire muttered to herself still at a loss about her discovery, "Lots of video game and anime characters are albino, like Dante, Sparda, Gintoki, Vicious-"
"None of them are albino!" Rock yelled, answering her whining after looking up from his Pokedex.
"-Inu Yasha, Seshoumaru, Bakura, Steiner-" Claire continued to wallow.
"We just checked with him!" he yelled again.
"Ayame, Illpalazzo, and Mugen…"
"That last one doesn't even have white hair…" Jill informed the blonde.
"Well then," Claire said, suddenly turning from sad to happy. "At least we now know the truth: Steiner is an albino. We are all now at ease."
"But… he isn't albino…"
References:
Devil May Cry- Dante, Vergil, Sparda
Gintama- Gintoki
Cowboy BeBop- Vicious
Inu Yasha- Iny Yasha, Seshoumaru
Yugioh- Bakura
Fruits Basket- Ayame
Excel Saga- Illpalazzo
Samurai Champloo- Mugen