By: Toxiclove818
Chapter 1
Beep, beep, beep
What the? Where am I? Are there more?
I promptly opened me eyes to view as to where I am. And to my surprise tears ran down my eyes as I opened them. I blinked a few times in confusion as to why there were tears. Even in my sleep I was in despair.
I sat straight up and looked around me briefly. I was back in my room. Am I still stuck in the dream world or am I really in reality? Then again I felt the pain in my body as I got up. I'm guessing that I really am in reality. In fact the pain was still there. My arms, my legs, my chest, even my head hurts. I guess I over did training.
Training for what you ask? Nothing. I am training for nothing. I only do this to release my anger. Training helps me calm down. Ever since the incident, I have been training hard. Teaching myself the basics then daring myself to do more. But I didn't only train hard, I studied hard as well. I was angered at myself for neglecting my mom. I want to follow my mother's dream to me. To be able to graduate. So I studied as hard as I can.
Not soon after, I was already at the top. I was fortunate enough to not be in the same class as the others. Speaking of the others. The day after my mother died they visited me frequently but they soon stopped. They just gave up on me. It has been years since we last talked to each other face to face. Hopefully this year would be the same.
That's right. Today is the first day back to that hell hole of a school. I turned to my still beeping clock and saw that it was too early for me to get up. Then I wondered: Why did I set my alarm clock so damn early? I shook my head and set aside that little problem that isn't worth my thoughts. I grabbed the peace breaker and threw it across the room and it smashed to the wall, the sound quickly fading. Luckily the smash wasn't that loud.
"Piece of shit." It could be that my shitty alarm clock is broken or I really did set it this early in the morning, either way, my statement refers the two. The alarm clock and I are a piece of shit.
I am one, a piece of shit that is. If I weren't one, I would have saved mom, I would have told Rika. But no. Because of my stubbornness, cowardliness, impatience and the other things that make me who I was. I didn't do anything but walk away.
I am trying though. Even though I call myself nothing, I don't want to leave this world just yet. I don't want to be like those others who tried killing themselves just so they could escape their problems easily. That's the cowards way. My mother lived in this world to take care of me and make me a better person. I wouldn't want to end it just yet.
And yet, despite my efforts on making myself a better person, there is still something stopping me for doing so. I could never figure out what it is though. Every time I try, it pills me back and I return to being depress. It tortures me.
Not being able to have fun, to gain friends, to being a teen. My guess though is that the incident gave me a great deal of depression, anger, confusion and other dark emotions overwhelmed my happiness, bravery and my innocents.
The tears once again daring to come out. I clutched my fist, forcing my tears not to come. I needed a walk to get these thoughts out of my system.
I stood up and walked directly to the bathroom. I rinsed away all the dirt and sweat from my body, not liking the cold water. After my shower, I dried myself and change to my usual clothes. Black. long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror, checking if I looked decent enough to go outside.
I no longer wear those ridiculous goggles. I smirked at myself, remembering that I wore them as a child. I really looked stupid back then. I didn't even know why I wore them. All we did was play the card game. We weren't really like those characters from the show. We were just a bunch of wannabe kids.
I shook my head for the umpteen time. I really need to sort out my head.
I got my MP3, headphones and my keys then I got out of my room. I was careful while I was going down. I didn't want to wake up dad. As I arrived down stairs, I plugged my headphones in my MP3 and clicked play. I placed my MP3 in my pocket and my keys on the other pocket. I grabbed my shoes and quickly tied my them up. As I was about to leave the house, my eyes caught something from the table near the door. I got near to it and inspected what it was.
I saw my phone and a note next to it. I couldn't read the note properly because it was too dim to see. So I made a little spotlight, using my phone to help me read. The note read:
I'm giving you back your phone but please, make right decisions today.
-Dad
The reason why my phone got confiscated was because I was almost arrested. It was just last week. One day I was walking about in the city until I heard grunting noises from an ally. I checked out what was going on and I saw Spencer (Who is one of my schoolmates) beating up Kenta. Even though I didn't want any part of Kenta and the rest, I still need to save him. Plus, I hate Spencer. Basically, Spencer is your typical 'jock', if you put it stereotypically. His mother and father are minted. They have they're own family business, that's why they're rich. The reason why I hate him is because he beats people up so things go his way.
I didn't know why he was beating up Kenta but I didn't have any time to think about it. I just rushed in and just punched him. I didn't punch him that hard, so while I was helping Kenta up, somehow he got a weapon and tried to hit me. Thanks to my training though, my reaction time improved. So I was able to doge just in time. Let's just say when the cops arrived, they didn't like what they saw.
I was brought to the police station and was investigated. Spencer, got off with just a warning. Why you ask? Because, one, he looked worser than me and two, his parents 'bought' his freedom. So I was stuck there with the cops bitting me. Luckily though, Kenta told the truth, so I was let out a warning as well. I quickly left the station, so that I wouldn't have any interaction with Kenta. But I didn't left hell yet. When I got home, my father threw a fit at me. He didn't bother grounding me, because he knew that wouldn't help. So he thought, of what he thinks is the next best thing. He got my phone. It didn't bother me at all. I never usually use my phone. So maybe that's why he gave it to me early.
I shook my head again and cleared all those thoughts away. I placed the note back to where I got it and placed my phone in my pocket with my keys.
As I opened the door to my house, I could see that the sun was just rising. The streets were empty which was fortunate for me. I never liked crowded places.
I closed and locked the door to my house, then I started walking after that. I really had no sense of direction on where I was going. I was just walking. The music blaring my ears as I walk. Oddly enough, the next song that played related me in a way. The song was 'Perfect World' by Simple Plan
I never could have seen this far
I never could have seen this coming
Seems like my world is falling apart
Before all of this happened, I never really saw what could come. I knew that, back then, the odds of Rika returning my feelings were low but I never knew that she would love another person. I never could have predicted that my mother would die. Everything is just falling apart.
I used to think that I was strong
Until the day it all went wrong
I think I need a miracle to make it through
Back then, I thought that I could handle anything. I could face through life no matter hard it throws at me. Until the day it happened. I just broke down. All those pain, those despair, I don't think that I could go back to my old self, even thou, I try as I must.
I wish that I could bring you back
I wish that I can turn back time
'Cause I can't let you go
I just can't find my way
Mom, I wish I could bring you back. I wish I was still friends with them but it's so hard. The thing that stopping me is making me hate them. Is it because they abandoned me, so I hate them? I just don't know. I just can't seem to find my way.
In a perfect world
This could never happen
If this world were perfect. Non of these, would have happened.
I suddenly stopped in my tracks as I saw where I was. I was where everything started. Where we all met. I was in the park, right in front of the shed we found a long time ago.
This place was important to me. We used to hang out here everyday. We would play the card game, bring snacks and just basically, hang out.
I wanted to come inside. I really wanted to. But I was too afraid. I was scared that I would just break down.
I just stood there and stare at the shed. There was no expression in my face. I didn't know what to feel in all honestly. Do I feel sad, because I miss it? Do I feel angry, because I ruined it all? Or do I feel happy, because I remember all the happy things? I really didn't know.
One thing is for sure though, I needed to snap out of it. So I did. I grabbed my phone and checked what time it was. If only I had a wrist watch. I saw the time and it seems like I need to go to school now. It surprised me that I walked for a long time.
I needed to go to school now. I didn't want to be late for the first day. My pace was more quick then before. And not long after, I was in the school grounds.
As I got there, I went straight to the office to check what my classes and who will be my classmates. I really wish that I wasn't with the same class as the others.
When I arrived at the front desk, the secretary gave me my schedule and she let me looked at who would be my classmates.
It was in a clear folder, so the students could easily find what they were looking for. The first page was homeroom. I scanned the list carefully, wishing non of them were there. My eyes widen as I continued scanning.
Why does the world hate me? Why did I ask that? Well some idiot placed me with the same class as everyone. And when I mean everyone, I meant the others. All of them. It doesn't stop there. I scanned the other subjects and each of it, disappointed me.
Why? Why me?
Tl: Hello there! Finally, I updated this! Sorry for the wait. I have no excuse. Really, I don't have one. All I can say is sorry. Hopefully this pays back all your wait. I also hope that this time (in the next chapter) I will update fast. I doubt that though. I have school starting up next week, so I'm just going to work this out. And yes, I have school. Here in my country school starts at June. Umm... What else?... Oh yeah! Please give me your feed back so far. It would really help me improve to know what you think. Am I doing it right or wrong? Is my grammar okay? I don't know. Just let me know, what's up. That's all I can say for now. Stay tune for more! I have a lot of rukato one-shots in my head, so be a look out for that. If you have any questions, just ask me. I will see when I see you. Ja ne!
"I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking into the past but only looking at the future."
-LaToya Jackson