Disclaimer: Thank you, C.S. Lewis.

Rated: T for intensity.

Pevensie Ages: Lucy 19, Edmund 21, Susan 23, Peter 24.

Enjoy!

***

Susan sought out her elder brother's counsel almost as soon as he came home.

She hated to do it. Both Peter and Edmund were mostly uninjured; bruised and cut up, perhaps, but not truly injured. Edmund had fallen hard on his knee and favored it when he walked. Peter had been struck in the back by a Minotaur (doubtless remnants of Jadis's army… they were still finding them, after all these years) and was obviously uncomfortable. But neither was seriously hurt. And Lucy's timely warning had allowed them to vanquish the Minotaur gathering before it had a chance to rally. As a result, the struggle was much shorter than it might have been, and few challengers escaped the Narnian army. The Kings had managed a quick victory with few losses.

But they were tired. Winning battles made Narnia stronger, but so many years of fighting for their lives had made Susan's brothers fall into a pattern: throw every ounce of strength and skill into surviving, then succumb to exhaustion once safely home. Peter in particular, the Queen knew, would likely sleep for a full day if given the chance. She and Lucy could come and go in his rooms while he slept, bringing flowers, smoothing quilts, or simply watching him in silent thankfulness, and he would never wake. It was a disconcerting habit that she had finally reconciled herself to. Normally Susan would do everything in her power to get Peter to eat a good meal, take a hot bath, and then go straight to bed.

So she regretted having to catch at the High King's arm as he slowly rose from the dinner table, and murmur to him, "I must speak with you alone."

Peter looked at her in mild surprise, then turned his head to glance at the two younger Pevensies. Lucy was helping Edmund to his feet, a look of concern fluttering over her face when he put weight on his obviously sore knee and winced. Lu hastened to stand by his side, and Ed leaned heavily on her shoulder. But more from affection than from need, Susan realized a moment later, when she saw him smile haphazardly at his little sister. The elder Queen tugged at Peter's arm gently.

"Very well," said the High King, leading Susan away from the dining room. He asked no questions, but strode with her down the hall that led to the four sovereigns' private quarters, and down a short flight of steps to his study. Once the door had been shut, he gestured for Susan to have a seat. "Now, Sister, what troubles you? For I can see by your face that this is a matter of no little import."

The Queen gave a short, unhappy laugh and began fiddling with the paperweight on Peter's desk. "Indeed it is not, Brother." She frowned, and ran her capable fingers over the surface of the weight. "Lucy," she said slowly, "has told me that Aslan wants her to join you and Edmund in battle."

Peter drew a sharp breath, and his face went tight, but he remained silent.

"She wanted to go after you two, the day of the attack, but I forbade it. It's a good thing I did, Peter. When I was combing her hair I found out that she'd been struck in the head-"

Peter gasped in alarm and leapt for the door.

"She's alright," Susan said hurriedly, setting down the weight and holding her hands out to her brother. "I made her take some of the cordial."

The King took her hands and sat heavily down on the edge of his desk. "Good," he murmured, relief clear on his face.

Seeing Peter so exhausted and anxious made Susan feel even more wretched for having kept him from his rest. "She's fine, Peter," she repeated. "But for this business about joining the army."

Peter shook his head. "I've seen it coming."

"But Lu has never wanted to fight! She said so herself."

"No," said Peter in a quiet, thoughtful voice. "But she has a warrior's spirit about her. And I believe she would do whatever was necessary to protect Narnia." He sighed and put his hands on Susan's shoulders. "I never intended to bring the subject up, you know. I thought that if Lu wanted to join the army, she would speak to me about it."

"She mentioned that," Susan admitted. "But she said… because we are sisters…"

Peter nodded. "I know. Ed and I sometimes discuss things between us before we tell you girls." He picked up the weight that his sister had been playing with. It looked so much smaller in his hands, Susan noted distractedly. Even with slumped shoulders and a weary countenance, Peter radiated strength and protectiveness. Susan had often tried to thank him for being the steady bulwark their family needed, but he always just laughed it off and hugged her, saying, "And why should I do anything but what is best for my sisters and brother?"

She was shocked, therefore, when the next words on his lips were, "Well… I suppose we shall have to talk to Oreius about Lu getting in some training…"

"Peter!" She was on her feet, horrified. "You can't be serious! You cannot let Lucy join the army!"

"I never said any such thing, did I?" Peter retorted.

"No, but you did say something about training her," Susan snapped. "Which means you do look at her as a potential member of the army, correct?"

Peter nodded tiredly. "Correct, My Lady of Logic."

"But there are more than enough soldiers!"

"Oh, hang it all, Su! That's not the point! Lu feels compelled to fight. She isn't a child, you know. Letting her train is the very least I can do to dignify her request… assuming she makes it," he added.

"So you're going to let her fight?"

"I don't know yet, Susan!"

"Peter! This is no time to be indecisive! Think of what this means, to Lucy, to us. Aren't you the least bit worried about what could happen to her?" Susan demanded.

Peter's face went rigid, and he carefully put the paperweight down before turning to his sister. "Of course," he whispered. "Do you think, my Queen, that I would send our sister into the front lines? I would rather cut my own throat than do such a thing. But as it is Aslan's wish for Lucy to defend Narnia…" His voice trailed away, but he managed a grim smile. "I was thinking of putting her in with the archers. She'll be far from the height of danger, and I'll fear less for her safety there."

"Oh, you don't understand at all!" cried poor Susan. "Don't you see? It's not simply death or injury I fear for Lucy."

"No?" Peter's eyes went wide in surprise.

Susan shook her head, feeling the tears that she had been holding back begin to fall. "I fear she won't be Lucy anymore."

Her older brother stared at her for a long moment, then pulled her into his arms.

Susan buried her face against his chest. "How long will it last, Peter?" she whispered, clutching at the front of his tunic. "How long will she be the same, sweet girl if you let her go to war? I've seen you and Edmund." She tilted her chin up to look at him, at the tight lines in his face and the weariness in his eyes, at the scars of the recent battle. Even his thick blond hair seemed tired and limp, and Susan distractedly reached to brush it from his eyes. "Every year of our reign, I've watched you both. You've grown and become strong, fine men whom I am proud to call my brothers. But there is a tension about you both. A wariness, even when you are home and meant to be at ease. It is like you can never rest again." Susan shook her head. "It isn't just being King that has changed you, Peter. It is war. It is…" She swallowed, unsure if she was about to trespass on the dangerous ground of her brother's conscience. "Losing the innocence… of not knowing what it is like to kill."

Peter stood silent, his arms still linked protectively around her.

"Do you deny it?" she asked quietly.

"No, I do not." Peter shook his head. "Edmund and I have discussed this at length. I suppose we see it better in each other than ourselves."

"It saddens you to see Edmund losing that innocence you love, does it not?"

Peter nodded tightly.

"And it saddens me to think of Lucy having to know what war is really like. She's already changed too much, Peter… I can't bear to see the change this will bring about."

Susan blinked hard, recalling the ingenuous little Lucy of long ago. Too long ago. She touched the side of Peter's face, causing him to look into her eyes.

"She means to ask each of us for our blessing in this matter, my Brother. I said I would not give her mine if you did not approve it. Say you won't let her go to war, Peter. She will obey your wishes."

The High King drew back, staring at his sister. "You ask me," he said slowly, "To tell her to disobey Aslan."

The Queen straightened her back and locked eyes with him.

"I ask you," she said in a slow, deliberate voice, "to guard your sister Queen from an evil she does not completely understand. At least promise me, Peter, that you will say nothing of the so-called 'glory' of war, or 'duty,' or 'honor,' or any such words that might encourage her, until you have first told her what she would face."

Peter sighed and closed his eyes. "You may be sure I will do so, Milady."

"Immediately?" Susan pressed.

"Of course. But," He opened his eyes, looking steadily at her. "I cannot guarantee the outcome of the discussion. If Aslan-"

"I know," Susan interrupted, feeling rather worn. "We all bow to Aslan."

***

Susan and Peter entered the family's sitting room in time to catch sight of Edmund hugging their younger sister tightly, his dark head buried in her shoulder. A swift glance passed between the older two, and Susan motioned for Peter to follow her back into the hall. But Edmund, ever aware of his surroundings, looked up sharply. Susan's heart folded in on itself at the sight of her brother's face. He appeared calm, but pale, and his eyes had an overly-bright look as his fingers clenched the cloth of Lucy's sleeve. He stared wordlessly at first Peter and then Susan. Slowly, the younger man bent to kiss his sister on the top of her head, and then let her go.

Lucy looked up and followed the path of his gaze. "Susan, Peter!" she said in soft surprise. Her eyes flickered between them, taking in the tension on their faces, before settling on Peter.

He cleared his throat. "Lucy…" The he stopped, and threw a pained look at the other two.

"Come," Susan whispered, leading Edmund into the hall.

For a time they walked in silence, arm in arm, each brooding in quiet. The Cair at this hour was calm, and the creatures they encountered were full of sweet wishes for good rest, good dreams, and good health to the sovereigns. Normally Susan would have been charmed by the kind little Hedgehog who offered to bring soothing herbal teas should King Peter be unable to sleep, the Badger who faithfully turned down King Edmund's bed every evening, and the young Nightingale who could think of no better way to spend the evening than singing intricate, ancient lullabies for Queens Susan and Lucy. Edmund would have been ready to tease them with comments about how, after all these years, the faithful Animals still couldn't get over pampering their Kings and Queens to death.

Tonight their gallantry touched the core of the Queen's emotions too deeply, and she could only nod to the little Mouse who tugged at her skirts and asked in a whisper if Queen Susan wouldn't like a posy for her pillow tonight. Having received Her Majesty's approval, the little minister of kindness bowed and scampered away in delight. Edmund cast his sister a glance, and as one they turned away from the Great Hall and into one of the smaller courtyards. It was known to be a private retreat of the sovereigns, and not even their subjects' great love would intrude on them here in the starlit coolness.

Finally Edmund spoke.

"She said she talked to you first."

Susan nodded. "The day of the attack. She wanted to go after you and Peter to be a guide, but I wouldn't let her."

"Nor would we have," said Edmund gruffly. "We'd have sent her straight back to the castle with a guard and strict orders not to leave her room."

"As if she would have stood for such a thing," Susan giggled. She was surprised to find that she could actually laugh.

Her brother was startled, too. But he smiled and took a firmer grip on her arm. "Lu has always done what she thought was right. But she's not one to disobey a direct order. I told her I wouldn't approve of such a thing if Peter didn't. And Peter…" his voice trailed away.

"Has always done what he thought was right," Susan finished, soft despair in her tone.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Edmund said hollowly.

Susan swallowed. "I think he means to give her his blessing, Edmund."

Her brother turned his head away, but Susan felt the quiver that ran through him at her words. She turned to press her forehead against his shoulder.

"So," she said after a moment, her voice tight, "What shall we do if he says yes?"

"What do you mean, Su?"

"Neither of us has promised Lucy our blessings," Susan said patiently. "She won't go if all three of us are not in agreement."

Her brother stared at her, dark eyes wide. "Why Susan! Do you really think our opinions will keep Lucy from doing what Aslan tells her to?"

"Why not? We're her siblings! We know what's best for her."

"Do we?" Ed raised an eyebrow at his sister.

"Of course we do!"

"And what is that?"

Susan shook her head in frustration. "What's best for Lucy is whatever will keep her safe. Whatever will keep her happy and healthy and alive."

Edmund nodded slowly. He tipped his head back for a moment, and studied the night sky. "Look, Su. See The Leopard?"

Susan followed the line of his outstretched arm to the constellation, hanging low in the Narnian heavens, and nodded. "Yes, I see."

"Is it not amazing," said Edmund softly, "To think that such beauty is the result of Aslan's good pleasure? That he could create the awesome mountains and the unfathomable seas, and still think of such a lovely thing as pictures in the sky…" He shook his head in wonder. "It still astounds me, Sister."

The Queen turned her gaze from the stars, and looked to her brother's countenance, drenched in pale moonlight. Edmund slowly lowered his dark eyes to hers.

"And is it not reassuring, Susan, that the one who made all of this has in his paws the power to protect our sister in battle?"

Susan groaned and sank down on a bench. "Edmund…"

"Su…" He knelt in front of her. "Don't you think Aslan can keep Lu safe? Don't you see how happy he's made her? Don't you see that he would do all in his power to preserve her?" Edmund took her hands in his, staring steadily into her face. "And do you think it is wise to deny someone who wants to do these things for her?"

"Soldiers still die, Edmund," Susan said through clenched teeth. "No matter how they cry out for Aslan's protection, they still fall. They still grow jaded, and old before their time. What makes you think our sister's fate will be any different if she goes to war?"

Edmund's face grew tight, and he wearily pulled himself up onto the bench beside her. "The brother in me can't help but agree with you, Susan. But the King in me, the servant of Aslan…" He shook his head. "No matter what happens, to Lucy, to Peter, to you, I must know that Aslan has his reasons." He tipped his head back again, staring at the sky. "And they are reason enough for me to give Lu my blessing. Provided Peter does, of course."

"You've made your decision then?" Susan asked in a tight voice.

"I'm not sure," Edmund murmured. "I know what my good sense is telling me but… it's still not easy."

***

They were sitting in the courtyard when they heard Peter's footsteps in the Hall.

Edmund got to his feet hurriedly, clutching Susan's hand. Despite his confident words earlier, she knew that he was just as nervous as she over Peter's decision. There was still a chance, after all, that Lucy might be swayed by the High King's authority. And Peter, Susan was sure, was not at all reconciled to the idea of his baby sister fighting in any war. If it were simply that, Susan was sure her brother wouldn't even consider letting Lucy fight, grown woman though the youngest royal was. But Aslan… Aslan complicated the whole thing… The Queen bit her lip as her elder brother appeared in the door, a strong, tall silhouette against the bright torchlight.

But as soon as she saw Peter's face, Susan knew.

Edmund knew it too. Susan felt his hand clench her fingers convulsively as he spoke in a somber voice. "You said yes?"

Peter nodded and strode toward them. He said nothing, but a look passed between the brothers, and then Edmund stepped aside, allowing Peter to take a seat on the bench beside his sister. The High King took Susan's hand. Slowly, she pulled her fingers from his grasp and shook her head. Peter seemed to understand.

"It wasn't an easy decision, you know," he said gently.

Susan stared down at her hands in her lap, saying nothing.

"I won't let her go until I'm convinced she can defend herself," Peter tried again. "She has months of training ahead of her, Susan. She needs to learn something of swordsmanship, and to improve her horseback riding-"

"Philip will take care of her," Edmund interjected. "There's none better to teach her than that Horse."

Peter nodded. "And of course," he said softly, "She'll need the best archer in Narnia to teach her the finer points of handling a bow."

Susan jerked to her feet, blue eyes snapping. "I am not going to take part in this," she hissed. "I don't approve of it, and I'm not going to condone it by participating!"

"Susan, be reasonable," Edmund pleaded. "Lu's the least likely person to get hurt in a battle. She's too tiny to make a good target, for one thing. And she's got the cordial, should anything-"

"I've ordered her not to take the cordial with her," Peter interrupted.

Susan's mouth opened wide in a soundless cry of shock, staggered that her brother could be so rash.

"Peter!" Edmund gasped.

"Hear me," the King said quickly. "I have my reasons. It is meant to be an incentive to her. I don't want Lu to take any unnecessary risks. She'll be less likely to try anything foolhardy without that cordial around-"

"That's never stopped you two fools from risking life and limb!" Susan snapped out. "What makes you think Lucy will be any different?"

Her brothers paled and shared a glance, but were silent.

She made a sound of disgust. "Well, I'll tell you then. It won't be any different. If anything, it will be worse, because Lucy is so driven by love for Narnia and Aslan, a love that is almost a passion. And there you have it." The Queen pressed her lips together in a tight line. "Lucy would die for Narnia, cordial or no cordial, Peter Pevensie."

The High King was very quiet. "I know," he said at last.

"You know," Susan repeated flatly. "You know and yet you said yes?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

The High King sighed. "Because it is her right."

Susan threw her hands up in the air. "She hasn't any right at all! Aslan has ordered her to do this! She's had no choice whatsoever-"

"Susan, sit down," said Edmund.

"- and yet all three of you act as if this is the most natural thing in the world! Lucy going to war – to war, Peter!" the Queen shouted, thoroughly forgetting herself. "You know what war is like, you know what it is to kill, you know what it is to see soldiers die, you know-"

"Yes I know!" Peter suddenly yelled back, rising to face his angry sister. "I know, Susan, what it is like to watch good beings go to their deaths! I know what it is like to watch my beloved brother grow expert in the practice of slaying foes." He grabbed Edmund's shoulder tight, casting him a pained glance. He looked to the Queen, and shook his head. "I know, Sister. I fear as you do. But Lucy is a free Narnian."

"Susan," said Edmund gently, "It will be worse for Lucy if we deny her this."

"How could it possibly be worse?" Susan snapped.

"By forcing her to choose between Aslan and us! Don't you see? It will tear her apart!"

"He's right, Su," Peter spoke up. "Lucy will lose heart if we don't let her do this."

"I'd rather she lose heart a little than lose her life!" Susan retorted.

"Really, Susan?" Ed raised his brows at her. "Have you any idea what that would mean? I fear she'd never get over such a thing. That the fire in her heart would fade, and her with it."

Exhausted, Susan gave a little cry of defeat. She flopped back down on the bench and put her face in her hands.

"And do you know," said Peter's quiet voice, "What that would do to her?"

"What?" asked Susan wearily.

Her brother tapped his finger under her chin. Reluctantly, Susan looked up into his face. Peter searched her reproachful eyes, kindness and resolve in his expression.

"What I fear," he said firmly, "Is that forcing her to deny Aslan would make her so unlike herself that she would be unrecognizable to us." He paused, then quoted Susan's own words back to her:

"I fear she won't be Lucy anymore."

To Be Continued

***

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your beautiful reviews of Chapter 1 and some really lively PM's as well! I'm glad people are liking this, because it was a joy to write... especially this chapter! The individual conversation Susan has with Peter in the study is my personal favorite.

This is set a few years before HHB, obviously, which gives Lu plenty of time to train in the ways of battle.

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoyed... The concluding chapter will be up this weekend.