A/N: Like I said, in the note before Harmon Rabb, Jr will be mentioned in the story which by this means that there will be references to the crossover episodes "Ice Queen" and "Meltdown" when NCIS was introduced for the first time to us.
Previously on: "Stop fooling Yourself"
He then saw Ducky coming out of the elevator, and he seemed slightly agitated. Their M.E. stopped a few inches from him and look at him seriously before saying, "We've got to do something for Jethro and Abby."
Tony smiled as well as Timmy. And they both answered Dr. Mallard in unison. "We're working on it."
Ducky looked at both men questioningly. In answer they both pointed out toward the screen. The NCIS medical examiner went closer to the screen as asked what he was looking at, just to make sure he understood what his eyes were looking at.
Tim explained everything to Ducky before Tony told him what Ziva at told him and the older man laughed at that and said. "Yes, they will renew their vows indeed."
Chapter Two
Abby was walking slowly along the black granite wall, incurved with the names of those who had perished during Vietnam War. She still couldn't believe there were so many losses. 58,621 names, two walls and lots of tears. Too many lives abruptly ended.
"Abby, why are we here?" Ziva asked her.
"I didn't know where else to go. I didn't know what else to do, Ziva. I needed to be away from everything, and..."
"From Gibbs..." Her friend finished for her.
The forensic scientist looked down at her gloved hands. "Yes away from Gibbs." She confessed to Ziva.
"Abby?" Ziva started, waiting for her friend to look at her.
When she didn't look up, she called her name again. "Abby look at me." She demanded.
The emerald eyes finally looked at her then. They were shinning with unshed tears.
Stunned agent David placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. This was the prove that like they all thought, Abby had been more affected by Gibbs' actions of the last few weeks and months than she would have admitted it. And this wasn't like her, Abby showed her emotions in public, to her friends, to her family she never kept anything inside, it was her was to deal with everything that was going around her.
Which made her wonder why Abby was acting so differently this time.
"Why? Why didn't he trust us?"
It took a moment for Ziva to understand what Abby referred to. "I'm rather inclined to think, he didn't trust himself anymore, Abby. He's been through a lot and, well things didn't quite turn as he's expected them to. I think he was disappointed in the NAVY, but mostly he was disappointed in himself. Because he thought he could have done more to prevent the events from happening. I retired to Mexico because he felt he couldn't face the team anymore. It wasn't us he didn't trust, Abbs, it was himself."
"You mean, he chose the easy way and ran. Except there is no running from your problems, Ziva, their run after you. They don't magically disappear because you walk away."
"I know, Abby, but sometimes, it's the only choice you have to protect ourselves."
"Maybe but I can't help feeling that he has abandoned me... us, Ziva." Abby told her as her right hand absently caressed the letters on the granite wall.
Cold that's the first word that came on the forensic scientist's mind, before she realized the sensation was the same in her heart, it felt cold, since the day Gibbs had left. She thought the sensation would've been gone by now, he was back after, but if anything the sensation of coldness in her heart felt even stronger.
"Abby..." Ziva started, but the NCIS lab rat stop her with her index finger gently placed on her lips.
"I know what you are trying to do, and I think it's very sweet of you, but there is no use. You can't stop the cold feeling that has set in my heart, can you?"
Ziva sighed heavily almost in defeat. This wasn't going to be as easy as she thought he would. She watched as Abby turned her eyes on the wall so she could see the letter incurved on her fingertips. When the name revealed itself as she slowly moved her fingers from the name, she gasped and her eyes filled with tears.
"Abby? What's wrong?"
She asked first thinking it was because of something she had said about Gibbs, but then she realized it must have been the name on the wall she was staring at, at that very moment.
"It's the name of Captain Harmon Rabb, Jr's father." She whispered.
"Harmon Rabb, Jr?" Ziva questioned.
Abby slowly nodded her head, it was way before you joined us at NCIS, way before Director Sheppard. We met him because he was accuse of the murder of Lieutenant... Singer, I think her name was. Gibbs hated him, he didn't have to say so. One look at him and you could see that for Gibbs he was guilty. One of the only times, I know, his face was easy readable."
That made the woman who was listening frown. Gibbs was not the kind of man to have a judgment on anybody before he knew them, or had investigate them.
The forensic scientist smiled at her and explained, "Captain, Harmon Rabb, Jr, is a JAG lawyer..."
The words explained why Gibbs at reacted the he did then. Gibbs hated lawyers.
Abby continued then, "Luckily for Harm, you was still Commander at the time, Gibbs is driven by the call of Justice and he was never give up until of finds out the all truth."
It didn't escape Ziva that Abby had use a pet name, and that probably meant she knew him well enough. That didn't surprise her unduly. Abby made friends with everyone.
"The Captain didn't kill the Lieutenant?" She asked curious.
"No, he did not. Harm's no a cold blooded killer. He was framed, by Lt. Theodore Lindsey. A poor imbecile who could live with the idea that Harm got promoted while he considered he was the one who should have had it."
"But why kill this Lieutenant... Singer then. Don't tell me, he chose to kill her just like that to frame the Rabb?"
Abby was about to reply when another voice did it for her.
"No. Lindsey had an affair with Lt. Loren Singer. She was pregnant and Lindsey thought he was the father of her baby and he didn't want to risk her telling everything to his wife..."
"I wasn't the father then?"
This time, Abby answered. "No, he wasn't. Lindsey took a life and chose to jeopardized everything he had for nothing. He could have saved her when she hit her head on the railing, but he thought that it might be better for him to have her dead, not thinking that this decision would actually have the opposite effect than what he wanted to achieve." She said looking at Gibbs.
At her last words, Gibbs at the impression that she wasn't talking about Lindsey, but instead was referring to him. The NCIS team knew then that he had to talk to her in one way or another she had to make understand that the decision he made to retire and go to Mexico had nothing to do with her. Or any of them. She had to, he needed to clear the air with her...
Damn Gibbs you should have thought things more thoroughly before leaving to pay Mike Franks a visit. He realized when he saw the hurt in her usually so expression and joyful emerald he loved so much.
He had sworn to himself to protect her and be sure she would never get her by anyone, well he failed miserably at his mission, because he was the one who caused her biggest pain right now. Why hadn't he seen it? Simply because he chose not to see it when it was there. He didn't want to see it, because he wanted to leave. Leave everything behind and run, run from everything he had become.
Gibbs suddenly realized that all he had been doing was fooling himself, he had been lying to himself for weeks months, because nothing could change or erase the past. No matter how much we would love to. It just a part of what makes us uniquely us. Mistakes and all. Gibbs sighed heavily as he looked at Abbs, the woman who had in spite of himself find a way to his heart.
She was looking at him, and what she say in his icy blue eyes make her heart break into a billion pieces. She realized then and there that she had hurt him as much as he had hurt her, and that is something she couldn't bear, she had to do something so the hurt would vanish from his beautiful eyes. She felt her own eyes feel with fresh tears.
They needed to talk.
Abby looked at Ziva who nodded simply.
"If you need anything just call, okay?"
A smile caressed Abby's lips in response. And she watched the latest member of their team walk away. The forensic scientist had the impression though that she wouldn't be going far away...
000
Gibbs walked slowly closer to Abby who watched him approach, her heart raising. She felt nervous for some reason. This conversation would make them or break them, but whatever the outcome would be, it was going to be live changing, of that she was sure.
Gibbs stopped as he was standing a mere inch away from her. He didn't say anything, she didn't either, they looked at each other for a long moment, before he reached out and pulled her toward him in a fierce hug. She hugged him back just with the same intensity. Abby finally let her tears fall freely then. Her body shaking against his. He didn't say a word, he just held her tight has he leg his chin rest on the top of her eyes. He was fighting to keep his own emotions at bay.
This wasn't like him, he didn't know why he had so much difficulty to hold his own feelings inside like he could do it so well normally. Was it because he was finally able to hold her back in his arms again? Was it the place where they were standing? He had no idea and he didn't care what mattered was that he had his Abby back in his arms.
Wait a minute... His Abby? Since when had she become his in his mind?
She wasn't his. She was no one's.
"I miss you," he murmured, and she could feel his chin move slightly on the top of her head as he said the words.
When her body stopped shaking from all the crying she pulled away from him, to looked at him and told him in a shaking voice still full of sobs. "I missed, you, too."
A soft smiled appeared on his lips when he looked at her puffy face, and rimmed red eyes.
"I think, it's time for us, to talk, don't you think?"
She smiled at him through her teary eyes and you nodded her head positively.
"Where do you want to go?" He asked her then.
Abby hunched her shoulder a little, and said, don't know. "I don't really care as long as I'm with you." She told him.
Gibbs smiled at her and, he pulled her to him again in another tight hug. He marveled at how good it felt to hold her in his arms. He had missed the contact of her body against his during the time she'd refused to talk to him or even see him. Why is it that you only realize what you miss in your life when it's gone? Life had definitely strange way to make you see that, though.
Mike had tried to make him understand that, during the time he was with him in Mexico, but as usual Gibbs hadn't listened. Of course he hadn't listened why would he? Everyone knew that NCIS special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was as stubborn as a mule.
000
In silence at first they started to walk together, Gibbs had is arm right arm around her shoulders. They walked like this in silence for a few minutes enjoying their renewed closeness when Gibbs broke the silence. He was determined to know exactly what he had done to make that much hurt shine in her eyes earlier so he asked.
"Abbs, why were you so upset about me even after I got back?"
Gibbs felt her shoulder tense up under his arm at his question. Abby looked at her moving feet as she answered him. "It felt to me as if you betrayed me, Gibbs, when you chose to leave us, me, behind."
"Ziva basically told you everything." He responded.
Abby wasn't surprised that Gibbs had heard that conversation between herself and Ziva. But still she want to hear the words from him mouth and she wanted to know what made him come back.
"I want you to tell me, Gibbs, I want to hear the words from you."
The stopped walking then, he turned himself so that they were standing in front of each other now and sigh heavily before he explained the reason why he quit his job at NCIS.
"I was scared, Abbs. I had the impression I couldn't control anything anymore. Leaving seemed the best thing to do for me at that time, now I realized how stupid that decision was, but back then it was the safest for me."
"Running away is never a solution, Gibbs, 'cause the problems keep following you." She said looking at him.
"I know." He said as he took a step closer to her so he could lean his forehead against hers. He smiled then and said, "I need to stop fooling myself about my 'retirement' and call my actions by their real names. I quit, and it was one of my two biggest mistakes in the last few months..."
"What's the second one?" She asked in a low curious voice.
Gibbs hesitate a moment, but decided to go for the truth. "Walking away from you, and leaving you behind."
Abby felt her eyes watering at his words, and placed her arms around him and tugged him to her. "I should have told you from the start what was going on. I acted like a child, I'm sorry."
"It's alright, Abbs, we're good again." he told her softly as he held her close to him.
"Can I ask you, something?"
"Hmmm Humm"
"Why did you come back?"
"Officially it's because of the director, because she pointed some things out to me, that I couldn't deny were true, but the real reason is..." He trailed off.
Abby pulled her head back, just enough to be able to look at him when she pressed on softly.
"The real reason is?"
"I came back for you. I missed you too much, Abby." He said looking in her shinning green pools.
"Oh," she gasped in surprise.
Gibbs leaned his head forward then and brushed his lips briefly against her red painted lips. Another smile find its way to his lips then as he said, "another thing I fooled myself about... My feelings for you.
A single tear escaped for her right eye and he caught it with his thumb. "Your feelings for me?" She repeated in a broken voice.
Gibbs nodded his head slowly, "yes, Abby, I'm in love with you." He whispered to her.
More tears escaped from her eyes then as she smiled through them.
"I'm in love with you, too." She whispered back and hugged him tightly against her, she wanted to kiss him, but out of respect of where they were standing she didn't. He wants would have to wait. After a few moments, they pulled away from one another and he intertwined his fingers with her as the slowly walked side by side.
TBC...
Thanks for reading, sorry for the mistakes. The next chapters will be posted tomorrow.