The Return

When I returned back to school after my accident everyone looked at me, they all heard... I never had a friend in the first place and now that this happened, I am a freak now, no one wants to be friends with a freak. Before school even started I made my way to my desk and cleaned the desk as well as the chair, by the time class started I was done and I sat down realizing this was going to be harder than I thought. My teacher approached me, I was getting more nervous by every step she took towards me and now she was right in front of me.

"Hey, Emma. Are you okay?" She said as she touched my arm.

I looked at her with my wide eyes, panicked, and pulled my arm quickly away, tears pooling at my eyes. My teacher of course didn't know about my disorder that I was diagnosed with, so of course she didn't know how to fix it. I sat there rocking back and forth not caring about my class mates around me who were laughing. My teacher sent me to the nurse, like she was going to help, so when I got there I told here about my OCD and why it affected me, she handed me hand sanitizer along with a pack of tissues and I made my way back to class as I sat down at my desk.

I was fine until lunch came along, I brought my lunch with grapes and such as always and sat down alone. I was okay with being alone as I looked around to all the seats seeing everyone laughing, happy, and so care free. I smiled to myself as I turned back around to my food realizing lunch was almost over. As I start packing everything back up there were several of my classmates that walked by me whispering something about me that I just blocked out. I always knew I was different even before the accident happened. I finally make my way out of the lunch room and to the restrooms, even though I dreaded it more than anything. Public restrooms always made me cringe, but I went anyway. As I walk in there are a few girls as they look and laugh at me not only for my disorder, but also for being a ginger. I walk past them and walk to a stall taking a deep breath and go about my business. As I exited the stall there was nobody there, holding up my hands all the way to the sink and turning the sink on with my elbows as I begin washing my hands. As I got done I cleaned off my hands with a paper towel when a girl walked into the bathroom, she looked familiar until I realized she was new to the school and part of my class. I smiled at her as she approached me she reached out her hand and grabbed my arm, I panicked as she pulled me and shoved me into the biggest stall. My breathing was becoming heavy and labored, I had no idea what to do so I tried pushing the door open until I realized the girl was still on the other side of the door making sure I couldn't get out. I was now crying, having a breakdown as a realized that I had hand sanitizer in my pocket, I pulled it out and put hand sanitizer in my hand then rubbed it where she touched me on my arm. My breathing was going back to normal as I cleaned where she touched me and even though I was in a bathroom stall, I just didn't touch anything until she left.

After she left I walked out of the stall and out of the bathroom acting like nothing ever happened. I felt alone of course, and I felt very emotional, but I was at school I can't cry here they always laugh. When I finally made it back to my classroom, I realized that nobody noticed I was gone. When recess came around I walked up to my teacher,

"Can I stay inside?" as I looked down and didn't make eye contact.

She looked at me and some other teacher to take the kids as she sat down with me, I don't know why she did but she did.

"Emma, what happened to you?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, but I guess I can tell you." She looked confused as I continued

"Recently I just turned, ehm, 8 and on my, ehm, birthday I went to a dairy farm with my, ehm, family. While we were there my brother pushed me into the, ehm, runoff lagoon.. I was, ehm, diagnosed with, ehm, OCD and ,ehm, Mysophobia." My teacher looked at me like I was such a freak, but she also had sympathy in her eyes for me.

"Emma, you can stay inside with me everyday, if you want that is. I can always get another teacher to take the other kids. Maybe I can help you even." Emma smiled at her and carried on.

After school I went home and all I wanted to do was cry because of how hard my day was but my parents decided we should all gather around the table and have a talk. So here we sit around the table with both of my parents, my brother, and my sister. When they were all telling about their day I spaced out and when they got to me they were yelling my name.

"Emma? Emma!"

"Oh, sorry. What now?"

"Gee, Emma, pay attention next time!" My brother yelled.

"Your day?"

"Oh, ehm, it was okay.."

"Mom, she is so boring, can we leave?" My sister said.

"No, this is family time!"

"I much rather tell you when they aren't around."

"Okay, you guys can go." Rose said.

As my sister walked by she whispered thank you.

"What's up, Emma?"

"I had one of my panic attacks today, I was pushed into a bathroom stall, and people were laughing at me."

"What did you do for your panic attack?" Rusty asked.

"I went to the nurse.. She gave me hand sanitizer."

"Oh, well at least she knew what to do."

"I guess so..."

"And the rest are you sure they were laughing at you?"

"Yes."

"Maybe it will be better tomorrow." Rose said.

After that conversation I went to my room and cried. I cried until it was bedtime and that's when I realized that God heard me better when I am on my knees because I got on my knees and prayed. After praying I got into my bed and hoped and wished for a better day the next day