It started with a 'Wouldn't it be funny if...?" And then it mutated into something like this. I'm sorry, Rika-fans. XD

Disclaimer: I'm running out of ways to say that I don't own it.

Warnings: Some swearing, crappy humour, please don't kill me.

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#2. When Rika-chan Got High

One day, a rather short, blue-haired little girl sat on the steps to the Furude shrine. Now, one would wonder how the hell could someone have natural blue hair, but that is the way of anime. Just look at Mion.

But anyway. Her name was Rika Furude. Little Rika-chan belonged to one of the Three Great Houses in a lovely, unsuspicious called Hinamizawa.

Now, since the author has no goddamn idea how old Rika is - or, she's too lazy to look it up on wikipedia - we are just going to assume that she is about the age for Episode 14, alright?

Rika had no idea what it was - despite being the fucking reincarnation of Oyashiro-sama. If she did, then this story would not exist, and we would not be discussing this right now.

So there.

Hanyuu appeared beside her. "Rika… my mysterious-cryptic-god's intuition is working up again. I think something's going to happen… Hau." She fidgeted and pulled on one of her horns, which no one seemed to notice in season two of this show. Now how do you explain that, 7th Expansion, huh?

"Oh, don't be silly, Hanyuu," Rika replied, smiling cutely. "Nippa!"

Hanyuu stayed quiet, questioning her mysterious-cryptic-god's intuition. "Hau…"

A bunch of cherry blossoms blew past them, enveloping the girls in a mysterious aura…

"Like hell," Rika muttered. "All they do is get into my unnecessarily long hair. Give up, author, you're worse than hopeless, you're desperate."

Shut up.

Rika stood up. "Come on, Hanyuu. It's time for my afternoon shot to block my abilities which make me special." She lowered her head and her voice turned all deep and past-puberty. "And I am special. My specialness is what makes me what I am, and no one can take that away from me. Not even afternoon shots. Not even shots in the afternoon. Not even injecting liquids into my bloodstream when the clock strikes the twelfth hour."

Hanyuu patted her back. "It's alright, Rika. It's alright." But even as they went into the Furude shrine, Hanyuu still felt as though something would happen - something utterly awful.

"Hello, Rika," Her mother said kindly. "Dr. Irie's here for your afternoon shots - although it is a little late." She looked at the clock worriedly. "A little… too late." A duet of violins played sinister music in the background.

Rika frowned. "What the hell is he doing here? Dr. Irie doesn't appear until four years later."

"What did you say, Rika?"

Rika smiled. "Nothing, nippa."

Dr. Irie held up a syringe. "Now, now, little Rika, if you take this shot, I'll give you a ride in my car."

Rika frowned bitterly. "I don't want a ride in your goddamn car. Now give me the shot or I'll use my powers on you."

"Isn't she cute? Now wait for me until I fill this syringe up and make sure you don't touch any of the conveniently placed liquids and tablets that I leave here in plain sight of a small child."

When Dr. Irie was gone, Rika hopped off her stool and walked over to the table where the conveniently placed liquids and tablets were. She reached up. "Damnit, 7th Expansion, I'll stop swearing if you give me my growth spurt any time soon." Rika used a fire poker - where did she get that from? - to make one of the bottles fall into her hands.
"Rika..." Hanyuu whispered. "I don't think you should drink that…"

"It's alright, Hanyuu," Rika's voice turned all deep and mysterious again. "I might as well try it before I get my shot - before I turn into one of these average humans… maybe it will prevent it…" She chugged it like she would a bottle of sake sometime in the future.

"Rika!" Hanyuu exclaimed. "Hau… hau…" She staggered drunkenly for a few seconds and fell over.

Rika coughed. "Why the hell did I do that - oh, yeah, to give this pointless story a plot." She giggled and walked around the room. "Hehe, pretty colours. Wait… what's this…?"

Everything turned a weird, glowy whitish colour and a silhouette that looked suspiciously like a girl with two horns on the side of her head appeared in front of her.

"Oh, I wonder who that is?" Rika wondered.

"I am Oyashiro-sama." The silhouette told her helpfully.

"Oh, hello!" Rika grinned. "I never thought I'd say this to you, but I thought you were all scary and stuff - you know. Not like a strange, suspiciously familiar-looking girl with horns."

"… Obviously the author of this story also forgot who Oyashiro-sama really was - and a particularly helpful reader of this story reminded her - although I don't know why there actually are readers. Don't worry," the silhouette laughed rather evilly. "The author will get what's coming soon… very soon…"

"… Alrighty then," Rika said. "What's going on here? Am I hallucinating or something?"

"Oh, you're not hallucinating. You're high."

"Really?" Rika 'nippa'ed. "My growth spurt! It's finally here!"

'Oyashiro-sama' shook her head quickly. "No, no, I mean you're high. As in what-the-heck-did-I-take-last-night high."

"Oh." Rika lowered her head, and shadows covered her eyes. "I knew it. I knew that 7th Expansion won't be this forgiving to me. But it's their fault - they should know that alcohol isn't good for small children."

Oyashiro-sama sighed. "Fine, whatever. Anyway, listen to this closely. I'm going to give you the power to predict the next consecutive deaths of my curse, alright? Got that?"

"Eh? Yeah, fine, whatever. It'll just feed on my abilities…"

"… Huh. Okay. Now when I snap my fingers, you are going to wake up and the power will be yours. And then go tell it to someone who's not a complete idiot." The strange, suspiciously familiar-looking silhouette snapped her fingers.

Rika woke up. "Wow, that must have been some heavy stuff." She stretched. "Okay, where's my shot?"

Hanyuu flew around her, hau-ing and spazzing out. "Wha-wha-what? What just happened? I just blacked out!"

"Oh, I just had a nice conversation with Oyashiro-sama - no big deal."

Dr. Irie came in, holding a full syringe. "Okay, Rika, I'm going to give you your shot now. Hold still - it won't hurt a bit."

"Yeah, yeah, that's what you said last time - HOLY SHIT THAT STINGS!"

- A few minutes later. -

"Rika, it was just a tiny sting…" Hanyuu said as they walked down the steps from the Furude shrine.

"Yes, well, you don't know what it's like." Rika rubbed her arm. "Now I'm going to go wait at a random bus stop to get ready for the actual episode."

"Hau…"

- And that was how Rika-chan gained her cool prediction abilities. -

I only have one thing to say.

DO YOU KNOW OYASHIRO-SAMA?

(XD)