From Shadows To Light
Chapter Two
Disclaimer: I do not own anything or anyone in Tolkien's world.
Author's Note: Here's an update!
Maedhros is the last one left. All his brothers have departed the Halls of Waiting. Lord Námo sits on his black throne, eyes fixed upon the fëa before him.
Maedhros dares not look the Vala in the face.
"Son of Fëanor, do you know why I have summoned you?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Long have you been in the Halls of Waiting. You have accepted correction and instruction according to your needs*. Is it your wish to be sent back into life?"
There is silence. Námo will not send anyone back who is unwilling, and Maedhros knows this. He is overwhelmed at the thought that the Vala deems him worthy of being reimbodied. He has indeed spent many ages in the Halls.
Yet the vision of Maglor by the sea haunts him still.
Is it my wish to be sent back into life?
"No, my lord."
xxx
"You refused."
Maedhros does not answer. It takes him a while to realise that his father is not surprised.
"When Lord Námo summoned your brothers, they also declined."
And yet eventually they left the Halls. When Námo summons you for a second time, you too will leave.
Maedhros hears the words as clearly as if Fëanor had spoken them aloud.
"Father, if he were to speak to you and offer you the chance to return to life, would you accept?"
There is no response from the Spirit of Fire.
xxx
Years pass in the Halls, and Maedhros' thoughts keep wandering to the family he has in Valinor: his mother, brothers, and also his grandfather Mahtan. He misses them, and he still feels a terrible guilt concerning his deeds in life. Many innocents died at his hands.
He has forgiven his father and brothers, but he has not forgiven himself. Nor has he forgotten the burn of the Silmaril in his hand, or the lonely figure of his wandering brother.
He does not speak of any of this to his sire – but Fëanor knows his firstborn better than said firstborn would like to admit.
"Do you think I do not miss your brothers? Do you think I will not miss you when you depart? You are my sons, my children, and I love you more than you could ever know. You are not the only one in these Halls with regrets! And do you seriously imagine I do not miss her?"
Maedhros tries to reply, but cannot find the words.
xxx
Once again, Maedhros is before the black throne.
"Son of Fëanor, do you know why I have summoned you?"
"Yes, my lord."
"Is it still your wish to remain in my Halls?"
Maedhros does not know if the offer will be extended to him a third time.
"Forgive me, my lord, but what of my father?"
"His time is not yet come, child, and it will not come for many years yet."
There is silence in the hall. Then Maedhros speaks again. "What of my brother Maglor?"
"Your brother wanders still. Whether he will return home or no is not for me to decide."
Once again, there is a brief silence.
"Maedhros son of Fëanor, is it your wish to be sent back into life?"
"Yes, my lord."
xxx
"You will see me again, my son. I promise you."
Maedhros cannot express his gratitude at being given the chance to say farewell to his father – yet this second time is even harder than the first.
"I know, Father, but…what of you? I do not want you to be alone."
"He will not be alone. I will stay with him."
Finwë's reassuring words send waves of relief through his grandson.
"Thank you, Grandfather."
Námo's commanding voice echoes through the Halls; it is a summons Maedhros dares not disobey. As he prepares to leave, he hears his father quietly plead with him.
"Bring him home…"
Maedhros has learned by now not to make a promise he cannot keep. He says nothing.
To be continued. Reviews are very welcome!
*J.R.R. Tolkien's Morgoth's Ring, The Later Quenta Silmarillion (II), p.222