Chapter 2:
I'm sitting in Krys's dorm right now trying to figure out how to break up with him. I feel bad because he might blame himself for everything, when really it is me. He noticed my discomfort.
"Is everything okay babe?" he asked.
"Umm..no. Not really. You see I have felt a little distant from you for the last week or so. I don't know why, but I feel like everything is forced and rutined. I don't think it is fair to either one of us to have it feel like this. I mean you should feel alive and free. It is not about the other night. Well it is, but not because of the sex. I realized when I was walking home for the first time ever spending the night over at a guys house that I was confused and scared. It was like something changed, but not because of you. I felt like I left Jake's house from 2 years ago. It isn't your fault I promise. I really, really like you, Krys. I am just not in a good place right now with my head. I need to find someone who I can feel free with and keep my head on straight. I don't want you to blame yourself. You are a great guy and did nothing wrong. That was the first time I have ever felt that way and I am confused as to why. Please try and understand. I promise that you will find a great girl that is meant to be with you. But promise me that you wont let her walk all over you," I said. I realized that it might be confusing, but that was the best I could sum all that up.
"Your breaking up with me?" he asked with a small voice. I closed my eyes and sighed trying to push away the pain and guilt that was running through my head.
"Please try to understand."
"I guess I do. We have been a little off lately. I wont blame myself I promise. But what do you want me to say? It was a fun run?"
"You could. Krys, my heart belongs to someone else and so does yours. We need to find that person and stick with them. And we never will if we are together."
"Yeah I guess your right."
"I am so sorry. I'll see you around?" I asked and he nodded and hugged me.
"Goodbye, Bella. I will really miss you."
"Bye, Krys. I'll miss you too. I will never forget you and that I can promise," he gave me a small smile and I left. When I got home I shut the door behind me and leaned against the door while letting out a sigh releasing all of the guilt.
When I opened my eyes I noticed Edward was here. I haven't seen him around in a couple days. Not since that once morning I came home looking like a mess. He looked at me with concern in his eyes.
"I just broke up with Krys," I explained while I went over to sit on his lap on the couch. I lay my head on his shoulder and can't help but think that this is where I belong.
"I'm sorry," he said and I just nodded.
"You want to know why I was crying the other day?" I asked. I never told him. Sex and sleeping over at your boyfriend's house is not something you tell to your best friend who is a boy and possibly the person you are in love with. He nodded his head telling me he did.
"I woke up and thought I was in my room. When I opened my eyes I was laying there only covered in sheets. I was so confused and scared as to where I was. When I got out of bed I got dressed and went into the kitchen to find him making breakfast. I apologized for sleeping over and he said I could whenever I wanted. I didn't like that. I wanted to run and get out of there as fast as possible. I came home looking as I did and cried the rest of the day. I didn't know why I was so upset and then it hit me. I felt like I had just returned home from Jake's house after my first. I never knew I could feel like that again until it actually happened."
"I'm so sorry Bella. Is there anything I can do?" he asked.
"No. I'll be okay. I just need a few days to figure out what is going on with my head."
"Okay," he said and kissed me on the forehead. I got up from his lap and went to the kitchen to get something to eat.
Classes had started the next day and I wasn't the wreck I thought I would be which is a good thing. I didn't run into Krys at all in the week following the break up. Thank goodness. I really could not have been that hard to get over. Tanya has been getting into a lot of fights with Edward about me. I never knew what they were specifically about until Alice told me. He stopped sleeping with her because it didn't feel right anymore. Tanya was upset and blamed everything on me of course. Each time I just rolled my eyes. I don't know why he would stop sleeping with her though. Getting laid always put me into a better mood. Only the after affect was different now, and it sucked.
I was now sitting in Edward's dorm room and watching TV. He turned the volume all the way down and looked at me.
"What?" I asked confused.
"How are you doing?"
"Good. Why?"
"Just checking on you," he said and I smiled.
"I'm fine I promise. What's this I hear about Tanya?" I asked curiously. I was allowed to ask that right? I mean I was his best friend. He rolled his eyes.
"I feel like the only thing keeping our relationship alive is the physical part of it. I told her that we should really try to act like a real couple instead of just 'sleeping' all the time if you know what I mean. She got angry with me when she found out I was serious. And then she starting blaming you," he said and shrugged.
"Wow, imagine that. Your boyfriend wants a realtionship with you and all you want is sex," I muttered under my breath. I thought he couldn't hear me, but apparently he did when I heard him laugh.
"Well, anyways, I told her I would pick her up for lunch. Want to go with us?" he asked.
"Nah, I'm good. I will see you later though. I am going to go food shopping. Need anything?"
"Nope," he said. "Thanks though. I will see you later though."
"Okay, bye," I said while walking in the other direction to get to my car.
When I steped into my car and drove I went to the nearest grocery store which was about 10 minutes away. I spent about an hour there making sure I had everything on my list and took out things that we really would never eat. I ran into an old friend and we just started talking. It was then my phone rang. It was Alice.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Bella, I need you to come home. Edward has been laying in your bed staring at the ceiling with a look of shock on his face for about an hour. His phone has been going off like crazy, but he will not answer it for anyone. I don't know what is going on and I am freaked out because he wont talk to anyone. Please hurry," she said.
"Okay, I'm on my way. I will be there in less than 15 minutes," I said and started runing to my car with the bags in my hands.
"Thank you," she said and hung up.
I started to get really worried. He was supposed to be out to lunch with Tanya right now. When I got back to the dorm I shut off my car and locked it while leaving the groceries in it. Once I got to my dorm room I gave Alice the keys and told her to unload the car. She obeyed without a word. I quickly went into my room to find Edward on my bed. In the exact postion Alice discribed. I sat down at the edge of the bed and sighed while looking at him.
"Edward?" I called his name. Nothing. I shook is arms and then his face. "Edward! What is going on?!"
He blinked out of his trance and a look of hurt filled his features.
"Hi," I said. "Would you mind explaining to me why Alice called me totally freaked out because you have been laying here without moving for the last hour?" he coughed and sat up.
"Oh sorry, I didn't realize that," he said.
"I thought you were having lunch with Tanya?"
"Yeah, I thought so to. When I went to pick her up I found her half naked straddled on top of a guy. Guess who the lucky man was?"
"Who?" I asked confused.
"Krys," I didn't know how to respond to that. So I stupidly said, "Wow."
"Yeah, I know. When I got their attention they didn't even move an inch away from each other. She gave me an apologetic smile and I stormed out of there to come back here. I had forgotten you left so I just decided to lay down until you got here."
"I'm sorry. If I would have known I would have stayed."
"I know. It's not your fault. You know what I don't get?"
"What?"
"Is how he could get over you so fast," he said.
"I'm probably the easiest person to get over. Remember somebody left me and moved to Hawaii without offically breaking up with me?" I said trying to lighten the mood and had a small smile on.
"Thats not funny," he said. Ever since he heard that story he has wanted to kill Jake.
"I know," I sighed. "But at least we, as in Krys and I, were broken up. How are you holding up?"
"I'm a little in shock. But overall okay. I was planning on breaking up with her anyway."
"Really?" I asked suprized.
"Yep."
"I'm sorry," I said again.
"Hey, don't worry about it. It isn't our fault that we dated the wrong people."
"I know, but still. You deserve so much better. I don't think there is one girl on this whole entire planet who deserves you."
"I do," he whispered, but I pretended I didn't hear him. I gave him a big hug and pulled him off the bed.
"Come on. We are going out," I said.
"Where?" he asked,
"I don't know. We need something to pull us out of our funk! What about ice skating or bowling?"
"Oh Bella, you crack me up. Umm...what about the carnival that opened last week?"
"Okay," I said excited. I told Alice to call if she needed anything.
We spent the entire rest of the day playing games and eating cotton candy. When we rode the spinning tea cups we almost got sick, but it was fun so we laughed anyway. It became dark out and we went down to the beach that connected to the carnival. We got a couple burgers and fries to have for dinner. When we finished that I got up to throw our trash away.
I pulled him off from the ground with my hand and he held it while we walked. I never wanted this day to end. Everything felt so natural and right. Nothing was forced like in my previous relationships.
"Feeling better?" I asked as we walked down the side of the beach. The sun was about ready to set.
"No," he said and I frowned. He then proceeded to pick me up and throw me over his shoulder. He knows how afraid I am of ocean water and decided it would be funny to run towards it. I was screaming and laughing at the same time and people were watching with amused faces.
"Put me down! You better not go in the water!!" I yelled. He went in about a foot into the water and stopped. He then put me down and I freaked out thinking there were fishes on me. He laughed at me and I glared and tackled him to the ground. Our feet were wet and cover in sand as we proceeded to roll around.
I looked up from his chest, me on top, and met his eyes. We had a kind of awkward and romantic moment and then I broke it by getting up to run toward our shoes.
We left the beach and I couldn't stop thinking about our 'moment'. When we were halfway back none of us had spoken a word.
"Thank you," Edward said suddenly. I was confused.
"For what?"
"Making this the best day ever, even when it started out as the worst," he said.
"That is what best friends are for," I said and it hurt a little bit. I don't want to be just his friend. We were quiet for another couple minutes and he fired conversation again.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
"About how much fun today was," I said. It wasn't totally a lie. Our little moment was part of today. He just nodded and leaned back in his seat. He fell asleep on the way home.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't carry Edward, but I certainly didn't want to wake him. I decided that waking him would be the best way to go.
"Edward," I said as I shook him and his eyes shot open. He groaned.
"Sorry, but we just got back from the carnival or beach whatever you want to call it. Come on, you can sleep in our room tonight," I said and he nodded and got up.
"I didn't dream that?"
"No," I said while laughing.
"Hmm..well I guess that is a good thing."
"Yep," I said as I entered the room. I brought him to my bed and took off his shoes. I could let him have my bed for the night.
"You can sleep in here tonight. I'll go on the couch," I said and was about to leave the room when he said something to me.
"Don't leave," he said. It broke my heart to how helpless he sounded. I said I would stay, but only until he fell asleep. It turns out I fell asleep at the same time he did. Right when I got into his arms.
I woke up the next morning to Alice busting into my room. It was then the first time I was aware that I had just slept in the same bed with Edward for the first time. He was laying on his back with his arm wrapped protectively around me and I was laying on my stomach with my head on his shoulder.
When Alice came in it scared both Edward and I and we jumped and woke up.
"Alice, what are you doing?" I asked as I groaned and rolled over so I was on my pillow. I instantly missed being in his arms.
"Well, I came to see if you and Edward wanted to go to breakfast. I didn't know he slept here last night. I was going to have you call him," she said with an amused tone.
"Hey, Edward. Do you want to go to breakfast?" I asked to taunt Alice. He laughed tiredly and Alice scowled.
"I would love to go to breakfast, Bella. Who are you calling for again?" he asked keeping up the charade.
"Oh, you know. The usual person," I said and Alice huffed and left the room. I laughed at her little rant. "Snaps," I said while holding up my hand for a high five. It is from the movie Step Brothers in case you were wondering.
He smacked my hand lazily and said, "Still hate you."
"Still hate you, too," I said and laughed to get out of bed. I went into the bathroom and looked at my hair. It was a mess!
"What, do you shake the bed at night or something? Seriously I have never had this bad of bedhead," he laughed at what I said.
"No, but you do. Did you know that you talk in your sleep and move your feet constantly?" he asked.
"Yes, I am very aware of it. My mother has had to wake me up in the middle of the night because apparently I went outside and started screaming her name in the middle of the night."
"Seriously?" he asked.
"Yep."
"So you sleep walk to?"
"Occasionally."
"What am I going to do with you?" he asked and I laughed.
"I don't know."
"Look, your not upset because a man slept in the same bed as you," he joked. I looked out my bathroom door and glared at him.
"Shut it," I said and he snickered and got out of bed. We were both still fully dressed from last night. Yesterday's events came swirling back into my mind. Edward. Holding my hand on the beach. Rolling around in sand. Best day of my life so far.
Edward went back to his room to shower and get dress and I did the same here. When we got to breakfast everyone had already ordered. We just took bits and pieces from everyone seeing as we were full from all of the cotton candy. And I didn't want to mention that my stomach was already full. Of butterflies.
"So guys," Alice was talking to everyone, but Edward and I. "Guess who I walked in on this morning?" I knew that she would find a way to get me back!
"Please don't tell me it was Krys and Tanya again. That is not a pretty sight," Emmett groaned. I tried to hold back laughter at this because Edward was still hurt by her.
"NO! It was Edward and Bella! They were sleeping in Bella's room with Edward's arm wrapped around her and she was laying on his shoulder," Alice said. I am definantely considering killing her later unless I die of humiliation first.
"Ahww," Rose said and Edward and I looked down and blushed.
"She forgot to mention the part that we were fully dressed," I said and everyone got the memo to shut it.
The rest of breakfast was quiet and awkward. I have no idea what yesterday was. I sure hope it wasn't just best friends being just that. I want more with him. This I am sure of. We belong together and I know that he knows this. I just haven't figured out if he is aware of it yet.