I don't own anything CM related.

Chapter 1

"So..." a boy in the front seat sized up Reid, who stood at the front of the classroom. "You're the new chemistry teacher?"

"Yes, your previous teacher is currently on maternity leave." Reid replied. He resisted the urge to fiddle his fingers in front of the students. Morgan advised him earlier that it was best not to squirm or appear timid. "Call me Mr. Reid."

"Mr. Reid, how old are you?" A girl's hand shot up. "You seem kinda young to be a teacher?"

"I'm thirty." His answer earned a collective 'ooh' from the class. He pulled out materials and placed them on a black table. "I'll begin class with a demo. Has anyone heard of elephant toothpaste?"

"Toothpaste big enough for elephants?" Another student suggested.

Reid smiled to himself. Their reactions to the demo would certainly be interesting.

"I'm getting bored," Prentiss complained. She glanced at the clock and realized only an hour passed. She and JJ were secretaries in the front office.

"I know what you mean," JJ agreed. The morning so far consisted of phoning homes to alert parents of students' absences. "I wonder what the others are doing." She hoped that they had more entertaining jobs.

"Garcia wouldn't tell us. Said that it was a surprise." Prentiss paused. "Reid did tell me that he was going to be a chemistry teacher though. He kept trying to explain the arrangement of the periodic table to me." She recalled how excited Reid got, much like a child that was high off sugar.

JJ let out a laugh. "I'm sure that some girls would be fawning over him by now. Poor Spence." She leaned back in her swivel chair and tossed paper balls into the waste bin. Prentiss joined her and the game soon became a competition of sorts.

"Yes!" Prentiss cheered, having won the competition. She pumped her fist into the air in mock victory then peered around her desk to check for any witnesses. Her eye caught an attractive sight. In excitement, she reached over and pulled JJ over. "That is a nice view." She let out a low whistle.

"I have to agree with you on that one." JJ's eyebrows were raised as she mentally absorbed the view.

What the two women stared at in amazement was a firm pair of buttocks dressed in dark slacks. The buttocks belonged to a man who bent over in a doorway at the end of the hall. He appeared to be grabbing hold of a box. When he stood up, the material of the slacks still gripped his behind in just the right places.

"I wouldn't mind if he manhandled me." Prentiss whispered. She and JJ spied on the man from behind their desks. She felt like a high school girl with a crush, but disregarded that thought.

"Go talk to him." JJ peered down the other end of the hall, making sure that no one else was in the office. "There aren't any fraternization rules here."

Prentiss contemplated it for a moment before nodding. She grabbed a water bottle off of her desk and made her way down the hall. She slid up next to the man. "Thirsty, big boy? I saw you handle that oh-so-heavy box." she spoke in a low sultry voice and licked her lips.

"Prentiss, who are you talking to?" Hotch inquired as he turned around. He wasn't aware that she worked in the office as well.

Horrified, Prentiss dropped the water bottle and quickly wiped her lips with the back of her hand. She stood straight as a rod and averted her eyes. "Uh, n-nothing, sir. I was just talking to myself." She took a step back, not realizing that her water bottle rolled behind her. As a result, she tripped on the accursed bottle and landed on her own buttocks.

"Are you alright?" Hotch extended his arm to help her up. Instead of taking it, however, she skittered further back. He raised his eyebrow and wondered why her face was flustered and red as if she received a sunburn. "Do you have a fever?"

"No, sir, I'm fine." She tried to assure him. Seeing that there was no way out of this mess, she shot up and fled the scene.

From underneath her desk, JJ held back her giggles. She witnessed the entire thing and couldn't bear to look at Hotch without bursting into laughter.

Hotch stared at Prentiss' retreating figure for a second before returning to his work. He had to admit that her behind was mighty attractive.

"Alright, start with two laps around the gym!" Morgan ordered then blew his whistle. He was tired of seeing how easy the teens tired. When he was their age, he had twice the energy. Kids' these days had their energy sucked away by numerous hours spent with electronics.

"Why are we even doing this?" A student groaned once he finished his laps. The rest of the class joined him. "We're supposed to have free play."

"Not today. You guys are going to get a full workout." Morgan pulled out mats and placed them in front of the rock climbing walls. He patted a rock. "Get in lines of five and start climbing." The class groaned before obeying his instructions. After ten minutes of watching the class feebly drag themselves about two feet off the ground, he groaned. He climbed the wall and reached the top of it in a matter of minutes. "If I can do it, you can do it too."

His students stared back at him in awe. "You're like a body builder though!"

Morgan chuckled.

"Bon appétit!" Rossi declared, smacking his lips against his fingers at the sight of his delectable creations. "Now these children won't have to eat such terrible food." He stood in the high school's kitchen with thousands of gourmet pizzas laid out.

"I agree. The food before was so icky!" Garcia commented. However, something didn't seem right to her. "Does something seem off to you?"

"No. Why?"

Garcia screamed when she discovered what it was. She spotted a black ball scurrying between the holes in the walls. "There's a rat!" She pointed.

"A rat in my kitchen?" Rossi growled. He stood his ground and extended his hand to Garcia. "Fetch me my gun. It's time to go hunting."

"Yes, sir!" Garcia saluted him then hurried off.

"Morgan!" a voice squeaked from behind the office door. It was lunchtime so Morgan resigned himself to his office with a sprinkled donut.

He placed down his donut regretfully before going over to the door. "Kid?" he asked when he opened the door. Reid stumbled in, his sweater vest and shirt in shambles. There appeared to be some lipstick marks littered throughout his shirt. "What happened to you?" Morgan wrinkled his nose as he picked up on the stench of heavy perfumes emitting from Reid.

"Shut the door!" Reid cried. He started barricading the door with a couch. Morgan tried to calm him by placing a hand on his shoulder, but he whipped around with a demented look. "You don't know their wrath!"

Morgan shrugged. "They're only high school girls. How bad can they be?" With his eyes nearly bugging out, Reid gestured to the rest of his attire that barely clung onto his exhausted self. "Okay, I take that back. But still. I think you need to relax a little." Morgan took a seat on the couch and patted the seat next to him. "Can you explain what happened?"

Reid plopped down on the couch with a sigh of defeat. "These two girls approached me at the beginning of lunch, claiming to need help. Before I knew it, this happened." He pulled at the torn wrist of his buttoned-up shirt. His watch was gone, but at least he still had his purple scarf. Well, most of it. "Why me, Morgan?" He voice cracked with despair and agony.

Deep down Morgan knew that it had something to do with Reid's baby face, but decided not to say anything. "I don't know, man."

Without warning, Reid perked up and turned to the office's window. "Do you hear that?" He sworn that he heard something resembling wind chimes.

"No?" Morgan didn't hear anything.

Suddenly, two make up caked faces smacked themselves against the office window. Reid let out a screech and scrambled behind the couch. "I'm doomed!"

"JJ, did you hear that?" Hotch asked, stepping out of the principal's office. He just finished filing the suspension of two boys. Apparently one bit the other and the other decided to implement the use of a stapler in return.

JJ shook her head. "Probably just high schoolers being high schoolers."

Trusting his instincts, Hotch stepped out into the main hallway to survey the scene. What he witnessed was not a surprise, unfortunately. (But on the flipside none of the students were in the hallway to witness the ridiculous events.) Rossi and Garcia rounded the corner at top speed and appeared to be chasing a black blob. Rossi was armed with a hunting rifle. Garcia, on the other hand, clutched a spatula. Prentiss sat on a stairwell and surrounding her was a puddle of tears. Reid and Morgan sprinted through the hallway and slid on the puddle. Their fall was broken by Hotch, who tried to move out of the way with no avail.

"Should I check if the construction is done?" JJ asked. She peeked into the hallway after poor Hotch was knocked from under his feet.

"Yes," Hotch groaned as he stared at the white ceiling of the school.

Please review.