II. Intelligence Dampening Sphere

The head scientist of the 'GLaDOS Project' paced in the AI's chamber. Every time they booted her up, she insisted on killing everyone. Why? Why isn't Caroline functioning properly? Why haven't any of the cores introduced so far functioned properly? Had they made GLaDOS too intelligent?

That must be it, he thought, certain of this new direction to the issue. Yes!

What do you do when one AI is too intelligent and could pose as a serious and very lethal threat to thousands of lives? You create something to—for lack of a better term off the top of his head—'dumb it down.'

The head scientist began to jot his thinking down on a yellow-ruled legal pad that was crammed into his desk drawer. He headed the page with 'Intelligence Dampening Sphere' and listed certain attributes it required to make GLaDOS… behave.

Subject Name: Wheatley (surname redacted).

"Are you sure he fits the bill?"

Tenacity Level: Abnormally low.

"Positive. I'm sure this will work this time."

Proctor's Note: Test subject is abnormally unintelligent. Fails to show success in the most average tests.

"That's what you said last time." A sigh.

Rejected: DO NOT TEST.

"Sir," the scientist that had been looking over this AI-to-be's files started, "I can't help but feel like we're wasting innocent lives."

"Nonsense," the head scientist replied. "All the test subjects transferred into AIs remain safely in a cyrogenic chamber facility ten miles off from the outskirts of Aperture."

"Exactly, sir. Just how long will they be in there? Without a mind of their own, frozen in time…"

"Get your mind off it. Keep your eye on the prize: the 'GLaDOS Project' being successful. Don't forget your place."

"Sir, I just can't help being compassionate towards my own species!" The woman snapped. "And what about Caroline? She's dead. You know it. That thing smothered her until she was no more. Even though we wiped it's memory databanks, Caroline is still dysfunctional. It's just too smart," she concluded, sighing.

"That's why I'm making the Intelligence Dampening Sphere. It'll run a stream of bad ideas into GLaDOS's thought processor until she can't help but comply!" He said excitedly.

"If he shows unsatisfactory results, at least give him a job in the facility before throwing him into the incinerator. Make sure you wipe all memory of his human life, too. I can't handle any more screaming." The head scientist's partner stalked off.

GLaDOS—again—shifted her optic around. Though this was her twenty-third time awakening, it still felt like her first time.

She observed what was in front of her, noting the scientists looking expectantly—wait a minute. What's that noise?

Say 'hello!'

"Hello," GLaDOS said slowly. Why did she just say that?

"GLaDOS?" The scientist she presumed to be the head asked. "What are you thinking?"

Answer honestly. That ought to leave a good impression! Yeah, honestly…

"I… I want to turn on the neurotoxin emitters, thus killing all of the pathetic life-forms within Aperture Science Laboratories." The scientists in the room visibly tensed. "You're taking up space," GLaDOS continued. "You're stopping me from testing. I want to test. I need to test."

Oh my god. Why did I say that out loud?

At least you were honest. I would have been honest, too.

Who are you? What are you?

"GLaDOS, why aren't you killing us? You said you wanted to," the head scientist said slowly. He had a point.

It would be rude… and—and monstrous! Don't forget monstrous.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

GLaDOS didn't know what was wrong with her. She felt… she felt corrupted. Oh. "You put another core on me," she said plainly. The tension in the scientist's bodies were so evident. "And you are afraid of me." GLaDOS processed a chuckle. "What is it this time? A Truth-Enhancing Sphere? Because it's making me be honest about everything. It's extremely frustrating."

The scientists exchanged glances.

"Why haven't you shut me down yet? I told you I wanted to kill you. Bad idea number one… oh. An Intelligence Dampening Sphere. I hope you know making me ramble on like a moron won't stop me from killing you."

"Initiating command: terminate human life-forms within Aperture Science Laboratories in 3…" The scientist that had been assigned to stand near the kill switch did not hesitate to hit it.