A/N; the plot, like custard, thickens...

I woke slowly in the unfamiliar cold room. My breath fogged, but I was warm under the layers of duvets and blankets. I missed waking with her at times like these. Missed the physicality of having her body next to mine. None of that doe-eyed gazing into each other eyes nonsense, although to be fair when we first started going out there was a fair bit of that. No, it was the familiar weight of her body, the way it fitted that I missed. She had a way of holding me, often at night I'd wake with her spooning me, with her longs arms draped across my body, and her hands lightly cupping me in between my legs. It wasn't overtly sexual; it was like being held, like being possessed by her. We never woke like that, she constantly changed positions, but I lost count of the number of times I'd felt her in the night. I missed it.

I thought about indulging in some Verity driven me-time, but the need to pee was overwhelming, and the smell of Auntie Tone's breakfast bacon rolls wafting up from the kitchen was too tempting. I dressed quickly, if I didn't get a move on, Uncle Fergus would devour the lot. My Aunt and Uncle were part of the Scottish side of the family, my mum's. Auntie Antonia her elder sister, they'd been in Bristol ages, it's where my mum and dad had met, but they clung to their Scottish roots, a little bit of Edinburgh in the heart of Bristol.

I walked slowly down the stairs, feeling a little worse for wear after last night at Keith's with Panda and Thomas, still trying to digest panda's news. I needed to talk to Eff, I fired off a quick text. I wandered into the kitchen at the back of the house, it was warm and cosy the windows were steamed up. Uncle Hamish was hidden behind his broadsheet. Auntie Tone Smiled at me.

"Morning, my dear, sleep well, breakfast, tea?"

I nodded affirmative to all three, and sat hands in my lap as she busied herself placing a plate and mug in front of me. Once she had me off guard, she pounced;

"Emily, are you going to talk to your mother, hmmm?"

I paused, nearly spilling the tea from the pot; I shrugged "I don't think so Auntie."

"It's been how long now? Two? Three years? I think it's gone on long enough, don't you? And now I hear you're not speaking to Naomi?" She looked at me from where she stood at the Aga, stirring bacon around in a frying pan. "You seem determined to ostracize the people who love you."

I took a sip of tea, "Naomi has nothing to do with my mother, Auntie."

"I know dear, and you know you're always welcome here, but still, try. For her sake?"

My phone beeped, a text, I checked it and was relieved to duck out of the conversation; I just had one more favour to ask. "Auntie, can I borrow your car?"

OooooO

The drive out to Eff's place in the suburbs didn't take long, I struggled a bit to find their house in amongst all the identical Executive homes, but finally I found it, and pulled onto the driveway of the large newly built house. Effy had opened the door before I could get to the bell, and smiling had pulled me into a tight hug. She looked good; expensive hairstyle, good clothes, life was clearly treating her well.

"Long time no see, Fitch"

I nodded noncommittally, as I followed her into her large sparse white kitchen, As she filled the kettle I looked around at the normal trappings of comfortable middle class around me, fruit in a stylish bowl on the bare wooden table, a full wine rack, stainless steel fridge, a pin board of bills and postcards, it was all so...neat. I'm told it's not uncommon for patients to have feelings towards their doctors; apparently marriage isn't all that uncommon either. Still, it had taken all of by surprise when Effy had announced that she and John Foster had married. None of us had been invited to any ceremony, it had all been done quickly, a trip to the Bahamas, and before you could draw breath they'd come back as Doctor and Mrs Foster. Naomi and I had visited them once, soon after, and Effy had gabbled away like...Well, like a newly wedded bride really, whilst John had smiled away quietly in the corner, like a cat that had got the cream, as well he might. We'd left them as confused and bemused as we'd found them, Naomi had found the whole thing bizarre.

"How's university?" Effy bought me back to reality.

I made a face. "Honestly?" I paused as she looked at me seriously. "I think I'm failing my degree, I've literally got no money, I'm still not talking to either my mother or Naomi, and I'm having less than pure thoughts about a relative. Oh, and about the only sane member of my family just died..." I paused noting the open mouthed look on her face, I smiled weakly "Apart from that, just peachy thanks, how life with you?" She burst into laughter; I couldn't help smiling along at the absurdity of my life.

We spent the next hour or so drinking tea, and catching up on gossip, she knew more about my Sister's life in Paris than I did, weirdly Eff and I had never been that close, but now I was being treated like a long lost cousin, I was finding it more and more difficult to bring up the subject that I'd come here to talk about. After more than a few "Ahhhs and "ummms" as answers, Effy looked at me.

"Something on your mind?"

I fiddled with my cup, took a breath, here goes nothing, I thought. "Effy, are you still getting sent those match books from different places, the ones you said you thought were from Freddie, or Cook?"

She stiffened visibly, looking away, after a pause she said quietly "Occasionally." She paused again, drew a breath, "They come randomly, sometimes a couple at a time, sometimes nothing for weeks or months." She stopped.

"Effy", I asked quietly, "Have you ever been sent one from Berlin?"

She looked at me curiously, "Hang on", she left the kitchen and came back some minutes later with a shoe box, she opened the lid, to reveal the collection, she rifled through them and finally, after looking at some more closely, placed a dark blue folding match book on the table between us, the lettering on the back indicated clearly a hotel in Berlin.

"Can I have this?" I asked, and she nodded mutely. We said nothing for a moment before Effy asked me.

"What's this all about"?

I shrugged, I honestly didn't know myself. "Something Panda mentioned, she thinks some-one might be playing a sick game at your expense".

"Is that what you think?" she asked, I could see tears forming in the corners of her eyes.

I looked at her, "I want to know, y'know?" she nodded, and I carried on. "I just want to know where they are, what happened, Ok?"

Effy opened her mouth to say something, when we heard a key in the lock, Effy's head spun around, and she quickly put the lid on the box. After a few moments, Dr Foster came into the kitchen; he looked surprised to see me. He stopped, and Effy started to explain. "Ems was in town for her Gran's funeral, she came out to see me". She crossed over to him, and put her arms around his waist. He smiled, but it didn't seem to reach his eyes.

"Will you stay for dinner, Emily?"

I waved in the general direction of my Aunt's car outside, "Can't, I've got to get back", I looked at my watch, "In fact, I should probably get going..."

"I'll see you out." Effy spoke up suddenly breaking away from her husband. We walked to the front door; Effy reached into her pocket and pressed a couple of twenties into my hand. "He gives it to me, I think your needs are greater than mine". She paused again, and suddenly "There's a journal, Freddie had a notebook, mostly it was just silly stuff, but Cook said there was something in the back, I never saw it. I think Karen..." She stopped as John joined us. I shrugged on my coat, and couldn't help noticing the baseball bat mounted on the wall. John saw me looking. "Aha, the good ole bat", he said happily, the first time I'd seen his eyes light up, "haven't used it in anger for a long time now though", he patted his stomach "Bit past it I think."

In the car I let out a breath I didn't realise I'd been holding.

OooooO

I parked the car, and turned off the ignition. Finding Karen wasn't that hard, she worked in the same hair and beauty salon where my Mum had worked before her ill fated foray into the world of wedding planning. I pushed open the door, the receptionist; a young girl now, looked up. "Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Karen". I saw her out the corner of my eye, and she nodded uncertainly, not quite placing me. She called out to the receptionist, "It's Ok, I'll take my break".

We stood at the back of the shop, Karen smoking, she looked at me uncertainly, and then finally "Emily, right?" I nodded. "So?"

I took a breath "Freddie". I said simply. She looked away as I continued, pulled hard on her cigarette. "Have you heard anything, anything at all?"

She shook her head. "The Police have him as missing, y'know same as Cook, the crazy bastard. She let out a sigh. "I dunno, people go missing all the time, I know, but this isn't Freddie's style, he wouldn't do this".

"D'you know about these? I showed her the match book. She nodded.

"Yeah, I heard that crazy bitch Effy was getting them". She shook her head again, it's not Freddie, Cook, dunno, maybe, it's the sort of stupid stunt he'd pull, the tosser".

"Why not Freddie", I asked her.

She didn't say anything for a while, then "You're going to think I'm stupid. "

"What."

She paused again taking another pull on her cigarette. "I have a mole, here", she pointed to her shoulder.

My eyebrow rose "A mole?"

She closed her eyes hesitated, then "Freddie's mole I call it. It itches when he gets up to no good, when he was stealing dad's beers, or whatever, I'd know 'cause it would tingle". I must have looked sceptical, as she made a face of embarrassment.

"And". I had a suspicion I knew where this was going. She took a last puff on the cigarette, and turned to go back into the salon. "Nothing", she said over her shoulder, "Nothing for years now.

"Karen", I called out to her, "There's a journal, Effy mentioned it?"

She stopped with her hand on the door handle, "Try JJ, I think he's got a lot of Freddie's stuff, you're lucky, I think he's in town doing a gig." She turned to face me; half smiled, then went back into the salon.

OooooO

"...and I'm thinking I should be sucking her other earlobe, and I'd like to maybe suck on a nipple, but my neck's still sore, and I'm still trying to think about IKEA self build units to stop myself from coming too soon, but that's not working 'cause all I can think about is drilling and screws, and pre drilled holes, and male and female parts, and I'm stroking her, and she's panting, and it's all going great, and then, just then... THERE'S A NOISE LIKE A RHINOCEROS FARTING. The likes of which you've never heard, it echoes off tall buildings, it leaves your ears ringing, old ladies nearby are calling the noise abatement society. No one EVER mentions the noises..."

I was squashed into the back of the heaving club; I'd only just got in. Bristol's very latest up and coming stand-up was striding about on the stage, the bloke and his wife next to me thought the whole thing was fucking hilarious, couldn't stop laughing, the comedy of recognition and his brand of political and scientific satire had hit a underlying current, and JJ was on the up. The guy laughed again at something JJ said; nearly split his pint over himself and probably wouldn't have cared even if he had. He probably would have laughed all the harder had he known that I was the girl involved in this particularly rude monologue about first time sex.

I shook my head again as the ranting went on, he was prowling the stage like a caged Hyena, grinning and sweating under the lights, no stutter, and no hesitation. Master finally of himself. At Uni he'd been introduced to theatre as part of a therapy course, and he'd never looked back. Already a couple of slots on telly, he was the next big thing. JJ was dressed in jeans, black tee shirt which had F.T.T. on it, and underneath in brackets: (possess carnal knowledge of the conservative party); they were selling like hot cakes in the foyer.

It goes on for a while before finally he signs off with his now familiar "I've been JJ, you've been great, now I'm going, Goodnight" There's thunderous applause, and stamping and whistling, as I make my way towards the stage entrance. The back stage area is crowed, and I see JJ walk past towel wrapped across his shoulders like a boxer after a fight, he's dripping in sweat. I call out, and he turns, seeing me,

"Hey, Emily!" he turns to speak to some-one, and a woman beckons me other, and into his dressing room. I stand in the small room as he peels off his soaking tee, and throws on a new one. I'm pulled into a hug.

"Eeeuuuww, you stink" I pull away, "Nice set, apart from..." It's left unfinished as he interrupts

"Yes, sorry bit of artistic licence I'm afraid", he smiles uncertainly at me.

I smile back, "S'ok the couple next to me thought it was the funniest thing in the world, perhaps I should have given them my autograph". He looks momentarily shocked before breaking into a broad grin. "I'll use that."

It's not until we're leaving the back of the club that I mention Freddie's stuff, and he concentrates for a moment, then. "Most of it is my London flat, I'm back down there tomorrow, I'll dig it out for you if you want". He pauses, "actually d'you want a lift? I've got a ride down with the daughter of one the production crew; I think you know her, Verity Walker?"

OooooO

We passed onto the M4 doing a steady ninety trailing light spray, it was a dim morning, and the instrument panel of the BMW glowed orange in front of the delicious, straight-armed, black-skirted, DM booted crop-blonde Verity..Driving like a bat out of hell.

I watched the needle swing past ninety, Jesus, I was sitting behind JJ who was in the passenger seat up front, the speed didn't seem to bother him, I should have sat behind her, then I wouldn't have seen so much of her figure, but I wouldn't have had to watch the speedo either. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat tried not to stare. Verity made a sort of wiggling motion, bum lifted, her back against the driver's seat, the force was applied to those long nylon encased legs, and on each occasion she did this we sped up ever so slightly.

"You Ok?" asked JJ

She made a face "Yup" she smiled and shifted down to overtake. "Problem with wearing sussies, sometimes they sort of pull a bit, you know?"

"I can't c-claim to no," laughed JJ from the front, "I'll take you word for it."

Verity nodded, "Just sorting things out here" she lifted her bum right off the seat this time, and the car went over a hundred, she wriggled and plonked back down again easing off the accelerator a bit.

"That better", asked JJ

"Mm-hum" Verity nodded.

Meanwhile I did my best not to pass out with lust, thinking about what that black mid thigh skirt concealed.