*AN: There are triggers in this chapter. Mention of suicide attempt, eating disorder, and PTSD
Rory woke up late in the evening. Sebastian wasn't in the room. But pain was everywhere. His hip felt like it was on fire, and his foot had a resonating throb going on. He let out a whimper. It had been a while since he really cried here due to pain. But this hurt. Within seconds he saw Sebastian's frame in the corner of his eye. Rory longed for his touch, he made to move to get to him, but Sebastian spoke first, "Shh, Pup, stay lying down for me."
"It hurts,"
The bed dipped with Sebastian's weight, and Sebastian soon had his fingers carding through Rory's locks, "I know. But it's still a while yet before I can give you some more painkillers."
Rory knew not to argue but it hurt. The sensation in his hip was the worst. From what he could see, it still had a bit before it would heal. He swallowed back the tears.
Sebastian continued to run his fingers through Rory's hand. "You've been a good boy Pup. People are noticing. Masters."
Rory looked at him, he wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He was slowly accepting this was his life. At least now the sex was consensual. At least now he might be tied up during sex, but Sebastian cared about everything he did to Rory. He did it all with a purpose.
"I haven't rewarded you in a while, following my rules so well," He saw a few tears in Sebastian's eyes. Sebastian knew he didn't have Rory's complete life, not yet. But he would get it, just not now. "I promised you and Kitten that he could come see you. After you…" Sebastian couldn't bring himself to say the words, Rory reached up and wiped the tears away.
"But he didn't come, Blaine got sick, and then he did, and you got busy…"
Sebastian nodded, "In light of that letter, I have talked with Blaine, and you need to call him sir while he is here." Rory had yet to call anyone but Sebastian by their proper title. He didn't know if he could call Blaine that, note or not. Sebastian knew this would test the waters, it would test a lot of things. "We have agreed that you are allowed to see Kitten, he will be here, and we will both be in the room the entire time. Minimal touching, but Kitten will get to see you."
Rory's big blue eyes lit up, it had been a while since Sebastian had seen that. He was jealous that it wasn't him making it happen. It should be him, he should be able to make Rory that happy. He would. One day he would make Rory that happy. He would one day be the only thing that made Rory happy. He was so close yet so far away. "They will be here tomorrow morning," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of Rory's head. "Now, I'm going to give you a last dose of pain medicine, and we'll sleep, enjoy another simple breakfast, and Kitten and Blaine will come.
He got up and left Rory to his thoughts. The pain was stronger. Sebastian said last dose and that worried him. He had never been given anything to ease the pain before. He wondered how bad it would hurt. He had hurt a lot in his time here. The first thing that came to mind was Quinn. The knife flicked across his memory, then the cane, then the whip, the paddle. She hurt him the most. She also knew more about him then most. Then Blaine flicked across his mind, hanging in his shower, completely spent, falling into his arms after a maintenance punishment that was harsher than it needed to be.
Rory felt the tears begin. He saw them. He saw Finn, he didn't understand Finn. Finn dislocated his shoulder. He rolled over crying out in pain, but also to get away from the images. The images that were too real for his own good. "Make 'em stop," he said as his face became wet with tears.
He didn't have to say anything, he didn't feel when Sebastian came and wrapped his arms around him. Sebastian came back a bit before he saw Rory turn over. Sebastian knew Rory dealt with PTSD. Other masters would have given up, by their standards Rory was broken defective. He would have these episodes. Rory responded to kindness, to kind physical touch Sebastian got that when he first rented the boy. His PTSD was caused by the exact opposite.
Sebastian ran his fingers through Rory's hair, and held him. Many times Sebastian couldn't talk Rory out of his episode. It took Rory coming down on his own. Sometimes he couldn't even touch Rory because they boy would run away. Sebastian was slowly learning to deal with Rory's PTSD. He had to train Rory differently than he would have to train anyone else. But it was worth it to Sebastian.
Rory sobbed, his body wracked, "Make 'em stop," he said again, as a hiccup escaped his mouth.
Sebastian carefully, put a protective arm around Rory, "I'm here, Pup, no one is going to hurt you when I'm here." He ran his free hand through Rory's hair.
Rory pressed his body into Sebastian. Sebastian accepted it. Maybe this episode wouldn't be as bad. He could never see what Rory saw, he couldn't fathom what went on in the boys head, but he could help the best he could. Being Rory's master, there was much more entitled to that then just pleasuring himself. Rory was a person he knew that, Rory was also his. And Sebastian took care of everything in his possession. He couldn't have a true loving relationship with Rory, Rory even knew that, saying he couldn't love Sebastian. But that didn't mean that Sebastian didn't care for Rory with a lot of his heart.
Love ended badly for Rory. Rory loved his family, and he was taken from them. Rory loved Kurt, and he was brutally gang raped and left for dead, thank god Sebastian was there to pick up the pieces, all because he loved someone. Rory wasn't going to risk that with Sebastian. He needed Sebastian, and he couldn't risk being ripped away from him too.
It was when Rory moved, and his sobs quieted did Sebastian know that the episode was over. Rory was back, he might not remember but Rory was getting better at acknowledging something was wrong, and that he was in a situation and needed to accept it.
Sebastian took his hand and wiped the tears from Rory's face, drying it. "Is it because of the pain."
He was patient as he waited for Rory to answer. But slowly Rory nodded, "I saw… and lost control…"
Sebastian gave him a kiss on his forehead, and again on his temple. He kissed Rory's cheek, and the corner or Rory's lips. He watched Rory close his eyes, and melt under the touch. "I'm in control for you."
"But," Rory said, as his hand began to reach down to his hip. Sebastian stopped his hand, his brand needed to heal. Rory looked as Sebastian stopped his hand, and then at Sebastian.
"I will always be here, Rory." Sebastian chose when he used Rory's real name very carefully. He used it when Rory had tried to kill himself, he used it when he promised Rory he would claim him. He was using it now, it put his point across.
Rory closed his eyes, and pressed his head into Sebastian's chest. Sebastian kissed into his hair. They were like that for a few minutes. Sebastian reached over on the night table and pulled a glass of water off, and some pills. He shifted himself, "Take the pain meds, Pup." Rory took them.
Another dreamless sleep came to him that night, and he couldn't have been more grateful. Rory's sleeps were usually pitted with nightmares, they had gotten less frequent with Sebastian always being there. But he would still wake up in the middle of the night a hand to his mouth so he wouldn't scream and wake Sebastian. Sebastian however woke anyways, and comforted Rory. Rory without fail would cling to him harder, and Sebastian never minded. Tonight was not like that.
Sebastian however didn't get much sleep. The steady rise and fall of Rory's chest, the constant touch from him, it kept him. He was worried. Tomorrow would mark the first time Rory would have seen Kurt since the obstacle course. Sebastian knew this, he knew that the whole ordeal was hard for Rory. He also knew it was hard for every person involved.
He brushed off Rory's love for Kurt when it happened, and rubbed the situation in Blaine's face. But the dynamics had changed since then. Rory's confession in the medical wing of the manor had showed that. It had proved to Sebastian that Rory loved him, he just was scared to say it. Sebastian knew he shouldn't have anything to worry about tomorrow, but he still worried.
Morning came, and Sebastian let Rory sleep. He tried his own hand at cooking waffles, Rory really was a much better cook than he was. He was grateful for the egos in the freezer. He could make those. He did.
When Rory woke Sebastian was sitting in front of him with a tray. Rory was not used to being served, but he didn't mind it. Sebastian shifted on the bed and helped him sit up. "You need to teach me to cook something one day Pup, frozen waffles don't have the same feel as homemade ones."
Rory looked at him, "But I'm supposed to do the cookin'."
"Not when you're sick, or hurt, and I'll be damned if I have another meal from the kitchen here. Its like they took microwave food and tried to make it, but took it out of the microwave before it was finished cooking."
The comment elicited a laugh from Rory, which made Sebastian smile. As Rory ate Sebastian checked on his foot, "It might hurt to walk for a while, but it looks wonderful." Rory flushed, for the first time he felt truly owned by Sebastian. Yes he was owned by Sebastian but now he had a way to remember when Sebastian wasn't in the room.
Rory finished eating, and moved the tray which allowed Sebastian to look at his hip, "Its healing nicely, Pup. You're such a good boy." He remembered Kurt complaining about the pain. But Rory took the pain like a trooper, though he hated thinking about why Rory took the pain like he did. He hated to think this was on the low end of pain of everything Rory had felt.
There was a gentle knock at the door. It was gentle but loud enough to be heard throughout the suite. "Come on Pup." Sebastian said. Sebastian still needed to get Rory his own clothes, but other things had been on his mind. He went into his closet, and came out with a pair of expensive boxers that hung low on Rory's thin frame, and a pair of shorts, that hung low on his hips, just below the brand. Sebastian decided against a shirt.
He helped Rory stand, and take the tray to the kitchen. Rory limped a little, but that was only due to the tattoo on his foot. Rory had put the tray up, he wash the dishes later, that is if Sebastian let him. He would eventually though.
Sebastian got the door, and let their guests in. When Rory came out, he froze. It had been so long since he had seen Kurt, really seen Kurt, and so long since Kurt had seen him. They both had gone through so much differently and together. It was Kurt who spoke first, "Rory."
Rory gulped he looked to Sebastian, then glanced at Blaine neither were reprimanding Kurt for using Rory's real name. Rory then spoke, he felt the tears building, "Kurt."
It wasn't exactly a movie moment, the two had rules. But watching Rory, and Kurt reunite, Blaine and Sebastian realized this was long overdue. The two walked towards each other, Kurt noticed Rory's limp, he noticed Rory's crooked nose, but he noticed that Rory was still Rory.
Rory looked at Kurt, he hadn't changed much looks wise, but he had personality wise. Rory knew that. Rory felt that, every time they talked. Rory had been wanting this to happen for so long. He went to hug Kurt, and was met with an equally tight hug.
"I've missed ya," he said, the tears finally coming down. Kurt broke from the hug and wiped them away. Sebastian felt a pang of jealousy; it should be him wiping the tears away. But it was Kurt.
He looked at Blaine he could tell Blaine felt the same way. Rory and Kurt would always have a bond, a relationship, something that Sebastian couldn't have with Rory, and something Blaine couldn't have with Kurt. It was unique two their slaves, and they would never be able to understand it too. Sebastian and Blaine took their seats at the island in the kitchen which had a straight view into the living room.
But it gave Rory and Kurt an illusion of privacy.
"You look better than when I last saw you, he hasn't forced pizza down your throat again has he?"
Rory shook his head, "He wanted me to eat more, and it's very hard still, he just didn't know how to do it." Rory knew Kurt and Sebastian weren't on the best of terms ever. But Rory knew Sebastian was a good person, was good for him.
They both knew it was small talk, and that there was the cloud of what they really should talk about hanging over them.
"Why?" Kurt asked.
Rory looked at him, he knew exactly what Kurt was referring to. It was something that he and Sebastian didn't talk about it. His attempted suicide happened and the two dealt with it. He had Rory write so many lines, and then kneel in a corner but Rory got the message. Rory cast his blue eyes to the ground, he felt new tears forming in the corners of his eyes. "I wanted everyone to be happy."
He sighed this was the first time he was saying why he did to someone who wasn't Sebastian. "I caused so much trouble for Sebastian, he got so much hate about me, he wouldn't have that if I was gone. So many people didn't like me, so many people wouldn't have me as a problem."
Kurt had tears in his eyes now, "You're not a problem, Rory."
Rory nodded, "I know, I do, but it's hard to remember. Sebastian has to prove himself so much with me. He wouldn't need that if I wasn't here." Rory felt the tears slowly roll down his cheeks.
"It's in the past, but you're alive, and I should have tried harder to see you after it happened. I'm here now. I've worried about you."
"Why?"
"Rory, you're my best friend, and I worried about you. I worried about Master too because he was sick, and I needed to take care of him. But you almost died, Rory. He told me he almost lost you."
Rory pulled away from Kurt sat on the couch. "I just wanted everyone to be happy. I don't want to be told that I was wrong. I've already been told that." He hiccupped as he cried again. "I was wrong, I'm always wrong, I always do the wrong thing…"
"Rory, calm down," Kurt said sitting next to him. "You believe in God right?" Kurt knew Rory did, but Rory nodded anyways. "Well God didn't want you to die. God knew that wouldn't make people happy. You can't make everyone happy."
"I was so close Kurt, I saw the light. I know now, that I need to not focus on what everyone else says, and its hard. I'm just glad that my attempt was overshadowed by everything else, I wouldn't want Sebastian under any more scrutiny because of me."
Kurt swallowed hard at Rory's confession to seeing the light. He had never been grateful for Sebastian, but in that moment he was. Kurt was slowly seeing that Sebastian was what Rory needed. Rory was coming to terms with what was going on, and it almost hurt Rory to come to those terms. It hurt Kurt to see it. Rory was a spark of life; he was the one person that hadn't settled. He was the one person that would never settle.
Rory gave Kurt a watery smile, "I'm glad you came."
Kurt gave him another brief hug, "I've missed you. What was in the letter Blaine wrote?" he asked.
It was then Blaine and Sebastian came back, and interrupted them. "I think its time we leave," Blaine said grabbing Kurt's leash.
Rory knew it was because the letter was brought up. Sebastian knew this as well. "Come on, Kitten."
Blaine looked at Rory, then at Sebastian, "Think about it Sebastian." When Blaine looked at Rory however, Rory knew why he interrupted when he did. If Rory told Kurt that Blaine was going to try and figure out how to take him on as well as having Kurt as a claim it would have put a false sense of hope in Kurt, it would have made Kurt mad, and Rory wouldn't do that Kurt. He might still greatly dislike Blaine but he wouldn't do that to Blaine either.
Sebastian and Rory watched as Blaine and Kurt left. Sebastian then quickly went and gave Rory a hug, "I'm glad you're alive, Rory." He kissed Rory, and Rory slowly returned it. He always returned Sebastian's kisses but it was slow. He was uncertain if he could. Sebastian then broke the kiss, "You're perfect, everything about you. Everything." He kissed Rory's cheek, Rory's eyes closed as he melted into Sebastian, "And you're mine." He kissed Rory's jaw, then his neck. Rory turned his head for Sebastian to kiss it better. He trailed down to Rory's chest then went and kissed Rory's lips again, "And you always will be."