Disclaimer: That's Sasuke, that's Naruto. Do you see them all over each other? Then no, not mine.

The Underground Naruto Fanclub

by Apple Addiction

Hatake Kakashi was a genius. He had no illusions about that. He was particularly aware of that when talking to a distraught Iruka after ramen at Ichiraku one night, especially when he hit a raw nerve and had to dodge about ten kunais and six shurikens.

"Maa… Iruka-sensei, surely there's no need for violence, it was only a suggestion." Kakashi protested mildly as he caught the last kunai in his fingers.

Iruka growled threateningly. "Kakashi-sensei, what you are insinuating is that Naruto is gay and he's sexually attracted to Sasuke." Kakashi had to applaud Iruka's ability to emphasize his point. He could hear the bolds and italics so clearly.

"Ah yes. Then I went to suggest that maybe," Maybe Kakashi lacked a streak of self-preservation because he ploughed on with total disregard for the homicidal glint in Iruka's eyes. "Sasuke has replaced your place in Naruto's heart."

"That's… that's not the point!" Iruka spluttered indignantly.

Kakashi's eye twinkled. "But mathematically speaking, you only threw a tiny shuriken at me for my insinuations but totally went berserk at my suggestion."

Iruka's face heated up. "I'm NOT jealous!"

Kakashi stifled his laughter. "Of course not, Iruka-sensei. It's not as if it matters if Naruto's favourite person is not you."

Iruka stared at the jounin for one moment before falling down with a defeated slump. Kakashi saw his dejected face and felt a tendril of guilt, which he examined carefully, then buried deeply. He walked over to the chunin and knelt down in front of him.

"But Iruka-sensei, I assure you that all is not lost. Now, how about you listen to my proposition?"

Neji walked to the windows, threw open the curtains…

"Yo, Neji-kun."

…and immediately drew it close. He walked over to his bed and sat down as he waited for the copy nin to let himself in.

"Maa… Neji," Kakashi admonished lightly, "How cold. Is that any way to treat your superior?"

"Yes when he's here at 2 in the morning and tried to enter by the window."

Kakashi waved his hand dismissively as his eye curved into a happy arc. "A mere technicality."

Neji turned to stare at him. "Why are you here?"

Kakashi scratched his chin wistfully. "And here I was hoping for a rousing welcome. Well you see, I was walking on the streets tonight when a wonderful idea struck me. For a while I was speechless by the brilliance, then I was so excited that I just had to tell somebody. Then I thought, hey, isn't this neighbourhood familiar? Wait a minute, isn't this Hyuuga's property? So I immediately thought…"

Neji shot him a venomous look. "The point, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi chuckled at the Hyuuga's irritation. "Ah yes, it's about Naruto." He noted with some degree of satisfaction as the genin's body tensed at the name. I'm correct once again, he thought happily. Go me!

"Actually, I'm on a recruitment drive…"

Temari sighed as she walked towards the gates of Konoha. Reluctant as she was, she knew it was time to return. She had already outstayed her mission.

"Yo, Temari-san."

Temari let out a startled scream as she jumped away from the person who had suddenly appeared behind here. She relaxed when she saw who it was.

Kakashi looked vaguely hurt (fake) as he scratched his hair disarmingly. "Maa… Am I that scary?"

"Iie, Kakashi-san, I should have been more alert," Temari offered an apologetic smile.

"Thinking about a certain someone?"

Temari was jolted out of her apology as she stared in shock at the jounin. What did he mean?

"So, I hope you enjoyed your stay in Konoha. After all, Leaf and Sand are allies," Kakashi continued smoothly, oblivious to the young woman's discomfort.

Temari nodded stiffly. "It was an enjoyable stay."

"And I'm sure Nara's house was particularly entertaining." Kakashi added deviously.

Temari simply stared at the man as speech took flight. Shit, he knew! She thought in horror. It was as if a whole bucket of ice water was emptied down her back. "How…" she began in a strangled whisper.

"That doesn't matter. Now, Temari-chan, I'm sure you don't mind doing me a favour, do you?"

Temari gawked at him in disbelief. Is that blackmail!

Kakashi chuckled at her expression. "Don't look so shocked. It's nothing illegal. I just need you to take this letter to Gaara." He held out her hand and placed an envelope into the open palm. "Don't read it and don't let anyone read it."

Temari stared at the envelope dumbly. Somewhere, somehow, she was sure there was something terrible going on and every fibre of her being was screaming at her to chuck the envelope back to the man then knock him out. Briefly, she contemplated where to bury the body.

Kakashi winked at her one last time before leaving. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me."

Temari felt giddy as she clutched her fan tightly for support. It wouldn't hurt, she assured herself firmly, Gaara would not combust me on the spot. Glancing one last time at the innocent envelope, she hid it carefully and took off for home.

"Kakashi-san."

Kakashi's eye widened in surprise before turning calmly to face the other man. "Yo, Itachi."

"So, what is it that I heard about this fanclub you are setting up?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes. He was sure he had been extremely carefully and only a few selected people knew. "You are well-informed."

Itachi smirked victoriously. "Of course, I know about everything," His voice lowered to a dangerous drawl, "when it comes to my Naruto."

Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the possessive pronoun. "Brother rivalry?"

Annoyance flitted across the Uchiha's face briefly. "There was hardly any competition, I assure you."

"Then why are you here?"

Itachi smirked. "To show my support for Naruto-kun, of course. The Underground Naruto Fanclub, set up by Hatake Kakashi, members are Umino Iruka, Hyuuga Neji, Sabaku no Gaara so far. It's a haven for anyone who can't show their love for Naruto-kun openly, accepts only male membership. Vision is the ultimate happiness of Naruto-kun, mission is to win his heart and the main objective is to unite behind the goal of eliminating the biggest rival for Naruto-kun's affections, Uchiha Sasuke. Right?"

Kakashi frowned at the man. He had just recited the Underground Naruto Fanclub's guidebook perfectly.

Itachi smirked yet again. "Kakashi-san, I'm sure you're not so rude as to turn down my membership application, are you?"

Kakashi paced idly in the room. It was an abandoned house in the far recesses of the Hatake compound. He would not admit he was nervous. In fact, to prove that he was not, he took out his Icha Icha Paradise. When he caught himself staring at the door for the third time, he sighed. Ok, maybe just a little nervous.

He glanced at the moon thoughtfully. Would they come?

His thoughts were answered as he felt somebody landing on the roof, followed by another, another and yet another. He beamed happily. Full attendance for the first meeting. That had to be a good sign.

"Kakashi-sensei! What are you smirking pervertedly about?"

"But Iruka-sensei, I am smiling!"

"No, I recognise a smirk when I see one."

"That's so mean! No wonder your students are so scared of you."

Twitch. Smack. "What did you say!"

"No! Not the face!"

Author's Notes: I'm so happy about the reviews! Everyone is so kind and encouraging. Thanks to kama-kun, Unerasable Scorn, Mila, Morbid Dreamer, Hell's Sorrow, chi no hana, Azamiko, Phox VS Frawg, kaine, ChibiNoi, Road Kill Roko, tea, Naaja, Nadramon and Uke Love! Thanks for giving me the confidence to continue. So please tell me what you think of this chapter. Leave a review and make my day!