BIG HUGE THANKS to ignis'caereleus, A Single Fragile Rose, Hard and Horny Nude InuYasha, Random yaoi queen, and Obession No Es Amor for reviewing! :D
This chapter will contain the following: Itasasu, incest, Uchihacest, yaoi, words not in the dictionary, arguments, AU, mentions of sex
Sorry it took so long…Blame it on school…blah…
Crack of Doom
Words
Funner: The cooler form of 'more fun'. We all know it's a word…even if our English teachers say it isn't!
Sasuke and Itachi sat in the older Uchiha's room, doing who knows what. Well, Sasuke's currently trying to get his brother to direct some attention towards him. Itachi?
He was typing away like there was no tomorrow. Only because if he wasn't typing away like that, he would have no tomorrow, for his collage professor would've certainly killed him.
And Sasuke was not helping. At all.
Didn't he understand that his life was on the line? That little brat probably wanted him to suffer…
"Nii-san! Let's do something funner than watching you type your English essay!"
"…" Type. Type. Type.
"Stop ignoring me!!"
"…" Backspace. Type. Type.
"Nii-san! You used to be funner than this!"
"Otouto…"
"Yes?!" Sasuke perked up, having his brother finally answer him.
"You just made me…type….'funner'…"
"Funner's not a word.
"Then why the hell were you saying it?"
"Cause it's a word in my dictionary, but I know it's not one in yours." Sasuke smiled happily, knowing full well that Itachi knew he was right.
"You're an idiot…you just made me type 'funner'…" backspaaaace.
"Haha, it's your own fault, dumdum!" Sasuke paused, seeming to think of something. "Speaking of dumdums….I think I want one right now!"
And so the younger of the two dashed from the room in search of the candy I (the author) absolutely hate…with passion!
Silence.
Oh sweet, sweet, silence of awesome. How I love thee, my silence. Itachi was finally able to type without a little Sasuke distracting him. How he blessed the silence.
Silence! Oh my sweet silence!
What have I done to deserve thou presence?
I only hope thou power
Will last with me for an hour!
For I must finish this essay
Of the mos-
"NII-SAN!! I'M BACK!! AND I HAVE DUMDUMS! THEY'RE STRAWBERRY FLAVORED!!"
And so, Itachi's poem was cut short by the return of his little brother.
Yummer: 'yummier'. We all know yummer will rule over the world someday…
"Nii-san…I'm hungry…" Sasuke pouted, Itachi was still working on his essay.
"Then go cook something to eat." The older answered, not even sparing Sasuke a glance.
"But…but…"
"But what?"
"You cook better…" Sasuke frowned cutely, but Itachi never looked his way, so his little puppy eyes didn't work so well.
"I…cook…better…?" Itachi stared at his computer, pausing to register what Sasuke had just said.
"Well…yeah! You're food…is…way yummer than mine!"
"Sasuke…I blew up the kitchen last time I tried to boil water." Itachi gave Sasuke a stern look.
"…So that was the explosion!" Sasuke said happily, finally realizing why there was an explosion last month.
"Yeah…so, if you're saying my food is yummer th- Shit! You made me say yummer!" Itachi banged his head on the table, how was he supposed to write an English essay when he couldn't even use proper English in his speech?! Sasuke must be up to something…
"What's wrong with yummer? Yummer is a very nice word!" Sasuke pouted angrily, looking absolutely adorable.
"It's missing an 'i', that's what's wrong with it." Itachi began typing again, trying to ignoring Sasuke.
"Words don't have eyes, nii-san." Sasuke said, oh so, innocently.
"Fuck…" Itachi groaned, Sasuke was so doing this on purpose.
Ain't: "Is not" "Isn't" "Are not"; we all know the English teachers ain't ever going to use this word, but we all love it anyways.
"Ain't no mountain high enough!" Sasuke sang out loud from the kitchen. Itachi could hear it as clear as day and it was giving him hell.
"Ain't no valley low enough!" Sasuke seriously needed to stop saying ain't or Itachi's going to make him pay…
"Ain't no river wiiiiide enough!" Okay, that's it.
Itachi got up and head towards the kitchen.
"To keep me fr- AHHHHHH!!!" Sasuke ran for his life.
Who wouldn't? Itachi was standing by the kitchen entrance, looking absolutely…intimidating. He looked like he wanted to kill his younger brother.
Or rape him.
Sasuke hoped for the latter, it is what he's been wanting ever since he started bugging the hell out of the weasel.
But, he wasn't going to risk finding out.
In all of history, only one person had managed to outrun Atalanta. That person was Hippomenes, but even he had to cheat to win her.
Itachi could maybe, possibly, most likely, somehow, almost, perhaps beat Atalanta. Thus we have our hypothesis: If Itachi could maybe, possibly, most likely, somehow, almost, perhaps beat Atalanta, then Sasuke is dead meat.
Of course we have to include all out variables and such, as in Sasuke could possibly be holding some secret weapon of doom.
But, alas, he wasn't.
So our conclusion in this science lesson of the scientific method is that: Sasuke is dead meat.
Or about to be raped. Either way, it's going to be painful.
And, as I was explaining my experiment, Itachi had caught up with a screaming Sasuke.
"Foolish. Little. Brother." Itachi breathed into the ear of his prisoner.
Sasuke gulped. This was not good, definitely not good.
At all.
"Did you know…" Itachi was pretty much licking the squirming boy's ears now.
Sasuke was getting maybe, just a little…hard.
"…How severe my punishment could be?" Itachi continued, nibbling at Sasuke's ears.
Oh yeah, Sasuke was definitely getting hard now. If the tightening in his pants wasn't an indication, then I don't know what is.
"…H-how…?" Sasuke managed to mutter that question just as Itachi pretty much shoved his whole hand down his pants.
"That depends on what you want right now…" Itachi moved his hand just a little.
And the rest of that would be up to your imagination, as I am too tired to write a decent lemon scene right now…
It was like Itachi just had a spark of inspiration on his English paper after he fucked his brother's brains out. It was a miracle, but what was more of a miracle was that Sasuke. Was. Asleep.
It was silent in the house for once. Itachi felt like finishing the poem he had in his head earlier, but that was such a waste of time.
Happy and inspired, Itachi continued with his essay.
…
BANG!!
SLAM!!
"HOME, SWEET HOME!!" Fugaku's voice rang through the house.
"Ain't nowhere like home!" Mikoto's voice followed after her husband.
Is today English impaired day or something?! Itachi banged his head.
No, no, no. He was not letting stupid parents get in the way of his inspiration. He was going to finish this shitty paper.
Just then, Fugaku opened the door to Itachi's room. He felt it…it was almost suffocating…
This…
Really…
HAPPY…
Aura…
"Well, someone got laid…" He muttered before leaving to see if he could too get laid, after all, Mikoto was in a pretty good mood today.
Itachi grimaced, no longer having the inspiration to write anymore.
When Sasuke wakes up, he's going to need another round with his little brother.
Haha…crappy ending…-.-
Well, I might have to put And So I Fell In Love on hiatus…Cause I can only think of crack and stupid things when I'm doing homework. Getting the plot going doesn't work when you're study…I've tried…
Sorry again for the wait guys…-.- 2 in the morning…ZZZzzzz…