A/N: Alright, so this one's in James' point of view. I gather that you've read so many fanfics in Lily's POV that you need a bit of James in your lives. I know I do :)

Oh simple thing where have you gone?

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

James

I walk with a little less pep to my step as I enter Hogwarts. I tilt my head up to see the graceful and ancient stone arches that shape my school. I note the engravings upon them that I've seen so many times. I shove my hands in my pockets, my mood dark even though it's the first day of school. I should be excited. Happy, even. I wait for the excited bursts in my stomach as I step into the Great Hall. I hear familiar voices, smiles, and hear familiar laughters. I wave at a couple of people whom are waving at me. My mood ceases to change, despite the fake smile that I've mastered. My mother would be ashamed of me right now. Before I came to school, all she would talk about was how, when I was at Hogwarts, I was to forget what was happening outside of these stone walls. I have to think jovially. I'm together with my mates. I get to see Lily every day, even if we get in a fucking row every second we talk. I just can't help myself when I think about outside these boundaries that I'm in. What kind of person would I be if I was so closed minded, so ignorant of the events occurring?

The War is constantly on my mind. I brood more often than I'd like, against my mother's wishes. I can't get over that people are getting murdered. Right now. At this very moment. And I'm here, in my school, safe. Is it fair?

I don't think it is.

The days seem darker, even if the sun is shining outside my criss crossed window. For so many years I've occupied myself with troubling over girls and my appearance and Lily and pranks, but now? I don't think it's fair to the people who have to fight for their lives from dawn until dusk. It should be me. I'd feel a hell of a lot more useful out of Hogwarts. I love the place-it's practically my home, but I've outgrown it. I'm tired of seeing the same old faces, hearing the same jokes that have been recycled. I don't feel particularly special that I'm in on all the private jokes that people have, and I don't feel that flattered that some birds giggle when they see me, and their cheeks tint an adorable rosy color. It's appreciated, but I don't use it to fuel my happiness or my pride any more.

I'd like to say that I've changed, but I really haven't. It's not like I actually share these thoughts with others, besides my mates.

"What are you thinking about?" asks Sirius, as we sit down at the far side of the table. Our usual spot.

I shake my head and sigh. "Nothing, really. Just...you know."

"I know." he frowns. "It's hard not to think about the War. Fucking Voldemort and his bloody cronies, acting like they're superior. I swear, if a Snape shows his repugnant face, you'll have to hold me back from snapping their neck."

"Don't even bring him up. Just another way for me to end up in Azkaban." I say, as if a terrible taste plagued my mouth. My nostrils flare at the mention of Snape. I stab my fork a bit too harshly into my Shepard's pie. Snape's a particularly filthy little shite that I happen to go to school with. He's my least favorite part of Hogwarts. Why? Because he loves the Dark Arts. If the Dark Arts was a religion, he'd be one of those freaks that literally lugged around their holy book, shoving their wretched beliefs down people's throats and singing awful songs about it. He's impossibly skilled at Potions, and was also mates with Evans.

I don't understand how that even happened. How could someone like him, the repugnant insect that he is, befriend a bird like Evans? How could she even accept that? She's too kind. Literally. I could never be as kind as she is, because I would surely die from holding my tongue for 99% of the time I walk about this Earth.

Remus sits down next to me, simaltaneously grabbing a roll and plunking it on his plate. "Have you guys seen Wormtail since the train? I thought he was following me, but when I looked behind me he wasn't there."

I shrug. "Pete's a big boy. He can take care of himself. He's probably in the bathroom or something."

"Speaking of Wormtail," says Padfoot a little more cheerfully. He nods towards our friend, who's talking to...to Esther Quinn! Peter's always had a thing for her.

I grin. "That's my boy," I declare proudly, wanting to sprint over and clap him on the back for his Gryffindor courage. It's difficult for Peter to speak to women. We all have our achilles heel, and that's always been a weakness of his. I'm proud of him. He's sort of like the little brother I never had. I think, no matter how far we drift apart after Hogwarts, that I'll always have a bit of a soft spot for the bloke. He's a bit stocky, but not fat. He has straw like hair that he struggles to keep tame every morning, and he does try to impress the birds of this school. If he only tried to actually speak to the girls, would he have a chance. Peter's a nice kid.

He's tried out for Quidditch loads of times, but the poor chap never has made the cut. It kills me to scratch his name off the tryouts list.

"Elena Grey looks unusually fit," comments Padfoot, as our attention resorts back to closer targets. I scan Elena from head to toe, admitting that her dark hair that cascaded down her back with her sun tanned olive skin does look rather good. She walks by casually, feeling our gazes on her. I look back down and scoop up more pie, however. She may be fit, but I'm not too interested.

"Yeah. " I answer offhandedly, and Remus nods in agreement.

"Did you guys do the Transfiguration summer work?" asks Remus worriedly, pouring pumpkin juice into his goblet. I can tell that he's itching to run up to the dormitories to snatch the assignment and discuss it lengthily "It was a bit tricky for me. Number fourteen..."

I scoff. "Moony, Moony, Moony. You worry too much, mate. Transfiguration's simple. You often forget that you have a best mate that's pretty skilled at it. I'll check it over when we get to the dorms, yeah?"

"Thanks, Prongs." he replies gratefully. His eyes flicker to my badge. "I just want to say that I'm really glad it's you. You know, for Head Boy. You'll be brilliant."

I thank Moony as Padfoot doubles over in laughter. "Prongs as Head Boy is still bloody strange, Moony don't deny it!"

"Your support is much appreciated," I laugh shortly.

"Think about all the rules we can find loopholes in-"

My excitement starts to return again, a warm feeling in the pit of my stomach that is so pleasing that if it were chocolate, I would eat it as fast as Moony does. "And the pranks we could plan-"

"And how we can finally add intuitive twerks to it,"adds Remus, his mischievous smile curling at his pale pink lips.

Suddenly, as Remus and Sirius chatter on exhileratedly about a master plan to open up the school year with a bang, I stretch my neck to look down the table. Towards the middle my eyes soften at Lily. She's throwing her head back laughing, putting her little hand over her mouth. Earnest is pouting a bit, and McKinnon is growing a little red in the face as she tries to conceal her apparent amusement. I can tell that Lily is poking fun at Earnest, and I can't help but want to snap a photograph with my mind. She's so-so-beautiful. Her green eyes sparkle as she says something loudly, despite Earnest's protest. She's so effortlessly and naturally beautiful.

And I'm not talking about her physical appearance. I went over that WAY back when (Fourth Year, I recall). Over the last couple years I've been falling for her personality more and more. Why? Because she's the opposite of boring. Here's the thing with the birds at Hogwarts. They think that blokes find it fit if they dumb themselves down, and do everything we tell them to do. At first it's brill, but then the relationship or fling gets dreadfully dull. With Lily, it's never been like that. She's always been a challenge. Stubborn, she is. Even if she's tired, it's like she never runs out of ammunition. That, and she doesn't hold back with her intelligence. Our banter is some of the best and smartest conversations that I've ever had (even though most of the time she makes me sound like a plonker, and I temporarily throw a fit).

It makes me mad. So mad, that I'm convinced that I belong in an asylum. An asylum for the unrequited love-givers.

What I hate the most is our rows. And we have a bloody LOAD of them. It's about stupid little things, too. We seem to get irritated at the strangest things. Like this afternoon, with the whole prefect thing. Perfect example. She makes me so angry. That's the thing that puzzles me about her. She can make me so happy and so angry all at the same time.

I can never figure that girl out.

Lily catches my gaze, and I feel my heart skip a beat. There's a potent energy between our gazes, and for some reason-she captivates me. I can't break this. She chews on her lip adorably, before breaking the small connection we had. I restrain from scowling in frustration as I turn back to my food.

Suddenly, it's like my ears start working again. I look up at Padfoot to see him nearly scarlet in the face with amusement. "-Prongs? PRONGS? HEY! I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

"I hear you, I hear you Pads! Agrippa, pipe down so the whole bloody Hall is saved from hearing your girlish shrieks." I grin.

"What do you say we sneak out to Hogsmeade?" he says in a thrilled whisper. "For old times sake? Moony doesn't approve," Moony's light eyes are concentrated rather hard on his green beans. Padfoot playfully glares at him as Moony cocks a side smile of triumph. He's always been one to stand by his own decisions. "but he's a pussy, and I know you aren't."

I raise my eyebrows. "I don't know..."

"We need firewhiskey. Who else is going to spike the punch? We need to stock up for this year, anyway!" he pushes, his charcoal grey eyes glinting with delight. He's basking in the thought that we're seventh years now. That we have the reins for the school. We're in charge. And that means a shite load of Gryffindor house parties.

How else am I supposed to drown my problems and wash them away, anyway? "I'm in." I agree, loving the rush that floods my veins. It's like a drug, and I'm glad I'm feeding into my old habits again. I know I shouldn't. But why refuse when it feels so bloody great?

Just as my smile begins to stretch even wider at the thought of some fun, Price walks over to Evans . Ethan Price and Lily Evans have been together for two years. Price is actually a good bloke, as much as I want to believe that he is a slimy git. With his last two girlfriends, he was nobody but a gentleman. There was no cheating, no backstabbing, no sly comments that were demeaning to women. I respect him completely. That's what makes it so hard.

The one thing that I hate about coming back to school is seeing them together. The way her eyes light up as they spot him, and the way she throws her arms around him with a shriek of delight. How I wish I was him. To feel her arms around me, to smell her scent, to be the cause of her smile.

I tear my eyes away from them, as Remus pats me on the back assuringly. He gives me a slight smile, and though I hate pity, I accept his. Sirius shoots the bloke a glare as he kisses Lily and sits down next to her.

"He's got nothing on you, Prongs." he says reassuredly, a scowl on his face as Lily laughs at something he says. "I mean look at his...er...look at his face! It's ghastly! Can you imagine the nurses at Mungo's when he popped out?" He held an invisible baby in his hands and his face twisted into one that is horrified. "'What is it, Mary?' 'I'm not sure!' 'It looks so deformed that I wonder if it's a person at all!' 'This can't be right!'"

It was a valiant attempt that I rewarded with a pleased smile, but Padfoot actully liked the bloke. No one can say they hate Ethan Price even if they tried. There has never been a reason to. Even Padfoot can't find anything substantial about him to degrade his reputation a bit.

Peter returns from the Ravenclaw table, a pleasant flush on his face. He notices our attention on Lily and her boyfriend, and he understands immediately as he sits next to Sirius. His freckled face grants me a kind side smile, his watery blue eyes warm.

"Don't worry, Prongs." he says in an attempt to be cheery. "Everything'll be alright in the end. Promise."

I drown my pumpkin juice, wishing it was firewhiskey. I long for the burning sensation that it grants my throat, the artificial satisfaction that washes over my senses. "We're going to Hogsmeade tonight."

Peter nods his blonde head. "Sounds fun!"

"Moony is coming too," says Sirius with a wicked grin on his face.

Remus groans, massaging his forehead like he did when he was unhappy. "Why must you drag me into your stupid endeavors? This whole Hogsmeade trip is extremely naive." He fishes for a decent excuse not to attend besides the obvious possibility of getting in trouble. He waves his hand at me. "And what example would James be if he was caught? He does have a new position. It can't be the same as last year!"

I scoff in protest as I scoop up some potatoes. "Me being Head bloody Boy isn't changing a thing. I'm not letting an idiotic promotion get in the way of living my life. It's not like I asked for it. It's seventh year, for Agrippa's sake!"

"You're just stubborn as a cow."muttered Remus, sipping his water moodily. "You know you're proud of being Head Boy. Denying it is pointless."

"That's like saying I'm not proud to be a Gryffindor." I observe critically as I stuff more food into my mouth. It provides a strange comfort to me. Food has always been a crutch. Thank Merlin I don't have fat bloke genes, because we all know that I would be a lonely, obese man if I had inherited my Uncle Albert's unfortunate DNA. "Which is just plain bloody false. If I was put in any other house I'd have probably left this place a while back."

"There has to be a small part of you that's proud, though." chirps Peter. "I know I would be!"

"You'd be proud if you were made captain of the chess club," retorts Remus a bit harshly. As Peter slouches a bit, Remus quickly saves himself. "You haven't gotten many leadership roles, I mean. It's only natural that you would be thrilled."

"Can we not talk about myself having more responsibility this year that I don't necessarily want?" I ask aggressively, not wishing to discuss such a depressing topic anymore. I don't want to remind myself how easy it is going to be to fail at this new fucking job that I was handed.

"Dumbledore must have been smoking a pretty thick joint or something to have put you in this position, Prongs." says Sirius rationally, as if it were the only explanation. " Not that you won't be great, but there are plenty of other blokes who would weirdly kill for your job."

"If I were you, I'd just be glad that I got it instead of Snape." says Peter fairly. The kid makes a decent point. I would take a muggle revolver and promptly shoot myself in the face if Snivellus was made Head with no hesitation. The terror he would cause in this place...people would be sprinting for cover. Well, they do that already when he hobbles down the hallway but think of the utter HORROR!

Sirius almost laughed as he forked some more sauteed chicken into his mouth. "Dumbledore's not dense, Peter. He wouldn't make a bloke that has a knack for the Dark Arts and unnaturally greasy hair and pathetic, awkward interaction with women to be a-" He shudders for cinematic effect. My lips curl into a smug smile. "Role model for this place. Dumbledore may be off his rocker, but he's not a muppet*."

Remus roars with laughter, his soft eyes gleeful. "Snape as a role model. Ah, that'll be the bloody day, yeah?"

"Can you imagine?" exclaims Peter in fake horror. "I would fear leaving our dormitory!"

"Walking in the corridors would be a bloody nightmare." says Sirius. "Not for me, of course. For him. I don't think McGonagall would be able to control me if I hex him on sight. She would probably have to restrain herself from doing so !The bastard already thinks he's Merlin already! Him being Head would just mean that he would get up higher on the horse that he obviously doesn't have." I nearly choke on my food, trying to keep myself from doubling over with laugher. "It would be more of a reflex than anything. It's already hard enough not to do it now."

We sit in comfortable silence after another round of chortling and clapping each other on the backs to get oxygen into our systems.

Moony suddenly says conversationally, "Thank you for respecting my decision about not attending tonight's little adventure, by the way."

I raise an eyebrow. "We don't, though."

"You have to come!" cries Peter. My Agrippa, he's loud today. "It's tradition!"

Remus groans again. "It's a tradition that's been nothing but trouble. Third year, Prongs breaks his foot!" I remember that! Damn branch came out of nowhere! "Fifth year Padfoot basically shags a random stranger that happened to be twice his age at Three Broomsticks-"

"Now now Moony, let's not be provocative at the dinner table." interrupts Sirius loudly. "Think of the children!"

He glares sharply at Padfoot. "Fourth year, Peter nearly passes out from scurrying around so much-"

"CHANGING THE SUBJECT, " interrupts Peter loudly, not enjoying the horrid memories of his chubbiness. He had worked hard to slim down over the last few years. "SOME FOOD EH?"

"-And then last year, I nearly drown in the river that we passed by on Prongs' little 'secret' passageway back to the castle!"

"I didn't think it looked that dodgy! How was I supposed to know?!" I protest resentfully, the corners of my mouth twitching downward at the memory.

Seeing Moony's arms flailing about in the rushing water as Padfoot jumped in to save him...that was one of the scarier experiences of my life. The whole way home I took all of the insults that Remus shot at me with clear anger, taking each hit and accepting my mistake. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself for that.

"-So excuse me for declining to go on such a vapid adventure." finishes Remus in a worked up huff. In a nervous flutter, he curls his hands into fists and relaxes them again.

"You can't base something on what happened in the past," tries Peter, though his heart is not fully in that statement.

Padfoot chews on his chicken and nonchalantly adds, "We can't all be ninnies, Moony."

Though Remus is nothing close to a ninny, it's something to tease him by, because it was so ironic. He was such a far cry from being a ninny it was extraordinary. Moony was one of the bravest people I've ever had the pleasure to know. To carry the burden he does would tear apart some people. I know I wouldn't survive it. I think we all admire him, and find it amusing how he struggles to stay in line with school rules when he hangs out with a band of lunatics like Padfoot and I.

"When you all get into trouble, don't come sobbing to me begging for support because you won't get it." snaps Remus defensively, cleaning the remains of his plate with a neat scoop of his fork.

We merely laugh in response, and as Remus attempts to appear composed, we know he's hiding a laugh as well.

"Potter," says Lily flatly, brushing some of her bright hair out of her face.

"Evans," I reply with a cheeky smile. "How was supper?"

We're waiting outside the Great Hall for McGonagall to show us to our offices. Some students actually believed the absurd notion that we had our own private dormitories (I can only dream), but it was just a place to work out our Head duties. I don't expect it to be anything special.

Lily blushes, probably remembering shoving her tongue down Price's throat. I restrain myself from vomiting. "It was nice, actually. It's good to see everyone again. It's crazy how people evolve over the summer, yeah?"

"I guess." I shove my hands in my pockets, feeling uncomfortable.

She cranes her neck back into the Great Hall, looking antsy. She taps her foot against the stone ground as the clamor caused by our peers around us slowly fades away. Lily chews on her lip.

Aren't you afraid that you're going to bite your poor lip off, Evans?

She looks at me curiously. "Excuse me?"

Fuck. Did I say that aloud?

"Well," I say, grinning a bit."I've noticed that you-er-tend to chew on your lip there when you get nervous." She raises her ginger eyebrows. "Chewing being an understatement. You actually knaw at it like some kind of rabid animal. Your lips are your friends, Evans. Relax! McGonagall will be here any moment now."

She looks half taken aback, half amused. I probably look like a raving idiot right now. She cocks a brilliant smile. "Of course you would notice something like that, Potter. It's really nothing, though. I've been doing it for the longest time. It's become more of a habit, really. For years, now."

A very adorable habit, I might add.

"Stop now before you hurt yourself." she says with aggravation, looking back through the massive entry doors again.

I said it aloud again?! FUCK! I need to stop doing that!

She crosses her arms across her chest. Which looks good. Very good. LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY GOD DAMN IT. WOMEN ARE NOT TOYS! But...they're so...POTTER, BY MERLIN SHUT YOUR FACE AND LOOK UP AND BE NORMAL FOR ONCE.

Giving myself a pep talk always does the trick.

I awkwardly rub the back of my neck and part my eyes from Lily's chest.

McGonagall suddenly marches through the doors, the familiar stern look upon her aged face comforting. She's always been my favorite teacher. She doesn't always show it, but I know I'm her favorite student. Why wouldn't she love me? I'm top of the class in her class.

"Good Evening, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans." she says to us curtly. She doesn't really stop in front of us to chat. She's the kind of person who has so much leadership skills that when she speaks she expects us to follow her voice. Our common sense at school rusty from days laying about the beach, she stops midway up the corridor. "Are you two going to gape at me like that, or are you going to follow me?"

Lily and I exchange looks as we rush to keep up with McGonagall's impossible pace. She's talking about something-probably congratulating us on our positions and blah blah blah. I'm more paying attention to Lily's flushed and embarrassed face. She hates being outed by teachers. I meet her eyes and I give her a reassuring grin. She turns away. Basically feels like a little slap in the face. Ah, what a normal start to the year.

Dear lord, McGonagall's pace can't be human. How is she doing this in heels?

We're nearby Dumbledore's office, I've noticed. I gaze out onto the courtyard that my eyes are so familiar to seeing. I can't help but adore the lush grass, the ancient benches, the little trees. My mates and I hang around here fairly often. It's chalked full of good memories that I would never trade for anything.

We take a sharp left at the end of the hall and come to a door that I don't think I've ever noticed. It reads "Administration Only".

I suddenly feel much more dignified than I ever have at school, feeling important and entitled.

Who am I kidding? I feel like this all the time! But it's a good feeling, and being an admin fuels this wonderful feeling.

Lily looks at it in near amazement, and I nearly chuckle at her reaction as McGonagall opens the the door with a brisk click. The door hovers open and McGonagall steps back. Lily pushes the ancient wood forward and we enter a well lit room full of books. And when I say full of books, I'm being literal.

The majority of walls around us are stacked with endless amounts of books, encyclopedias and textbooks. One wall has a series of slots that look like slim cubbies that I used to use in prelim school. Each slot is labeled in careful and precise handwriting with something like "Play by play Recordings: Quidditch 1977-1978", "Rounds Schedules - September 1977. It ranges from school sports to grades. The last two slots read, "Head Boy" and "Head Girl". I get my own mailbox! Wicked. I feel my dimples forming as my pleased smirk deepens.

There's a circular table in the middle of the rather spacey room, the last light left of the day reflecting onto it from the long window in between a couple bookshelves. Four chairs are pushed in tightly around the mahogany table, and atop of it is a basket full of scones, and muffins. I notice in the far corner of the room there's even a coffee maker. My hand itches to grab a blueberry scone, fill up a coffee cup, and sit down at the table to look professional.

I look at Lily, who's grazing her hand across the table in awe. She looks over her shoulder at me and her face breaks into a blazing, and wide smile. Her eyes seem to mirror it.

"Isn't this exciting?" she mouths to me, beaming.

"This is where you will be sorting out and performing most of your Head duties." explains McGonagall from behind us, striding forward next to me as Lily 's attention snaps to her. "This is also where I'll expect to meet you to check up and touch base about several school affairs. You will also be responsible for school events, as you well know." We both look at her hopefully, and she nearly rolls her eyes. "There will be no dances this year, either."

"But Professor-" Lily and I say together, in almost a pleading voice. Our school hasn't seen anything close to a school dance in decades. Probably since the last Triwizard Tournament that happened, and that wasn't even at Hogwarts.
"That's enough, both of you." She snaps, clearly having argued about the subject several times.
"Please?"I ask.
She pauses, glaring at both of us, before sighing helplessly.

"Nonetheless," she says strongly, with a little smile on her face. "We may make some arrangements for something like a dance. Perhaps something like a small social gathering in the Hall after exams at the end of the year." Lily looks as if she wants to literally pounce on that idea. "I'm not sure Dumbledore, or the committee would approve, but it's about time this school have a bit of fun."
Lily and I almost die of shock. McGonagall speaking so comfortably about fun and school was...well, shocking.

She leaves us shortly after, with a sharp comment of "I expect that you know where your dormitories are!"

Lily and I couldn't help but snoop around in our little office. It smelled a bit dingy, but besides that it was brilliant. Lily pulled out a book and was flipping through it with such awe that I wondered if it had the cure to cancer in it or something like that. My hands in my pockets, I peek about the room, looking for a secret compartment or something out of the ordinary. I find a slim entryway almost directly left from the main entrance.

"Evans, have you seen this yet?" I query curiously as I step towards it.

She struggles to see what I'm talking about. "What is it?"

Her red head is soon by my side as peer inside. It's pitch black. Before I reach for my wand, I hear a small voice whisper, "Lumos,"

From the tip of Lily's wand, the room comes into the dim light. Shadows lurk in the corners, but I'm pleased that there are windows nearly everywhere. The room's a good bit smaller than the last room we were in, but it was much cleaner. There was no dust or cobweb in sight. A long table is in the middle of the room, one end with a chair and the other with one as well. More bookshelves clutter the walls, creeping around the windows and nearly occupying every wall space there was. I gazed at the moon outside of a large window as Lily disappeared from my side. When I was younger, Mum used to tell me that wherever I was in the world, if I looked at the moon she'd be looking at it from wherever she was. A warm, fuzzy feeling came over me at the short moments that I stared at the round shaped sphere, glittering gloriously in the sea of blackness.

"I think this is the study room," Lily says, snapping me out of my daze. My eyes find her at the far side of the room, a book in her hand. She places it back and walks towards me.

"This is really amazing, isn't it?" she comments. Though I can't see her face clearly, I know she's smiling. "I never thought...it's such an honor, you know?"

"Eh." I shrug my shoulders.

"You can't tell me that you aren't even a little proud of yourself for being here."

"Okay, maybe I am." I admit. "But only a little."

"Studying here is going to be great," she gushes. I can imagine her here, studying hard like she always does right before an exam. "It's so secluded and quiet."

I don't reply, because I don't have anything to say about it. I'm not particularly amazed by this place. I'm not looking forward to studying late at night. I look up at the moon again, and long for summer nights, where Padfoot and I would run wild. Throw parties, snog girls, hang around. And talking to my Mum is always great, especially when Dad's in a mood. He often is, because of the war. It puts more stress on his shoulders, and he tends to let it out on me. He's not the type to hold back and pack down his feelings for the sake of others. If he's angry, you know it the minute he comes through the door. Mum is sensible, and listens to me. I can't deeply talk with many people in my life. Sirius is one person, and Mum is another. They both are what keep me going every day.

There was a pause before she asks me, "What are you thinking about, Potter?"

"My mum." I reply honestly. "Though you may think I'm joking, I'm not. The moon always reminds me of her. It looks beautiful tonight. Just like Mum is."

Lily stares up at me, her green eyes wide. I try not to look down at her. She giggles, "James Potter thinking about his Mum? Strange."

What is so fucking strange about it? Is it awful that I appreciate my Mum and that I miss her advice? Why is it so much of a bloody shock to Lily that I love my family? It's like she sees me as someone completely different from who I actually am. Sometimes I just want her and her judgemental self out of my life.

"Yeah." I reply moodily. "Real strange."

"I didn't mean to offend you!" she says quickly.

"Too late." I reply frostily, turning around and heading for the exit. I'm tired of this. All of it. I'm tired of this on and off crap that we always go through. One minute she's alright and the next she spits insults at me. I'm tired of loving a girl who doesn't even want to make the effort to see who I actually am. Is she even worth it?

"Potter," she says with a defeated tone, her small footsteps following me out of our office into the corridor.

I want to keep walking forward. To leave her in the dust. I wanted to be as cold as a bird could be when she was angry, leaving the bloke in the dust to wonder about where he went wrong. For some reason, I turn around and look at her.

"What do you want?" I ask with an earnest tone.

Her eyebrows come together. "What I said back there-"

"Lily, answer the bloody question. What. Do. You. Want."

"I was just going to apologize but since you're being so rude I've changed my mind." she snaps, crossing her arms.

"I'm done with this." I point between us, my tone impatient. I am trying so bloody hard not to raise my voice. "I'm done with this naive banter that we have all the time. One minute you hate me and the other you talk like nothing's ever happened between us! I'm tired of it. Just tell me what you want!"

"What are you talking about?" she cries indignantly.

"I'm talking about us! You and me! You've got to choose now, Lily, or so help me I might pitch myself off the Astronomy tower! Are we friends, or are we not?"

Her jaw sets angrily. "I don't understand what you're implying. Why do I have to make this decision?"

"Because apparently I have no bloody say in anything between us!" I argue hotly, feeling the blood rising in my neck.

Lily pouts at me, and bites her lip again. She looks as if this is the most difficult decision she's ever had to make. She studies me as if I'm some kind of specimen, and though at other times i would bask in this oppurtunity to have Lily literally staring at me for more than two seconds, I feel really uncomfortable and vulnerable right now.

Merlin, this girl thinks too much.

"Do you think we could be friends?" she asks me cautiously, toying with a strand of her hair. Or I think she asks me. The question coming from her mouth is so absurd that I'm almost positive that it was my imagination.

"What?"

"Do you think we could be friends?" she asks again, a little less nervous now. I can't believe my ears. This is actually happening. "But just friends. Not anything more." She gives me a look. "Strictly friends."

"I get it." I say, trying to hide my happiness at this moment by masking it with an annoyed tone of voice. "Okay, so we'll be friends."

We stare at each other awkwardly for a couple of minutes, unsure of what to do now. 'How does one be friends with James Potter?' I'll bet she's wondering. I'm all for it, but she still looks cautious and even a little scared. Is being friends with me that terrifying? I mean, I haven't done much to her.

I did set her hair on fire...but that was years ago. Ah, and there was that time where I warped her potion to blow up in her face. That didn't end well. And the asking out thing was a bit over the top...and the pointless arguments...

God, I was an arsehole. A huge, fucking arsehole.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out. She seems surprised, and I surpress a blush. "For the past couple years I haven't exactly been-er-friendly."

"I haven't either." she says nobly. "I don't think we gave each other a real chance."

I struggle for my eyes not to pop out of my head. "See, there's this thing that friends do," I grin widely at her, and she returns it with a 'What are you doing, Potter?' smirk. "They call each other by...wait for it...their first names."

"How strange!" she laughs. "Do you think we'll be able to do it?"

"If we try." I smile. I hold out my hand. "Friends?"

She stares at my hand for a split second before placing her hand in mind and squeezing it. Her touch is like a hot and cold sensation, my stomach somersaulting the minute her skin touched mine. I look at her sparkling eyes, and find that she was already looking at me in the first place. This feeling can't be just me. Can it?

"Friends." Lily agrees reluctantly.

I wonder if she feels as I do-sort of relieved, but at the same time...scared out of my mind.

Then the memory hits me like a truck. One little thing...one little stupid thing could ruin this.

Does she remember what happened last year? Does she recall what we did? I never breathed a word about it to anyone. Though I wanted to brag to everyone that it finally happened, I held my tongue. Though we weren't particularly conscious... anyway, the morning after she walked around like nothing happened. She doesn't know. And she doesn't have to. She'll never be friends with me if she does.

A/N: I think I like writing James a bit more than Lily :) Anyway, leave a review before you leave! Your opinion means a lot.

*dimwit, or stupid