"What's your name by the way Keeper?" The doctor was scanning her with his screw driver, as he did with things that he found interesting.
"Drii, I am Drii – Do you mind turning your sonic device off, this is a library."
"Right," He put it back in his trouser pocket and managed to look guilty.
"Would you like to access works under your names sirs?" Drii inquired politely.
"Yes please," The doctor winks.
"Category accessed – any specifications?"
"Nope." The time lord pops the word.
"All genres permitted, café location selected."
The teleport enabled. They were taken to another location.
"The café is empty and comfortable, please enjoy your visit, for temporal reasons some works have been left out, because they contain fore knowledge that may be applicable to the reality you inhabit."
She disappeared.
They sat down and a small, holographic screen appeared in front each of them from small mounted information servers.
Jack got down to business, "Genre – smut." He said out loud as he picked out the genre on the screen. The listing popped up, along with tags.
"Oh, look at that!" The fixed point exclaimed, and began hooting, "Whoa that is hot! Who's the author?"
The doctor left his screen and went to look at what Jack was looking at, and turned red, "That is never, ever happening!"
The Master ties the Doctor up…. He places the gag on him, pulling the hair painfully as he does…
Jack pulled up another, and scanned it, "Humm, TARDISgirl has taste." He kept pulling up the tagged pairings. There's so many here, some are acceptable, others are more unpalatable.
Tag-DalekXDoctor.
"That is sick Doctor."
The doctor knitted his brows together in disbelief. Really what did people have in their heads?
Tag-TARDIS SEX
The doctor's shifts himself guiltily. And Jack catches it.
Noooooo.
"You've never had a lot of lonely nights Jack- Knowing you,you haven't? Or accidentally gotten sex pollen under your skin?"
Sex pollen?
"Someone have me a packet in a planetary bazaar, I didn't know it was there, I wanted hydrangeas for my garden room…" the Doctor pulled his ear lobe, "That was almost painful… It took days to get my libido under control…. I ended up restraining my own self….." His words trailed, "It was for my safety not some fetish, so don't think of saying anything untoward."
He winced at the memory. Even time lords were susceptible to sex pollen.
"The TARDIS is mine at any rate, it makes the bond closer."
"Is that the way it is? Then we should 'bond' too."
He put his hand on the doctor's, which is draped casually on the desk. The hand is jerked away.
"Rose must off loved the way you dance." Jack has to keep from blushing himself because the idea of the way the Doctor must dance is too much even for him.
Rose – now Rose was pretty too, and she had quite a bottom.
The doctor glowered at Jack.
"Hey, I may be fifty first centaury, but am still human." The fix point retorted easily.
The doctor scowled at him further.
"You're not going to eat me for being human?" His lips twitched up rakishly.
"Never mind – just never- mind."
Just then they heard voices emanating from the atmosphere, dozens of separate, one sided conversations. They were, it sound like, them.
Adventure…. Yes…. Yes…. Angst… torment… romance…. Slashfic…. Cross over….
Drii appeared in a flurry, "I'm soo sorry - we're having an influx of arrivals – traffic."
Harry Potter must marry Jenny…. Dean and Sam … Castiel in purgatory again, no he can't … The doctor…doctor who….
She bowed quickly, and pulled a console into being, "Stabilizing reality barriers. That should stop it."
The voices stopped.