Dreams, Ed found quickly, were his way into his subconscious. Little good it did him, as he really had no desire at all to find his memories. He didn't know what drove him to say he wanted to quit, except that it was extremely true. He didn't want to go back, at least not anytime soon. He couldn't look ahead far enough to decide how he might feel about it in the future. However, sitting in the hospital without anything to do but ponder his predicament, it became clear that going back to work was not in his best interest.

Lounging around the hospital didn't last long, however, as he hadn't been in terrible shape when he'd arrived. The doctors had just needed to make sure he hadn't sustained a head injury that would cause problems. So Ed was free to go back to his apartment. His apartment turned out to be even less inviting than the hospital. He was alone, and he had no real desire to leave or seek company, although it would have served as a good distraction.

No, alone in his apartment left him with two things: his thoughts and his dreams. Much to his own despair, and against his wishes, he began to remember things. His first memory came back to him through a desperately vivid dream that he was unable to forget. Its only saving grace was how brief it was. He was running through the rain in the dark, through the city, ducking into an alley, clutching a knife wound to his gut. He stopped abruptly when a man stepped out from the shadows, filled with fierce determination and wild anger. And that was it.

After realizing he couldn't forget this memory, he tried his hardest to distract himself with books and alchemy, and pondering his future - but he couldn't stand the thought of putting effort into leaving his apartment. He called Al a few times over the next couple days, but nothing proved distracting enough to avoid his next realization.

The next revelation of his past came to him in a sudden flash as he was lying in bed, waiting to fall asleep. The radio was on, the news spoken through a male voice. It was Ed's only current connection to the outside world, and it was all he really cared to keep. It was rather boring, until...

"We've just received word from an inside source in Investigations. Four bodies have been found in an apartment building, on South Side Street. Cause of death for each of the victims seems to be open head injuries. Their bodies are bruised and bloodied. In other words, it seems they were bludgeoned to death. The names of the victims have yet to be released-"

Ed reached out and clicked it off, shaking. -bludgeoned to death- He squeezed his eyes, wishing he hadn't just remembered that. Blood all over his shaking hands. Unfocused eyes staring at the wall. The whimpering coming from his own throat as he smashed his fists into the man's head over and over and - he couldn't breathe - blood on his face - tears too - the fresh waves of anger and fear and - they needed to die -

He gasped and clutched his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He hadn't... The phone rang sudden and shrill and awful. Without thinking, he reached over and picked up the phone. He brought it to his ear, and found he couldn't hear anything past the ringing in his ears. What was he doing? He couldn't talk now.

Still, he found himself whispering, "Hello?"

His ears continued to ring.

"I - I can't hear you. Just... just give me a minute." He waited, and the ringing went on and on and on... And then it faded. He breathed a sigh of relief, his seized shoulders relaxing. His hand holding the phone shook horribly, and he couldn't get the images out of his mind, but he could hear. He cleared his throat. "Are you still there?"

Roy Mustang's voice rang back, clear as day. "I am. I wanted to check up on you for multiple reasons, but... it doesn't sound like you're doing too hot."

Ed blinked fiercely, trying to push aside the images of the dead men. "No, I..." He closed his eyes, bile rising up his throat. They just wouldn't go away. "I can't..." Whatever he was trying to express through his scattered thoughts was lost when his dinner shoved its way to the back of his throat. He dropped the phone and grabbed the garbage pail before emptying his stomach of its contents. He was unfortunately loud enough for Roy to hear him over the phone.

Even after his stomach emptied, he felt no better. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and picked up the phone. "Still there?" He couldn't stop shaking...

"Ed, are you really okay?"

Ed took a deep, calming breath. Roy, saying his first name so solemnly... It was strangely grounding. He couldn't make himself lie this time. Not while he was so shaken. Not after Roy's voice had grounded him. He was in his own apartment, safe, on the phone. That's all he had to think about. "No, I'm not okay," he answered softly.

Roy hesitated. "I tried to get into your medical records."

Ed swallowed the bitter aftertaste of vomit. "Tried?"

"I gave up. I trust there's a reason you won't tell me."

The words flew off Ed's lips before he knew it. "I was raped." Silence followed the statement, his heart pounding in his ears. What was he saying to his boss? The man he'd had a crush on since he turned eighteen? How could he make Roy worry like that? How could he give Roy such ammunition? What secrets will I spill next? "Roy?" he whispered.

"I'm coming over."

"Right now?" Ed asked, eyebrows drawing together. It was really dark outside... He suddenly recalled running through the streets in the same kind of darkness, bleeding into his hand. "No!" he exclaimed suddenly, shooting to his feet, breath heavy. "Don't go alone. It's dark and late - I'm fine!"

"I'll be okay. You're obviously in no condition to be alone and-"

"Don't go out alone, dammit!" His chest was heaving with emotion now. Why wasn't he listening?

Roy paused again. "Would you feel better if we met halfway?"

A lump rose in Ed's throat. Leaving the apartment? With unfocused eyes and darkness greeting him in the streets? He fell back onto the bed. But Roy was coming over anyway. He couldn't just let him go out alone. "Out... outside the playground, then?"

"Sure. I'll see you in a few minutes."

Ed stood and slammed the phone on the cradle, heart pounding. When had he become so afraid of being alone outside at night? He was being pathetic. Either way, he had to get there as soon as possible - just to make sure Roy was safe. He threw his shoes on as quickly as he could and stomped out of his apartment without his jacket. He took off down the sidewalk at a brisk pace, thoughts racing, street lights flickering above him.

The cool air against his hot forehead felt nice. If only he could focus on it for a moment before a noise made him jump and glance behind him. For the life of him, he couldn't figure out why he was suddenly so frightened of walking alone after dark. Nothing had changed. Before he'd regained any of his memories, he'd just wanted to be alone, but for some reason, knowing he'd been hunted down at some point-

He shoved the thoughts down. It wasn't going to help his nerves and he had to do this. It turned out to be the best thing for him, leaving the apartment. Absolutely nothing of note happened as he walked, and slowly he began to relax. Nothing was going to happen. That lost week - it was a freak accident, unlikely to ever happen again.

Upon calming down, he found he really did enjoy the cool air and the chance to stretch his legs. It gave him a clarity of mind that he hadn't been able to attain while cooped up in his apartment. He was quick to realize that he needed to get back into the world and stop brooding. He had to do something - buy groceries or go to work or visit some friends. It also helped him realize he was absolutely starving, even though, or probably because, he'd thrown up only fifteen minutes ago.

Just as he considered looking for a restaurant that was still open at this hour, he reached the playground. It was empty, and dark - unsettling, as Ed had never taken a close look at it while it was not crawling with children. He stopped, though, and waited loyally by the entrance for Roy to show up.

He didn't have to wait long. Roy turned the corner not even half a minute later, shoulders back and relaxed as always. Ed didn't try to pretend he was feeling any better than he was. He was still a touch paranoid, still shaking slightly. Roy took in his apparent state of mind with calm acceptance. They didn't greet each other or so much as grunt. Their eyes met and they started to walk. They were perfectly silent, until -

"I guess you've remembered something."

Ed shoved his hands into his pockets. "Yeah. Something."

"Does it have to do with the... thing you mentioned over the phone?"

Ed paused. Did it? "Not directly."

Roy pressed his lips together. So Ed wasn't up for talking. "You don't look too good."

"I think I have a mild fever. I've been pretty warm since this morning."

"Nauseous?"

Ed scoffed. "Hardly."

"That sounded distinctly like vomiting over the phone."

That gave Ed pause. "Ever feel like throwing up when you think about Ishval?" A tense silence followed the question - all the answer Ed could have ever wanted. "It was like that." Roy grunted, and finally dared to look down at the blond. Ed had a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead, and his hair was braided, but it was falling out and haphazard, like he hadn't taken it out since he got out of the hospital. He smelled, too, like he hadn't bathed in a while. Dark circles sat under his eyes, too, like he hadn't been able to sleep well.

They reached Ed's front door and stepped inside. Ed closed the door behind them while Roy got a good look at the state of things. The half kitchen was untouched, but the other side of the room that counted as Ed's bedroom was a mess. In his hurry to leave, he'd knocked over the garbage pail containing his vomit, and his clothes were everywhere. His bed was partially stripped, and all manner of litter and garbage lay around.

"I'm starving," Ed said with a yawn. "Do you want anything?"

Roy met that golden gaze evenly. "What's going on, Ed?" Ed set his jaw, and the two of them stared at each other for an intense moment. Again, so unlike the blond, Ed broke the stare down first by turning around to search the fridge for food. Roy's eyes raked across Ed's back and buttocks, a pastime he would have been eager to revisit under any other circumstances, and was quick to realize Ed had lost weight, probably starting from the week he'd disappeared.

Ed spoke suddenly, throwing away old food. "I thought at first that I didn't want to know what happened the week I went missing. I knew I'd been raped, and - well, who would want to remember that?" He sniffed some leftover food and dumped it into the garbage. "But then I came back here, and I started to remember a few things. I wanted to stay in the dark, at first..." he trailed off, hands hanging limp at his sides.

"And now?" Roy pried quietly.

Ed shrugged lamely. "I don't know anymore. I still don't want to, but I don't think I have a choice."

"And you weren't curious at first?"

"I was initially," he conceded, resuming his rummaging through the fridge.

Roy stared for a while longer at Ed's back and figured the blond wasn't going to start talking anytime soon. At least, not without prompt. "Are you going to tell me what you remember, or are you going to make me ask?" Ed closed the fridge and dumped an armful of food onto the kitchen table. Some cheese, an assortment of random berries, and some sliced turkey. He pulled out two cups, filled both with water, and set one down for himself and Roy. Then he sat and started to slice the cheddar. Roy thought Ed wasn't going to answer at all, but he was proven wrong quickly.

"I remember running in the streets. I was bleeding, right here." He prodded one of his many injuries that had been treated in the hospital. "Then some guy sprang up out of nowhere. That was the first thing I remembered." Roy sat down, figuring this was going to be a long conversation. Ed shoved some grapes and strawberries into his mouth, and took a long swig of water. "The next thing I remember..." His hands went still again, and it took Roy a moment to realize his hands weren't as still as he thought they were. Ed was shaking. He clenched his hands into hard fists and pressed them firmly on the table.

Roy looked up to examine Ed's face, and was surprised to meet Ed's fiercely angry expression. "I was-" He stopped short and looked away, to the left. He worked his jaw, and Roy was quick to recognize his attempt at trying not to cry. The blond cleared his throat. "I was on my knees, and this guy was on the ground in front of me, and I was - I just kept punching him. I didn't - It wasn't like punching. I was smashing his head in, completely hysterical. He was dead but I couldn't stop." His voice faltered then, and he slouched against the back of his chair, closing his eyes. He was so damn tired...

Roy's soft voice invaded his miserable thoughts. "You think it might be related to the rape."

Ed shrugged listlessly. "Why else would I kill four people?" He sighed, finally opening his eyes to stare at his desser. "I really need to get out of this place more often. I was getting stir crazy without realizing it." He clenched a fist. "I also need to find out what happened. I didn't want to know before, but now I have to find out why I..."

"I think your earlier conjecture is most likely," Roy replied softly, "but you're right on all accounts. You should try to find out what happened. You should also get out more often. But you can't do any of that right now. It's late. You should get some rest, considering you're sick and in shock."

"And you?" Ed asked, lifting his head and meeting Roy's gaze again.

Roy allowed a shadow of a smirk onto his face. "I hope you don't mind sharing a bed. I don't exactly feel comfortable leaving you alone right now." Ed nodded slowly and sat up so he could finish eating. He devoured everything in a matter of minutes, while Roy disposed of the vomit that had spilled, and otherwise picked up around the apartment. Once they were both satisfied, Ed crawled into bed with a yawn, and Roy climbed in after him. Ed was quick to fall asleep, but Roy had a hard time, on account of all of Ed's kicking.

At some point, Ed's troublesome leg came to rest on Roy's thigh. Roy figured it was for the best, considering how Ed settled down (and stopped kicking him), so he relaxed and tried to fall asleep. But then Ed's hand rested on his chest, and suddenly the blond was pressed uncomfortably close to his side. Well "uncomfortable" was relative. Uncomfortable for a subordinate and his superior - but sleeping in the same bed at all had signified that they were something closer. Still, Roy wanted to enjoy Ed's warmth, but he kept his thoughts and hands to himself, which was ultimately what made it uncomfortable. He didn't usually stick this close to people without ulterior motives.

Motives, which Ed seemed to be egging on, what with the way he rubbed his metal leg, so gently into his crotch... Oh, he was wide awake now, and so was his groin. He shifted, really uncomfortable now in the confines of his pants, but there wasn't much he could do unless he wanted to wake Ed up and sleep elsewhere - home or on the floor... He closed his eyes and mentally begged for mercy when he felt Ed press his own hardened member against Roy's thigh. This couldn't be happening, not now, not right after he learned Ed had been...

How to dissolve this situation? His patience was only exacerbated when Ed started rubbing against his thigh, mumbling to himself in his sleep. "Ed," Roy whispered, really not wanting the blond to wake to this situation, but finding no choice. "Ed, what are you doing? Stop it."

Ed's eyebrows furrowed sleepily. "Okay..."

Roy's heart thumped loudly in his ears. Ed just... obeyed? Would Ed do anything he asked? He closed his eyes, telling himself to go to sleep before he decided to do something rash, but it was futile, and he found himself staring at Ed's unhappy sleeping face. As long as Ed didn't wake up... "You should just jerk off to relieve yourself."

Ed's expression relaxed and mumbled, "Watch me..."

Roy clenched a fist. "Excuse me?"

"Watch me do it..."

Oh, he wanted to. "Just do it, okay?" That way, whether or not Roy watched, Ed would stop humping him in his sleep and Roy could finally relax. He could will away his erection as long as Ed wasn't sitting there egging it on unintentionally. He gently pushed Ed onto his back, while the blond reached down his pants and started to pump. Roy sighed; the blond was still asleep, after all. "Just so you don't come in your pants." He unbuttoned Ed's pants and pulled the erection out to the cool evening air. He'd told himself that he wouldn't look, but...

His eyes strayed over to Ed's hands, which slowly stroked a very handsome erection. Roy looked away, and closed his eyes. The image was burned into his mind, so very sexy... He'd had dreams five times more exotic than this about Ed, but damn it if he wasn't ready to jump Ed any second now. He glanced over, and realized that at Ed's pace, he'd never really come. He was asleep; how had Roy expected him to be able to relieve himself?

"I'm not taking advantage of this situation," he whispered, swatting Ed's hands aside and grabbing the base of his erection. "I'm just helping Ed out so I can go to sleep. If I so happen to have a boner myself, so be it, but my desire for Ed has nothing to do with the fact I'm jerking him off right now. Nope, nothing at all." He squeezed and set a fast pace, the sooner to get it over with. His own member ached in appreciation for the sight of the weeping erection, wrapped no nicely in Roy's fingers.

His heart froze suddenly when Ed's metal hand grabbed his wrist, quick and firm. He'd been caught. How would Ed react? Careful not to look like a deer caught in headlights, he turned a level gaze to Ed's squinted golden eyes. He still seemed half asleep. "Mustang?" he murmured. Roy's heart hammered with bruising force against his ribcage, or so it felt, and awaited Ed's verdict. The metal hand lessened on his wrist, and Ed closed his eyes again, leaving Roy's hand where it was. Roy tried to swallow, but his throat was dry.

"I heard you talking in my dream. Was that actually you?"

"Probably. What did I say?"

Ed looked down at Roy, eyes flashing. "That you want me but it has nothing to do with touching me."

Roy considered his options carefully - but threw them out the window. He was in deep enough shit as it was. "Yeah, that was me." Ed's eyes raked over Roy's body, easily spotting the tent in Roy's pants. "If this makes things between us awkward-"

"No," Ed whispered, meeting Roy's gaze. "Let me screw you." He wasn't sure why he said it. Maybe he was feeling particularly sadistic and felt like causing someone pain, or maybe the thought of making Roy submit to him was arousing, or maybe it was as simple as wanting to fuck at all to relieve himself. He saw the consideration in Roy's expression - he was honestly thinking about it. That was enough to make Ed's breath catch. Fucking Roy Mustang. The Roy Mustang.

"At this point, if we were to have sex, I'd have to concede with your request. I don't want you to remember anything unpleasant while I'm screwing you." Roy gave Ed one last squeeze. "Fine." He didn't waste any time, immediately pulling down his pants and revealing his own aching need. Ed's eyes raked over Roy's entire pale countenance, finally resting on Roy's face. "Do you know what you're doing?"

"No," Ed replied easily, but as he spoke, he reached over Roy and into the nightstand where he pulled out oil for his automail, and applied it to his fingers. He didn't wait for permission or understanding before shoving two fingers up Roy's ass and wiggling them around. To keep himself busy, while Ed stretched and scissored, Roy grabbed his own dick, finally giving it the attention it had been begging for since Ed rested his leg in Roy's lap. Ed's fingers curled and Roy saw spots, pleasure racing through his groin.

Ed looked up sharply when Roy gasped, and allowed himself a small grin. He tried it again, and watched Roy's hand tense around his member, then met Roy's gaze. Roy smirked at him, something that had always pissed Ed off before - but now, in this new context, it made Ed's dick twitch. Eager to get to it, Ed applied the oil to his own dick, and positioned himself. He met Roy's gaze, and again didn't wait for any kind of "okay" or signal before plunging right in. He grabbed Roy's hips tightly, surprised at just how tight and hot it was. A string of expletives rolled off his tongue, causing Roy to chuckle. He sent the man a glare, and thrust in further.

Roy didn't complain, but his smirk fell quickly. It was strange for Ed, to see pain contort Roy's face, but simultaneously notice Roy's hand increase its pace. Shaking from the excitement and pleasure, Ed pulled back and plunged back in, setting a quick pace. Roy's hand matched it easily enough, while Ed's hands left big purple bruises on Roy's pale hips. Ed groaned as sweat formed on his brow, and he shoved in harder and faster - just to watch the pain and pleasure on Roy's face.

Roy smirked at him at some point. "Can't go any faster?" he taunted.

Ed growled, and slammed in harder and quicker. Roy grunted, smirk falling again, and it was then that Ed realized he'd taken the bait. "Sicko," he panted. "You like being in pain?" The idea sent excited shivers down his spine. He could be as rough as he wanted.

Roy's smirk returned, a little weaker than before. "It adds an interesting dynamic to all the sensations." Despite Ed's earlier tone, he could feel the excitement rolling off the blond, and his smirk felt a little stronger. Ed shoved in, harder than he'd dared before, and Roy closed his eyes in response. Ed leaned over, careful to keep up the pace, breath hot on Roy's neck, and bit down. Oh, how he'd wanted to taste Roy's skin before... Salty from the sweat, smelled husky like a man with the hint of smokey wood. As his pleasure mounted, he bit down harder, stifling his moans, and keeping he neighbors unaware of their activity.

Ed was the first to give, releasing after a particularly deep thrust. His whole body went slack, although he managed to keep from collapsing completely on top of Roy. He drew away, and slid out of the man, admiring his handiwork. Roy was still achingly hard, and Ed's teeth had drawn a little blood, never mind the hickey it left behind. He wondered then if he should help Roy finish, or if he should just lay down and go to sleep. He was incredibly tired...

"Go ahead and sleep," Roy told him, working up to his climax. So Ed shrugged and lay down, closing his eyes. It was so nice to relax again... Except he was painfully aware of the man behind him, jerking off. Every shift of the sheets, every slight breath that escaped Roy's lips, he heard. Eternity stretched before him while he waited for Roy to finally release his load - honestly, how long could he keep this up - but it never seemed to come. So he flipped over and watched Roy, who was tense from head to toe.

"It helps if you relax."

"Shut up."

"No, really. Just relax."

"I know how to come, Edward."

"Then what's taking so long?"

Roy sent him a withering glare. "Maybe I'm a little distracted."

"Well, I'm having trouble sleeping, so is there a way I can move this process along?"

Roy's hand stopped altogether, expression mildly surprised. "I can use the bathroom if you're having trouble-"

Ed interrupted, repeating himself. "Is there a way I can move this process along?"

Roy blinked, sluggish thoughts trying to catch up to the situation. He was quick to think in the clarity of lust and proximity, but his lack of sleep was catching up with him, and he was in a lot of pain now, too. How could Ed help him? A smirk slowly crawled up his face. "Why don't you try to help, doing whatever you think will turn me on? I'm curious to see what you think."

Ed thought about it briefly, and decided to rise to the challenge. He scooted closer to the man, and took his excited member, stroking tantalizingly slow. Roy liked women - how did women act in bed? Ed had no idea, so he decided to wing it. He licked Roy's ear, and imitated a moan. He didn't moan himself while he was in bed - shouting and cursing were more his style - but women moaned, right? He could also talk dirty, but what would Roy appreciate? Begging? Well, Ed refused to do that on principle, but...

"Shit Roy," he breathed into his ear, "I want to fuck you so badly." His own dick twitched. Yeah, he did. "Spread your legs for me like a bitch." Roy chuckled, making Ed frown. "Yeah, I didn't think that would work," he mumbled, setting his mind back onto the task of finding a new avenue to tempt Roy.

"Your tongue has a lot more uses than talking, Ed." He paused. "Whoops, was that a hint?"

Ed growled angrily. "Go fuck yourself."

"See, I was trying to do that earlier but you-" Roy was cut off when Ed slammed their mouths together. It wasn't just their lips. He immediately shoved his tongue down Roy's throat, in an attempt to shut the man up. At least, that's what he told himself. He lost himself quickly in the kiss, eyes closed, trying to explore every bit of Roy's mouth, letting Roy suck on his tongue. Oh, if Roy would just suck on something else...

Before he knew it, he'd forgotten about needing Roy to come, and his flesh hand explored Roy's chest and belly, feeling the muscle and soft skin. Roy hadn't forgotten about his aching member though, and he was painfully aware of the one Ed was beginning to sport. This couldn't go on all night. He had work in the morning, and he was already going to be in bad shape with so little sleep and with such a sore ass. He wasn't even drunk! How could he have a crazy, passionate night like this? He wasn't a teenager anymore.

Still, he couldn't deny that the idea of staying up all night with Ed sounded like a blast. He prodded Ed's tongue and explored Ed's mouth in turn, loving the taste and the wetness. He was surprised when Ed suddenly broke the kiss, and was even more surprised to find Ed straddling him. When had that happened?

"I was thinking," Ed said breathlessly, hard eyes meeting Roy's, "that I want to remember everything that happened. Every detail." Roy's mind suddenly derailed. Wait. What? He opened his mouth to ask for clarification, but it was a stupid question, so he didn't complain when Ed cut him off. "I want you to screw me, too. It might help me remember something."

At first, Roy was speechless. But then, "Are you sure you aren't just saying that so we can have sex again?"

Ed grinned. "That's a plus, but I really do want to remember."

"But in the middle of having sex?"

"What else is going to trigger it? It's got to happen sooner or later, and I'd rather it happened sooner. Besides, I don't really want to have sex with anyone but you -" his cheeks flared red all of a sudden "- and I don't know when I'll get another chance. I want to get everything out of this that I can."

Roy's mind reeled. It was a lot to take in, when he was so distracted and tired. Ed was truly attracted to him. More than that, he was the only person Ed was interested in. And then there was his abrupt declaration that he wanted to try to remember something obviously traumatizing. But something else echoed in his head. I don't know when I'll get another chance. Did he want this to happen again? Ed probably did. Could he afford it? Ed's contract was terminating in the fall, but what would others think of their age difference? Why hadn't he considered all of this before trying to jerk Ed off?

Even if he decided that he wanted something more permanent with Ed, he couldn't promise that he could pull it off. So he caved in. "Okay. Where did you put the oil?" Ed pulled it out and handed it to him.

"I think, because of my injuries, that I was lying face down," he said, lying down, and sticking his ass up in the air. He smirked at Roy, who watched with very conflicting emotions. He wanted to fuck Ed, so badly, and this didn't seem like the worst position - but did he really want Ed to associate him with any memories that he might regain? Ed must have seen the reluctance in Roy's face. "There's no guarantee I'll remember anything anyway, so just pretend you never heard any of that."

Roy steeled himself, and allowed himself to admire Ed's sexy ass stuck in the air. He lubed up his fingers and slipped them inside. Even if he hadn't heard about Ed's experiences, he would have been worried about hurting him, so he kept a careful eye on Ed's expression. Ed became irritated quickly at how slowly Roy went, so Roy tried to pick up the pace and oiled up his erection, which was still going strong despite everything. It was expecting too much.

He knelt and positioned himself, grabbing Ed's hips, and sank in slowly, careful to pause and let Ed adjust when it was necessary. Ed groaned miserably. "Come on, bastard, fuck me!" He impatiently impaled himself further, tight and hot and sexy. Roy's breath caught, but he gathered his wits quickly, and started thrusting in and out, slow and sweet. He leaned over and kissed Ed's back, emotions all astir. He'd always had a soft spot for Ed, always felt affectionate despite his demeanor. It hadn't turned sexual until Ed got older, but now he was purposely forcing him to remember something painful. He could at least take the edge off of everything.

Ed was surprised at the butterfly kisses across his back, and the gentle hand on his hip, the other one on his dick. He'd never imagined Roy to be a "gentle" person, but this... It was more than sexual, carnal - it was meaningful, sensual. Ed closed his eyes tightly. He'd experienced love enough times to recognize it. And damnit if he didn't love Roy back. But how could he show it?

As Ed rolled his hips in and out with every sweet sensation, a fierce sense of protectiveness overwhelmed Roy. Ed had gone through a lot, and he never wanted the blond to suffer again. Never wanted another human being to lay a hand on that pretty blond head. He could show it only through an urgent thrust, hand squeezing around Ed's member. He hit that spot that made Ed see stars. It was obvious when Ed muttered quietly, "Fuck, Roy," and his member throbbed in Roy's hand. Ed swallowed, aroused and moved all at once. What could he do? What could he say?

Roy hit that spot once more, surprising him again. "Shit." Then Roy hit it again, and again, sending waves and waves of pure pleasure one right after another, like the curses that lifted from his lips. Just as he thought he couldn't take it, Roy squeezed his member, and he cried out quietly, releasing into Roy's waiting hand. His whole body shook with exhaustion and pleasure, but even as his high wore off Roy continued to thrust into him -

And suddenly, asphalt was beneath him. His ass was in the air, blood dripping in his eyes. Someone was slamming into his ass over and over, pain assaulting him. He could hear the jeers of the other three, and his hands were handcuffed away from each other. He was aching everywhere - inside, outside, on his head, from his bleeding stomach, his stinging back.

"Come on, man, let me have a turn!"

A grunt from behind him. "His ass is mine. Fuck his mouth."

"And let him bite me?"

Ed grinned savagely. Damn straight, bitch.

"Then give him another hit."

"It's not fun when he's docile. Just give me a turn."

A low chuckle and a groan. He felt the man come, filling him up and spilling out. "Go ahead. Your turn."

Ed gasped, heart pounding, staring at the darkness, feeling the blankets beneath him. He was shaking, and he wasn't filled with semen. He wasn't filled with anything, even though he was sore on the inside. He blinked a few times, and found Roy watching him worriedly. He struggled to regain his breath and control of his shaking limbs, but only managed to lay down on his side.

"Are you okay?" Roy asked quietly.

Ed shuddered. "Fine. I just... Let's go to sleep."

Roy hesitated. "Alright. Give me a minute." Ed watched Roy stand up, and grimaced when he saw Roy still hadn't relieved himself. The older of the two went into the bathroom, and Ed stood up to change the sheets and regain some semblance of control over his body. By the time Roy got back, the bed was made, and Ed was lying on his back, pants back on, staring thoughtfully up at the ceiling. Roy pulled on his own pants and climbed back in.

"I have work in the morning," he said, "Can you set an alarm?"

Ed grunted. "On the nightstand." Roy fiddled with the buttons for a few minutes and then set the clock back down. He lay down, finally able to relax. Then Ed asked, "Why didn't you just come while you were fucking me? I did it to you."

Roy tried valiantly to suppress a yawn, but didn't succeed. "Because you were acting weird. I assumed you were having a flashback and stopped. But it's all good now. I'm so tired." He yawned again and his eyes fluttered closed without much more prompt. Ed frowned, but decided not to pursue the subject. Roy was clearly too tired to have a conversation.

"Will we talk later about all of this?" he asked, just to make sure.

Roy nodded and murmured, "Of course."