Everything I've Learned

Karen's father finds out about her relationship with Holly, and he furiously interrogates the child. Slowly, she recounts the full story, sifting through what she may and may not tell her father- along the way, reflecting on everything she's learned from this school year… none of which was on the exam.

M/English/Romance & Angst/Karen/Holly

Author's Note: Thank you very much for reading and reviewing, Mimi-Chan25! Sorry for the delay- I'm finally out of school, so I'll have more time to write now. It's short, but brevity is the soul of wit, so without further ado, I give you chapter two.

Disclaimer: Karen, Adrian, and Holly- along with any other characters referenced- are copyrighted property of BBC. I am making no profits from this fiction, nor do I intend to claim the plot as my own.

Chapter Two- How to Love the Context

"Who gives a fuck about scared and nervous? You SHOULD have been scared! What could have possibly gone through your head to make you think that was right?!"

"It's all in the context…" I whisper.

My father is yelling in response, but I'm not hearing the words anymore. I don't want to; I don't care. I know everything he's saying. It's wrong, it's disgusting, fucking dyke, what context, fuck context, she's your teacher, you've ruined her life, and on and on. He doesn't get it. It's all in the context.

I started it all. I asked Holly to the art exhibition. Teachers aren't supposed to see their students outside school, but I thought… Thought maybe it was okay, because of the art project. We were meant to study artists we loved, really lovely artists who never really got recognized, and talk about why they were never famous. I talked about the sculpture of the man with the big hands. I thought it was all in the context.

Holly saw that I kept going back to that sculpture. I just kept glancing back at it- it seemed new every time. She took my hand and led me back to the sculpture, looked at me questioningly- as if to ask what was so special about it.

"See how her eyes are half-open? She's not looking at the guy. It looks like she's looking back in the ocean, wondering why he pulled her onto the rock. Like she's disappointed. Like she didn't want to be saved. And his hands… he played God. He decided she should live, and now he holds her. Controls her. But it's not about sex or anything—look how his eyes are locked on hers, not on her lips or chest. It's like… she wants to trust him, but she can't. Maybe she trusted someone else once, someone lost in the water. And she was just trying to follow the person who loved her for real. So… the sculpture, it never got famous because it's all wrong. His hands are too big, they're both looking the wrong way, and she looks miserable. But when you look at it in context…"

Holly took over then. "It becomes beautiful. It's all in the context."

I know I put Holly in a horrible position. I know people think she took advantage of me. I know we're not supposed to be together, not ever, because she's twenty four and I'm sixteen and she's a woman and I'm a girl and who genuinely finds love at my age anyway?

But it's all in the context. Looking past that she was my teacher, a woman, a woman eight years older than I… she was the first person I trusted. She needed someone to make her feel wanted, needed. She needed someone to trust her, and I needed to trust somebody. After the affair, she felt awful. Unnecessary. Her mum made her feel like she wasn't good enough on her own- she needed somebody. She needed know that she could be happy with somebody. I needed the same.

She was a woman, an older woman, an older woman in a position of authority over me. We were all wrong. But in the context, we were beautiful. We were perfect.