A/N This story is a companion to "The TA" The TA is written from Bella's POV and this is the same story from Edward's POV. I started The TA first so the story is much further along in that one. The chapter numbers will coincide between the two stories even though this makes for some very long Edward chapters over here!

All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, with the exception of a couple that I invented

Wherever you will go – The Calling

Sitting through the same boring lecture about English literature had never been so interesting. Alice and I sat all the way on the side of the hall near the aisle next to the wall. I made a mistake early on. Bella introduced herself and I embarrassed her, she heard me laugh at her joke and her eyes instantly snapped to mine. I felt immensely guilty. Our eyes locked and she blushed, I missed her blush my memory could never quite replace the real thing. I had shaken her confidence though and for that I could not forgive myself. I pondered how long it had been between when we made eye contact and when she resumed her introduction. Surely it had been brief. For me, the world stopped as I was finally allowed to look directly into her eyes unhindered by someone else's interpretation or flawed glass. She gripped the side of the lectern for balance; I wanted to run to her, to steady her. She seemed so much more fragile than before. Bella tripped in a most dramatic fashion on her way back to her seat. Her chagrin was deep but she attempted to cover it with a dramatic bow. There was pain on her face though, perhaps from whatever injury she had sustained on that bike.

Don't touch that bike. Alice shot me a glare.

I gave her an indignant look in response and mouthed, 'fine'.

Alice and I waited for her after class. I watched her collect her things and resisted the urge to go to her. Resisting tore me apart. She was right there and I couldn't go to her. I couldn't touch her or beg her forgiveness. I witnessed her behaving selflessly again. There was work to be done and she took it instead of allowing her coworker to do it. The professor asked her to remove Alice and myself from the classroom.

This isn't going to be as easy as you think it is Edward.

I nodded.

I can't see exactly what's going to happen but you need to keep your cool because every time you think about that bike she runs off. She's very independent now and you are going to have to let her be that way.

I nodded again. Bella was walking up the stairs. I knew what I wanted to do.

Do not kiss her right now! You need to wait:

Bella curled on a bathroom floor in the fetal position crying.

I shook the image out of my head.

I'm going to head off to class as soon as she leads us out. Do not make her any angrier than she is.

Was she angry?

And do not mention that bike under any circumstances or I will tear you to shreds and burn the pieces myself. I want my sister back Edward and you are not going to mess this up this time.

I nodded. Bella had reached our row.

"Are you coming or are you going to take Dr. Stevens' survey course as well?" She couldn't even look at us. My heart broke again. I had completely lost her. I would win her back I had to.

She favored her right leg as she climbed the stairs ahead of us. Every step was a dagger in my heart. It had to be my fault that she was in so much pain that was all I had ever brought her. Perhaps this wasn't such a good idea. I should run...

No Edward! This time you are staying.

Bella pushed the door open with slumped shoulders. Her entire posture was that of a broken woman. If I couldn't go, then I would have to spend the rest of eternity making it up to her. I half expected Alice's favorite vision of Bella, as a vampire to rear its head at the decision but there was nothing. Perhaps my chances were worse than I thought. Was Bella with someone else? That thought crushed me, it had been what I wanted but it would be excruciatingly painful.

"I'm sorry Bella, I have another class to get to. Can I come by your office later?" Alice squeaked and jumped happily in place. She would get Bella back even if I didn't.

I'm leaving you with her; make it right Edward – I'm warning you!

"Sure, you can come by anytime." Bella sounded delighted. Her voice was so beautiful but she had emphasized the word 'you', possibly meaning Alice's presence was welcomed but not mine.

"So…" I started as soon as Alice retreated hoping to catch her before her goodwill had a chance to falter. She walked past me, her arm barely brushing my shoulder; the closeness elicited a silent rumble from my chest. Restraint. My angel stopped for a moment as if thinking and then turned on me.

"Do you have a question about the lecture or perhaps the syllabus, Mr. Cullen?" She was angrily focusing on a point behind me as she spoke. I had hurt her immeasurably. I will fix this.

"No Bella -." Her countenance instantly shifted as I said her name. It was painful for her.

"That's Miss Swan to you." Her tone shifted away from containing the slightest bit of civility. This was going to be difficult.

"But you just said to call you -." I attempted to show her reason; I needed to say her name with such desperation that not saying it might destroy me.

"Yeah, well you don't exist, and people who don't exist get to call me Miss Swan." My own words had been used against me. I deserved this. She had not forgiven me for leaving her but that was a good sign, right? She stalked off down the hallway and I couldn't help but follow her. She pulled me along with a force greater than gravity.

We reached a suite of offices marked by a glass section of wall. I tried not to, I hesitated at the door, but I followed her in. There was no way that I could be away from her for any length of time now. She was upset, she was hurting, and it was my fault.

"Can I help you?" Oh please let me help you. The secretary at the desk in the central office interrupted my pursuit. Oh, why did human females have to think like that around me... some of the things going through her head were just unnatural, no one could do that vampire or otherwise.

I shook my head and leaned into the doorway where Bella had just entered. If I wasn't permitted to call her name I would think it. Bella ducked under my arm the heat of her body tickled and teased my side. Bella's freesia scent wafted past me, and my throat burned again but the burning was good. I deserved to burn, to suffer and Bella deserved to inflict this suffering upon me intentionally or not. She still used that strawberry shampoo I noted through the burn.

Bella had walked away from me again. I followed like a lost child. She inclined her head reflexively in an unconscious gesture acknowledging my presence at the door to the mailroom. She abused the copier and then ripped a stack of papers out of a cubbyhole on the wall, presumably her mailbox. I watched Bella as she sifted through papers; she read each one multiple times refusing to even look at me. Ultimately, she threw most of them into the recycling bin.

Hmmm what do we have here.... Looks young enough to be a freshman, I wonder what he's doing in the doorway. Oh Bella! I might just need to check my mail, there could be something important in there. An image of Bella pressed against the copier wafted through the mind behind me. I tensed for a second before remembering myself.

I let the vile creature pass me and noticed Bella tense up as soon as he made it into her line of sight. She shuddered almost imperceptibly, the human probably didn't notice. She pushed herself tightly into the copier, the opposite direction of how this pervert had imagined her and closed her eyes disgusted as he made more contact than strictly necessary to pass her. Some very inappropriate images of her on that copier oozed from his disgusting mind. I grabbed the metal doorframe to restrain myself. I growled but Bella was the only one who reacted to it.

"Who's the kid?" He sneered.

"This is one of my freshmen, Mr. Cullen. He's from -." Bella's voice was tight; she didn't want to talk about me and she most certainly didn't want to speak to this low-life.

"Alaska." I continued to practice restraint. She was introducing me as a freshman first and foremost to this disgusting creature not two feet from her who had just touched – I had to stop thinking about that.

"He also seems to be stalking me. Isn't that nice?" She forced a saccharine smile at him while she insulted me.

"Do you want me to call security?" I think I could take him if you give me something in return. He was doing a good job of appearing nonchalant.

"No, he'll get tired and realize that I'm not all that distracting and run off eventually. Freshmen are rather like Romeo, they're fickle." To say that her comment angered me would be an understatement. She, who had defended Romeo to me once, was now comparing me to his and once again using my own argument against me. In addition, she had just implied that she had only been a distraction in my life, that I had not loved her. This was not an assumption that I would settle for; anger coursed through me, venom filled my mouth. As she passed I deftly grabbed her wrist and prevented her from walking away from me. I was tired of this game and it would end now. Her skin shocked mine with that familiar electric current. I had not felt that in years.

Then, she did something unexpected. Bella would normally have come to her senses or cried or apologized, I even expected her to attempt wrenching her wrist free, but she didn't. Bella's face was set in an angry expression. To a human it would have been intimidating as it was raw and emotional. This was anger on a very primal level. I had seen her angry before but that never contained this raw edge coursing with rage. It was exciting in a way.

"You don't get to touch me." She brought herself up close to my ear. "It's been four years since you gave up that right and I suggest you let me go before I ask for help and you have to pretend to let 'Paul Roving-hands' over there beat you up to prevent your cover from being blown." I dropped her wrist in shock; she threatened me with exposure of all things. Of course, it was the one thing with which she could threaten me. She obviously believed that I didn't love her – which broke my heart. She knew that she couldn't hurt me physically and she couldn't run. What else was she left to do?

The second I dropped her wrist she marched back into her cramped little office and cut on the computer. I followed her because I couldn't stay away even now when it was readily apparent that she wanted me to go. She would have to tell me to leave. I wouldn't do it unless she kicked me out. I sat down at the desk behind hers and turned the chair in her direction.

"You've made your point. Are you finished?" I couldn't keep the ire out of my tone. Bella had threatened me after all.

"I haven't even begun to make my point." The rage was still seething from her. She violently banged on the keyboard ordering books from the library. The sheer force she put behind each stroke was shocking.

"I- I need to talk to you." Bella was breaking my heart; she was hurting too and I needed her. I needed her forgiveness but I also needed her badly.

"I can't begin to imagine what you might have to say to me." She continued to thwack the keys mercilessly.

"Please don't be childish about this. It's hard enough." The pain was becoming unbearable.

"You can drop the class, Stevens has some openings in her section, and Paul could be your TA. I'm sure that you'd be great friends. You seem to share the attitudes and taste when it comes to women." I remembered Alice's warning to hold my temper as she said this. Bella had only done it to get a rise out of me and I needed to diffuse this situation before it could get any more heated.

"Bella -." I forgot Bella's preference that I not say her name. She spun on me and met me with a wall of fury.

"You. Don't. Get. To. Call. Me. That." Bella planted her fists on the arms of my chair and leaned down in what was supposed to be a threatening gesture. It elicited a very different response from me. She was so close, close enough that I could feel the heat from her body warm my cold skin. Her hair drifted around my face when she leaned forward. I lost restraint over the lustful feelings I was experiencing. Bella's anger and her confidence were very sexy.

Automatically I knew that it was a mistake. I didn't make a decision I acted. My lips took advantage of her close proximity and pressed up into hers. Inexplicably one of my hands snaked around and locked into her hair holding her close to me. I embraced the burn as I fought the bloodlust building in my throat. I would not succumb to that monster; instead a very different sort of monster overcame me. I stood so that I towered over her slight form. I gently pushed the door closed and then thrust her up against it.

She didn't protest initially. Conversely, she pushed her warm body into me as tightly as she could, and she had gotten stronger. She filled me with an absolutely maddening sensation. Careful, use restraint, be gentle, I reminded myself. My hands caressed her face remembering every feature, relishing in them. I pushed her further into the door.

I was aware that something had gone wrong as I did this. She became less responsive. Had I hurt her? I would never forgive myself if I had. I was already so far in the wrong. I should not be kissing her; it was a selfish and rude act. Her body trembled between the door and mine. I smelled salt and opened my eyes to see tears streaming down her lovely face. Immediately I broke the kiss. She sobbed violently against the door.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think. I just – I wanted… I'm sorry Bella" I pulled away from her. This had been a mistake. Alice warned me not to kiss her and I could hear her mind clearly across the small campus screaming at me as loudly as she could. She could see Bella crying. Bella slipped past me to her desk and stood with her fists planted on it, her head hanging in the most pitiful position trying to gain control of her breathing and emotions.

I felt a set of thoughts move urgently across the outer office toward the door to this one. I had to act quickly. Bella's situation as a TA could be greatly compromised by my presence alone with her in her office. I could not risk that.

"Someone's coming." I whispered gently and carefully cracked the door open hoping that no one had noticed that it was closed. She shook her head and grabbed her things before bolting out the door. I attempted to follow and ran in to Andrew at the office door. He was looking to where she had disappeared.

What's wrong with Swan? Something is seriously going on with her today. He looked at me. Is it this guy? He looks like trouble.

It was an astute observation.

Bella had gone into the faculty women's restroom. It came off of the bank of offices and there were now too many people in the outer office for me to even try talking to her through the door. Crestfallen, I forced myself to leave the office. I had seriously messed this up and I needed to talk to Emmett or Jasper.