Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. I do own these ditties, plus Duke and McCallister. Prepare for another round of my random plunnies! I hope they amuse, if nothing else.
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004 - Dislocation
Sometimes one hears things that one can never unhear.
"Keep going."
"Hold still."
"Just do it!"
"I'm trying, but you're moving too much."
"Ah!"
The poor intern stood outside Tifa Lockhart's office, fiddling with his papers. This was a conundrum. On one hand, she needed this file as soon as possible. On the other hand, he did NOT want to interrupt…whatever…was happening on the other side of Lockhart's closed door.
"Ow, ow!"
"Sorry, it's not going."
"Will you just—"
"The angle's wrong."
A gasp and a yelp, followed by a crash of something falling off a desk.
"Now."
"Ready?"
"Oh god, Leon, just shove it in!"
The intern blanched and turned, walking away as quickly as he could and trying to block the images as Lockhart let out a loud moan.
Back inside her office, with a crack and a violent jerk, Leon twisted Tifa's shoulder, shoving the joint back into the socket. Tifa bit her lip hard and stifled a whimper as pain rocketed from her shoulder, down her arm and through her collar.
"Ah, dammit." She dropped her head, cupping the arm around her side. "Thanks."
Leon let go and backed up a step. "Don't use that arm for a while."
Tifa gave him a flat look that said: no shit. He looked like he was fighting a smirk and set a bottle of pain killers on her desk before turning to go back to his office.
"Make sure it's dead next time before you turn around, yeah?" He tossed back.
A string of curse words followed him out of Tifa's office.
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005 – Free Entertainment
"—on a day hot enough to make the devil sigh." The radio sang as Tifa moved around the kitchen, making herself a sandwich.
Twangy country music usually did nothing for her, but this one happened to be very catchy. She hummed the tune as the accented voice continued with the guitar.
"I wasn't in a hurry, so I slowed down—" She sang the words.
This was the fourth time the song had been repeated in the last two hours, so she at least knew the chorus. She danced from the refrigerator to the counter, opening the grape jelly.
"—took a two lane road to a one horse town." She fixed her lunch in tune to the song.
Snatching up a mixing spoon as a microphone, she did a little spin and made up her own little dance steps as she bopped back to the fridge to fill her glass with ice. The song thrummed on and she belted out the few words she remembered, humming loudly to the words she didn't know, and knocking her knuckles on every available surface to the beat.
As she spun back around to set the glass on the counter, she happened to look up and saw Leon standing in the doorway, watching her with a mixed expression of bewilderment and amusement. She immediately straightened and started slapping at the radio to turn it off.
They just looked at each other for a moment in awkward silence as the music continued to blare. Then Leon sighed, turned around, and went back the way he'd come, closing the door behind him. Tifa stood there, spoon-microphone in hand, staring at the door.
Then the song hit the chorus and she abruptly went back to dancing.
"She said we got a hundred gallons of sweet red w-III-ne!" She sang loud and off pitch, putting the grape jelly back in the fridge. "Made from the biggest watermelons on the vine—"
She hummed as she finished making her sandwich and poured water into her glass. "—but obey the law: if you drink, don't drive, do the watermelon crawl!"
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006 – The Old Ball Game
"So…now what happens?" Tifa asked.
"He's out." Leon said bluntly.
"Thanks, I gathered that much. Why?"
"Because he swung and didn't hit it."
"He swung earlier and didn't hit it."
"But that was just one strike. That right there was his third one."
"So…three strikes and you're out?"
"Exactly." Leon sat back, propping his boots up on the coffee table.
"What if he doesn't swing?" Tifa squinted at the television in the break room.
"Depends on if it was a strike or not."
"And that guy with the mean face decides that?" She pointed.
"Right."
On the screen, the player with the wooden bat swung and hit the ball, sending it shooting off sharply to the right.
"Hey, hey, he hit it!" Tifa sat up, "Why isn't he running?"
"Because it went foul." Leon explained, as though to a slow person.
"Foul…That's outside those poles." She mused aloud. "Out of play."
"Unless one of the fielders catches it in the air. Then the batter is out."
"That's unfair."
Leon shrugged and kept his arms folded. Tifa sat with her elbows on her knees, trying to understand the bizarre sport that Leon had found on some random channel.
"You've played this before?" She asked.
"Nope. Just found it." He replied flatly.
"Then how do you know the rules?"
They both tilted their heads and leaned sideways as another 'foul ball' hit just to the right of the 'foul pole'.
"Been watching it for two hours." was his delayed response.
Another throw and another 'strike' and the guy with the mean face threw an arm out with a guttural cry of: "Yeeeeer oooooout!"
Tifa clucked her tongue and started to get up. "What IS it with men and sports? I don't see what is so captivating about a game of—"
The player on the screen swung the bat and sent the ball flying across the field. The other guys on the field were running toward it, but the ball kept going, flying over the farthest fence and out of the playing area.
"Oh!" Tifa clapped her hands and dropped back onto the couch, "He hit it out! That's awesome. What does that mean? Is that good?"
"Home run." Leon answered, taking a drink from his beer as they watched the rest of the game.
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A/N 005: Song was Watermelon Crawl by Tracy Byrd, with which I have no ownership of nor any affiliation with…It was just stuck in my head for two days.