Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto
Warnings: adult themes and strong language
". . . " spoken
'. . .' thought
Iruka woke slowly, humming in contentment as a slim hand ran through his hair, massaging his scalp. Reality hit him hard as he remembered where he was and sat up quickly. The hand caught in his hair and pulled slightly, but Iruka ignored it as he stumbled to his feet. He tried not to groan as he straightened his aching back and the circulation started to return to his left arm. He hastily wiped a hand across his face as he checked for drool and tried to wake himself up. He flinched when he heard a raspy voice whisper his name.
Kakashi was awake and watching him. A paper mask covered his face and he had a patch over one eye, but the small part of his face that Iruka could see was a sickly gray color. Tsunade had injected him with a chemical to neutralize the alcohol in his system, but he would be exhausted and weak for the next few days.
"Iruka. . . what are you. . .I didn't think . . . I'm glad you're here," Kakashi stammered. His gray eye was sincere but glazed.
"Yeah, well . . . I'm glad you're okay," Iruka said gruffly, arms crossed. They lapsed into silence and Iruka couldn't help but feel awkward.
"Did Misai call you?" Kakashi asked hoarsely, wincing slightly.
"No. Tsunade came and got me an hour or so after you came in last night," Iruka replied quietly as he quickly filled a glass with water and handed it to the copy nin.
"Oh. . . I'm sorry she bothered you. You should have gone home last night. Sleeping hunched over like that is bad for your back," Kakashi whispered, his voice was still rough, but the water had helped some.
"I was worried," Iruka admitted quietly, staring at the floor. It had been hard to say, but it was the truth. "You should be more careful Kakashi. If Tsunade hadn't gotten there when she did you could have died." Iruka continued. Both men finally fell silent looking at everything but each other.
"I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry for everything," Kakashi said suddenly.
Iruka couldn't help but look at him. "Please Kakashi . . . please don't do this." Iruka pleaded gently a lump quickly forming in his throat. He couldn't take it, not again. He couldn't take hearing more lies.
"I have to say it Iruka. I miss you . . . I love you . . . and I'm so sorry," Kakashi rasped insistently, his pale hands gripping the blankets, his eyes pleading for Iruka to believe him.
"Stop it Kakashi," Iruka snapped his voice sharp and piercing as he stepped away from the bed, intent on defending himself from the familiar pain. "Coming to me for sex then leaving without a word, sleeping with other people after I beg you not to, hurting me more and more everyday, that's not love Kakashi." He turned quickly and forced himself to remain steady as he reached the door.
"Iruka please . . . wait . . ."
Iruka shook his head, not trusting himself to speak as he opened the door and started to step into the hallway. He stopped suddenly when he heard a soft whimper. For a second he couldn't move, all he could do was stand there, breathless, and listen to the soft broken sounds from the man behind him. He turned slowly and couldn't believe his eyes. Kakashi was crying. No, he was sobbing.