I HONESTLY FORGOT I HAD WRITTEN THIS (ok I knew I wrote it but I forgot I uploaded it I'm so sorry) ( that is it anyone is reading it hehehahaha ok shutting up now). So I finally remembered and I'm actually excited to continue. I'll try to update weekly, but you know, sometimes exams come p and stuff :(.

Thank for the review and the follow!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Artemis Fowl.

Chapter 2: Letters and Introductions

Myles and Beckett both looked at me curiously, but took the letters nonetheless.

"Mr. M. Fowl…third floor to the left…what?" Myles looked at me once more, you know, the what-the-hell-this-better-not-be-another-joke look. But I just gestured for him to open the envelope.

This is so exciting! I don't have to leave them after all! Gah I'm so happy! I can't wait till we go!

And my mind raced on thinking about what would happen and how this changed everything when I caught myself staring at Angeline Fowl, and she was staring right back. I shook myself out of my daydream and I looked away, but she kept staring.

Her face was pale, and she was very quiet. Mr. Fowl was busy discussing something serious with Artemis, but it looked more like his mind wasn't with his father and rather with the pale look on his mother's face.

"Mother are you alright?" he asked her.

"And the prices were just outrageous!" Mr. Fowl continued to talk not caring whether or not Artemis was following up with him. It seemed as if he had yet to catch the ghastly look on his wife's face.

"School of witchcraft and wizardry… Aiden? Is this the best you can do?" Beckett said and put his letter on the left side of his table with an snickered. "I would've thought of a hundred different pranks to pull on us. If this is some sort of a good-bye prank then it's completely lame."

"No! No, you don't get it! It's-" but I was interrupted by Mr. Fowl.

"Are you alright, dear?" he asked as he finally took notice of Angeline. The look of surprise on her face made her look like she took a pie to the face.

"It's all true…I didn't expect…not from you…" she leaned back in her chair and frowned.

"Mother…you're not making any sense. What's true? What didn't you expect?" Artemis prodded on. There was a moment of long silence in which we all just stood awkwardly waiting for Angeline's answer.

After a few minutes of waiting, she pointedly looked at me.

"Will you excuse us a bit?"

Wait, what? She wasn't even making sense to me!

"Wait, no. Someone will be here to-"

"Please Aiden. This is important family matter we have to discuss"

She was still glaring at me with that stare, and I don't know how I knew…but I did.

"Are… do you know? Are you a witch?" I blurted out. If she were, then that would've explain why no one appeared to explain things to them.

"Excuse me?" said everyone except Angeline at once.

I should have thought before I spoke, because without any explanation I would be insulting her. Mr. Fowl was about to say something, and by the looks of it (he was probably to scold me), but Angeline jumped in.

"A squib actually." And I cracked a smile. So it did run in the family. Everyone else looked back and forth between the both of us with looks of confusion plastered on their faces.

"Read it out loud." She ordered them. The twins looked at each other, still confused.

"You…you don't mean the letter?" Beckett said.

"It's a prank! Just a bunch of gibberish Aiden put together. Surely-"

"Not gibberish! It's-" I interrupted Myles, but Angeline then interrupted me.

"Myles. Just read it." His mother told him in that motherly tone…that do-it-or-so-help-me-i-will-make-you-mow-the-lawn-and-i-mean-around-the-entire-manor tone.

Go on! I urged him in my mind. Read it already!

"…okay." He said calmly surrendering to his mother as he re-opened the folded paper. "Dear Mr. Fowl. We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Terms will begin on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than June 26…" he said it in this all awkward tone, like he didn't really know why he was reading it.

"So, what do you say?" I sang out as I swung my legs back and forth. Again, I resisted the urge to dance around in excitement.

"I say this is all rubbish." Mr. Fowl was red in the face now. Either he was angry or he was holding a fart in, but I guessed it was his anger. "This is not a joke Aiden and neither was addressing my wife as 'a witch'. Now I will kindly ask you to leave this house." He stood up as if to increase the intensity of his command.

I got up and looked around, seeing if anyone would stop him, but everyone just exchanged look.

"Sit down, Aiden." Angeline Fowl said. I slowly sat down, and after a beat Mr. Fowl sat down too.

And then she launched into explanation.

OoOoOoOoOoO

I had the feeling that they did not believe any word their mother was saying. Beckett's mouth was open as if someone had just told him he was a baboon in human skin (which is not entirely a lie).

"And so, this year you won't be going to an ordinary school. For the remaining years, you will be going to
Hogwarts." She smiled at her two sons, but they just gaped back.

"How…how do you expect us to believe this?" Artemis said. He looked around at the other occupants of the room to see if any agreed with him, but no one moved.

"It is real. All of this is real. If there were a way I could prove it to you, but unfortunately the only way I can is to take you to Diagon Alley." She said calmly, and a longing look stretched upon her face.

"Wait!" I suddenly got up and the chair I was sitting on made a screeching noise against the floor. "S-sorry…but I have something to prove it!" I said, and I was about to leave the room when I remembered….manners, I chided to myself. "Please excuse me" I said before I left the room.

As I was leaving the room I saw Artemis whispering something in a low voice to himself, resting his chin on his hand, but I wasn't bothered. As soon as I left the room, I bolted for the stairs, praying for the five-hundredth time during my visit here I wouldn't get lost. I climbed up two more stairways until I made it to the third floor.

I took a left and went to the end of the hall. I went into Myles' room where I first let my schoolbag drop, keeping in mind that through all the time I've been to the Fowl manor, I have never been in either of the twin's rooms alone. I grabbed my bag from the side of the door and tried to ignore the nagging voice in my head that was telling me to look around for anything to use as blackmail. I was tempted to look in his nightstand, where he always kept some mysterious stuff, but I decided now was not the time. (I had once seen him pull out some movies out of there, and I knew that there was something in there he was hiding. I bet it was some cartoon or something.

I put a mental note in my head that if I ever got any other chance to do so I should. As I swung the backpack over my shoulder, it collided with the bookshelf above me. I looked up to see if I'd caused any damage, but there was none.

I left the room and reached to close the door behind me when I stepped on something.

"HISTORY SHALL REMEMBER YOUR NAME, PROFESSOR MYLES!" a voice that scared the heck out of me. I jumped a foot in the air and turned around, but there was no one there. I went to close the door, but something caught my sight on the floor.

I was a stuffed monkey. It was wearing a lab coat, and it was probably the one that had just spoke. I remembered this monkey. It was always on Myles' shelf, and when I asked about it Myles always told me he just kept it for old memories. It wasn't something I could use for blackmail pretty much, but I would probably find a way to do so. I made my way to the dining room.

"mental-" some one way saying, but I came into the room and didn't really care what they were saying about me or who said it. I had the proof and they would have to believe me.

I sat back down on my seat and I started rummaging in my schoolbag. Where is it? I'm sure I put it here last night. And then my hand touched something smooth at the very bottom of my. I grabbed the piece of wood and wiggled it out from the bag. I put the wand on the table, and let my schoolbag drop to the ground.

"Take it." I gestured for Myles to pick the wand up.

"What's that going to prove?" he said.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. We were going to get nowhere if this kept going on. It seemed that he had got my message, took a look at his twin and reached for the wand. He brought it up to his face to examine it, and I told him to give it a wave. He just swished it around a bit and it instantly turned into a rubber chicken.

I wanted to let out a laugh because the look on Myles face as he threw it out of his hands was priceless, but I didn't. I just smiled and folded my hands together.

"I told you. It's a fake wand. I know it's not a very good example, but it's the only thing I have at the moment. My dad gave me his as a 'congratulations, you're a witch!' gift. I would've gotten my own but my mother refused to go and buy the supplies from Diagon Alley until summer."

"It really is real…" Beckett said as he got up to pick the chicken up from the floor, which turned back into a fake wand in his hand.

"Not a surprise. Although I never thought hu-"Artemis started, but he stopped himself. All the Fowls looked at him pointedly, as if sharing the same thought. 'Don't say that now' they all seemed to be saying silently.

I ignored their shared secret and I finally couldn't help myself.

"I can't believe you're going too! I thought that I had to leave you two to this muggle dungeon! I'm just so glad you guys are coming too! I wonder what house we'll be sorted into…I bet I'll be Hufflepuff! I know it's not a common thought, but in truth Hufflepuffs are great! I bet you would be a Ravenclaw Myles! Wait, no, you'd definitely be a Slytherin.

"And Beckett…it's hard to sort him. Maybe Gryffindor? I don't know. But it doesn't matter if we're in different houses at least you're coming too! So when are you going to buy your books? If you go you should visit Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes! My dad said it's got amazing stuff! He said the puking pastille was-"I stopped myself before I could go overboard. They probably didn't understand any word I was saying. That thought was confirmed when I look around and saw everyone gaping at me.

"Sorry." I instantly said, but I couldn't wipe that stupid grin off my face. I was smiling so hard that my cheeks hurt. I rubbed them to sooth the pain but it was no use, since I just kept smiling afterward.

"So we're going to go to a school where an old woman is going to teach us magic tricks?" Myles said as he raised an eyebrow. If I weren't so far seated from him I would have kicked him in the shins or nudged his arm so hard I would've given him a bruise.

"Yes," I confirmed. "And potions and many other subjects. You just have to wait and see. As my father told me, it's amazing! Just believe me, once we get to Hogwarts your jaws are going to drop to the floor!"

While we were chatting around, the three older Fowls were discussing something in hushed voices. I don't know how long we sat down as I answered Myles and Beckett's questions, but as I kept on explaining to them, their eyes lit up more and more, and by the time we were ready to leave the table I was convinced that they finally believed me and didn't think I was some loony crack pot.

OoOoOoOoOoO

That night my dad picked me up, and at the door I tackled his and told him about the news. He greeted the Fowls and they stayed for about 10 minutes on the front doorsteps talking about it. I just bounced up and down with the tip of my feet while talking to the twins. Our parents arranged dates to go to Diagon Alley, since we were in possession of a Floo Network. So the plan was to meet at our place and leave from there.

I waved good-bye to the twins and the Fowls, and my dad and I got into the car. As I put on my seatbelt in the back seat I just went on and on and blabbered about everything and how Hogwarts was now going to be perfect. My dad just laughed and gave me comments and glances from the rear mirror. I didn't stop talking for one second until we reached home. When I came home, my mother opened the door and she let us in.

Wait. I forgot about Nate.

But it was getting late, so I decided to leave it to some other time. I wouldn't forget about it. He was going to pay, and as a bonus this gives me time to think of a master plan.

I went to sleep and snuggled up into my blanket, forgetting that Nate had thrown it on the floor leaving unfriendly dust bunnies all over it. My mind was rushing all over the place, and although I had my eyes shut I couldn't fall asleep.

These were going to be some exciting years.

OoOoOoOoOoO

"Come on, Nate! You're taking forever!" I yelled out as I kicked his door. It wasn't like he had to get all dressed up and look fancy. The door swung open and he came out, dressed in a hoodie and jeans. I guess this kind of clothing runs in the family, because I was wearing the exact same thing, but with capris and some trainers.

"Come on, we've been waiting for you!" I said as I dragged him down the stairs and out the door. Outside, the Fowls were parked in our driveway with their fancy car. Their car was totally putting ours to shame, but we weren't going to buy a car just to impress the Fowls (my dad's not that type, but I'd doubt it if my mother weren't).

The Fowls came into our house, and their clothes seemed way too out of place in a normal house like ours. My dad had advised them to come in less muggle-like clothing, but I guess they were more than glad to attract attention since most of them were wearing suits. They were going to look so out of place in Diagon Alley, and Angeline knew it. My mom was just standing by the fireplace awkwardly, not knowing what to do. She wasn't coming along, since she refused to when we offered. I guess all this "magic is evil and cruel" business was getting to her head.

I got my letter a few days before my birthday. My mother, like the Fowls, thought it was a prank they were pulling on me, but my dad showed her otherwise. As soon as he'd produced a batch of flowers from his wand and offered them to my mother, she turned her heel and she ran up to her room.

She wouldn't let anyone in except Nate, who tried to convince her it wasn't that bad, but she refused. Dad slept on the couch for three nights before she finally let him in to have a talk. While his bed was the couch, I would always go to him and find other ways to cheer him up. I'd take our library card and borrow movies to marathon together, and that always made him feel better I guess. Not watching, but me at least trying to help.

It was sad that Nate didn't turn out to be like me. At first he was jealous that I got to go, but then he just adapted to it. I guess he just accepted the fact that I'm awesome and he isn't.

I walked over to the twins instantly after greeting the older Fowls. "Aren't you excited? I've never been to Diagon Alley either!" my eleven-year old self bounced with excitement.

"Are we really going to get there through a fireplace?" Myles asked.

"Trust me." I said and smiled at them both.

"Will this get mess up our clothes?" Angeline frowned.

"Not unless you say the words wrong." My dad cracked a smile, expecting the Fowl to do the same. They're faces remained straight and unaffected. He went over and picked up a flowerpot on the mantelpiece.

"Can I go first?!" I beamed at my dad. I wanted to be the first one to go through; I'm not sure why.

"Okay sweetie." I brought my hand over the flowerpot and he told me to take a handful of the greenish powder.

"Now, go and stand in the fireplace. Then, say the words 'Diagon Alley' loud and clear. If you say it the wrong way you might end up somewhere else… And possibly disassembled…." Looking back, I'd like to thank my dad for scaring me for life. After he said the word "disassembled" I was just repeating in my head, over and over again: "NEVER MIND CAN I GO HOME NOW HELP ME MYLES BECKET HELP ME MAYDAY."

"…Then drop the Floo powder on the ground" he continued. I sucked up my cowardice, nodded in understanding, and stood in the fireplace. I took a deep breath and let the word flow through my mouth. I dropped the floor powder and was a bit mortified to see that green flames were engulfing me in every direction. I closed my eyes, and I could feel myself being pulled somewhere else. My stomach was not too happy about it.

I landed on my feet. I didn't know if we were still in our house, but there was only one way to find out. My body stiff, I opened my eyes.

I gaped out my surroundings. The place I was in was filled with owls, cats, rats, rabbits and all sorts of animals. There were even moving things I didn't recognize. I stepped out of the fireplace just in time, because as soon as I did, Artemis Fowl came through. At first he was on his feet, but as the fire died down, he tripped and fell. He cursed (I didn't really get it, but it wasn't the swear word I knew) and got up.

"You better move before someone collapses on you." I advised him. He got up without a word (quiet, that one. I wonder why…) and looked around. He had a bit of soot on his knees, but I guess he was as interested in some of the creatures as I was. The saleswomen was eyeing us, looking from me to Artemis, who was very interested in this giant turtle that was encrusted with jewels and in the rat in the cage next to it, which was using a toothpick the get some food out of a bowl a few spaces away from his cage.

My train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of crackling fire as Beckett joined us.

He got up and looked around. It was filled with animals, and all the walls were lined up with cages of who knows what.

"Mom's trying to convince Dad to use the powder…thing…" he said as he examined a blob of pink puff in a cage.

Myles came next and it wasn't a surprise to see him dash to the cages and look over the new animals. I noticed the place reeked of animal waste, but no one gave a care except, of course, Artemis who was covering his nose with a silk handkerchief.

Next was Angeline, then Mr. Fowl. He was a bit angry that his clothes had got smeared with a bit of soot (I could almost hear him thinking: "THIS IS ARMANI!"), but when my dad and Nate came in through the fireplace, dad took out his wand and waved it around, and bits of soot came flying off all of , like the rest of us, just gaped at his surroundings.

Mr. Fowl got less tense after that, and we all walked out of the shop. I looked up to see the name of the shop, and it was 'Magical Menagerie'. I wondered if this was the place I got to get an animal. I still hadn't decided if I was going to choose an owl or a cat, but part of me hoped it wasn't from this placed that reeked of cat piss.

"First off would be Gringotts. You must exchange your muggle money for wizard's'" my dad said as we walked down a crowded street. I saw shops pass by and I couldn't wait to get into them.

I walked beside my dad, since the Fowl twins were too busy gaping around for me to talk to them, and Nate stayed close behind. My dad started to walk Mr. and Mrs. Fowl through magical currency and it's relation to muggle money.

"I don't think you have to actually open a vault. Maybe just exchange the money." He said thoughtfully and looked around for the tall white building in front of us. It wasn't hard to miss, since its bright white coat contrasted from the black buildings surrounding it. And while the rest of the buildings looks like they were going to collapse, Gringotts columns looked tall, sturdy, and proud.

We stepped up the long stairs into the grand doorway. "Here?" I hear Artemis say. Yes, it was hard to believe that such a small building could hold all the valuables of a hundred thousand wizards across great Brittan, but when we stepped in we took that thought back. The hall extended deep into the building, with great crystal chandeliers hanging about 4 meters apart. In the floor, you could clearly see your reflection as if looking through a mirror; it looked like we were standing on water, our reflections rippling on the marble floor. On the walls, red curtains draped over paintings of old, abnormal people. These people had long, pointed noses, tiny eyes with puffed eyelids and they looked very much like the old men sitting on the high counters.

Angeline looked like she was trying to keep her composure from revealing the disgusting sneer she had hiding behind her face.

"Goblins?" said Artemis.

What?

I looked around, and the old men that I thought to be people didn't look so at all. Now, when I looked closer, I could definitely distinguish the difference between being human and goblin. They had skin like leather, an odd grayish color I wondered why I hadn't seen before.

I looked round and sought conversation, but everyone was quiet and admiring. To be honest, I was an attention seeker and probably still am, so started up a conversation.

"Oi, Myles. I bet you'd look like one of those goblins when you get older."

Myles rolled his eyes. Still not enough attention.

"You'd look like that but worse. You'd look like those old potato bags but like someone just threw it from the empire state building, ran it over with a car and gave it to a dog to use as a chew toy."

This time, all I got was a light laugh from each twin. I still needed approximately another joke or two to get them cracking.

We finally made it to the end of the hall, where one goblin, wearing some century-old glasses, looked at my father.

"Good morning. We'd like to open a new vault under the name 'Fowl, Artemis II'. No currency in galleons, just muggle money to be converted."

While the grownups did the grownup things, I was aiming to go for another joke, but Beckett got me to it.

"Don't compare him to a potato sack, Aiden. The potato's whole colony would be offended." I cracked up real good on that one, but when the goblin stepped down from the counter to reveal his height (he was just above the knees in a few inches), I took the opportunity to bomb the grand finale.

"One's things for sure, Myles: the potatoes are taller than you." Now at the age of eleven, I felt like I just made the joke of the century, looking back I'd like to slap myself 20 times across the face for my lameness. (I'm still lame. Don't worry.)

"Aiden, that wasn't even funny." Nate said with an honest frown. Thank you, dear brother, for letting down your poor little sister.

We were instructed by Angeline to stay where we were with my dad, as she and the rest of the Fowls headed into a dark passageway. Myles craned his in order to get a glimpse of the passageway, but the door soon closed behind them.

"…did that door just close by itself? Is it automatic?" asked Myles, and Nate wandered off to admire the structure of the building.

"We're in the wizarding world, Myles, not the 21st century" replied my dad. "If there's one thing wizards are excellent at, it's living in the stone ages."

"You mean there is absolutely no technology?"

"Not a single thing. As you can see, they still use ink and quills." He pointed to one of the goblins at the high desk. "But I don't think it's going to be a problem if you just take pencils and pens, McGonagall wouldn't mind."

"Who?" Now I was curious.

"She's Hogwart's headmistress. She was head deputy before Dumbledore…oh well. Let's not bring old memories back. She's very kind and she's really the best of them all, but don't get on her bad side. She's very strict when it comes to obeying the rules." This didn't give us much assurance, and it rather gave us an image of a fat, stout old lady who bakes cookies but becomes a horrid monster when you insult her baking.

We waited for about 15 minutes before the Fowls appeared through the door they had gone through, carrying a sack of galleons. Mr. Fowl held up the small pouch as if it was full of dirty diapers, and then Angeline took it from him.

"Well," she said in a cheery voice, "I think it's about time we've explored Diagon Alley."

Another note: Again, I accept criticism. If you find anything that needs to be changed please pm me. Plus, I'd like to know if this is a good chapter length. Tell me your thoughts!