Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon sadly as it is owned by others. This is a nonprofit work which I am writing for the sole purpose of making others laugh.

PRJ

Chapter One: Good Morning Red

Our hero Red woke up on the morning of his tenth birthday excited for the surprise his mother had promised. Red had asked his mother for a Pokémon of his own for the last couple of years and he thought that maybe this was his surprise. In a way this is true, but not in the way he wished.

He quickly readied himself for the day by changing into jeans and a t-shirt. He also grabbed his red jacket and cap, before hurrying downstairs to see his gifts. When he arrived he saw his mother sitting on the couch, cuddling with her Mr. Mime.

"Mom, what are you doing Mr. Mime?" Red asked, having remembered that his mother's name was Delia and that comment from that pervy Oak's television special the night before.

"Post-coital cuddling. I read an article which stated all sorts of research which pointed to cuddling and kissing after sex to be one of the best ways to strengthen your relationship. You should remember that in the future sweetie."

Red sweat dropped. "What the fuck is wrong with you woman? You can't have sex with a Mr. Mime!"

"Well what was I supposed to do? Your father took his Arcanine with him when he left and I had to find another Pokémon to satisfy my natural sexual urges. I am a woman at her sexual peak after all."

"What?" Red whimpered out in response. "You can't have sex with Pokémon."

"Sure you can. I've let plenty of Pokémon explore my treasure trove. My favorite was that Arcanine. I have never met anyone else who could satisfy me like that fire brand could. He just filled me to the brim. Mr. Mime is close though. He is quite flexible." Delia stated while looking over at Mr. Mime hungrily.

"Mime!" the creature called out, looking quite pleased with itself.

"My mother is perverted freak." Red stated with a lost look on his face. He really did not know how to react to this. Which honestly is very understandable. How are you supposed to react when you find out your mother likes to do dirty business with what is basically the family pet. "Why did I have to find out on my today of all days?"

"Oh that's right, today is your tenth birthday. I guess we should talk for a bit." His mother stated as she stood up and walked to the kitchen. Red followed her a slow pace, feeling numb from the shocking revelation his mother had just dumped in his lap. Delia sat down at the kitchen table and turned to her son.

"Red, there comes a point in everyone's life where they must shed the past and start on a new journey. Do you understand?"

"What?" Red asked, still dazed from discovering his mother's sex life.

"Well, you see. I want you out of my house. You've been bumming off me for the last ten years and it's kind of pathetic."

"Where the hell is this coming from? I'm your ten year old son. What was I supposed to do, come out of the womb and get a job?"

"That would have helped with the bills, but I still would have thrown you out after ten whole years of living with your mother."

"What the fuck is wrong with you!"

"I am not the only parent to have thrown their child out. This will be good for you. I can't let you live with me forever."

"I hope you die of a bloody flux. Have you even put any thought into how a ten year old boy is supposed to survive on his own?"

"Not much honestly. I have arranged for you to pick up a Pokémon from Professor Oak as a birthday present though." Delia informed her son with a smile. "Happy birthday Red."

"First, you inform your ten year old son about your sex life, then you kick said child out of your home, and lastly you send him off to an old pervert's house alone. You are the worst mother ever." Red responded to the birthday wishes.

"I am not you little shit! I have kept you fed and put a roof over your head for the last ten years of your life! Also, during that entire time I have never attempted to rape and/or maul you!" The incensed mother replied.

"Well congratulations you fucking whore! Not having your way with me must be a great accomplishment for you, but sending me off to get raped by some old man isn't really any better!"

"How dare you!? I was going to take you out for ice cream to celebrate your birthday, but now I don't think I will." Delia responded with a huff, turning her back on her son. "You have two hours to pack and leave my home. Anything you leave in your room will be destroyed. After you're gone I'm converting that room into a sex dungeon."

"Why tell me these things!? You know what, never mind." Red threw his arms in the air and stormed off to the stairs and stomped up to his room. He looked through his close and grabbed a couple spare outfits and placed them in his backpack. He also grabbed a sleeping bag since it looked like he would be doing a lot of sleeping outside, as he didn't have any money.

'But Mom has money,' he thought to himself. Our hero then snuck into his mother's bedroom and went over to her sock drawer, where he found 500 Pokédollars. He quickly put the money in his pocket and made his way back downstairs and towards the front door. His mother just opened the door for him and glared as he marched out of the house.

"Fucking bitch." Red stated when his mother slammed the door closed. He then began to make his way over to Oak's lab to collect his Pokémon.