Shepard sat behind her desk, staring at her reflection in her helmet. She wasn't entirely sure what she was searching for, but she was having trouble finding it. A gentle hand on her shoulder startled her. A glance at her bed told her who it was. Kaidan lay tangled in the sheets, clutching her pillow close to his heart, her lingering scent to chase away the dreams he couldn't fight.

"Hey Kyra." Shepard mutters by way of greeting.

"Jane? You seem troubled." Kyra said

Shepard looked over at the ghostly projection. She had to admit in a different perspective she was frightening. Horns, a serpentine tail, long claws, teeth like a mutated scifi beast and features just human enough to make you uneasy; it was like a monster from one of her mother's stories come to life. But its presence gave Jane a sense of serenity she couldn't find anywhere else. Not even, to her great shame, in Kaidan's arms.

It was a reminder that she was alive. Kyra, as she preferred to be called, had saved her on Mindoir all those years ago. By merging with her, Jane's life had been spared but Kyra was bound to her. There were side effects of-course. The biotics were a useful bonus, the red hair though? She looked back at her reflection and pulled at a wayward strands. She still wasn't used to it and often lamented the fact she'd yet to find a dye that could return it to its natural black.

Kyra quietly edged closer until she brushed against Shepard's shoulder, "Jane?"

Shepard shook her head and resumed her search. Warmth on her back and loving arms around her relaxed her frayed nerves.

Kyra carefully moved a lock of hair out of Jane's face, "You have grown, Jane." Her softly spoken words caressing her ear and snaking down her neck.

Disbelief colors Shepard's voice even as she runs her fingers along the collar of her armor, "Have I now?" She said.

"Exponentially. You defeated Saren, repelled the Geth, saved the council and thwarted the Reapers' plans for invasion. Jane you've bought your people and the rest of the galaxy precious time. One of those by themselves is worthy of praise, but all of them Jane? That is growth, My heart."

Jane snorted, pushing away from the desk and Kyra, reaching for her armor, "I called that bad luck and convenient save editing."

"Commander Jane Shepard!"

"Exactly Kyra! Look at me. I'm a barely decently solider. If it wasn't for you I'd be a number on a casualty report. I'm just Jane. Without you there is no Commander Shepard!" Her voice broke, wavering around a sob she'd viciously suppressed. She glanced over at Kaidan and shook her head.

"I didn't even kill Saren remember? He shot himself. I sacrificed the lives of countless soldiers for three people. Three! I'm still not sure they even deserved such a sacrifice."

"What about your crew, Jane? Can you deny that you've become a remarkable leader and an excellent example of a commanding officer? Look at me Jane and say it."

Shepard spun around quickly, rage setting those eyes a glow. After a moment a hollow haunted laugh burst from her. Glancing quickly at her bed to make such Kaidan was still sleeping she closed the space between herself and Kyra.

"My crew was shanghaied into my employ through political maneuvering. The ship belongs to Anderson. They follow me because I'm in charge. Rank and obedience, the Alliance way."

Shepard's shoulders trembled a moment before falling, she looked dejected and tired. A familiar feeling welled in Kyra's chest. She let out a frustrated growl and turned up her eyes in askance.

"You're their commander! They each love you in their own way. You've done amazing things and they respect that. You have shown kindness and compassion beyond what is necessary or Human. For the Goddess' sake Jane, you stole the Normandy! Against 'the Alliance way' they followed with one question. One! Which way Commander? They followed you into Ilos knowing that they might not come home."

Kyra cupped Jane's face gently and pulled her closer until their foreheads touched.

"If you say you're responsible for all these deaths and so much destruction. If you believe that only together we are Commander Shepard. Than the I am as guilty as you. More so since I am far older and wiser. Let me shoulder this burden with you My heart. Believe me when I say you've earned this Hatchling. To say otherwise is to disrespect everyone you care for and dishonor all the sacrifices made by those who care for you."

Shepard paused a moment, her eyes glassy with unshed tears but a smirk on her face, "Fine, I guess you win. For now."

Kyra chuckled and Jane laughed with her. It was the conspiratory laughter of old friends.

"You speak as if though any other outcome was possi-"

-Commander, there's something you should see.-

"I'll be there in a moment Joker." Shepard said.

-Yeah sure. Hey when you get here maybe you can explain to XO Pressly one more time that I know how to pilot the Normandy-

They untangled themselves slowly, hesitant to lose the comfort afforded by the contact.

"Well duty calls. Are you ready Commander?" Shepard asked.

"Where ever you go Commander."

Shepard gave herself a once over, checking her armor, grabbing her helmet and donning her 'Commander' mask. She made her way over to Kaidan and kissed him awake. She lingered there with him, basking in his love. Eventually they parted ways, Shepard leaving to attend to her duties.

That moment never came.