Of course, as Yoshiki had predicted and as she had determined, she had completely refused to eat. Since it was dinner time, he had no choice but to back down. "Tomorrow, then..," he said with a half smile, sliding the tray back over through the slot and carrying on back to the cafeteria. Well, she'd definitely be a hard case... Maybe even impossible. As he entered the area to get the dinner trays, he gave a small sigh. His shift would be over after this, so he couldn't stick around to force it down her throat. Uh, figuratively speaking. He didn't think violence was the way to solve this. Maybe he needed to see exactly why she wouldn't eat... Though, getting her to open up to him may prove even more difficult. It was his first day, and he was already having trouble.
Taishi was coming in to pick up the next meal when he saw Yoshiki, who seemed to be much more aware of what he had to do. The job wasn't very difficult, past the feeding and medicating stuff. Mostly they just stood around and made sure the patients didn't hurt themselves or anyone else."Hey, Kishinuma. How'd your first round go?" he asked curiously, since he had a hard case on his list. Taishi was pretty lucky with his list of patients, since most of them were out of it... He was just thankful he didn't have Kizami, since just walking by that guy's room sent chills down his back.
Yoshiki turned his head at the familiar voice, but just turned back and shrugged. "Okay, I guess? Shinozaki was tough, as expected. She still didn't eat or anything, but I find it wrong to force it down their throats," he mentioned with another sigh, pushing the cart with mostly empty trays in an empty spot. He wasn't sure what he'd do if he was told he had to make them swallow everything. If they didn't take the medicine, it would be their own faults, right? Besides, if they were scheduled to stay in here forever, he couldn't understand why it was so important they swallow pills that probably didn't even really help. Odds were they just sedate them, so they were less of a problem.
Taishi nodded in sympathy at Shinozaki's name, since she was one of the notoriously difficult ones. He felt a bit bad they stuck Yoshiki with one of the most uncooperative patients. Plus, while Taishi himself avoided any force feeding and medicating, cases like Ayumi normally pushed the guards to it. "Yeah, she's a stubborn one. Most patients, once on their meds, aren't too difficult to control. Apparently no one's been able to get her to consistently take them. Though, I don't think the Psych in this place even knows what's wrong with her," he said as his eyes glanced over his own cart. Once dinner was served, he got to go home and the night guard would come on until breakfast had to be served.
Yoshiki could guess why that kinds of mental sicknesses couldn't really be healed by medicine, so it was just to dull them down. It also felt a little cruel, but a good precaution to the more dangerous patients. He looked to him with a strange look. "They don't? Then why force pills down her throat that probably don't even help?" he asked with a slightly raised eyebrow as he took his hands from the cart handle.
Taishi gave a small shrug, since he didn't know about a lot of the inner workings going on in this place. "Ms. Nakano is sure she'll figure out what's wrong with her, I guess," he said in uncertainty. He had never seen Ayumi turn, but he's heard about her outbursts. They sound very... unsettling. "Group A is a frustrating group to deal with. They've been marked down as incurable, so they just tucker them away in isolation... If anything, I sometimes wonder if Ms. Nakano is just testing stuff on them," he mentioned in a hushed tone. Everyone knew she wanted to make some sort of breakthrough that would put her names in the books.
Yoshiki actually gave some validity to that assumption. After all, if they were incurable, why were they to make sure they take medication that supposedly 'helps' them? Ugh, this is not what he wanted to deal with on this job... and it was still his first day. "That's the only thing that makes sense to me... Besides, in conditions like this, I don't think any sort of medication would help these people," he noted, though he wasn't saying it was unnecessarily cruel. Well... the guards were, it seemed, but the conditions did make sense, to a point. Isolation so they didn't hurt anyone else... But under such circumstances, they didn't have a chance of recovering. In fact, a place like that could turn a minor case into an incurable in a matter of months, even weeks. Humans didn't do so well in isolation.
"Some of them are calmed down by the pills... but yeah, these are people with some deep-seeded issues," Taishi said as he grabbed his cart. He looked at Yoshiki and gave a small half smile. "Unfortunately we're supposed to make sure they take these meds. Ms. Nakano may be calling you around soon if Shinozaki doesn't start obeying," he warned, since it seemed only fair he got warning he may be called to her office. Though, it wasn't like that meant he was going to get fired, but it did mean Ms. Nakano was getting sick of Ayumi's behavior. Although, she tried it with every new guard, and it never worked, unless the guard used violence against her.
Yoshiki gave a solemn sigh. He didn't want to be told he had to get physical with her. He'd say it counted as cruel and unusual, but still... he didn't want to lose his job. Then, a small thought came into his head as he went toward the cart he was in charge of. He glanced to the other guard, giving a look of curiosity. "What... even happens when patients are like this?" he asked, wondering if there was some punishment system. He was starting to get a little worried about her if that was the case.
Taishi glanced aside at the question as he considering how to answer it. The entire subject of their work was littered with questions of morality, and if they should be allowed to treat people like this just because they weren't in a good frame of mind. "Ah, well, it varies. Most the time, if they misbehave by skipping medicine and not eating, they get moved to an intensive care unit. They're strapped down and given a feeding tube and their medicine, until they're... stable," he explained with a small frown. Although, it was rare for it to get to that point. Hell, sometimes guards would lie and claim the patient was taking medicine and eating, even if they aren't. That's probably what happened with Ayumi's previous guard, he guessed. "There may be other methods used... I'm just not really aware of them," he added, since he was hardly in a position where he knew the even darker parts of this place, if they existed.
Yoshiki listened closely, and was somewhat relieved he didn't have to do the forcing... Though after the thought, he felt a little bad for the positive outlook. It wasn't very good for the patients... and honestly... he didn't feel like Ayumi was had a mental problem... Then again, it was only his first day. He had no idea how she looked when she really went out of control. "I see...," he muttered, not sure of what else he could say as a response. "Ah, well... thanks," he said before wheeling the cart around.
The clock overhead ticked before giving off a a chiming tune. It was about 5:45, then. Nakano sighed lightly as she tossed a pen aside, pushing up her glasses so she could pinch the bridge of her nose. It was a long day, but she had another couple of things to address before she could go home. She readjusted her glasses as she looked down at one of the many folders on her desk. Given it was December, they were getting a lot of attempted suicides, which meant a lot of paperwork and a lot of psych evaluations of not so interesting cases.
After another unsuccessful encounter with Ayumi, Yoshiki decided to actually pay this infamous 'Ms. Nakano' a visit. Not to complain, but to... ask. He had a small idea as to make Ayumi cooperate a little better... Uh, with food, at least. As he approached the door, he felt a nervousness in his stomach. It was only his first day, and he didn't want to lose this job opportunity, but he also wanted to actually help, if he could. He's always been dead weight to others, so he wanted to try something a bit different this time. He took a quiet, calming breath before knocking the back of his hand against the door.
Nakano glanced up at the knock against her door. She sighed lightly, hoping nothing happened that would create more paperwork for her. She pushed back from her desk and walked over to answer the door. After opening it, her eyebrow raised in surprise at the young man at her door. By his uniform, it was easy to assume he was one of the guards... perhaps the new one? She honestly didn't concern herself with them, considering there was a huge turnover. "Hello," she greeted curtly. "Do you need something?" she asked, genuinely curious. It was incredibly rare for a guard to come around without a patient in tow.
Yoshiki looked at her as she opened the door, and he gave a small nod in greeting. He didn't like adults most of the time... His boss at the music store had been alright, but those who didn't give him any respect tended not to get it in return. However... his job was in stake, and Ayumi's health. It's not like he cared about her so strongly, he just didn't like to see someone wasting away like that. "Yes... I'd like to ask permission to bring food in for Shinozaki... I know I haven't been here long, but it's easy to tell she's starving herself, and her reasoning was the food quality. I'd pay for it myself, so I thought it'd be more favorable to you instead of using money for feeding tubes and the like...," he told her, his face keeping a calm expression, despite the nervousness in his stomach.
Nakano's bored mind was much more alert as the guard began to speak. This was... very interesting. More so, though, she'd have to classify it as odd. The guards didn't care about the patients, they just did as they were told. The nurses would occasionally put a hand in like that, but most were worn away to apathy overtime. A small, intrigued smile crossed Nakano's face. "That shouldn't be a problem. You just have to let one of the cooks give the food a once over to make sure everything's fine," she explained as he eyes examined this new person. The patients weren't forbidden from gifts or objects from the outside world. Family often brought in homemade goods for the B and C patients. Some A patients had people drop by the occasional treat, but for the most part, the world has forgotten them. Everything had to be examined by a head-guard or cooks to make sure nothing was hidden in the object, but otherwise it was fine. She just never expected a guard to put out his own money. Although, she wondered how long he would keep up feeding her. She was finding it hard to believe he was concerning himself with the possibility of Shinozaki being hooked up to tubes... Perhaps it was the fact he was fresh to all of this.
Yoshiki knew it was probably unorthodox, especially for a guard, but he didn't really like sitting on the sidelines. There was a weight lifted from him when she answered. He had been worried he'd be denied, and forced to just do the dance with Ayumi for... whoever knew how long. Sure, it would put a dent into his money, but once he got his first pay check, it would probably be okay. Part of him couldn't believe he was going to take up the job of feeding a mouth other than his own. Plus, the things she seemed to like, fruits and probably vegetables too, weren't exactly cheap. But, he... felt lighter being able to do this. He guessed it was because he could actually help someone else for a change. "Alright... Thank you, Ms. Nakano," he replied after a moment of absorption, smiling slightly.
Nakano gave a small nod at his thanks, eyes glued on him as she tried to read out his intentions. She doubted he was trying to befriend or court the unstable girl... She couldn't figure out how this would benefit him. If the patients didn't eat, it didn't fall on the guards shoulder. Though, it was noticed which guards had the most patients going to the feeding tubes. "I'm just curious, you mentioned how this would benefit the facility, but why exactly are you taking this upon yourself? You are aware you won't lose your job if she's sent to the feeding tubes, correct?"she asked, wanting to make sure this new guard wasn't misinformed or something of the like.
Yoshiki was prepared to end his business and go home, to plan exactly how he'd manage three meals a day. It was basically the start of the month, and he'd get his pay check before or near his apartment payment, so maybe he'd be alright... He was known to pay his rent, so maybe his land lord would let him just double up the rent next month. Though, he paused when he was asked his reasoning behind all this. He considered the question, unsure of what to say to the woman. "Uh, well... I've been pretty useless to others, so... I guess I wanted to help at least one person in my life," he answered simply with a small shrug.
Nakano was unsure how to progress his explanation. Surely, if he wanted to help someone out in his life, he could find someone who would benefit from it more. Still, this may give her some interesting things to add to Shinozaki's folder... She definitely wanted to see where this would go."I see... Well, before you go, may I get your name?" she asked, so she knew who to ask for if she wanted to talk to him again.
Yoshiki didn't know what to make of Ms. Nakano. She didn't seem that bad... at least, as long as she didn't have a problem, he guessed. She also seemed especially curious in his motives... He knew it was weird, but he didn't know it was so interesting... Then again, psychiatrists loved strange things, huh? Eeh, it was beyond him, really. "Kishinuma Yoshiki," he answered clearly, feeling he should muster the best amount of professionalism in his tone that he could manage around this woman.
Kishinuma Yoshiki... Yes, he was the newest hire. Nakano was interested to see if this man's generosity would continue on, or he would eventually stop caring. Especially once he saw one of Ayumi's breakdown, because before that point, most people thought she shouldn't be in here."Well, Kishinuma, it was nice talking to you," she said with a smile. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around," she added on. She'd be keeping an eye on his behavior and how it may influence Shinozaki.
Yoshiki nodded to her, returning the smile, though his was a bit smaller. He was unsure of what he should say back, so he guessed he'd end it with that nod. He left her office, closing the door behind him before going off to leave. Now it was time to figure this all out... and hopefully, she'd eat it. If not... he was in for it.
Yoshiki came in a little before breakfast, though today he had a backpack, which had in it the three meals. He had to come earlier than yesterday, so the chefs could check on everything. He doubted they cared so much. Plus, it was one meal they wouldn't have to 'prepare'. He made his way to the cafeteria, explaining the situation and handing the backpack containing the chilled lunch box to the chefs. He waited there patiently with his hands in his pockets, his mind thinking over how this would go. If she did eat the food, that'd be a good step forward. But, there was still the problem at lunch, with the pill.
Taishi entered the cafeteria, trying to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He should be used to getting here so early, but he was just not made to get up along with the sun. He was early, since this was the only time his girlfriend could drop him off before she headed to work herself. As he was stifling a yawn, moving in the direction of his cart, which seemed to only have a couple of the meals prepared, he noticed Yoshiki. He was by all the 'chefs', though it was a little kind to give them those titles. There was no reason he could think of why he would be over there, so curiosity won out and he approached. "Hey, Kishinuma. What's going on?" he asked with a curious look at one of the chefs going over... a lunch box?
Yoshiki glanced away from the chefs, noticing the guy from yesterday. He was really getting familiar with him, huh? It was frustrating that he still couldn't put a name to his face, but it always felt out of place to ask. He looked back at the chefs, keeping his hands in his pockets. "Since Shinozaki won't eat, I figured I'd try and change that a little," he said, giving his senior the general idea. He'd probably think he was crazy himself, but he didn't particularly care.
Taishi blinked, his explanation serving to only confuse him more. "H...huh? You know... that's not apart of our job, right?" he asked hesitantly. He wouldn't deny it was nice, but feeding another person three meals a day would get expensive. Even if the meals were only 500 yen apiece, that would be 1500 yen a day... everyday of the week, if he plans on stopping by here on his off days... Yeah, it would be a lot. He hoped Koga or someone didn't lie him into this just to show him up or something. After all, all they were supposed to do was deliver the food. What was being fed was on the chefs' shoulders, and whether or not the patient ate was their choice.
Yoshiki nodded, be he didn't act like his action was all that weird. He should probably get used to other guards or any of the other staff thinking he was weird or telling him he wouldn't keep it up."Yeah," he answered, but didn't give his co-worker anything else to work off of. He didn't want to make it out to be a big deal, mostly because he didn't want to gain the attention of the more annoying guards.
Taishi rubbed the back of his head thoughtfully. It was nicer than anything he would ever do... Then again, he was a bit of a penny pitcher. Well, he wouldn't make too big a deal of it. It was Yoshiki's choice what to do with his money, and Ayumi would probably be better off with food that didn't look suspiciously like dog food. "You're a better man than me," he said as he glanced at the food he had bought her. "I just hope for your sake Koga doesn't find out about this..." he said in a quieter voice, even though Koga was always late to getting his breakfast out.
Yoshiki doubted that he was better than most of the average guards here. The only reason he was doing this was because he felt he had to make up for being a nuisance to others. He grimaced at the mention of Koga, hoping he wouldn't find out, but he probably would. He seemed to dislike him more than other people. "He probably will... In school, he always tried to find ways to give me a hard time," he said with a sigh, his eyes staying on the box as the chefs continued on checking it.
Taishi moved his hands into his pocket as he slouched against a wall. Ah, right, Kishinuma and Koga had been schoolmates. "Geeze, what did you do to get on his bad side?" he asked, assuming something had to have gone down to have Koga specifically target Yoshiki. While he was generally an asshole to anyone who wasn't in his inner circle, he wondered if his attention was going to be refocused to his old schoolmate.
Yoshiki shrugged, not certain on the exact reasoning. "Uh, it's hard telling... It might be because we were sort of similar in terms of the title 'slacker', but I wasn't part of his little band of misfits. I guess he was agitated that I didn't want anything to do with him," he guessed, since that was the only thing the two really had ever been grouped together with. They didn't really ever talk or get into a fight, so it couldn't have been anything like that.
Taishi chuckled lightly at the explanation. "That's petty enough that I wouldn't be surprised if Koga targets you 'cause of that," he remarked in amusement, even if the entire situation wasn't overly so. Koga was a remarkably pathetic person, though. To target someone because of something like that was silly.
"Taishi, yer carts prepared. Go feed the lunatics, will ya?" one of the chefs snapped at him as he observed the two guards having a casual conversation.
"Sure, sure," Taishi replied, not irritated by the sudden imposing. He did have a job to do. "See ya later, Kishinuma," he said in farewell as he headed off to get his cart and proceed with his daily duties.
Yoshiki nodded to Taishi as he felt. Well, now he could finally call him something in his head, but names would probably have to be kept out. He didn't want to say a senior's first name after just meeting him. He waited until the chefs gave him the okay. On Ayumi's tray, they put the cup of normal produce, and he added his own piece of breakfast in place of the normal slop. He hoped she wasn't just being difficult for the hell of it... He found that he really wanted to be able to make some sort of difference.
He went through the other patients, which went through a lot faster without the pills, like dinner did. He was to Ayumi pretty quickly. He slid the tray through, though made no special alert.
Ayumi sat on her bed, her back up against the wall of her room. She blinked tiredly, since sleep in this place was difficult to fall into. The bed wasn't comfortable, the ventilation system made everything cold, the blankets were too thin, but the worse thing was her noisy neighbors. The sounds of a psych ward were maddening, especially at night. Her eyes shifted in alertness at the sound of the tray. It was probably the new guard, which meant she'd be dealing with the same song and dance as yesterday. He seemed to be particularly stubborn, standing around for hours as if that would convince her to do as he wanted. She pushed off the bed, moving over to pluck off the food she would actually want from the tray. As she looked over the dish to decide what part to grab, her mind fully jolted awake at the sight of actually normal food. "H-huh?" she gasped in confusion. She's been in this place for... four or five years... She's never seen a meal like this before. "What's going on?" she voiced her confusion with a look of suspicion at the food.
Yoshiki wasn't sure what to do when she questioned the meal. He didn't want to make a big deal out of it at all... He actually didn't want to say he had anything to do with it. He didn't know why, he just... didn't want her to know. Also, there was the issue of other guards, namely Koga... He couldn't even imagine the obstacles he'd be faced with if Koga found out. "I don't know, I'm just in charge of bringing it," he told her, though it was a complete lie.
Ayumi stared at the food, the temptation very great to finally taste something that didn't have to be forced down. Though... this was too weird... She was nervous about going ahead and eating it, despite how much she wanted to. It was also weird how this was the day after this guy got started, when she's had years of unending gruel. She wasn't so sure she trusted his claim he just brought it. He had to have had some influence, considering how determined he seemed to get her to eat yesterday. "I doubt that... Did you drug this or something?" she asked sharply, not wanting to be tricked into taking her medicine.
Yoshiki sighed, a hand slipping through his hair. Even with good food, she was difficult to handle. Though, with someone so insistent on not taking the medicine, it should be obvious that she would have been suspicious. "Of course not," he said with a tired tone, his eyes coming back to hers and his hand returning to his side. As he had expected, the food had not been cheap, so he'd be very deflated if she ended up not accepting it under false suspicions.
Ayumi looked at him with a furrowed brow as she tried to figure out this guy's deal. He was behaving differently than the other guards she had dealt with, which threw her off enough. Now, her meal plan had changed? After years of consistency, she wasn't sure she could deal with this sudden shift. "Then why after years of being served the normal cafeteria food am I getting this?" she asked again, since he must know something about the change if he was willing to claim the food wasn't drugged.
Yoshiki hated being questioned, and with a suspicious girl like this, he wasn't sure he could keep up his ignorant charade. But, he wasn't giving up yet. He felt like... he'd feel better if he didn't get the credit for it, strangely. "I told you I don't know," he insisted with a small shake of his head, though he felt that wouldn't satisfy her, and first and foremost, he wanted her to eat.
Ayumi was quickly becoming frustrated with the apparently clueless boy. He knew the food wasn't drugged, but somehow he had no idea where there was such a drastic change in her diet? Should she even trust anything he says? But... it was the best quality food she's had the chance to eat in what felt like forever. It actually smelled good. She'd just... chew carefully... If there were any pills hidden in it, she'd be careful not to swallow them. Though, was that a good idea? She didn't want to be drugged. When her mind wasn't sharp, they got in easier. Of course, Nakano always told her that wasn't the case, but Ayumi knew her own mind... She chewed nervously at her lower lip as she glared at the food. Her walls felt like they were crumbling because the hunger pangs that plagued her stomach felt worse than usual. She huffed as she moved forward and took the tray. She was too tempted by the idea of having a full stomach without having to torture her taste buds.
Yoshiki seemed content when she finally took the tray. He was glad it hadn't taken any more persuasion or anything. He waited there for her to finish, so he could take the empty trays back to the cafeteria. Then, it'd be his first time actually doing some guard work. It was weird... Yesterday he had done nothing but deliver food and medication, when his job was called 'guard'.
Ayumi wanted to smack herself when she didn't have enough self-control to deny the food. She really hoped she didn't end up drugged later... Not that she'd be able to feel anger or much of anything at herself if that did end up being the case. Either way, at the moment, eating the rolled omelette was able to push that thought from her mind. She almost felt like crying, because she begun to forget that food could be good. It made her miss her mom's cooking, but she tried to derail her mind off that track, because she didn't want to spiral into any sort of depression. It was such an odd feeling when she hit the point where her stomach didn't hurt. She was actually full... She normally just survived off side dishes that she could stomach, until she ended up in bad enough condition that they had to knock her out and attach her to a feeding tube. Once done eating, she slid the tray back out and returned to her bed. Now that she had eaten the meal, her mind moved back to the question of why the hell the menu had changed after all this time.
Yoshiki watched as she at it all, rather quickly. It was pretty fulfilling to watch her enjoy it so much. He watched the tray slide back, and he grabbed it quietly. He slid it closer to the end, glancing up through the window. He smiled slightly before turning away, putting the tray with the other and making his way back to the cafeteria. Good... Breakfast and dinner would probably go pretty smoothly. Lunch, though? Not so much... He was sort of dreading it.
Ayumi was concerned about the sudden meal change... She should have bugged the guard about it more, she just didn't have the ability to pass on a good meal after the years of disgusting slop. Her eyes moved onto the guard as he went to take the tray, and she noticed a faint smile. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes as she tried to figure out why, since he certainly didn't look like the type that would smile often for no reason. He must know something about the meal change... but did that mean he was supplying it? Why would he waste money on her, though? She leaned back against the wall with a thoughtful frown. She was going to have to push harder at lunch about all of this.
Yoshiki returned the trays to the cafeteria, the movement already being worked into a routine. Once everything was like this, it'd probably all blend together in his head. Well, except anything to do with the patients, since they were practically unpredictable. He actually got in some patrol time before lunch rolled around, though it came faster since he was dreading that whole pill business with Ayumi. Maybe he could figure out why, since that's what he had done with the food... Though he could guess it was because she didn't trust them... Well, he certainly couldn't blame her.
He made his rounds for lunch, eventually making it back to Ayumi's room. He slid the tray through, folding his arms over the small counter as a more relaxing way of blocking her from pushing it back without finishing off everything.
Ayumi was off in her own head, since she was never given anyway to spend her time. All she could ever do was stare at the ceiling and try to escape mentally. If she wasn't crazy before this place, it was certainly making her edge closer to the instability. She sat up when she heard lunch come up, reacting like a dog when hearing a can opener. It was dehumanizing, but that was the point, wasn't it? She examined the guard cautiously as she approached the tray. Once again, it wasn't the normal cafeteria offerings. "Seriously, where are these meals coming from? I know the kitchen wouldn't fix this up," she asked him again. She still believed he must know something, so she would just have to be pushier this time.
Yoshiki glanced up at her, giving another shrug as an answer, though if she was still persisting, he wasn't so sure he could keep his walls up. He guessed it was pretty suspicious, what with the meals changing a day after he started... In hindsight, trying to hide it was doomed to fail at the start. He had just been reluctant to speak up, because of several reasons. But he felt he'd have to crack under the pressure of being asked things he couldn't really answer, or at least, shouldn't be able to.
Ayumi let out an annoyed huff of a sigh as his shoulders moved to shrug off her question. He was playing oblivious, and maybe he actually was, but she couldn't easily believe that. "Fine! If you don't know, go find me someone who does! Go get Ms. Nakano!" Ayumi snapped, figuring he'd either fess up to what he knew, or Nakano could tell her. Even if she couldn't stand talking to that woman, Ayumi had to know what was going on. If this new guard had nothing to do with it, someone had to have gone out of their way. It's just... no one would. So, she was lost on what was going on, and she hated that feeling.
Yoshiki's look flattened, reluctant to go speak to the woman again. He'd probably get in trouble for wasting her time, and he didn't want to make a scene of it. "Ugh, alright, it's from me... Why do you care so much?" he asked her with a slightly annoyed tone, after his eyes had glanced around to make sure Koga wasn't around.
Even if Ayumi had considered the idea that the guard may be supplying her food, she hadn't been overly willing to accept that as a very likely thing. Her hostility mellowed down to just confusion. "I wanted to know where it was coming from," she answered, figuring it was pretty obvious. Hah, for a moment she thought her parents may be extending an arm back towards her, but that would never be the case. "Why are you bothering to feed me?"she then asked, glancing between the untouched lunch and the guard. He was here to make money... not waste it on a hopeless patient such as herself.
Yoshiki wasn't very pleased with the straight forward answer, but it seemed like that was just the way they talked to each other. He was getting a little tired of being asked that question, but at least by now, the answer was pretty much easily just droned out. "Well, it's a little hard to watch someone eat so poorly, and I doubt you want to be forced on tubes," he told her, since he didn't feel like telling her the more personal answer. After all, it isn't like he wanted to get attached to her. That would no doubt lead to disaster.
Ayumi tilted her head as she gave the guard a strange look. If he took a good look around this place, it wasn't like she was the only one eating poorly. Hell, even those who ate the cafeteria's meals weren't in the best of shape. It wasn't like he could feed this entire place..."I've been on them before... I'll probably end up on them again. You don't have to go and make me your charity case," she said, unsure how to react to any sort of kindness at this point. Surely the meals would eventually go back to the cafeteria slop when he realized how much money he was wasting on her... She was still hung up on the fact he even cared. The guards kept themselves distant from everything happening, at least, that's what they were supposed to do.
Yoshiki didn't care to further defend his reasoning, or whatever. She could either take it or leave. He guessed he couldn't force it on her, if she was having such a problem understanding. "Just eat it already. Why doesn't matter... Geez, even when you're sort of cooperative, you're still hard to deal with," he mentioned with a small tired sigh.
Ayumi glared at him, emotions turning inside of her. She didn't know what to do with this situation. He was doing a nice thing, but he seemed like sort of a jerk. Which left her torn on ignoring the food or accepting the offer. She looked at the sushi, a meal she hadn't had in years, and found herself once against giving in to her taste buds. He'd probably give up on trying to feed her at some point, considering the expense... She'll take advantage of the situation in front of her while she could. It was a little weird having two full meals in a day. Her stomach wasn't used to it, so she had to eat slowly. She didn't want to end up puking, since it was always such a pain when they had to clean this room.
Once done, she put the tray back up. Most of the food was gone, but the pills sat untouched in the little plastic cup.
Yoshiki watched her eat, while occasionally glancing down the hall for any sign of other guards. He didn't want this to spread particularly... He'd like to deal with Koga as little as humanly possible. When he heard the tray clank against the metal platform, his eyes were drawn to the pills. He had expected this. He stared a moment, figuring he should go ahead and see what the root problem was, rather than waste his time trying to demand that she take them. "Why... exactly are you so against taking them?" he asked, his eyes coming back up to her. Normally it wouldn't be so strange, but she was adamant about not taking them like a sane person. Stubborn, but with a cool head about the whole thing. She wasn't shouting about the doctors doing weird things to her or anything... So it had him kind of puzzled. He was interested to hear what her reasoning was.
Ayumi looked at the guard with a raised eyebrow. He was shifting his approach to her, it seemed. Not that it mattered. While he was able to get her to eat, no one could possibly convince her to take those pills. "Because I don't need them," she said with a leveled tone. She wasn't like the others in here, she knew that. She wasn't going to be talked into believing she was insane or psychopathic. "If anything, they make everything worse," she added with a hiss. She didn't know why she was telling him... Probably because there was no reason not to. He'd end up thinking she was crazy like all the others did, once they saw her taken over.
Yoshiki listened to her, considering the idea. Well, it's not like psychiatrists were unable to make mistakes... but why else would she be here? She had to have done something to end her up here... But, he knew so little about her, or hardly anything, so he couldn't make judgments. Still, he wanted to dig a bit deeper. "So... you say you're not ill? Then what ended you up here?" he asked, since it seemed the only way to get some insight. Koga did say she was one that you weren't sure was insane, but it wasn't like he had ever listened to Koga before. He'd like to hear her genuine side of the story first.
Ayumi frowned as she sat back onto her bed, her eyes still watching the guard as he tried to dig deeper. Why did he even care? Why she was in here... It shouldn't matter to him. All he was supposed to do was deliver food and medicine. Now, here he was... paying for meals and asking about her past. She let out a heavy sigh as she looked up thoughtfully. "I'm not ill... but I'm not particularly well, either," she said, realizing she was talking in circles. She could feel their presence weighing down on her mind in this place. So many people died in these walls. She looked back to him with a dark expression. "Before I tell you anything, I need to ask you something... Do you believe in ghosts?"
Yoshiki stared at her a moment, not sure how to respond. Honestly... no... But, he guessed he didn't think it was impossible. He just found it... unlikely. It was partly due to the fact he had never had one of those experiences that other people claim to have, but... He'd listen to what she had to say. He gave a small shrug, his eyes casually glancing to the side. "Not really... but I'll still listen to your story," he told her, since he didn't think the idea was unfathomable. He just couldn't say he'd bet his life on it. With some cases, seeing is believing. Ghosts were one of those. However, he'd still listen to her with an open mind, since she really didn't seem all that crazy.
Ayumi frowned lightly, but she had been expecting that answer. Most people didn't believe in ghosts, which is why she was here. She sighed, unsure if she wanted to bother telling him this story, knowing in the end he'd just label her as 'crazy.' "I don't see the point, but fine. It's not like I have anything else to do," she admitted, aware he was going to find little value in what she said. "I was thirteen when the first incident occurred. It was a normal day at school, but when I got there... I began to feel off. I didn't think it was anything but a headache, so I pushed forward with the day. During class, I kept hearing a whispering in my ear... I couldn't understand what was being said, but it distracted me enough from class that I was beginning to get frustrated. The teacher noticed me and sent me off to the nurse. She told me it must have been my classmates whispering to each other, and I should just tell them to shush when I got back to class. So, I figured she was right and went along with my day. I remember getting to class, settling down for the lesson, but that's it. Next memory is at home. My mother was sobbing in the other room and my dad was using a tone of voice he used whenever someone died..."she recalled with a frown. She hadn't told this story in a while, but it always managed to push at barely healed wounds. "Apparently, I had lost it. They told me I had been screaming... having a fit in the middle of class. They told me that I had grabbed my chair and attacked a classmate with it... I was pulled from school. My parents figured homeschooling me would help. It did... for a little bit. Then I went at my mother with a pair of scissors, apparently. Well, I guess that was the last straw to them. They dumped me off at this place, thinking they'd be able to fix me. I was first a C patient... then I was moved to B... My... 'episodes' became worse and I had them more often. Those so-called fits I had were nothing of my own volition. But, no one believes me. Bi-polar, schizophrenic, dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder... They keep trying to diagnose me with those diseases because they refuse to believe that there's something more to this than a chemical imbalance. So, all the medicine they put me on... It'll never help. It numbs me and dulls me... It turns me into the perfect empty vessel for them to do whatever they want with me," she was ranting at this point, burning off some of the frustrations that built up over years of being treated for things she knew she didn't have. She snapped back to where she was, as she had forgotten Yoshiki's presence for a brief moment.
Yoshiki's eyes were slowly drawn back to her as she went on telling her story. Though it was becoming more of a little rant at the end, it was a pretty troubling tale. He wasn't sure what to make of it... But, honestly... he may believe it... more so than her actually being crazy. Just... her demeanor, the way she talked, all seemed completely normal... Well, for now. If she was kept her for however long, she'd probably start to become crazy for real. But, if she was sick, it may be best to keep her in here... Ugh, he hated being at a moral crossroads like this. It didn't happen often, bu he was always nervous of making the wrong choice. "I... see," he said slowly, his eyes looking toward the ground thoughtfully. "A question, though... If there are ghosts, and you can't keep them from controlling you, do you think... you should be in here?" he asked her as his eyes came back to her, as he wanted to see her own moral standing. Of course it was bad in here... But even if she was telling the truth, it didn't eliminate the danger she posed to those around her. He'd like to see... what she thought.
Ayumi's eyes hardened at the question, something about hearing it aloud put a lump in her throat. She let out a small, bitter laugh. "I've never said anything about getting out, have I? I just don't want to be on their medicine..." she admitted, gut twisting at the weight of an entire lifetime in this place. "When I was younger, if my parents had tried to understand... there's means of keeping ghosts out. Mediums make a job of it. But, I think it's too late for me to be able to control this... Besides, it isn't like they'll even let me try," she said with a small shrug. Nakano always said she wouldn't play into Ayumi's fantasies... that it would be enabling her to give her those books on psychics and ghosts. Ayumi doubted her ability to master it to the point she'd be able to live among the general population, but it would be nice have some control.
Yoshiki glanced away again, feeling a small pang of pity. He didn't want to do anything beyond this whole food deal... He was afraid he'd actually start to feel like he was responsible for her... He'd wait and see... and think on what he'd do. He felt this would take a large deal of sorting through. "I guess that's true...," he mentioned with a slightly more solemn tone, though he quickly returned to his blank expression. "Well... don't take it if you want, but... after a few times, they'll probably get people to force it on you," he told her, even though he was aware that she had probably already gone through such a process, maybe even multiple times. His hand reached through slightly, pulling the tray back over and placing it with the rest.
Ayumi didn't like knowing he was pitying her. That's probably what the entire food thing was about. She was in a normal state of mind when not possessed, and he probably could read that. So, he pitied her, and to feel better, he seemed to be feeding her. As irritating as it could be, she'd take the meals while she could. She looked at him, considering the fact he was backing down on insisting she take her pills. "They won't if you get rid of the pills," she noted with a neutral tone. She was pretty sure that was what the last guy did. Weeks of not taking medication without having the rougher guards come in... the previous guard had to have flushed the pills or threw them away. Hell, maybe he sold them. Either way, it was less trouble for both of them. Maybe she could use this guy's pity towards her to keep the process going.
Yoshiki was in the process of stacking the trays when he heard a suggestion from Ayumi. He gave her a half smile, his eyes narrowed. "Sorry, I'm not that kind of worker. Even if you aren't sick, I can't help you concerning breaking the rules. Your past guard probably did that, but don't expect it from me," he told her, then turned his head back and began wheeling the cart back to the cafeteria. If he decided to, he'd find other ways to help her... but he wasn't going to be dishonest and just get rid of her pills. Of course he felt a little bad, since he didn't want the rougher guards coming in, but there was little he could do about that while still keeping his work ethics in tact.
Ayumi frowned at his direct rejection to her suggestion. She guessed she shouldn't be surprised, since he seemed like a by-the-books type guard, which was frustrating in its own way. She somewhat missed her old, lazy guard that didn't bother her with questions or throw curve balls her way. She watched as he went off, her stomach churning as she realized she was going to be back on her medicine really soon. Which meant her visitors will be coming around more frequently. Once this guard saw her in her turned state, she doubted he'd keep wasting money to get her to buy meals. She sighed, the powerlessness of it all was once again making itself apparent. She had no control whatsoever.