CHAPTER 2- how did I let it get to this point?
I dug my head farther into the pillow. I just let my fresh tears run down my face and drop without rubbing them away, because like a waterfall they weren't stopping. I glanced over at the glowing green numbers on my alarm clock in the dark.
3:00 A.M
I tumbled over trying once more to get comfortably positioned, but seep was far too away from me now. Frustrated, I threw my comforter onto my hard wood bedroom floor, and gladly let the cool fresh air chill my body that was only covered by a tank top and pajama shorts. I didn't want to be warm. I wanted to be cold, like him… I wanted him. Never could I remember needing someone so desperately, and I wondered how I ever let myself get to such a torturous point. I closed my eyes, and again attempted one last time to shut out these thoughts and close down my mind, but when the only thing detectable was the darkness behind my shut eyelids it brought me back to Edwards face. It brought me to the day that the unbelievable became believable and the non-existent became my intense reality.
"Abby!"… "Abby!" I called out the name of my lab-chow mix's name into the pine trees. Once again she escaped the worn-out fence that held her in my backyard, by digging a large hole under the distorted wires big enough for her to squeeze through. I find myself trudging the trails in the woods behind my old house in Forks, Washington more than I ever wanted to because my industrious, workaholic of a mother falls short to get it fixed or replaced. Once I remember her getting caught up in a "meeting" when I was 7 and missed my dance recital… well at least that was her excuse. I quickly shook off the thoughts about my scornful mother and continued yelling for Abby. I had no clue to how far she decided to go so I continued hollering for her, scanning the area, and advancing further into the brush. Time passed, and I made my way farther and farther out in the forest with no sign or clue of where my dog was. "UGH!" I groaned loudly and plopped my now fatigued body on a stump near an old oak tree. Rubbing my hands on my forehead, I accepted defeat and yelled out to my un-seen mutt, "Wherever you are you can just stay there! You obviously like it better anyways!" but the woods still continued to be almost utterly silent. My eyes wondered out in the distance, at the color changed leaves that were falling as the wind blew. Fall had always been my favorite season, around this time my dad would be taking me to pick out a pumpkin so we can carve it or to a small town fall festival … man did I miss him. Even though I am 18 I wish I could still do daddy-daughter stuff, and even though I'm 18 I still cannot put my mind around how any parent could get up and leave their kid behind all because of a failed marriage. In the midst of my nostalgia a large bird in one of the swaying trees caught my eye in the far stretch of forestation. Even though it was a far ways away I could determine it was much larger than any normal bird, and the way it sat there on the branch was unsettling… almost frightening. For the sake of my curiosity I began to walk toward the clearing in the woods squinting as I went to make out the figure better. My heart suddenly seemed to skip a beat when I, realizing this wasn't what I thought it was, became close enough to visualize it. Everything about it was wrong… the way it crouched, and stared in my direction, and the way the shaggy blonde hair covered the face… this was a man. My heart started pounding and something inside of me told this was treacherous and that something was moving me quickly away from there. The only sound I could hear was the loud crunching of crushing October leaves under my boots, but I still felt as if I was being followed, so I looked over my shoulder again and again as I paced down the trail. Whatever that was in the tree startled me But suddenly, I stopped in my tracks with a new feeling of ease. What if I'm running from nothing? The thoughts that clogged my mind seemed to fade and I was left with a sort of an unnatural serene feeling. Before I could even give this another thought I was slammed into the ground by a magnificent force, my face buried in the leaves. My whole body seemed to ache as I felt what seems like a man on top of me, but was quickly thrown off. Everything seemed to be in fast forward from there. My legs were pulled and I was drug backwards and me left arm was yanked with such an incredible strength I was sure something was seriously injured. The once almost silent woods were filled with sounds of crashing, swooshing, and struggling of two unidentified men. I laid there shaking on the ground , hopeless and scared, but the little bit of the courageous side in me (and the obvious curiosity) I slowly lifted my head to catch a glimpse of my aggressor and my defender, but nothing could prepare me for the sight that lay in front of me.