Dear amyantuanete thank you for your comment. Fate's still deciding what to do with Gail. ;)
Yes, maybe you might think I have too much time but I keep on pondering about things like Psychoanalysis. It's possible that I'm not right in some points and you could interpret it differently because, beware I'm not a professional. (+ I need a beta haha)
"The essence of repressionlies simply in turningsomething away, and keeping it at a distance, fromthe conscious." (Freud, "Repression")
Over the weekend Gail was going to visit Chris for the first time since he had gone to Ottawa. After 3 long weeks Gail was really missing his presence, although they were skyping it wasn't the same of course.
Anyway, it was just Thursday and she needed to survive these 2 more days until she could finally go there.
Sighing and leaning back in her chair Gail tiredly rubbed her eyes. She had just been trying to read over a long and difficult text about Psychoanalysis. They had been watching the classic movie "Psycho" by Alfred Hitchcock in class and now they had to write about Freud's theory which ran like a common thread through the whole movie.
Gail tried to summarize it shortly: The guy in the movie – Norman Bates - had been under pressure all his life by his old mother who constantly laid obligations upon him which he desperately tried to fulfil. While he probably couldn't match up to her expectations, she would forbid him as well to meet any women, telling him they were bad. A young and beautiful lady, who stole a lot of money, shows up by accident in his Motel and a figure in women's cloths kills her while she's in the shower. Norman is sure that it was his mother who killed the girl out of jealousy. He hides the girl's body in her car (which is packed with the money he doesn't know about) and dumps everything into the muddy marsh behind his house. The Film continues, Norman's mother apparently kills more people but in the end it is revealed that it was all Norman, dressing up like his mother and he's caught by the police. They investigate him, finding out that he has a split personality. Ten years ago he had killed his mother, mummified her and hid her body in the cellar, still speaking to her. In the last scene the car is pulled out of the marsh.
Gail looked at the facts. Freud's theory claiming that there was the ID, the EGO and the SUPER-EGO, she now had to put the film like a puzzle into the theory.
The ID meant the unconsciousness, the basic, instinctual drives of human beings seeking for pleasure. There was no organization in this deep, well hidden part of everyone's personality. Freud describing it as "… a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations", so this was Norman/his mother killing the girl out of pure pleasure to avoid the pain her presence brought to him.
The EGO which was Norman's developed rationality, trying to fit into reality. Freud called it "the man on the horseback, who has to hold in check the superior strength of the horse". That was on one side his mother - telling him what was wrong and what was right and on the other side it was him – covering up what his "mother" did and trying to bring reason over passion but in the end giving in.
The SUPER-ID – probably as well his mother – aiming for perfection. Norman wanted to be perfect; he wanted to do everything to live up to the standards he had set for himself.
Not only suffering from the Freudian Oediups conflict but as well having a split personality, Norman had to face the consequences of his doing in the end – the car with the remains of his crime being pulled out from the alleged untransparent marshes.
Gail sighed again. This was definitely not a happy story. Gail didn't know if Norman's mother had been very dominant when still alive but she could feel his pain on all of 3 levels. The film had surely been exaggerated, which was the point of it, but Gail could relate his feelings towards his ruling mother. On one side detesting her and on the other side loving her because being him was being her.
She and her mother also had a problematic relationship, Gail never knew if she could fulfil the expectations her mother set her. The theory in general was surely interesting but Gail doubted that all of it could be true, though she'd love to know what was hidden in her ID if something like that existed…
Gail decided that this was enough studying for one evening. She switched on her Notebook, opening Facebook, when suddenly her phone rang. It was Chris.
"Hi how are you? Is everything alright? You didn't call or write me all day, I just wanted to check on you."
"Hi, yes sure I'm fine! I'm sorry, I was in such a hurry all day, I totally forgot about it. I'm ok actually, just really tired and worn out from school today. We were talking about Psychoanalysis in class. How are you?"
Chris voice changed from the anxious tone before to hurt "Oh right so you forgot… Well, I understand that there are more important things on your mind than me! Art there already any handsome university guys in your course?"
Gail was taken off-guard "Chris, please! You know exactly that that's not true, can you stop doing this, you know that I'm already looking forward to seeing you on the weekend!"
"Mmmh, so last week you didn't come because your mum told you to come over and you just couldn't say no and the week before you told me that I had to organize my room in the dormitory and you would come over the weekend after, which you, as I said, abandoned for your mum!"
Gail got angry "Don't be unfair now Chris, you know that I wanted to come and you know my mum as well, I just couldn't say no because if I did she would still remind me of it lying on her deathbed! I don't get you sometimes. Spare me with this, you know it's not easy for me as well!", trying not to sound as being on the verge of tears Gail quickly gulped down some water.
Chris voice changed again "I know, I'm sorry I don't know why I'm being such an idiot… It's just hard for me without you. I didn't meet any people here yet that I can relate to and you can still be around with all our friends plus I miss you so much… And you know that I can't travel so much at the moment"
"I know Chris, it isn't easy and I know that your financial situation at home doesn't allow you to go anytime you want to Toronto but your parents live an hour from Ottawa, I'm sure they can come to pick you up and maybe you can meet some childhood friends?"
Chris sighed "Yes, you are right, it's just so difficult with my mum being ill and I don't feel close to anyone of the people I knew before I went to Toronto. I was 15 at that time! But enough of that… Really Gail, did you meet any nice people yet?"
"Yes, there are some people from university, we went for a drink on Monday and they were all really lovely. Especially a girl called Holly. She's studying medicine but she wants to become a forensic pathologist and she's attending crime scene courses with us. We were talking to each other in class every day until now. I think I could use a new friend as well."
Chris said "Great! I'm glad. But it's already 11pm I think I'll go to sleep, I need to get up early in the morning. Talk to you soon love."
"Alright Chris, have a good night. Bye."
The next day at school
Gail was sitting as usually together with her friends when suddenly Holly dropped in the seat next to her.
"Hi, is it alright when I sit here?"
"Haha, you are already sitting here anyway. What do you want me to tell you?"
Andy said "Gail don't be so rude! Hi Holly, of course you can sit here, how are you?"
Gail countered "Shut it McNally, firstly that it is the place next to ME and not next to you and I decide who can sit there and secondly Holly knows that it was just a joke, don't you Holly?"
Holly laid her hand upon Gail's on the table and squeezed it "My dear Gail, I know that you wouldn't even dare to." Her eyes twinkled mischievously.
For a moment Gail was lost for words. Holly didn't pull her hand away. "Why's that so?"
"You would miss my super sparkling company and there would be nobody able to explain to you what was going on in class when you zoom out again. Yes, I saw that you do a lot of daydreaming officer Peck!"
Gail pulled away her hand angrily, realizing how oddly warm it had become under Holly's touch. She waggled it around in the air. "I don't do ANY daydreaming!"
Holly smiled "Don't get upset, it's ok I do it too sometimes. You can't deny it, I saw it."
"Oh so you are watching me or what!?"
"Maybe just a little bit, it's just funny to look at you, you seem to be on another planet sometimes."
Gail opened her mouth wanting to say that it wasn't true at all when the bell rang. She shot Holly a look and just said "So stop talking and concentrate on class if you are already such an I-know-it-all-Nerd.", and with that she demonstratively stared at the professor who had just appeared, showing or rather feigning undivided interest.
With her eyes fixed on the chalkboard she heard Holly chuckling quietly next to her.
The class went on without any bigger interruptions. Gail took notes, they would be finishing today on the Freudian theory. If it had been up to Gail they could have definitely talked more about it but unfortunately it was just a general introduction.
She leaned back a bit in her chair, her bare lower arm suddenly touching Holly's. Gail froze.
What the hell was going on, maybe Holly had fever that Gail felt so hot today whenever she touched her. She blinked once and then twice and gazed down again at their touching lower arms. The seats in the seating row were quite closely spaced so it was normal to bump together with someone now and then. Gail decided to leave her arm like that just checking how Holly would react. She didn't dare to look at her but she felt that Holly staring at their arms as well.
Goosebumps erupted from Holly's skin. Yes, probably she had fever and this was the moment when the physical feeling suddenly changed from hot to cold. Gail was sure.
Holly shifted but didn't remove her arm. Instead she leaned forward and stretched her fingers to reach for a pen. Gail was mesmerised, Holly's hands were fascinating. How didn't she notice that before? She couldn't precisely put a finger on what was so unique about them but she had always loved examining people's hands (although it was a weird hobby), and this ones were rather unique for sure. They weren't exactly feminine but manly neither, they more likely looked as if Holly could work very hard if needed to. Gail usually saw a similar type of hands on older people, who had dedicated their life to whatever they truly stood up for.
Gail noticed slight tingling where her skin touched Holly's and she was kind of delighted when the bell declared the end of the lesson and Holly somehow snapped out of her trance, withdrawing her arm.
Everyone stood up and started packing their things together. Just Gail remained like rooted in her seat. Traci touched her shoulder "Come on Gail we should go."
Holly was already gone. Nick, Sam and Chloe, who Gail hadn't even registered coming to class were still packing their things together in the row behind her.
Nick said "Hey, there's a concert outside in the park next to the Campus. Some bands are playing live music and as an extra there's cheap beer. Do you want to come? I guess Holly is already outside."
Gail finally managed to back her things together and they went outside.
While they were walking Traci linked her arm with Gail's "Are you alright Gail? You look a little bit pale."
Gail replied "Thanks Traci, I'm fine. I just feel dizzy. I don't know why. Let's go and see the concert, who's playing actually?"
"I don't know, come on lets go and see."
When they reached the field with the stage on which the band was playing, Gail detected Holly standing with Sam, already with a beer mug in their hands.
Gail sighed, when she heard the first sounds of music floating to her, a nice version of one of her favourite songs and just the passage she loved so much.
Perfect summer's night
You're the wind and breeze
Just the bullets whispering, gentle amongst the new green leaves
There's things I might have said
Only wish I could
Now I'm leaking life faster than I'm leaking blood
They grabbed some beer as well and joined the others.
Tbc