Hello! I updated due to the awesome reviews I got :) Thank you so much to anyone who read/reviewed/favorited this story! This is chapter two, and Toby is starting to take on the task of consoling Spencer, who after –A being revealed, will be scarred for a long, long time. I hope you enjoy it!
*I do not own PLL or The Voice Within by Christina Aguilera.
"The doctor will see you now," an official looking woman in a pantsuit exclaimed. Toby stood up and entered Dr. Sullivan's office, slightly nervous but determined to help these girls. Since returning to Rosewood, Anne had realized that she was much needed in the town and decided to stay to counsel people. And although she wouldn't come out and say it, it was obvious that one of the main reasons for not leaving after the Masquerade Ball was the girls.
Spencer gave him a half-smile when he walked into the room and sat down beside her. Dr. Sullivan stared at the group expectantly, prodding one of them to speak, so Aria blurted out, "we were talking about how you can't fully recover from something like this!"
Toby looked around at the four faces in front of him and his heart broke. Hopelessly, he turned to Dr. Sullivan.
"As you know, what everyone in this town went through was difficult, and sometimes there are ways to look past what's behind us, but it's not something you will likely overcome. You just need to find ways to cope." She explained, mostly for Toby's benefit.
It had been one week since the unmasking of –A, but the girls were still so confused and the discovery of Mona's hidden identity just led to more questions. "Why" and "how" proved to be some of the biggest ones. They thought that when they determined who their tormentor was, that they would be able to get some sleep at night. Unfortunately, the revelation opened a whole new can.
Hanna, almost shaking her head in disbelief, said, "She was my friend. Was she just using me to get to everyone else?" Her friends shook their heads "no", trying to console her. As if on cue, Caleb rushed in.
"Sorry I'm late! They're still got…" he paused, looked at Emily, and finished hurriedly with, "that road blocked."
Dr. Sullivan saw this exchange and asked, "Emily?"
In a cold, distant voice she spoke. "I don't know what to say. I'm—it's all so—numb" She continued, slightly more sure of her words now. "Everywhere I look I think—nothing matters now. Maya's gone. Maya's dead, and I did that."
Spencer tensed and Toby squeezed her leg softly, but still she said, "No, Em! It wasn't. You helped her—she couldn't have known what coming back to this town would do."
"Spencer's right, Em," Aria added, reaching out to hold her friend's hand comfortingly.
"I lost both of them," Emily divulged. "Alison and then Maya."
"I know you must be wondering why. It doesn't seem fair." Dr. Sullivan said. Before she could go on, Hanna interrupted with the most painfully true thing.
"It's not."
The teens continued their counseling for the allotted amount of time and thanked Dr. Sullivan for everything—giving Rosewood a second chance and helping the girls have a second try at happiness.
Spencer then Toby hugged Emily and Hanna, those two bid Aria goodbye, and Caleb parted with Spencer, Toby, and Aria. All in all, Toby was driving Spencer and Aria home, with Caleb taking the remaining girls (Hanna and Emily) to their houses.
Toby took his place in the driver's seat, and with the shutting of the door came silence. Since the exposition of –A; Spencer, Hanna, and Emily had been unable to drive. It was just in everyone's best interest that they stay away from behind the wheel. Spencer's last occurrence in a car on that fateful day had been awakening groggily to a manic Mona sporting leather gloves, who had later attempted to murder her. Hanna's was slamming on the brakes of her car within inches of the very same unstable Mona, her once-best friend—immobilized by the fact that she was indeed –A. Emily hadn't been able to do anything more than drag herself to therapy and cry since losing Maya. It was truly a heartbreaking situation for all. She wasn't consistent enough to eat regularly, so driving was out of the question.
Breaking the silence, Spencer managed, "So, Aria, how's Ezra?" and her friend visibly brightened.
"He got a teaching job at the University of Pennsylvania which is only like twenty minutes away! The teaching director there called the Dean at Hollis as a reference and he didn't say one thing about us. Although, I think he felt bad about…the –A thing."
In the days following Mona's unveiling; the Rosewood residents had been nothing short of pitying to the girls. After suffering so much speculation and being accused falsely more than their fair share of times, it seemed like the right thing to do to start anew. Everyone in the town had been careful to avoid anymore doubt when it came to the girls and Alison's untimely death. Since that night last week, the four teens had been treated with enough sympathy and condolences to last them a lifetime.
Toby spoke up now, saying, "It's about time the people here start forgiving." Spencer mentally kicked herself. Before any of the girls had been people of interest in the murder investigation, Toby was the prime suspect. Even Spencer had fallen for this rumor, which she regretted wholeheartedly. He had been tormented as well.
He dropped Aria off at her house, and then drove the short distance remaining to the Hasting's manor. The couple went into the barn where they had taken up permanent residence since the event the girls had started to call "The Mona Thing".
The two settled on an armchair, with Spencer resting her head on Toby's shoulder. "Everything alright?" he asked her, referring not, of course, to the accident.
"It's just been so…crazy. How we go mindlessly from school to therapy with our psychologist who was kidnapped by our stalker!"
Thinking his reply through for a moment, Toby said, "but isn't it better that those things are over so you can focus on the recovery?"
"True."
Both Toby and Spencer had been asleep for hours now, and her struggled cries and flailing woke him up in the midst of the darkest hour. Her strangled breaths brought him to inexplicable sadness inside, and he immediately turned the nearest lamp on.
"Spencer, it's me. It's OK, breathe. Breathe." Toby tried to console her, but it was as though she had been forced underwater and held there. She could sob—it was the inhaling and exhaling that posed an issue. When her breathing had become a mild shaky instead of a heart-stopping hyperventilation, it seemed like his voice was finally getting through to Spencer.
"Shh, you're not alone. All that's over. Breathe in, and out. Good." Toby reached for something on the bedside table and set it in front of his girlfriend. Even through the tears she cried he could see her attempting to muster a smile.
"Th-thank you, To-o-by." In a slow stutter she regained her speech. It happened like this every time—after that night she had frequent nightmares, and the panic attacks plagued Spencer. She hated them with every fiber of her being, but there was nothing she could do to prevent or stop them in their tracks. They consumed her, but she was eternally grateful for Toby coming to her aid night after night, and not leaving for someone less needy. He knew these were inevitable. The post traumatic stress wouldn't be necessary if not for Mona anyway, so if blame were to be put on someone, it would go to –A herself.
Spencer clutched the teddy bear Toby had just given her, reminiscing about when it had been purchased. Working as a sleeping pill, the stuffed animal had her quickly drifting off to slumbers. Toby watched her as she recovered from her breakdown and let sleep seep in.
If only he could penetrate her thoughts!
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl it's alright
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
& You'll find the strength that will guide your way
You'll learn to begin to trust the voice within
For the first time in a long time, Spencer dreamt of something happy. Normally she would have been replaying the masked ball over and over until she woke up, dizzy and nauseous. Not tonight in Toby's arms, though. Her subconscious brought back the memory of the teddy bear…
*Flashback*
Spencer exited the doors to Rosewood High for the first time following Mona's divulging and headed towards the sidewalk. A familiar truck caught her eye.
Incredulously, she asked, "Toby? What are you doing here?"
Considerate as ever, he helped her in and replied, "I figured you'd be a little…overwhelmed after school, so we're going somewhere."
Spencer's hand immediately shot towards the door. Her heart raced. "No, please Toby." She began urgently. "Where are we going?"
"Spencer. I know you've been through more than anyone should, and I know it's scary to elt people in, but you told me not to shut people out and I listened! So please, Spence, trust me. You have to learn how to trust again!" After his little recitation, he slipped Spencer's hand into his own and met her gaze. She looked so, so afraid but said nothing else so he started up the truck and drove. Not even ten minutes later, they arrived at the Rosewood Mall. Without talking, the couple got out and entered a toy store.
"Really, Toby?" Spencer puzzled.
He just grinned. "You'll see!" He led her over to the stuffed animal section and instructed her to pick out a teddy bear. Needless to say, she objected.
"Toby, come on! This is stupid. Let's go home."
He raised his eyebrows at the sullen girl. "Oh, this is stupid? Stupid like being afraid to come to a mall toy store?"
"OK, in my defense you made it sound like—" Spencer started to respond but Toby was not done yet.
"Scared like being afraid to do anything or go anywhere because you were worried your stalker would lash out? Or scared like breaking up in order to protect each other because someone wasn't at peace with the fact that we were content?"
His words rang true and Spencer had soon picked out a small, chestnut-colored teddy bear with a worn red bow around its neck.
Toby reached into his pocket to take out his wallet, and right away she protested.
"Spencer," he said, gently but in a firm tone. "It's barely five dollars. I'll live. You gave me hope, love, a reason to stay, a truck, and most of all…you. I think the least I can do is give you a teddy bear." He counted these things on his fingers as he listed them.
Six minutes later they were back in the truck, Spencer toting a mini reminder of Toby's everlasting love. Nothing else mattered in the world, as long as her bear and her man remained safe.
I hope you liked it! The flashback part especially was really fun to write.