Usual is never quite usual
It was just another ordinary day at Yorozuya. Shinpachi arrived early (as usual) to pick up the newspaper that was still lying on the front door due to Gintoki's laziness. He'd then take his ordinary steps into the Yorozuya office and was greeted with an ordinary sight of the silver hair Samurai, dead drunk on the couch with the television turned on.
Shinpachi sighed.
"Gin-san, how many times do I have to tell you to turn the TV off when you are going to sleep? You are just adding unnecessary numbers to our electricity bills, you know?"
"Ah, shut it, Patsuan. Why are you always nagging at me first thing in the morning? Can't you tell that I am drunk?" grunted Gintoki lazily as he got up, his hair sticking out like some unkempt grass field. A bottle of Sake and strawberry milk mixed together lay wasted by the couch.
At that, Shinpachi popped a vein in his forehead.
"BECAUSE YOU ARE ALWAYS COMPLAINING TO ME ABOUT HOW THE ELECTRICITY BILL IS SO EXPENSIVE, YOU USELESS PERM!"
"I LEFT THE TV ON BECAUSE I WANT TO HEAR KETSUNO ANNA FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, NOT YOUR MOTHERLY NAGGING! NO WONDER HIRO-KUN TURNED REBELLIOUS. IT IS BECAUSE OF YOU!"
"WHO THE HELL IS HIRO-KUN?!"
Regardless of their argument, Shinpachi picked up the bottle on set it on the table. There was no use in fighting with Gintoki when he was this hung over, after all. All the boy could do was to wait for the Samurai to sober up and realize how stupid he was being by himself (which, usually, he never came to realize that fact).
Gintoki- still looking green- directed his attention to the television and turned up the volume while Shinpachi unfolded the newspaper.
'Black Bunny Killer Strikes Again!'
Those big black letters screamed at Shinpachi.
'Another murder case of a Yato-'
Said the television, before it will be cut short because Gintoki shuffled the channel around, changing the image of a serious looking reporter into a stripper straddling a cow.
"Change the channel back, you fool!" yelled Shinpachi, slapping the newspaper at his employer's face at full force, "can't you take a look at the real issue at hands instead of looking at a stripper in the morning?!"
"Real issues? You want to know what the real issues are?!" shot back Gintoki who fell to the floor, a hand rubbing his swollen cheek, "it's domestic abuse! This, THIS is the real issue, Patsuan! How could you hit me? Even Ketsuno Anna never hit me!"
"Most people haven't been hit by Ketsuno Anna!"
"Well, she and I have a special connection! She just doesn't know it yet. But I know that our relationship in the future will involve her spanking me…"
"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT SHIT!" shouted Shinpachi, blushing at the topic that involved any kind of kinky play due to his virgin status, "at any rate, you should be paying attention to the news! The victims are those mighty warriors of the Yato clan, you know? What if something were to happen to Kagura-chan?!"
"Kagura will be fine, you idiot. A mountain gorilla… I mean, a girl who can stop a bike with one hand wouldn't any problem dealing with some serial killer."
"What kind of logic is that? Besides, despite all that is said and done, all the victims thus far are veteran warriors. They were the type that could and would have killed a person within just a heartbeat. Yet, they have all fallen to the same killer. Even Kagura-chan would have a trouble dealing with the killer."
Gin sighed. "You are looking at it too seriously. There's no proof that the guy will come after Kagura. You said so yourself that the victims are veterans, correct?"
"Well, yes."
"But Kagura ain't no veteran. She's just an illegal immigrant who moved from her planet since when she was young. The guy probably doesn't even know she exists."
"But…"
Dismissively, Gin rolled on his back to face the couch, making it impossible to read his expression. "Kagura doesn't fit into the victims' profile. Besides, the killer only strikes after dark. As long as she gets home before then, she will be safe."
Quiet filled the room while a small smirk appeared on Shinpachi's face. Despite his appearance of being not interested, Gintoki knew an awful lot about this killer, which meant that he must have done his own research out of his concerns for Kagura.
"Ohohoho," teased Shinpachi, "I see how it is. You're such a Tsudere sometime."
"Who are you calling a tsudere, you Sis-con?! Just because some Yato serial killer is roaming around, you're kicking up such a fuss!"
"I'm not a Sis-con! I'm just worried that the guy might hurt Kagura-chan is all!"
At the loud mention of her name, the Yato girl who was disturbed from her slumber decided to make her grand entrance by hurling the closet door at the two men.
"SHUT UP! THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HURT ME RIGHT NOW IS THE LACK OF SLEEP, YOU FOOLS!" she yelled.
BAM!
Taking a direct hit in the face, the two struggled to get off the floor before Kagura's giant sukonbu box could hit them too.
"You brat! Who's going to pay for that door!?" shouted Gintoki. Two hit in the face after he has just woken up less than 10 minutes ago? Seriously?
"Hell if I care! Look at this," the girl said, pointing under her eyes, "the bags under my eyes are even darker than your future! And that's pretty freaking dark!"
"You complain about your skin," said Gintoki, "but you suck my wallet dry all the time! My wallet is now empty, just like my soul! I have no time to listen to your skin-deep woes, young lady!"
(Author's note: It somewhat rhymed, didn't it? Sorry. I just had to point that out no matter what.)
Shinpachi, recovering from the hit, joined in.
"What are you guys talking about?! I'm the one who's suffering here! I wear glasses, so I can see my future pretty well… AND IT ISN'T DARK!"
Screams, shouts, and cries were heard throughout the Yorozuya. Soon later, Otose sent Tama up stairs to shut her loud tenants up for good.
That was usual morning.
The unusual was what came after Kagura decided to take Sadaharu out for a walk, and never came back home.
Kabukichou: 3 AM
The street was chilly that night due to the wetness of the storm before, plus the drizzling rain that was lightly tapping on the ground. But despite the fog and coldness, figures of two men could be seen running around furiously.
"Gin-san!" panted Shinpachi as he joined Gintoki by the side of the street. "Have you found her yet?"
"No." Replied Gin shortly. His face was dark with such temper that would send chills running down anyone's back. Kagura has been gone for more than 19 hours now, and no one has even seen the trace of her.
And she said that she was only taking the dog out for a god damn walk.
"That girl sure is taking her time with the walk. Who normally walks the dog this long?"
"Gin-san, this is very unusual. I think that we should report this to the police. What if…"
"I know, Patsuan. But it hasn't been 24 hours yet. They won't take the case in."
"But this is a special case. A Yato serial killer is walking around, and the chances of her being spotted by him are pretty high. She stood out among the crowd with that parasol and skin."
"Dammit." Gin murmured. "Fine. We'll go the Shinsengumi and pull some strings. If it turns out that she is just out for a long walk, I swear I will shave that girl's head."
Just as Shinpachi was about to nod in agreement, beams of lights flashed into the faces of the two Yorozuya members along with shouts from all directions.
"Who goes there?!"
"Put your hands up in the air!"
"Okita- taichou, is that you?"
Shinpachi covered his eyes due to the light. However, he was able to make out a form of police officers in that fog.
"Hijikata-san?"
Upon hearing his name, Hijikata Toushirou stepped out from behind the men in uniforms who were holding swords and flashlights. His face was grim as smoke from his cigarette curled into the air.
Gintoki -who was unfazed by the ruckus and wore and equally dark expression- stared at the demon vice-commander of the Shinsengumi coolly.
"This is looking very suspicious. What the hell are you doing out here so late at night, Yorozuya?" questioned Hijikata.
"I could ask you the same," said Gin, "what is the great vice-commander doing out in the night here with his group of thugs? Trying to rip someone's tax off or something?"
The two grown men gave each other a long, hard stare. They were both being unusually edgy for their own reasons, and were about to have a serious face off, has it not been for Kondo Isao who came running down the street, tears and snot streaking down his face.
"Toshiiii! Have you found Sougo yet?! That stupid son of ours! I will hit him if I ever found out that he was fooling around with some girls! BECAUSE WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITHOUT OUR PRECIOUS BABY?!"
The tension loosened immediately. Shinpachi's mouth hung open.
"That Okita-san is missing?! Is that why you guys are out here? Gin-san, could this have something to do with Kagura-chan's disappearance?"
"China-san is missing also?" asked Kondo while patting his face with a frilly white handkerchief, "DOES THIS MEAN THAT THEY HAVE ELOPED TOGETHER?!"
Hijikata face palmed as he put out his cigarette.
"Seems like we have something to discuss, Yorozuya." He said.
Shinsengumi HQ: 4:30 AM
They were sitting around the table on the tatami. Tea was served as the four men discussed about what could have happened to their two companions.
"So you're saying that she has been missing since 9 after she said she was going to take the dog out for a walk?" revised Hijikata. Shinpachi nodded.
"Yes. We started to look for her after 7, because we were worried about the Black Bunny Killer that has been going around."
Hijikata nodded. "Sougo went missing since his morning run too. He was supposed to come back for his afternoon nap before patrolling again at 5, but he never did. We were worried that he might have gone after the killer himself, knowing his sadistic personality. But as it turned out, no one has seen his or the killer's corpse yet."
"This is getting quite worried some," said Kondo as he blew his nose. He'd then passed his used tissue to Gin casually. "Here. Use this to wipe your inner tears, Yorozuya."
"Just stuff that thing right back up your nose, Gorilla." Said Gin, grossed out of his mind.
"But where could they be?" questioned Shinpachi. "Are the two cases even related at all?"
That was the perfect moment for Yamazaki to bust into the room with his ninja suit. He walked quickly to the table as he pulled down his face mask and dropped a phone down in front of the four men.
"The hell is this, Yamazaki?" asked Hijikata.
The ninja sat down with a serious face.
"After you told me to look for any clues since 5:30, I ran across some kids who were talking about an irregular event that happened in the park."
"Irregular event?" repeated Hijikata. Yamazaki nodded.
"They spotted a terrifying, destructive fight at the park."
All four men sprang up from their seat.
"Was it the killer?" Asked Kondo. But Yamazaki just looked uncomfortable as he pointed at the phone.
"Some kids got it taped on their phone, so I borrowed it. Please take at the clip yourself."
Shinpachi snapped the phone open and immediately went into the video clip. The other men leaned over his shoulder, all surrounding the small screen, before the clip will started rolling in a low quality stream.
"God dammit Sadist, you stepped on my feet, you low bastard!"
"I don't want to hear that from someone who grabbed and twisted my genitals, Miss Piggy! I could file this as a sexual assault!"
"I dare you to! I will report you in for abuse of authority before you can even cry 'Daddy please help me!'"
Flashes of weapon swept through the screen at an extremely fast speed. Few other dialogues were exchanged, but not caught on camera.
"AHHH, BITCH DID YOU JUST LICKED YOUR FINGER AND STICK IT IN MY EAR?!"
"WHY YOU PIECE OF CRAP! YOU BIT ME!"
Name-callings and insults were exchanged, and then a flash of light suddenly beamed down from the sky onto the two. At this point, the screen was pretty much too bright, and the dialogues were too fuzzy to be heard properly.
"… Sadist! Police officers are… citizens!"
"Goodbye, China… Danna and Megane… you died…"
"Fuck you… alone…"
"What… leggo! Lemme go!"
"GYAAAAAA!"
The clip ended.
Silent filled the room.
Finally, Hijikata leaned back and took a long drag at his cigarette.
"From what we have just seen," he said, "I think that it is only correct that we conclude that they… Hmmm."
"They were abducted." Said Gintoki, rubbing his chin, "abducted by an alien like in some fucking alien movie."
What could have happened to them ? XD
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