Wow, I didn't expect so many people in such little time to be interested, thank you for taking interest !. Now on to the reviews and comments.
SOme reader
Well, I actually like an opening chapter. Pretty interesting but could you fix some capital letter for specific name such as character's name and place?
Sorry for my english skill.
Cj 145
Fixing the capitalizations, like the start of what their saying, should be done. Other than that, It's a good story.
Keep up the good work!
Yoshiki-909
You gensokyo has a the language boundary. Converts all spoken languages into one. When I speak English, Japanese words comes out, when they speak Japanese, English words is all I hear. Fix your Gensokyo knowledge. Language boundary doesn't change written language, only spoken speech.
Naresuan
Seems interesting.
Thank you all for the feedback, I can see the problem with the story is the capitalization and some grammar error. The reason that there are plenty of it because I don't really proofread but, I will try my best. The language problem I will fix it by making the spoken language all English (I will explain how they can speak with different languages and understand with a plot point). Thank you all for the feedback! now please enjoy chapter 2
P.S the one that runs north is Price not soap, how could he run separate direction at the same time? (Yeah, I can see why people complain about the writing)
Price's Pov
Price keeps running through the forest as fast as he could to could to get away.
"(What the bloody hell is this! Flying girls with magic powers!? I must have drunk too much scotch before I left!)"
Price stops running to catch his breath.
"I think I lost them...*looks around* but, now I am lost in this damn forest. Well I could survive months without contact of command so, surely I am going to find a place to stay in no time"
3 Hours later...
"Bloody hell... Don't tell me this forest is magic too" said Price while walking back and forth.
Price continues to wonder around and suddenly stumbles upon a weird looking plant, on the plant there is a banana between 2 large leaves with fairly sharp edges.
" A little snack couldn't hurt*picks the banana*"
"(Growl)"
"Huh?"
Suddenly the 2 large leaves clamp down on his arm with its sharp edges penetrating his skin causing bleeding
"ARRGHHH!"
The plant growls even more and suddenly roots gathered around him to hold him in place. Captain Price makes a quick decision to use his other arm to grab his holstered M4
"Eat this you bugger!"
Captain Price fires the M4 with one hand and fires it at the plant's trunk, killing it and makes its roots to unwrap him. Price holstered his M4 and hold his injured hand tightly
"bloody plant did a number on me, damn that hurts"
Price slowly backs away and suddenly stepped on a large blue mushroom that release yellow spores
"BLARGH! *coughs*"
Price runs away to avoid inhaling more spores
5 minutes later...
Price walks limping through the forest as his vision gets blurry and he starts to hear voices
"Price, you know that cuts both ways..."
"Makarov? ..."
"50 thousand people used live in this city. Now it's a ghost town..."
" Mac !?"
Price vision gets blurrier and he suddenly sees people he known. Suddenly he sees Al Assad executing president al-Fulani. After doing so he just stands there looking at Price in the eyes. More voices comes in with the sunlight getting brighter
" Goodbye captain Price..."
Suddenly Makarov appears in front of him with Russian ultra nationalist soldiers around him and they all aim their guns at Price. He ignores it and tried to walk through them but he was suddenly punched by Makarov
"Thought you could just walk off captain?"
"Shut the bloody hell up, you're dead"
"I might be... look at you now, roaming in an unknown world where you have a chance of losing your fellow men, sounds familiar don't you think?"
" You ain't fuckin' real, go back to hell and send Zakhaev my regards"
"I guess if I am not real then, this is not real also..."
Makarov pulls out a .50 Cal Dessert eagle and aims it at him. The soldiers around Makarov gets ready to fire as well. Price quickly throws his flashbangs and cover his eyes blinding his foe. He tried as best as he could to pick off every single one of them with his M4 one handedly since his other arm is injured. The people that he shot immediately turns into yellow spores and more and more of them keeps popping up from out of sight. He couldn't keep up with the appearing soldiers and he was shot multiple times until he fell into his knees, Makarov suddenly appears again and this time he approaches the injured Price and aims his Dessert Eagle dead center at Price's head. Price made another quick decision and stands to tackle Makarov. When he tackles Makarov, their surroundings changed into their final encounter with him smashing Makarov into a glass roof but this time after he smashed Makarov he disappeared and he fell down towards the bottom floor with everything turning to black when he reaches the bottom.
Sometime later...
At the outskirts of the human village Keine was walking around in her human form to check for any disturbances. She looks around the place which is quite empty at the moment and sees nothing in particular
"Looks like everything is fine here"
"*rustles in a nearby bush* bloody... Makarov... Sheppard..."
"Huh?"
Suddenly captain Price walks out of the bush with him holding his injured hand, muttering, breathing heavily, and heavy eyelids before falling down in front of her
"(That is a weird looking outfit, is this one of the outsiders? He must of accidentally went into the forest of magic poor thing)"
He continues to mutter and she took pity of him
"(He doesn't look dangerous... yet, I should still help him)"
Keine picks him up and carries him over the shoulder
"Up you go, let's see if Reisen still around"
Ghost pov
Ghost unlike captain Price decided to escape using the dirt road. Ghost got behind a tree and looks back to see if he is being followed. Realizing that he is not being followed anymore he puts down his bag to drink his canteen.
"*gulps water* bloody hell must have run a mile, OK so what should I do know? (find a settlement?) there is a high chance of more magical girls that would take me apart (roam around?) don't know much about this place, God knows what lurks beyond the main trail (turn back and hope that you could try to talk to those magical girls?) yeah! And maybe they're so kind enough to let me stay in their house and fuck their elder sister! Bloody hell years in the SAS never in my life I would ever be in this situation*sigh* no use sitting around better see where this trail leads"
Ghost continue walking down the trail with his m4 in his hand and on high alert, he encounters an intersection with 3 signs, one pointing toward his direction (Hakurei Shrine), one to the left (misty lake), and one to the right (Myouren temple).
"Where to go ..."
Sorry for the short chapter guys, I hope the improvements is not marginal. One thing I would like to note is that I will try to update once a week if I can but, If I don't upload in a week expect an update the week after. I would also like to point out that I don't really know much where this going and the rest of the continuation is still in thought process. Well that is it for now see you guys next time