Hi guys .. First of all I wanna thank "Glee4ever123" cause she was the fist one to review and it was simple but it really made my smile , so thank you =D
I also wanna thank all of you guys for following my fic I'm glad you like it.
Second, I'll post a Spanish version of this fic , I still have to translate everything so it will be for next week.
And I still don't have a beta BUT I re-read everything like twice to make sure I didn't made any mistake , but if you find some please let me know.
Thats all , I don't own Glee and ENJOY!
Back to the beginning
Chapter 2
I entered Moon Light expecting not to find anyone there, but of course I didn't have such luck , why would I ? with the day I already had all I wanted was to hide under my bed till all of this was over. The place was dark , it always is at this time of the day, but I could see a light coming from the little office behind the bar.
- I never thought I'll live to see this day - there he was , the asshole that is my brother , Puck. The story with that is that my dad and his mom married when I was five he was six, his biological father is worst than my...well I could never think of her like a mother so I usually just call her "she", not that I think or speak about her much. Anyway, back when we were teenager he came once to "borrow" money from Puck , it was the first time he saw him sinds he was five, and after that never saw him again, wich is good. At least "she" never came by making me believe she cared about me when all she wanted was money. That something right ?
I just ignored his commentary and went for a beer but I needed something stronger so I took a bottle of Tequila and a glass and sat at the bar. He came and sat next to me .
- Okay I'm listening - he said looking at me.
- Nothing - I said before drinking my second Tequila shot. He just laugh like I had just tell the joke of the year before speaking again.
- Cut that crap lil' sis - he said taking the bottle away from me when I was about to refill my glass for the fourth time.
- HEY ! - I protest and glared at him.
I saw him roll his eyes, he took my glass and refilled it before he gave it back - now stop whining and speak-
I took my time drinking my shot and saw by the corner of my eye how impatient he was getting , if I was going to spill the beans at least I could have a little fun no ? I turned to look at him.
- Do you remember Liza ? - he frowned at my question.
- Of course that bitc...-
- She died - I stopped him before he could finish that sentence. I saw the shock on his face and saw him look around for a few minutes before looking back at me.
- What happen ? -
It didn't took long for me to tell him everything I knew after all it wasn't much. All I knew was that she died of a brain tumor and that she claim that the boy was mine. I didn't knew when she died? Or for how long she was sick ? Or where she lived ? Or if she didn't have anyone who could take care of the boy ? Or how old he was ? I didn't know anything so I forced myself to stop thinking about it after all it wasn't my problem and I shouldn't care about it.
- What are you gonna do ? - I heard Puck speak. I looked from the empty glass I was holding to him.
- Mmh ? What? - I felt a bit tipsy , I had drank a couple more of shots while I was speaking and when you want to get drunk it actually happen faster than usually , that and I had drank it way too fast.
- What are you gonna do ? - he asked again
- Nothing - I took another tequila shot.
- What you mean nothing ? - he reached over and took the bottle. - and stop drinking, this shit is serious-
I had to laugh at that , like seriously ? Tell me about it.
- I know is fucking serious Noah - the anger had started to take over and you could clearly hear it in my voice.- what am I supposed to do anyway ? - I actually didn't want an answer to that question.
- You're supposed to grow up Santana. - I tried to take the bottle but he pushed me away, fucking asshole.
- You have no idea what she did to me - I almost whispered looking down at my hands on my lap - I ca-I can't take care of her child, I just can't Noah - the need of ripping his head off his shoulders was gone , and all I wanted to do was sit down and cry.I knew that was because of the alcohol.
- Of course I know what she did to you , I was there remember ? - he voice was soft like when he talks to Beth.
And with that all the memories and the pain came back, so many time did Puck and I drink till we couldn't walk straight anymore. I remembered our first night in L.A , I had bought a bottle of Whisky from a grocery store down the street and when Puck saw it,
- what the hell do you think you are doing ? - I could heard his voice so clear, like he had said it right then and not years ago.
- what does it look like you idiot -
He took the bottle and throw all the Whisky in the sink - we did that enough back in Lima Santana , we are in a new city it's a new beginning and you are going to move on -My life would have been so different without him. It was all too much and the alcohol in my body didn't helped ,I couldn't stop myself from start crying.
- Come here - I felt his hands rubbing my back and I heard him whispering "you're gonna be okay" over and over again,that only made my cry harder, I held him tighter and just cry till I didn't have any tear more left. I don't know how long we were there I just know that at some point I felt asleep.
When I woke up I was in my bed in my pajamas. I hate hangovers, just like everybody else I guess, every single time I feel like shit and I promise myself that I won't drink ever again , but that promise does not last long. I took the two Advil and glass of water from my nightstand that Puck left there .I closed my eyes again but didn't fall asleep I was kind of in between. A while later I looked at my cell phone and it was 21.26 p.m , I couldn't stay in bed anymore and I didn't want to be home alone , being alone would only made my think about everything that was going on, so I just took a shower and ten minutes later I was already in Moon Light. It was a Wednesday night and it wasn't one of the busiest days , I was glad for that. After a few minutes of just sitting at the bar listening to the music I felt someone sitting besides me and I wasn't surprise when I looked up and saw Puck sitting there with a big smile and a glass of water, I took the water and nodded my thanks , I really didn't want to talk , but I knew he didn't care about that , he never does.
- Do you know what will happen to him ?- there he was , that guy really doesn't know what "stay out of mine business" means and I'm truly thankful for that even if I wasn't it that night.
- Of course I know - I let out a big sigh and took another gulp of water I felt much better before I got there ,I knew he wouldn't shut up about it so why did I go there if I didn't want to talk about it ? Maybe because I did wanna talk about it.
- They will send him to a foster house Santana - he said like I didn't knew that - to a foster house, you can't let that happen - I looked around the bar , Sarah the bartender was talking to a guy a few meters from where I was , at the other side was a group of three girls laughing , I'm sure they were underage , a couple at the bar and another one dancing.
- Why should I care ? - I asked him still looking around the place , but what I really wanted to know were reasons to not care. He laughed a little.
-c'mon little sis , we grew up together, I know you, you know you can't put that shit with me - I threw him my best bitch glare at him and he laughed again - and that won't work on me either, you know that- I would never know what I bothered with that , but a girl has to try ,no ?
- I just can't Noah, I can't - I repeated what I had said hours ago. I tried searching for a better argument - I can't change my life just because she wanted me to take care of a kid that isn't mine - that sounded convincing enough , right ? I think it would have if my voice wouldn't have sound like I was pleading
- Bullshit , you can't keep leaving like that Santana,you can't. Yes fucking around without responsibilities is fun and all, but you can't keep doing that forever , we are thirty Santana ,we aren't teenagers anymore , you know one day your pretty face won't be enough-
Thirty ? Fucking asshole - twenty nine - I corrected him - you are thirty,not me - he just rolled his eyes and started talking again.
-You need to settle down, when was the last time you had a relationship ? - I was about to answer him
- a real one - I just took another gulp of water , he was right but at that moment I wasn't ready to admit it - when was the last time you spend a whole night with someone just cuddling ? - I thought back at that blond girl with beautiful blue ayes, but didn't said anything, after all that was an accident and I never saw her again - when was the last time you had a home made dinner , that wasn't with me , Quinn or our parents ? - he kept punching.
- I'm scared ! - I yelled but no one besides him heard me thanks to the loud music - I'm scared okay ? Is that what you wanna hear ? .Scared- he smiled at my and I saw that he was waiting for me to admit it.
- I know you are- he paused - but I know you'll do it great, you are awesome with Beth , she loves you-
That was true - that doesn't count Puck she isn't a kid - I had to lough at his reaction, he looked like I had told him the world was about to end in thirty seconds, completely in shock.
- She is a kid - the last time I heard a voice that high was the last time I saw Kurt Hummel years ago. He cleared his throat a few time before speaking again - that's besides the point anyways - I rolled my eyes and asked Sarah for a beer.
- Thanks - I smiled and she nodded
- Anytime -
I turned and looked back at Puck - of course she loves me , I don't have to be responsible with her ,we stay up the whole night and we eat a lot of fast food, we talk about boys and she knows she doesn't have to follow Quinn's rules or yours - I smirked waiting for his outburst.
- You talk about what ?! - he asked so loud even Sarah heard it a few feets away. She looked worried at us , I nodded and smiled at her and she turned back to the guy she was talking to - she isn't allow to talk about boys , she isn't allow to think about boys till she is at least forty she is..-
- Puck - I tried to get his attention.
-..just thirteen, she's just a kid and..- he just kept rambling.
- Puck - I tried again.
- an-and..-
- Puck! - I yelled to get his attention - just kidding - he looked at me for a few seconds trying to put his macho suit back on before speaking again.
- They did that to us , you can't do it to him - his words brought the night Liza's parents died.
Flashback
The girls were lying in Santana's bed , they have been there for the past four hours , Liza hadn't stop crying in Santana's arms since she heard the news about her parents car accident. - wh-what I-I'm..- she was choking in her own tears and she couldn't form a proper sentence. - Liz honey - Santana was trying to make Liza look at her.
- Honey look at me - Liza looked up from where she was lying on Santana's chest - you're not alone, I'm here and I promise you I won't leave you - Santana said stroking Liz's hair - I promise you - she repeated a few times. - I-I l-lo..-Liza tried to speak again.
- Shh...is okay honey ,I love you too - Santana said and kept stroking her hair till the girl fell asleep in her arms. End flashback
I knew Puck was right, but I just couldn't do it , I couldn't see myself with a kid , I couldn't see myself taking care of anyone or having to be responsible, but I didn't said anything , I was tiered of talking about it , so I just opted for - I damn the day you became so mature -
He laughed and patted my shoulder - you'll thank me later sis -
With that our conversation ended , I said goodbye and went back to my place, to my lonely-small-cheap place. But I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep and that is why I didn't even tried a few hours I had cleaned the place like never before , you could almost see your reflection on the floor. But I wasn't tired enough to sleep and it was 05.14 a.m still too early to do anything. I took a way longer than necessary shower and changed outfit three times , I wasn't nervous or anything I just wanted to look good and suddenly everything seemed just not good enough... who am I kidding ? I was nervous as hell.
I still had time to kill so I decided to write a to do list, I wrote thing like to call my parents, buy groceries, watch that new movie which name I couldn't remember. And when I looked at the time again it was 7.32 a.m . It was the first time in months that I was up early enough to actually have breakfast, not that I had anything besides coffee but still.
Forty minutes later I was in Mr Scofield§ office.
- Miss Lopez, please sit down - he said after shaking my hand. He looked to his computer screen for a few seconds, pressed a few keys on his keyboard and then came the noise of the printer indicating it was working.
He looked back at me after putting the sheets on the table in front of me. - I'll cut to the chase then - he paused for a second - I just need you to sigh here, here and here- He pointed with his fingers on the paper.
When I looked down at the papers in front of me , it felt wrong , all about that situation felt jus wrong and the lump in my throat didn't helped. I remembered how broken Liza was when her parents died, how sad I felt when I was a kid and my dad told me about my "real mother " I felt so bad about myself , it was my fault she had left , it was because I was different , she didn't love me because I am different and she couldn't handle that. It was obvious the boy didn't have anyone else , the only family Liza had besides her parents , was an aunt that she had only seen once when she was eight. He was all alone , and no matter what issues she and I had none of them was his fault. I felt so egoist at that moment , I was going to leave a kid all alone because I was scared of the responsibilities and just then I made up my mind.
- No - I spoke for the first time since I was there.
He just looked confused - excuse me ? -
- I won't do it - I didn't remember the last time I felt so proud of myself.
- You won't sigh ? - when I nodded he spoke again - Miss Lopez if you don't sigh yo..-
I didn't let him finish I wasn't stupid , I knew what I was doing - I know that - I paused for a second before I smiled and spoke again - when can I meet him ? -
Maikel Scofield§ looked at me for a minute or two.
- Are you completely sure Miss ? is about a child we are talking here and that is a lot of responsibility-
He smiled when I nodded - I am - it was a simple answer but full of power , just like I felt at that moment, completely sure without room for doubts.
to be continued ...