Author's Note: Hello everyone! This is where the story actually enters FSN territory. Last chaper was about to people that isn't from the Nasu-verse at all, a digital cookie to the one that can figure out who they were! Canon story will be respected to a certain degree. When I feel like it. Slightly unstable Fourth Wall in this story, so get used to it~

Achievements and Nobles

Illyasviel von Einsbern was not in what you would call a good mood. In fact, it was downright foul. And then again, who could blame her? The Fifth Heaven's Feel, the Fifth Holy Grail War was two entire months away (give or take a week or two) and still that jerk who called himself Family Head wanted her to summon her Servant already. She could be reading a book right now! A book she statistically already had read ten or twenty times already, but still! She could be playing chess with a family maid about now! She'd probably win AGAIN and chess quickly turned dull when you always won because none in the von Einsbern Family wanted to waste energy and materials on making a homunculus specialized in chess, but still! She could be playing piano or violin right now! Sure, she'd tear the eardrums of anyone in a full mile radius to shreds since she couldn't play instruments even if her life depended on it, but still! A lot of things, nay, everything was better than summoning a Servant! And worse still, the old geezer who had her do it wasn't even here yet!

Jubstacheit von Einsbern, the over two hundred year old family head was a complex being. Well not so much a "being" as a "person". He wasn't really complex either. Someone once told him that his entire existence could be boiled down to the phrase "Achievement". Sure, said someone didn't live to see the sunset, but he was right none the less. Jubstak- no Jubstachi- no Jubstar…F-k it, let's call him Jubby. Jubby von Einsbern never did anything unless he could get a sense of achievement out of whatever it was he had done or would do. This was, after all, the only reason he wanted the von Einsbern family to win the Holy Grail War. 'Cause what greater achievement is there then being able to say something along the lines of: "I have led my family to victory in a war involving Seven lethal Magi and Seven great Legends of History competing for a manmade artifact named after an unwashed cup!" ? Jubby couldn't think of one, at least not until one of the rare visitors that wasn't from an age-old Mage Family told him about video-games and how many of them now included an Achievement System. Faster than one could say Uncontrollable Obsession Jubby had gotten the Castle electric power, Internet, computers and a guy to explain to the unnumbered amount of mages with little to no previous technological experience how all the new stuff worked. After Jubby got the hang of it, he barely left his room. He had, however, become known on the Internet as the best Achievement-gainer there is.

Now back to Illyasviel. 'Cause our story totally didn't run wild in the wrong direction. And the author clearly didn't lose track of his train of thoughts. So let's carry on. This is not a suspiciously specific denial. Back to Illyasviel.

As earlier stated, Illyasviel didn't really want this, but she had nothing to say about it, so she didn't bother to complain at the moment. After all, with any luck she could enforce her will ever so slightly if she played her cards right. The servant she was expected to Summon was the best known Hero of Ancient Greece, Heracles. 'Cause calling him Hercules was for pussies and Romans. She was also expected to summon him as a Berserker. Never mind that it'd rob him of nearly all his Noble Phantasms which could cause a near game-breaker. After all, Berserkers were over-all stronger than most classes, so fuck Game-breaking. Has it been said that Illyasviel was in a bad mood? She was, because unlike the rest of her family, she was nearly normal. Nearly.

After the Family Head finally had dragged himself away from his games and bothered to attend, Illyasviel von Einsbern started her Summoning. The circle was made, the slab of stone that vaguely resembled a sword-axe-like thing was at the centre to act as a catalyst. Now all she had to do was perform the chant. Which will not be written here, because it is a pain. Illyasviel managed to pull it off vocally very well though. Somehow.

The Circle at the centre of the room lit up, the massive dark hall was in an instant drenched in Light (which revealed that it was in desperate need of a thorough cleaning) and small arcs of lightning and tiny flames littered the room. Then, it all went crazy. The entire castle shook like it was hit by an extremely local earthquake. The very fabric of reality warped and folded, as the slab at the centre of the circle vanished in a crack in the very fabric of reality (and was dropped through the roof of a small farmhouse in Australia. It would become repurposed as a dinner table later on.) and was replaced with a massive bloodied blade. It all occurred during a brief moment, then the summoning was complete, just like that.

What the self-important people of the von Einsbern family had EXPECTED was a seven-or-so feet tall giant of a man with unreal muscle, long tangled black hair and bronze skin. What they got was a woman. Only there it was obvious something was totally off. She was of average length, not too short and not too tall. She had fair skin and beautiful eyes. Her outfit however, revealed that she was from a person from the part indeed. She wore a massive dress with many elaborate ornaments and her hair was made equally elaborate with a slightly silly hat to complete the set. She did, however, have an air of nobility, the one thing that didn't stand out. In fact, her presence was even more noble-y then the gathered nobles together.

Her shining eyes was fixed at Illyasviel von Einsbern as she asked the words all the gathered idiotic, foolish, self-important- I mean gathered highly respected noble-mages had waited to hear: "I ask you this: Are you my Master?" Illyasviel von Einsbern was now in a slightly less vile mood.

Omake:

Catasros: Hi all!This is an omake-section, in case the title didn't explain that! The next few chapters WILL have this. Why? 'Cause here I will talk with the Servant from the canon story wich failed to appear in my story. So this time, the first one, I will waste your time with Heracles! Hi Heracles, how do you do?!

Heracles: Hello crazy little author. I'm very fine, thank you very much.

Catasros: . . . Heeeey...how come you talk?

Heracles: Why, it is because I no longer am under the effect of Mad Enhancement of course. What, did you thing I always went around screaming like a lunatic? Besides, Greece is well-known for democracy and Philosophy, being well-spoken is in my blood!

Catasros: I...see...Either way, what would you say about your replacement?

Heracles: As long as she protects Illya, I am content.

Catasros: Not wiining the war?

Heracles: No, because since Illya isn't even accounted in the character-names in the story description, so she has lost from the very start.

Catasros: ...Damn, you're too smart. Better end this before you have the entire plot figured out.

Heracles: I'm pretty sure the isn't a proper plot yet.

Catasros: Ok, I'm cutting it off here. Thank you for coming Heracles, and thank you Ladies, Gentlemen and Others for taking time to read this, I hope you'll still be around next time!

Heracles: Hopefully it will be better then the somewhat unusual author makes it seem.