WHITE OUT

I will not carry a gun... I'll carry your books, I'll carry a torch, I'll carry a tune, I'll carry on, carry over, carry forward, Cary Grant, cash and carry, carry me back to Old Virginia, I'll even hari-kari if you show me how, but I will not carry a gun! ~Hawkeye, M*A*S*H, "Officer of the Day"

These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.

AN: Thanks to those who took the time to review for me, it always means a lot to hear back and see if I am on track with my thoughts. As a writer, knowing that someone is out there makes all the difference in the next chapter :)

CHAPTER 2

"I told him it was none of his business!" The teen boy ranted. He was about 16, young and obviously very angry. He stood there donning a shredded shirt and for some odd reason only wore one shoe.

John Gage, paramedic, held out his hands. "Look now, we're not saying who's right or wrong here. We just need you to put down the bat and let us check him out." He wanted to roll his eyes. He wanted to throttle the kid. Neither of which were possible. Would nothing go right today?

"He wouldn't stop talking about her. I couldn't get him to stop." The boy started to stammer. "I wasn't trying to hurt him. I just wanted him to shut up about it."

They both heard the hesitation in his voice.

Roy knew this was the time to act. "We know you didn't mean it. That's what we're here for, to help out." He took easy steps forward, his hands palms up and slightly extended. He glanced down at the victim who was lying between the medics and the outraged teen. Even just a visual assessment told him they didn't have time to waste here.

Glances to the street by Johnny hoped for police back up quickly, but for right this moment it was just them. "Yea, man. We just want to check on him," Johnny said in a casual tone. His racing brain was anything but casual, but there was no reason to let the kid know that. He could see his stance relax just a fraction and the bat lower just a hair, followed by a fleeting expression of confusion across the young man's face.

Johnny caught movement in his peripheral vision and quicker than he could gather the thought of 'no', he realized that Roy was moving. The impact sent the teen down hard with the bat flying out of his hand and out of reach. Roy grunting with the impact knowing his shoulder had hit something hard and didn't appreciate it. Prepared to fight and hold him down Roy was surprised when the kid simply rolled over and gave up.

His anger was now spent and exhausted out. Roy's quick evaluation surmised that the boy was unhurt and after getting them both to their feet he turned the now stoic youth over to the approaching police. Johnny was already at the other boy's side doing an initial exam. Quickly beside his partner, Roy looked up with a glance of assurance that he was also fine, feeling Johnny's stare.

Mutual worries put aside, they fell into their routine.

"Pupils unequal and sluggish, Roy. He has a large area of swelling and bruising at the base of his skull and there's clear fluid in both ears." He grimaced, "There's also moving bone. Pulse is 50, respirations 10 and aginal, blood pressure is 60/30. He is unresponsive to pain and reflexes are absent."

This kind of call saddened Roy. It was so senseless and such a waste of a young life. They would go through the motions, but he knew that the boy was already gone. His skull had been shattered by a bat wielded in anger and an impulse that could have been avoided. As he relayed the information to Rampart Joe Early's voice confirmed the prognosis.

51, IV D5LR, immobilize neck and spine, transport as quickly as possible.

"10-4 Rampart, IV, we are immobilized and ambulance is on the scene. ETA 11 minutes."

The men moved quickly and efficiently knowing that time was short. Every second was precious to this young man if he had any chance at all. Roy loaded up the boxes while Johnny rode into Rampart with the victim. It didn't take words between them for the medics to convey feelings, concerns, and resolute knowledge. He knew just as well as Roy what the outcome of this call would be. It wouldn't be the first loss and definitely not the last for the team. Going through the motions was part of the job until you were absolutely sure those motions were no longer necessary. And often, even beyond that.

Knowing they had done all that was possible during their short time with the young man they completed their portion of the death paperwork, gathered replacement supplies and headed back to the station. Both were quiet and at a point of inner reflection for the time being. The words would come later when they were ready. After this many years of friendship and working together they would know when it was time.

It had been a week of work like no other. Most things you can just shrug off to the job, knowing the next shift has better prospects, however, some things you can't. Certain runs get under your skin and become hard to shake. Roy watched Johnny from across the table, knowing it was all bothering him and that the time to talk about it had come.

"Hey, Junior."

Johnny looked up.

"I think we better make a run to Rampart to restock."

Johnny just nodded, "Okay." He knew what his partner was doing. It was the art of distraction and Roy was very good at it.

In the truck was a good time for Roy to get Johnny to talk about anything that bothered him. This was his chance. "You doing okay?" He asked casually.

Johnny shrugged his shoulders and ran his fingers through his dark wavy hair. "Yea, I guess so. I mean, I know it's just part of the job and that not every rescue has a happy ending."

Roy nodded, "Yea, but that doesn't always make it easier."

Johnny wrinkled his forehead. "Sometimes it's just frustrating to deal with the lack of, of ...well I don't know what. I mean, what happened to caring about your fellow man in the world?"

The week had seen a lot of violence. A random careless injury would be a nice change of pace and was exactly what they needed about now. Roy knew Johnny's heart was not easily numb to the rising criminal element of the big city. It may be another side of the job, but not the best side of it. Being able to vent to each other, the frustrations and stressors, helped them to remember they weren't alone in the feeling.

SQUAD 51, GUN SHOT VICTIM, 415 EASTMONT AVENUE. APARTMENT 21. POLICE ARE RESPONDING. TIME OUT 8:48.

They both took a deep breath and turned towards the next job. Each call had to be approached with maximum optimism, anything less would burn a medic out quicker than a firecracker fuse. By the time they arrived at the scene there were already several police cars in the parking lot and a crowd gathering.

Jumping out of their seats they quickly grabbed boxes and the oxygen tank. After a quick here we go glance to each other they headed up the worn and rusty metal stairs. The outside corridor was thick with on looking neighbors and police working to get control of the scene. As they approached the open door, where most had gathered, Roy was almost knocked over the railing by a large male. Johnny instinctively reached out to grab his arm and keep him from going over completely. Quickly regaining his footing on solid ground he realized the man that about ran him over was in handcuffs. His next glance was to Johnny in silent thanks for saving his skin, again.

"Get off me pig!" the man yelled. His voice was deep and raging with anger. "She deserved what she got!"

She?

Just the word sent chills down Johnny's spine and it quickened his partners pace. He was right on Roy's heels as they moved into the room, pushing past more officers that seemed to now be coming out of the woodwork.

"Over here Roy," Vince's voice called through the chaos.

Each man moved to one of her sides and began their instant assessments. It was years of experience that allowed the team to work undistracted by the commotion that surrounded them. Johnny was grateful to see that her eyes were open, being conscious was reassuring for the moment. He also understood the unspoken panic she conveyed as he watched her eyes dart all around the room.

"Miss, we're with the Fire Department. We're here to help you," Roy's calm voice caught her attention and she focused on him. "I need you to try and relax, okay?" His soft smile and gentle eyes soothed her into relaxing a bit as Johnny worked on gathering vital signs.

When he put the blood pressure cuff on he felt her flinch under his touch. "Easy there, we're here to help you. It's okay." Her eyes were wary and far from a state of full trust, but she was at least listening to them.

Vince knelt down next to Johnny with the gun to show him. "45 and close range."

He shot Vince a look, "thanks Vince, now can you get rid of that thing, you're making me nervous here."

Roy opened up the Viacom. "Rampart, this is squad 51, do you read?"

Kelly Brackett's voice came across. Go ahead 51.

"Rampart, we have a female, approximately 20 years old with multiple gunshot wounds. There are 2 in the upper right chest, just below the clavicle, 2 in right quadrant abdomen. She also has multiple bruises and lacerations over her face and arms. Blood pressure is 90/60, HR 130, Respirations are 26 and labored. Rampart she is conscious and in respiratory distress. Breath sounds are diminished on the right side. We have pressure applied to the wounds."

51, begin oxygen, start IV of lactated ringers, wide open and continue to monitor vital signs closely. Transport as soon as possible.

"10-4 Rampart, oxygen and IV LR. Ambulance is pulling up now."

Johnny was already getting her IV started as Roy placed the oxygen mask on her face. As Roy got the fluids ready Johnny repeated her vital signs and checked her pupils. He was growing concerned about her increasing drowsy state of consciousness.

"Why?" She whispered as she looked into his eye.

He had to lean in closer to hear her. "What did you say?"

A single tear ran down her face, "Why?"

Johnny felt a shaking sadness for her and that he had no answers to give. This week had brought the same question to his mind over and over. Why did things like this have to happen? Was he losing faith in his fellow man's ability to show compassion and faith? Before he could answer she drifted off.

"Roy, her pressure is down to 50 palpable, HR 140. She's still bleeding from the sites."

Roy knew what it meant. Her ability to clot was compromised and she was bleeding to death right before their eyes. "Rampart, this is 51. We have a new set of vital signs."

Go ahead 51.

"Rampart, our victim continues to bleed from the sites despite pressure applied. HR is now 140, BP 50 palpable. She is now unconscious and unresponsive."

51 begin a second IV, LR wide open. Place esophageal airway if needed. When can you transport?

"Second IV of LR and ambulance is now on scene."

10-4 51.

They left the trauma room exhausted, mentally and physically. Brackett had run the code for over an hour. Johnny knew they had done all they could though it didn't make the loss any easier. It never did.

"You guys did a good job Johnny. I hope you know that." Brackett said as he approached the desk.

He leaned back on the counter beside Dixie. "Thanks doc. It's just senseless that it happened to begin with." Johnny said through frustration.

"Did you ever find out what the fight was about?" He asked the medics.

Roy shook his head reflecting his frustration. "Something about her wanting to move out and he wanted her to stay."

Dixie was appalled. "So he tried to convince her to stay by shooting her? That's just crazy."

Johnny tapped the HT against his hand. "Yep, crazy is exactly what it is."

The ride back to the station was quiet and Roy let him mull things over in his mind for a bit. As they pulled into the station Roy turned to his friend and partner.

"Quite a week huh?"

Johnny sat motionless for a moment, his thoughts heading in a new direction. A direction they needed to take or continue to linger and allow the negative to consume him. He opened his door and climbed out of the squad, leaning in on the window to see Roy. "Yea," he paused. "Yea, it has been but you know what?"

Roy was afraid to ask. "What?"

"I just figured out the perfect plan for my days off." Johnny was grinning ear to ear now.

Roy climbed out of the cab and leaned on the hood of the truck. "And exactly what might those plans be?"

Johnny rubbed his hands together. Just the thought of escaping the reality of work for a few days was getting more enticing by the minute. "Well, a friend of mine has a cabin in the mountains. He's been trying to get me to come back out for a while now. You see I help him with some minor repair work and I get free room and board. I think I might just take him up on it." Then a look of revelation came across his face. "Roy, you should come with me. Fishing, relaxing, hiking….." He said in a luring manner to his friend.

"Well, that sounds like a great idea, but the kids have me booked up for the entire week I'm off. Between baseball games with Chris and a dance recital for Jenny, I see no fishing in my future." He tried to sound woeful, but Johnny knew him better than that. It was clear that Roy loved every minute he had with his kids.

"Okay, fine. You get out of it this time." He turned on his heels and waved a finger at his partner, "this time."

With a renewed bounce in his step, Roy knew Johnny would be fine.

Besides, a vacation would do him good.