Chapter 2-Clothes Make The Shinobi?

==Fifteen Minutes Later==

Kakashi led his team into a clothing store and armory, one of the odd sort of shops that could really only be found in a hidden ninja village. The shopkeeper's smile lit up at seeing the famed Copy-Nin (one of his best customers) come in, and then the cheerful expression immediately darkened as he noticed who was behind him. Ken had never chased Naruto, but he had never liked his daughter Tenten hanging out with him either. Kakashi noticed the look, "Ken, these are my students, Sakura, Naruto and Sasuke. I'm here to get them some new clothes and equipment so that they won't get themselves and me killed on missions."

Ken swallowed whatever distaste he felt for Naruto and smiled, "Alright then, what do they need?" "First and foremost I want some armor for these little knuckleheads. Light armor for Sasuke because he doesn't need the extra armor, and Sakura also needs light armor because she probably can't handle the extra weight. Naruto needs heavy armor because he's in the bad habit of charging in recklessly and if he doesn't have some armor for that he's going to get himself killed."

Ken nodded, "Right this way then." He led them off to the left into the armor section and turned to them once he got to a pile of bins, "Now then, you said Naruto likes to charge in recklessly?" Kakashi nodded, "He can use Shadow Clones to slightly mitigate the recklessness of that, but he's still nowhere near good enough at taijutsu to be an in-close fighter." Ken nodded, "Alright then."

He turned to the bins and pulled out a pair of sturdy looking leather fingerless gloves with armored backs that were made to go all the way to the elbow. He extended them to Naruto without looking over his shoulder as he moved to the next bin, "ANBU quality armor gloves. If you manage to hurt your forearm with those on then there's not enough armor in the world to help you, and the armored knuckles should make your strikes rather more effective. If he picks up sealing jutsu Kakashi then he can give them various personalized upgrades, but be sure you help him since the armor is probably better than any seal upgrade, and if he carves too deeply into the metal then he could compromise the safety it provides."

Then he pulled out a basic gray flak jacket and turned, easily plonking it over Naruto's head and onto his shoulders, "It's a little big but you'll grow into it. If you ever make Chunin you'll get a better one like the one Kakashi's wearing." Then he went over to a wall of shelves and started surveying boxes, "Hey Naruto, what's your foot size?" Naruto flushed, "I don't know. I haven't had a new pair of shoes in years. When these got too small for my feet I just cut the toes off." Ken looked over his shoulder in slight confusion and then covered it with a smile, "Not to worry, we'll find it. Lemme see your foot." Naruto picked up his foot and Ken knelt down and laid his hand along the bottom of the foot, "Uh huh, looks like a 9." He got back up and pulled a box off the shelf, "Here we go. Try these on."

Naruto opened the box and pulled out two extremely sturdy looking calf-height boots with armor over the shins that when he pulled them on went up to his knees. Ken nodded, "How do they fit?" Naruto wiggled his toes and nodded, "Pretty good." Ken nodded, "Well go walk around in them to make sure. We've got plenty so make sure they fit." Naruto took off for a stroll around the store and Ken looked at Kakashi, "Are you paying for him?" Kakashi nodded, "Naruto's been wearing that same jumpsuit for years because it's all he's got. The kid needs some new clothes that won't get him ridiculed and mobbed."

Ken flinched and nodded as Naruto came jogging back up, "Alright." "These boots are great!" Naruto exclaimed. Ken nodded, "They're also water proof and steel-toed, so your socks won't get wet when you walk in the rain and most people won't be able to stomp and break your feet." "Awesome!" Naruto exclaimed. Ken nodded and turned to the other two, "Now then I believe you said these two needed light armor?" Kakashi nodded and Ken turned back to the bins, "Lets see," a moment later he walked down to a different bin and pulled out some thick black gloves. They were similar to Naruto's, but they didn't have the obvious armor on the backs, "See how these fit you."

Sakura and Sasuke pulled on the gloves and were surprised to feel something firm in fabric lining. "Chainmail," Ken explained, "It's a lot lighter than Naruto's, and it's not as good for protecting your bones, but it's still good enough to stop a kunai. Senbon might get through, if they're thrown hard enough, but that's seal toughened leather, so they probably won't go on through." Then he walked over to a number of clothing racks with shirts and shorts, "And then you should pick out some standard armor mesh underclothes. I trust you know your sizes and can find them if you can't?"

Sakura and Sasuke nodded and started looking. Kakashi looked at Naruto, "You should get some too." After Naruto was gone among the racks, Ken looked over at Kakashi, "So, he finally passed huh?" Kakashi looked at him in confusion, "Hmm?" "Naruto. He's failed the Academy Graduation Exam twice. He's actually two years older than those other two." Kakashi's visible eyebrow rose in surprise, "Really?" He turned back to watch his students looking for the right size armor mesh, "He's so small I wouldn't have guessed." Guess I need to address his diet too…with that much malnutrition it's a wonder he's lived this long…

A few moments later the three were back with armor mesh shirts and pants. Sasuke and Naruto had shorts and Sakura had leggings. Ken nodded, "The armor mesh won't turn a strong kunai, but it will slow it down enough that unless it's a Jonin's kunai it probably won't kill you, and no genin should be able to get through it. That should about cover armor," Ken gestured for them to follow, "And over here are weapons. Kakashi?"

Kakashi eyed the numerous tables of weapons, "For now just a few packs of standard kunai and shuriken. I just got this team yesterday and quite frankly I've got my work cut out for me, so I'm not sure what their specialties will be yet." Ken nodded and directed him to the appropriate packs. Kakashi sent the team over, "Get what you need, but don't go overboard." Sasuke and Sakura grabbed one pack each, Naruto grabbed three. Kakashi nodded, fair enough, Naruto might very well not have any.

Ken nodded, "Alright then. That should about cover everything in the armory. You said you wanted to get them some new clothes as well?" Kakashi nodded, "Yes. Naruto in particular needs an entire new wardrobe. I'll be docking his pay a little bit for a while to make sure I get paid back, but he'd rather I dock his pay a little than be dead because his enemies could spot him a mile away. I'm sure he'd pay me back, but he's forgetful and I prefer to play it safe." Naruto opened his mouth to protest and the protest died in his throat as he realized Kakashi had a point. "Fine," He grumbled.

Suddenly a voice called from the door, "Daaad! I'm home!" Ken's face split in a smile, "If you'll excuse me for a mo-where'd he go?" Tenten was almost knocked out the door as Naruto tackled her in a hug, "TENTEN!" Tenten took a second to realize who was hugging her and then she smiled, "Naruto! What are you doing here?" Naruto stepped back with a bright smile and Tenten saw his forehead protector. She gasped delightedly, "You passed!" She laughed and hugged Naruto, "I can't believe it! You finally made it! Hang on a second," She leaned out the door, "Lee! Come here!"

A moment later Rock Lee was at the door and it only took him a moment to realize why Tenten had called him and he exclaimed exuberantly, "Naruto you passed!" Naruto was grinning from ear to ear as Kakashi Sakura and Sasuke walked back out of the armory and into the small open area in the middle. Kakashi saw Lee and immediately became very pale behind his mask as he knew this had to be Guy's apprentice. Lee and Tenten unfortunately recognized Kakashi immediate and Lee poked his head outside, "GUY SENSEI! KAKASHI HAS A GENIN TEAM!" What little paler Kakashi could get, he did.

A moment later the door was filled with the green form of Might Guy booming, "STUPENDOUS! NOW MY ETERNAL RIVAL WE CAN COMPETE TO SEE WHO IS THE BETTER JONIN SENSEI! SQUAD NINE, PREPARE FOR-" Kakashi cut him off, "Whoa now Guy! I've only had them for a day, a spar now would be completely unreflective of my teaching so there's no point in that yet!" Guy deflated and shot Kakashi a sour look, "I was going to say training." Kakashi nodded, "Uh-huh, sure you were."

Guy's expression was sour for a moment more, then he recovered his smile, "Alright! Kakashi introduce us to your team!" Kakashi sighed and pointed at Sasuke, "Sasuke Uchiha," the finger went to Sakura, "Sakura Haruno," Lee's eyes didn't move on from Sakura as Kakashi pointed to Naruto, "and Naruto Uzumaki." Guy grinned brightly, "Excellent! And these are my youthful students! My apprentice Rock Lee, our weapons mistress Tenten, and…" He disappeared for a moment and reappeared shoving a boy with long brown hair through the door, "our resident master of gloom, doom, stern expressions and grim broodiness, Neji Hyuga!" Neji narrowly managed to avoid not falling on his face and shot a glare over his shoulder at Guy.

He turned back to the others and bowed, "Neji Hyuga, nice to meet you." Naruto grinned, "Wow Neji, you've got even more stiff and sour than the last time I saw you!" Neji stiffened slightly and shot him a sour look, "I prefer to think of myself as sane enough to balance Lee and our Sensei out. I think fate's got it in for me." Naruto joined the rest of Squad 9 in a sigh, "You're still on about all that fate and destiny crap?" Naruto asked. "If anything he's gotten worse with high exposures to Lee and Guy-sensei," Tenten declared. Naruto looked horrified, then an idea crossed his mind and he grinned at Neji in such an evil way that Neji actually got uncomfortable, "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

Naruto looked at Kakashi, "Kakashi sensei, can we have a cross team therapy session to deal with Neji's personal issues? He's as bad as Sasuke was yesterday." Kakashi raised an eyebrow and took in the twitching eyebrow and subtle signs of discomfort and irritation all over Neji's face, then he looked at Guy, "Well Guy? Want to have a cross team sharing session? It took these three from totally hopeless to actually having a not quite halfway decent chance of success as shinobi." Guy pondered it for a moment and then that massive smile split his face again, "Why not? If it helped your team so greatly then I can only imagine what it will do for my youthful students! When would you like to meet?"

Kakashi thought about it, "Mmm…How does the day after tomorrow sound? Let's say bright and early at 8 am?" Guy laughed, "You call that bright and early? Sure we'll swing by after our morning warm up! Where do you want to meet?" "Training ground 28," Kakashi replied, "And Guy, bring tissues because you're probably going to need them. I know how emotional you get." Guy raised an eyebrow, "That must be quite a therapy session! We shall be sure to attend!"

Neji looked rather mortified, "Tenten, help?" Tenten wrapped an arm around his shoulders, "Now Neji, it can't be that bad. Look it's therapy, and it probably won't hurt you. It might even be good for you. Don't worry I'll be there too." Neji appeared to take some small solace in that and looked at Kakashi, "Can I bring a friend?" Kakashi sighed, "Sure. The more the merrier, just please don't bring the entire Hyuga Clan." Neji thought about it for a moment and then shook his head, "No, I'll just bring my cousin. I don't think the entire clan would be helpful, and really my cousin needs the help more than I do." Kakashi nodded, "Alright then."

"Well then we'll see you the day after tomorrow," Kakashi said with a smile behind his mask, "Now then, Squad 7 let's continue with our gathering of appropriate shinobi gear. Wardrobes are up next, come on," he somehow managed to catch all three of his students in one swing of his arm and hauled them off towards the wardrobe section. To his chagrin Team Guy followed curiously.

Kakashi set his team down and settled for leading them. He paused when he got to the changing rooms in the back, "Ok then, spread out and find some clothes that you like, then bring them back here and I'll approve them." "Can we help?" Tenten asked brightly. Kakashi resisted the urge to sigh, "Sure." Tenten immediately dragged Sakura off towards the ladies' section and Sasuke and Naruto found themselves being dragged along behind Guy and Lee. That left Kakashi and Neji to swap a glance and settle in for a long uncomfortable silence.

Sasuke and Naruto found themselves immediately being given a sales pitch on the virtues of very tight green jumpsuits. Naruto actually surprised everybody who could hear him by being the one to voice opposition to the jumpsuits. "Um thanks guys, but, there's a lot of bad memories between me and this jumpsuit," he said quietly, "I'd rather not trade it in for a fresh one." Sasuke and Lee both did double takes. Lee in particular was dumbfounded, could this really be the same Naruto who had always been so proud and defensive of his bright orange jumpsuit?!

The significance of the statement was totally lost on Guy though who immediately nodded, "Alright then, we shall find you something more appropriate. What is your fighting style?" "He doesn't have one," Sasuke replied, "He just charges in swinging and hopes for the best. I also would not like a jumpsuit. I prefer loose clothes that I can hide things in." Guy and Lee nodded and selections were quickly made.

As they returned to the changing rooms they saw that Tenten and Sakura had beaten them back. Just as they started to ask what Sakura had gotten, Sakura stepped out of the changing room with the gloves and armor mesh leggings she had picked out in the Armory section on under a long sleeved black dress with a high collar that hugged her form above the waist and then split just below the hip into four sections that tapered off to points. "So? How do I look?" she asked with the cutest expression she could muster. "You look awesome Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed. Lee was too blown away to say anything, and Sasuke and Neji seemed to be competing to see who could maintain their composure better. Kakashi nodded and Guy gave her a booming approval and commended Tenten on helping Sakura find such a good fit.

"And this particular dress comes with some special features," Tenten declared happily, "I didn't tell you earlier because I didn't want you to have a biased opinion Sakura, but in addition to storage seals stitched onto the outside for you to store weapons and supplies in, there's a seal stitched into the back of that dress that runs down to the lower half. If you run a little chakra into it, you can harden the skirt into blades that'll fly up and slice anything around you when you twirl! It's not nearly as good as being awesome with a sword, but it's great if you need to surprise somebody." Kakashi nodded, "Very good to know." Then he turned to Naruto, "Naruto, you're up."

Naruto nodded and hurried into the changing room. A few moments later Naruto stepped back out and was met with stares. Naruto was now wearing a heavy charcoal gray karate gi top with a hood over his armor mesh undershirt, matching pants, and the armor Ken had picked out for him. He also had a mask in his hand, "I'm not too sure about this mask. It's almost like wearing a second skin except it feels like it's holding my mouth shut." "That's a good thing," Sasuke quipped, "Didn't sensei tell you earlier that shinobi are supposed to be quiet? If the mask helps you with that then I'd say it's a good thing."

Naruto opened his mouth to make a biting retort and then Kakashi stepped in, "More to the point Naruto, these masks are made to filter the air you breathe so that you're harder to catch with gas weapons and they have seals so that you can breathe underwater with them. Also, have you ever had a bee fly into your mouth while you're running? It's not fun, and with a mask on, you don't have to worry about it." Guy's head snapped around to look at him, "Is that why you never take that mask off?! A bee flew into your mouth?!"

Kakashi looked at Guy and said with an apparently completely straight face, "No. I wear it for the filters and to make people wonder about it." Guy's eyes immediately bugged out as he tried to count how many countless hours he had spent wondering why Kakashi wore a mask. A few moments later with a twitching eye he declared, "Oh that is just evil…" Kakashi grinned behind his mask, "Yep. It won't work for Naruto though since everyone already knows what he looks like."

"Aw…" Naruto pouted from behind his mask. "Nah, leave it on Naruto, you look better this way," Sasuke declared with a grin. Naruto turned a glare on him, "I'll hug you again." Sasuke immediately paled and quieted down. Sakura giggled at his expression and Team Guy looked from Sasuke to Naruto and back again several times as Naruto pulled the mask off, "Anyway, it's your turn now." Sasuke quickly gathered his clothes and brushed past Naruto on his way into the changing room.

Lee looked at Naruto as Naruto sat down, "I do not understand, why is a hug a suitable thing to threaten Sasuke with?" Naruto grinned, "Oh yeah you haven't seen it yet!" Sakura shot Naruto a look, but before she could say anything, "Sexy Jutsu!" Naruto leaned out of the smoke in his female form, "Hi Lee." It took Lee a second to realize Naruto was naked in his female form, but as he was covering his eyes looking away and exclaiming, "Naruto! What happened to your clothes?! And why do you look like that?!" Neji was trying to pick his jaw up from the floor.

Tenten and Guy were equally shocked and Sakura laid a hand on Naruto's shoulder. She was turning red and clearly trying very hard not to shriek at him as loud as she could, "Naruto, please don't do that. It's demeaning to women and makes me really, REALLY want to hit you." Naruto immediately released the transformation and sat bolt upright in surprise, "What?! I didn't mean it like that! I'm so sorry I didn't know!" Sakura smiled slightly, still clearly very annoyed, "Well please don't do it anymore ok?" Naruto shook his head, "Of course not! I didn't realize it was mean to women, I just thought it was a funny surprise tactic!" "Oh it is," Tenten declared.

Everyone looked over at her, and the jaws immediately hit the floor again as Tenten winked at Lee and Neji from inside her own cloud of smoke and no clothes, "Isn't that right guys?" Lee and Neji both immediately fell off the bench backwards with blood streaming from their noses as Tenten howled with laughter and released the transformation.

Sasuke stepped out of the changing room in what looked like a black version of the same clothes Naruto was wearing except with less armor, billowy sleeves and an open chest revealing the armor mesh undershirt beneath, "What's so funny?" Then he saw Neji and Lee and realized what must have happened. Sasuke looked at Naruto, "If you're going to use it so often, why not just stay in that form for longer stretches? The mask might not work for you like it does Kakashi sensei," then he smirked, "But imagine how crazy it'll drive everyone if they're constantly wondering if you're really a guy or a girl."

A look of realization dawned on Naruto and with a flash of a wicked grin he was a girl again, her armor now tightly fitted and very sexy as the smoke cleared. Naruto sat back and winked at Lee, "So, how do I look?" Most present were staring at her trying to figure out what had just happened, Sasuke was smiling smugly to himself, and Guy was looking at Kakashi, "How the hell did you infect them with your, your, you-ness so quickly?!" Kakashi smiled, "Oh, just a little shooting straight." Internally Kakashi was sighing at the look on Sasuke's face and Naruto's easy acceptance of becoming a girl more often at Sasuke's request, mutual belligerent sexual tension: CONFIRMED.

AN: Sooo as you might have guessed, things are going to be getting quite AU quite quickly. Yes Naruto was in the same class as Team Guy for a year as it was canonically stated that he had flunked the graduation exam two or three years, meaning he had been held back a few years, and therefore should actually be the oldest of the Konoha 12, which he now is.

Other changes include but are by no means limited to:

= Drastic and lasting impacts for those involved in these little therapy sessions as well as those they come into contact with

= A definitely female Nine Tails who is snarky, fun and friendly to her Jinchuriki as a result of sharing in their memories and lives in full

= Different mechanics of the Sharingan

= Naruto's seal working rather differently

= Tsunade's strength being a form of chakra enabled telekinesis

= New Akatsuki Members and Plans (No Tobito or Ten Tails or Kaguya or Big-bad Madara)

= New Villains