Chapter Two

Severus

Severus frowned as he read over the same sentence for the fourth time. In theory the practice made sense, but would it not be counterintuitive to gain weaker results? Why would a person use puffer-fish eyes in the swelling solution? Wouldn't the gull of a bull frog produce a stronger effect? Inferior ingredients created inferior potions. He grabbed his quill and scribbled a note in the margin of his book.

Continuing to the next set of instructions, Severus leaned so closely over the text that his nose nearly skimmed the page. He scrutinized the passage and allowed it to devour his complete attention. He enjoyed moments like these immensely. Severus had a sophisticated appreciation for the delicate complexity of potion making.

"Sev?"

The boy jumped, and his nose really did hit the page. Grumbling disparaging things about himself under his breath, Severus looked up and felt even more foolish. His sallow cheeks burned with embarrassment as he eyed his intruder's auburn hair, green eyes, and Gryffindor tie. "Lily," he breathed. He knew he should have brushed back his hair – he had forgotten to take a shower that morning – or cover the large ink stain on his white uniform shirt, but he was momentarily distracted by her.

She smiled at him and helped herself to the chair opposite of him at the table, tucked away in the corner of the library where he was seated. Her familiar yellow schoolbag made a large thud as she plopped it down onto the table, disrupting his carefully laid out piles of notes. "Hello, Sev. What are you doing here? I've been looking for you for ages. I thought we were supposed to meet by the owlery after dinner."

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes – as if he would forget a meeting with her. Scrambling for something to do under the gaze that could read him so well, Severus pulled at the sleeves to his school robes; they were too short because he had grown from the year before but had not been able to afford new robes. He had asked his mother, who had seemed like she might have bought him a new pair – he had grown nearly three inches in the past few months alone – if his father had not intervened. Self-consciously, he shoved his wrists under the table. "I was just coming to meet you."

Lily frowned. "But dinner is almost over."

"What? No. I thought I had only arrived a little while ago. I haven't been here that long, have I?"

He looked around for a clock and saw Lily nodding out of his periphery.

"It's almost eight. Mary and I ate ages ago."

Severus resisted the urge to huff at the name. He wished Lily did not spend so much of her time with Mary McDonald. It limited his time with her, which always seemed too short as it was. Though, he dared not risk being seen with Lily too frequently. He wanted to avoid trouble, not invite it.

"What are you doing alone on a Saturday night in the library, Sev? The homework isn't that dire. Term just started, and we're only second years for Godric's sake!"

"Godric?" Severus asked, despite himself.

Lily waved her hand dismissively in the air. "It's just an expression. Here's another one: you need to get a life. Honestly, Sev! The library?"

Severus shrugged. He often went to the library. It was his place of refuge, away from his Slytherin peers, who always seemed so expectant of him, and the Gryffindor buffoons of his year. The only person he really wanted to see was sitting right in front of him. Thus, when she was not there, he went to the library. He would finish his homework and then read up on magical theory. He was very interested in Potions, like he had been reading before, but had an even stronger passion for the Defense Against the Dark Arts. He had just recently read a book about a skill that allowed a person to look into someone else's mind. What he would not give to see what Lily really thought about him.

Today, however, he was hiding out in the library for a reason a bit more important than mere academic advancement. He did not want to admit that to Lily, though.

She shook her head teasingly, and with a bright smile, she reached across the small table and stole his copy of Magical Drafts and Potions.

"You stole my book," he stated, sounding obvious but feeling a bit shocked.

"Observant, you are," she quipped with a laugh.

He grinned at the sound.

"I cannot, under good conscience, allow you to study any longer. It's just too pathetic, Sev. C'mon, I bet if we hurry the Great Hall will still be serving dinner."

Eagerly, he shoved his quill and parchment into his bag, which was overly worn at the seams and had its strap held on by a charm. "Aren't you going to give me my book back?"

Lily clutched her ransom with a grin. "Can you be trusted not to start doing more school work?"

"Of course," he replied promptly, feeling buoyant from her presence. "I'm extremely trustworthy."

His hand grazed her fingertips as she handed over the book. Ducking his head so that she could not see the slight blush creeping up on his face, he stuffed the book into his bag and then stood up and began walking towards the exit.

"Sev," Lily asked as she followed behind him, "why are you limping?"

"I'm not limping," he stammered quickly. He was lying, of course. The pain in his left leg could only be surpassed by the crushing tenderness of his ribs.

"Yes you are," she replied indignantly. "See!" she added as she pointed to his left foot. "You're doing it right now. What happened?"

Grinding his teeth together, Severus forced his weight onto his left foot while continuing to walk in a normal pace. "You're just seeing things, Lily," he told her in a voice that he kept devoid of the ache shooting down his leg.

"Fine! Fine!" she acquiesced in a blithely tone while she traced the wood of the banister as she scampered down the stairs. "I can see when I'm making you cross."

"And what is it exactly that you see?" he asked promptly as he followed slowly and painfully behind her. He regretted the overly eager tone of his voice that always happened to appear during these sorts of conversations. He felt like such a fool, exposed in his lovesickness over a girl who saw him as just a friend. Yet, there were times, such as now, as she spied him with bright eyes and a gleeful smirk, when he wondered if – perhaps, if he could dare to hope – something in her loved him, as well.

"Your mouth gets all serious. You frown better than anyone I know, Sev."

"What a compliment," he replied dryly, a bit disappointed by the response. In the talk of mouths, Severus's eyes could not help but to flicker down to Lily's lips. They looked pink, soft.

Last week, Avery had barged into Slytherin Common Room and plopped himself down next to Severus on one of the black leather couches with a cheeky smirk plastered to his face. Evidently, Avery had snogged Francesca Lycer earlier that afternoon. While Severus did not approve of such wanton behavior – Avery had admitted to not even liking the girl – he was unable to suppress his envy. The curiosity of what it must feel like to press his lips against a girl's blind sighted him. Severus had never before allowed himself to think about such frivolous things. Yet, lately, those thoughts had plagued his mind.

Avery had told Severus that he was better off just going for it. There was nothing like realization to quench curiosity. Avery said any girl would do; he should just go up to the first girl he saw and find out for himself.

The only girl Severus saw was Lily.

He forced his eyes away from her lips and then frowned at himself.

"And there you go again. What is it going to take to make you happy, Severus Snape?"

Severus took a moment to take a breath, for he suddenly felt as though he had been hit with a Stunning Spell. "Let's just go get something to eat," he answered finally as he held open the door to the Great Hall for her.

"I already ate."

"Pity."

Lily laughed at his overly wry tone and strode into the mostly empty Great Hall. "Where to?"

Severus scanned the room uneasily. While most of the Slytherins had already left, he was still wary to invite Lily to sit with him at the Slytherin Table, and he would rather eat his own toenails than sit at the Gryffindor Table. Perhaps this was why he had suggested he and Lily meet after dinner.

Judging by the way Lily was rolling her eyes, she seemed to sense his hesitation. "C'mon, Slughorn is always telling me I should be in Slytherin anyway."

With a ghost of a smile, he followed Lily over to the closest long table. "You say that like it would be a bad thing."

"Ugh, Sev, you know how I hate snakes. They give me a fright every time I see one. I'll stay where I am, thank you."

His lips curled into a leer. "And with every refusal, Slughorn's heart breaks all the more," he muttered darkly, looking up at the vacated seat of his least favorite professor.

"I don't know why you hate him so much," replied Lily, as though reading his thoughts. She sat down at an empty stretch of the table and scooted over so that he could join her. "He's perfectly harmless."

"Except for his blatant favoritism."

"You're just jealous that he likes me better."

Severus shook his head. "I expect him to like you better."

"Smart boy!" replied Lily with a laugh as she absentmindedly began to help herself to a slice of treacle tart, despite her previous insistence that she had already eaten. "You know," she added with through a mouthful of tart, "he really should give you more credit. You're the one who knows everything about potions. I'm just your partner. You're brilliant."

Severus coughed into his goblet of pumpkin juice. Covering his gaff, he forced a forkful of potato into his mouth.

"It's so odd to be on this side of the room," Lily commented, switching topics. She sat up in her chair and scanned the room. "Everything looks different."

"Sure you don't want to be a Slytherin?" asked Severus, wishing that the Sorting had gone differently and they had been allocated to the same House.

Lily stopped looking around and picked up her fork. "I think it's more like the Slytherins don't want me."

"Lily," Severus hissed angrily. He reached out to grab her hand but then forced it back to his side when he remembered the cuts along his knuckles.

She plastered a smile onto her face. "It's fine, Sev. It's just a fact of life like the sky is blue. I'm a muggleborn."

Severus leaned forward and glanced up quickly to make sure no one was eavesdropping. "That's not a bad thing, Lily."

"Tell that to Tuney," she joked with a forced laugh.

When he did not laugh back, she smiled again, a bit more brightly this time. "It's a shame, you know, that things aren't different. It might have saved me the annoyance."

Puzzled, Severus abandoned his steak and kidney pie to follow her gaze. His eyes narrowed as he spotted Sirius Black and James Potter laughing hysterically at the Gryffindor Table. With the exception of his parents, Severus did not hate anyone like he hated those two boys.

Sirius Black was ungrateful. He had everything. His parents were ridiculously rich. Severus never saw Black being forced to wear his mother's old shirts; everything Black owned was new – of course with the exception of priceless family heirlooms. More than wealth, however, Black had been privileged with the family name. It went beyond status; Black had acceptance. He could have easily fit into the Slytherin House. While Severus had to endure the taunts, the leers, and the ostracism, some Slytherins, like Slughorn, for example, were still scrambling over themselves to vie for Black's attention. Only, despite the ease with which Black could enter the highest social circles, he threw them away like a used tissue. And that fact made Severus hate him all the more.

James Potter was worse. Severus doubted if Potter even knew the definition of the word "unhappy." Just looking at him, Severus felt his appetite disappear. Potter had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth that had been replaced by even more lavishness as he grew up. Potter was a favorite of the professors. He was intelligent, funny, and charismatic in a way that Severus had never been. Even his hair, as ridiculously as it jutted out messily from his head, was superior to what Severus had. Moreover, Potter had one thing that Severus and even Black could not boast: the undeniable affection of his parents. Severus had seen them at Platform 9 3/4. His father had given him a warm hug, and his mother, who had had bloody tears in her eyes, had kissed him before shooing him away. The envy was unbearable. Inexcusably, however, Potter had even more than this. He had friends. He had admirers. And currently, he had Lily Evans staring at him.

"I don't know why he just doesn't get someone to put in announcement in the Daily Prophet for him. Then maybe he could shut up already," the redhead seethed.

"What?" asked Severus, turning his gaze away from the laughing boys and towards her.

"Didn't you hear? I'm surprised. I reckoned he would have told everyone in Europe by now. Though, I suppose you two don't run in the same social circles."

Severus found the truth in her statement to be almost comical. He pressed his chapped lips tightly together and waited for Lily to explain herself.

Ignoring the remainder of her pie, Lily put down her fork and sighed before answering in a defeated voice. "Gryffindor has a new chaser."

"Potter made the Quidditch team?"

"Unfortunately."

"Oh." Severus's mind felt like it was simultaneously shutting down and racing at top speed.

"Yeah. I don't see why he's making such a fuss. It's not as though he's the first human being to ever handle a quaffle."

Severus frowned as he tried to sort out what he was telling her. "But I thought you liked Quidditch? You went to all the matches last year."

"It's fun to watch, but I don't see why he's making such a big fuss. I mean, he is very good - quite impressive, really. I heard that at his tryout he made every single goal, but that doesn't mean he has to be so arrogant about it. I hope he grows out of it because I don't reckon life will be much fun if this keeps up."

While this information did alleviate a bit of the hurt, Severus stiffened and turned back to his disregarded dinner. Pretending he did not notice Lily's inquisitive gaze – the way her eyebrows furrowed together – or the flowery smell of her hair in such close proximity to his left arm, he picked up his fork and started pushing his potatoes across his plate. At home, he rarely saw food in such abundance, and he knew he should take advantage of the opportunity as often as possible; yet, he could not bring himself to eat.

"Severus!"

Severus jerked his head upwards and, when he saw the dark haired boy approaching, he fought the urge to force Lily's head under the table. He clenched his jaw and plastered a grimace onto his face. Perhaps if he did not make it an issue, Mulciber would ignore Lily's presence altogether. "Hello, Mulciber," he greeted with a quick nod.

His dorm mate's lips spread into what one anyone else would have been a polite smile, but, because Severus knew better, was actually a sadistic grin. "You heading back to the dorms later? Avery said he has something to show us. Maybe Francesca gave him a love bite, eh?"

"I'll be up soon," Severus replied in a clipped tone. Carefully, he tried to turn so that he would block Lily from Mulciber's view. Unfortunately, this action only seemed to urge Mulciber to look. Anxiously Severus watched as the boy's eyes darted back and forth between the pair. Severus had always made a conscious effort not to let his Slytherin peers know the full details of his relationship with Lily.

"Who's your friend?"

Severus glanced nervously at Lily. A quick peek at the rest of the table showed him that the remaining, scattered Slytherin diners were all peering curiously at him, likely waiting to see if a row was about to ensue. "Lily Evans," he answered, even though both he and Mulciber knew that Mucliber already knew Lily's name. "Evans is my partner for Potions. She was just asking about a project. She just stopped by quickly." He kept his voice cold and unfeeling, to the point of disdain. He glanced back at Lily apologetically in attempt to explain merely with his eyes that he did not approve of his behavior.

Regrettably, Lily did not seem to understand. Her green eyes widened in confusion. "Hello," she said politely.

Mulciber nodded casually while eyeing the crumbs on Lily's plate. "You know, Severus, I know your mother isn't exactly Tojours Pur material, but that doesn't mean you need to resort to company like this."

Severus dug his nails so deeply into his palms that he was sure he drew blood. He was such a fool to bring Lily to this table. He did not dare to look at her or Mulciber. "I think you better go," he muttered. "I'll meet you later."

"Oh, Severus, don't be so angry. It was only a bit of fun. You're fine, aren't you, Lily Evans?"

Severus wanted to punch Mulciber in the face when he leaned across the table to leer at Lily.

"I should get going," Lily stammered. "I promised Mary, I'd, I should – "

She stood up suddenly and started to leave.

Severus called out her name before he could stop himself, only to the delight of Mulciber.

"Yes, Lily, wait. We haven't gotten a chance to ask Severus about his morning adventure."

Severus's body froze. Surely he would not mention that. He prayed to Merlin that Mulciber had even a scrap of a heart in his hollow chest.

"What?"

"You mean he didn't tell you?" asked Mulciber gleefully as he positioned himself in between Severus and Lily.

"Tell me what?"

"About his tryout! Severus, here, went out for the Quidditch team this morning."

"Sev! You did! Why didn't you tell me? That's brilliant! How'd it go?"

Severus's cheeks reddened. He fingered his wand in his robe pocket and began reciting hexes in his head.

Mulciber smirked. "Fell flat on his ass. Couldn't even get the broom ten feet in the air. Probably the worst try out in the history of the Slytherin House."

Mortified, Severus looked away from Lily's eyes, which were infuriatingly filled with pity, and saw Potter still chuckling in his periphery.

"Oh, Sev, I'm so sorry!"

"Now you know it must be dreadful, Sev. You even have the sympathy of Mudbloods."

Lily gasped audibly and then turned her face away. When she spoke, it sounded like she was trying to stifle tears. "I need to meet Mary. I'll see you tomorrow, Severus."

Severus rushed forward to run after her, but Mulciber stopped him by grabbing his arm. Severus looked at the boy with pure loathing.

"You know, someday you'll thank me for that."

"I highly doubt that."

Mulciber grinned again. "You need to learn something, Severus. If you're ever going to make something of yourself, you're not going to do it by running around behind people's backs with Mudbloods."

Severus jerked his arm out from under his grasp. "Don't call her that."

"It's what she is."

Severus frowned. He marched away from Mulciber and walked back to his dormitory in solitude, wondering if he was doing Lily Evans any favors by falling in love with her.