A/N: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed/favorited/followed and just everyone who's reading in general!
The whole dilemma of having feelings for his best friend and former tag team partner is certainly mitigated by the fact that Randy makes his return to the house shows soon after Roman's return to television.
Seth is wrapping up his wrists in preparation for the main event of Smackdown when he hears a noise behind him.
"Hey." It's a low drawl that Seth instantly recognizes. He turns around to see Randy standing there dressed in a casual sweatshirt and low-riding sweatpants.
"Randy! Hey, man," Seth greets, with a mix of excitement and surprise written on his face. "I thought you had a couple more days of filming," Seth goes on.
"We finished filming early," Randy replies, smiling easily. "I'm actually not supposed to be here right now. Don't want people taking pictures before I make my return or some shit like that. As if people don't know I'm doing house shows," he says, rolling his eyes.
"So I'll see you this weekend, then? I don't want you to get in trouble," Seth worries.
"You know I don't give a fuck about management," he waves off. "I just wanted to surprise you."
"Well, mission accomplished," Seth responds. Randy pauses slightly and Seth waits patiently for Randy to speak his mind.
"Look, I know that the filming schedule kind of messed things up between us…" he starts off.
"Nah. I mean, with us talking on the phone all the time, it never felt like you were really gone for that long," Seth admits.
"You kept saying that you weren't tired," he reminds.
"I know," Seth says, the corner of his lips coming up.
"You missed me," Randy teases, grinning.
"Oh, shut up," Seth shakes his head, lightly hitting Randy on the chest, before Randy breaks out into a chuckle.
"It was pretty boring in the middle of nowhere without you," Randy tells him, taking a step forward.
"I'll bet," Seth laughs, ribbing him back.
Randy stops again and drops the smile on his face, suddenly steering the conversation into a more intimate direction.
"How much time before your match?" He places a hand on Seth's waist and flicks his thumb underneath Seth's tight ring gear.
"Maybe only 20 minutes," Seth replies, biting his lip as his abs tense up and his cock twitches at the contact.
"So, how much did you miss me?" he smirks, raising an eyebrow and suggestively tilting his head towards an unoccupied room across the hall.
Seth just purses his lips and tries to contain his amusement as Randy leads him inside.
As their fingers get reacquainted with every scar on the other's body, Seth forgets about everything and everyone else for just one more day.
The next week, Randy finds out he has to get a minor surgery and he'll be gone from the house show schedule until further notice.
So of course, it gets increasingly harder to ignore Roman without Randy around to occupy his time. The coincidental timing of Roman and Randy's injuries and time off are obviously fucking with Seth's emotions.
Seth doesn't know why or how, but for some unknown reason, he's starting to look at Roman in a new way. In a more than platonic way.
All the time.
So Seth's been making small excuses to avoid talking to Roman for too long. It's terrible of him, he knows. But it's also necessary for the sake of his sanity.
He doesn't think Roman notices it though because it's only been a couple of weeks since he's been back. They're not involved in the same story line and they're not on the same house shows. It's not exactly odd to be spending less time with him considering their schedules.
But when Roman and Seth have a match together for the first time since his return from injury, the little smiles and touches in the ring aren't for show. Seth's not lingering an extra few seconds on every submission hold because he's trying to play up his heel role, and Roman's not smiling because he's thinking about the satisfaction his character will get when he avenges Seth's kayfabe betrayal of the Shield.
They play up all those little nuances for the crowds though, and everything they do in the ring somehow becomes a consequence of their characters and their feud.
They know better.
It's Seth's way to tell Roman that he still misses the carpools, workouts and late-night burger runs. He still misses the way Roman's lips curl when Seth shows him a picture of his dog, the way his eyes squint when he's reading a lunch menu, and the way his shoulders hunch back when they watch a gory horror movie together.
And when Roman pulls Seth in for an embrace – not just some standard handshake – after the match backstage, it's Roman's way to acknowledge that he misses Seth too.
It's times like these when Seth thinks that that there's something more to them than just co-workers with good in-ring chemistry. Something more than friends.
And every touch in the ring, every smile backstage, every drawn-out look, every lick of their lips – they just reinforce that thought.
But then he sees Roman kiss Renee a few minutes later and Randy calls him in the middle of the night, so the thought of Roman and him as something more gets quickly brushed aside.
He doesn't give any more thought to the idea of Roman and him until there's a big house show before the Royal Rumble pay-per-view at which they're both scheduled to wrestle.
When Roman comes back to the locker room with a hand over his ribs and wincing a bit, Seth immediately gets worried. Considering Roman's recent injury and his habit of hiding physical weakness and pain, Seth instinctively goes to ask if he's alright.
"Roman!" Seth calls out to him. Roman stops and turns around.
"Hey," he smiles softly. Maybe it's all in Seth's head, but the smile is different somehow. Unlike all of the hundreds of smiles they've shared before.
"You okay?" Seth asks, concern laced in his voice. "Are you hurt?" he nods towards the hand over his stomach.
"I'm okay. Just sore. That's all," he assures. Roman stretches from side to side and kneads his lower abdomen to demonstrate. "See? Nothing broken or anything. Nothing serious."
Seth goes to gingerly press on it and immediately realizes what a mistake it is.
They wrestle each other in the ring as their characters frequently, but it's not like this. Never like this.
A spark runs up Seth's arm and fire radiates through his bloodstream. He suddenly feels hot all over at the intimate contact of his fingers on Roman's body. Seth's eyebrows scrunch up and his head shoots up at the same time Roman lifts his head.
They lock eyes.
Seth's breathing stalls and his palms clam up, and he realizes then that maybe this is what he's been missing with Randy.
The nervous anticipation coursing through his body. The foggy haze shutting down his brain as he feels Roman tentatively place his hand on top of his own. The shiver down his spine and the tremble of his lips in the hope of something more.
Desire. Curiosity. Excitement.
He searches Roman's dark gray, intense eyes, and he thinks he sees the same lust mirroring his own.
But then Roman hastily pushes Seth's hand away and pulls back.
"I- I'm gonna go put some ice on it just in case," Roman stutters out.
The moment is gone and Roman hurries off in the other direction to leave Seth alone with his thoughts.
He doesn't know when everything changed between them, but it's nerve-racking and scary to feel this way about someone he's considered his best friend for years.
And now Seth knows that he's not alone.
Seth tries his best to forget about that moment entirely, but it's difficult.
He can't escape Roman when he's at the WWE house shows and show tapings obviously, but even when he's driving around each city alone, he still can't get him out of his head. There are places that remind him of Roman. Gyms, restaurants, hotels, gas stations… He recalls random conversations they have and lame jokes they share. He remembers how Roman likes his steak, what brand of conditioner he orders online, his odd habit of flipping the hotel pillows before he lays his head down...
He seems to be remembering everything about Roman lately.
And he knows he shouldn't be because Roman has Renee and he has Randy. They're friends, not lovers. It doesn't make any sense. It sounds impossible.
But Seth just has to look at Roman and he wills it all to make sense.
That he and Roman would be perfect together if they could ever get their act together and admit it.
When Randy conveniently, perhaps thankfully, returns to RAW right after the Royal Rumble, Seth tries to chalk it all up to boredom and loneliness. After all, being alone in a hotel room can make anyone a little stir-crazy. So Seth invites Randy over that same night.
But just as Seth goes to pull on the waistband of Randy's sweats mid-kiss, Randy places a hand over his to stop him.
"Hey, is it okay if we just hang out tonight?" Randy says. "Watch a movie or something?"
That throws Seth for a loop. Randy never denies sex. "Uhh…yeah. Sure."
Seth racks his brain for a time when Randy spent the night without even the slightest implication of sex.
He can't remember one.
Because it's not like Randy to just hang out with people. They get attached; Randy leaves them. That's how it works.
"Okay, cool," Randy smiles. Really smiles at him. No expectation or suggestion. Completely genuine.
Suddenly, after months of being in an already committed relationship, this is the moment it gets too serious for Seth's own liking. Because Randy is obviously more invested in this relationship than he is, and Seth's feelings for Roman isn't just about himself. It dawns on Seth that he can't just ignore everything between Randy and him or everything between Roman and him.
He has to choose.
Randy must sense his apprehension because he slinks his way over to him and places a finger on Seth's bare chest. "You're so needy," he smirks, slowly drawing circles down his abs. "Tomorrow," he promises.
Seth nods and watches a satisfied Randy move towards the bed.
"I wonder what's on tonight," he says conversationally, opening the TV and plopping down onto the mattress.
Seth takes this moment to really look at Randy, who's slouching back in a pair of loose sweatpants with his legs crossed and hands splayed to the side. He looks happy and at ease, and so, so beautiful.
And he wants to be with Seth.
Seth should be happy too. But he gets bogged down in all the 'what ifs' and 'maybes' regarding another man he imagines in that bed.
It seems his mind and his heart has already chosen for him.
"Hey, can we talk?" Seth asks. He moves over towards the bed and sits next to Randy.
"Just talk?" Randy raises an eyebrow suspiciously, knowing Seth's tendency to manipulate Randy until he gives in to whatever Seth wants.
Seth just keeps his composure and responds seriously, "Yes."
"Oh," Randy says surprised, immediately understanding. "Sure," he nods. Randy looks at Seth curiously, giving Seth his undivided attention.
"What is this?" Seth asks, vaguely motioning between the two of them.
"What's what?"
"This…us," Seth elaborates. "Are we still just a physical...thing or are we something more?"
"I dunno…Never thought about it," he admits, rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't like labels," Randy shrugs.
"So humor me…if you were to put a label on this, what would we be?"
"Why are you bringing this up now?" he asks. "Are people bothering you again? Because you should just tell them it's none of their fucking business," Randy raises his voice a bit, irritated.
"No," Seth cuts him off, placing a hand over his to placate him. It works. "I just…" Seth trails off a moment. "We're watching Game of Thrones," he points at the TV.
"Uhh…yeah," Randy says slowly, not understanding.
"We never watch TV," Seth explains.
Randy studies Seth's eyes and sighs as he begins to understand what Seth is trying to say.
"I like what we have right now…and I like you. I think it's kinda obvious."
"I like you too," Seth says slowly.
And it's not a lie because he does like Randy. Seth wouldn't be here with him if he didn't like him and he wouldn't have been with him for the past seven months if things weren't pretty good.
But Seth keeps coming back to the thought of Roman and how things could be better than just pretty good.
Would be.
"Look, it's not a secret that I haven't been with anyone else for a while now," Randy continues. "And I don't think you have either," he points out, staring him straight in the eye for confirmation.
"I haven't," Seth admits, "But I – "
"So we're together," Randy says nonchalantly before Seth can finish his thought. "We don't have to announce it to the world or anything. We're just…Randy and Seth."
Seth hesitates.
"What's this really about?" he sighs. "Is it Roman?" His tone is not accusatory or angry, which takes Seth aback.
"Roman?" Seth squeaks.
"I mean, things have been a bit different between us since we've gotten more serious and the only thing I can think of that's different is that Roman's been back from his injury. I mean, it's okay if you want to start hanging out with him again. I'm not going to stop you from seeing your friends."
If Seth doesn't already feel like a complete asshole in all of this, this certainly does the trick.
"That's not it." Seth shakes his head.
Seth wonders fleetingly if he's fucking up a stable 7-month relationship and a 3-year friendship for a small shot at something with Roman that's probably utterly unrealistic.
But the moment he thinks about Roman and looks at the bed sheets he's tightly gripping, his mind wanders off to impure thoughts of their bodies intertwined in bed. And just as quickly as those crude images fill his head, romantic daydreams of the next morning emerge. Getting lost in Roman's gorgeous gray eyes as Roman tucks his frazzled hair behind his ear. Whispers of "I love you's" alternating with showers of sweet, soft kisses.
It's not just a carnal attraction and it's not just a small something to him anymore. It's starting to consume his thoughts, and he knows he won't be able to let it go until he acts on it.
"Then what's going on?" Randy interrupts his reverie.
"I just need some time. Some space…"
Seth lets out a heavy sigh and looks away from Randy as if he's bracing for his reaction. Randy is always the volatile one; Seth is the calm one. That's why the relationship worked. There was never much disagreement because Seth simply complied.
But maybe that's also why it didn't work.
"You want to see other people," Randy rewords for him. Randy's trying to stay calm, but it's obvious that he's struggling.
"Yes," Seth confesses. It's not the complete truth. He doesn't tell Randy that he's been thinking about Roman for the past month or that he's never felt as attached to Randy as he does to him. But admitting that there might be greener pastures is easy to concede. Seth owes Randy at least that much honesty.
"Are you fucking kidding me?" Randy snaps. "You're seriously telling me this now? You're seriously telling me now that you want to see other people?"
Seth opens his mouth to say something, but quickly closes it once Randy sends him a hard glare.
"Is there someone else?" Randy asks, not really expecting an answer. He starts getting up, unable to control his restless thoughts and body. "You know, I bet there's someone else. I mean, why the fuck else would you want to back out of this now? Things were good between us. Things were really fucking good. I thought they were good."
"They were," Seth says quietly, not even flinching at Randy's words.
"So what the fuck, Seth?!" Randy shouts, looking directly at him. "I really liked you, oh man…I really, really fucking liked you. And I thought you knew that. I mean, you had to have fucking known that. You know I don't do this. You know I don't just get into a relationship just for the hell of it. Why the hell would you do this to me?!"
Randy stops to catch his breath, but Seth doesn't use the time to fight back or to deny anything.
Because he feels like shit honestly. Because Randy truly didn't do anything wrong. There's pain and confusion mixed in the anger, and Seth knows it's his fault. Seth is the bad guy here. He deserves all of the wrath and blame Randy is dumping on him.
"I know it just started as sex. I know, I know, I know," he rambles on, pacing back and forth now. "But I made you breakfast, I called you almost every day, I got on a fucking plane at 5 in the fucking morning to come over to your place in Iowa when you told me you came down with the flu…"
"I know," Seth lowers his head, unable to look Randy in the eye.
"And you!" Randy seethes, his face red and fists clenched. "You fucking called me. You said you missed me. You invited me to come over. Was it all a big, fat fucking lie? Because I thought we were on the same page. I thought you wanted this just as much as I did. That's why I didn't think it was a big deal when things got more serious. Because you were there every step of the way."
"What did I have to do to make it obvious? What did I have to do to make you want a relationship?" he keeps on yelling, gesturing frantically. He stops pacing around the room, looks at Seth, and in a voice that's more broken than enraged, he repeats it again, quieter this time, "What did I have to do?"
And in the midst of the anger spewing out of Randy's mouth, Seth can tell that Randy's really begging Seth to stop him. To apologize and take everything back so that they can forget about this and sleep it off.
But Seth doesn't say a word, and Randy pretty much takes this silence as a confirmation as he slowly retreats. Randy grabs his bag and looks over his shoulder one last time, before he walks out the door.
What can Seth say when it's not him he wants to fight for?