I'm Your Passenger

Chapter 2: Drifting Out & In

Part 1

They walk for a straight hour before Dean has to take a break and sit on a rock to catch his breath. Crowley stands inches away from him, as if he's keeping guard over his most prized possession. He glances down.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine."

Crowley doesn't look convinced. He knows Dean hasn't been eating much lately, and that added to the steady loss of sleep for the past few weeks only makes the demon more concerned for his well being.

"We can talk about it if you want to."

"Talk about what?"

"Your soulless brother."

Dean sighs and looks away but Crowley continues to stare.

"You're exhausted, Dean."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. So stop kidding yourself sourpuss."

"Just leave me alone, okay."

"I mean bloody hell, Winchester. Look at yourself right now. You look like a walking stick."

Dean stands up in anger.

"Just…"

His face goes blank and Crowley comes into his line of vision.

"Dean? Dean snap out of it!"

Crowley watches his face turn green and catches him before he collapses, lowering him slowly down to the grass. They barely get to the ground in time before Dean starts puking his guts up. After his hamburger comes up he starts dry heaving. And Crowley, holding his body up, can feel that it's painful. He can feel his muscles cramp repeatedly for what seems like twenty minutes. Not knowing what else to do he strokes Dean's hair slowly, after a few minutes of doing that he moves on to his neck, rubbing small circles across it and his heaving back.

"It's okay, Dean. Just get it all out. It's okay."

After what seems like eternity the young hunter collapses back against him and the demon slowly moves away from the mess. Crowley positions himself so that Dean's head is in his lap. He gently picks him up and moves him closer to his chest. Dean is shaking so violently that Crowley could almost think he was having a seizure, but he knows better. His eyes are tightly closed in pain and he is so weak that he can't even push Crowley away, he can't even hold on to him. The demon looks down at the whimpering and shivering hunter and feels such guilt about bringing Dean out here in the first place.

"Shhh. It's alright. Just relax, Dean. You're safe with me."

In return Crowley receives more of his dead weight. He wishes Dean would stop shaking, he knows his muscles are sore enough as it is. Crowley curses when he realizes they have no blankets and no water. He might as well shoot Dean to put him out of his pain and misery and then shoot himself for being such a chucklehead. All he can do is not good enough, but he still does it for Dean's sake. Crowley sheds his coat and very carefully wraps Dean in it. Then he pulls him closer and strokes his hair over and over till he's strong enough to recover.

"Crowley?"

Crowley looks down at the miserable hunter.

"You should get some sleep, Dean."

Dean shivers and nods, Crowley pulling the coat closer to his neck. He's surprised Dean is giving in.

"I'm thirsty."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. It's my own damn fault."

"No, it's mine. I should have done a better job of looking after you."

"S' not your job."

"Yes it is."

Dean sighs as Crowley strokes his cheek. He is starting to calm down, much to Crowley's relief. Dean buries his head in Crowley's chest, trying to hide his tears. Crowley runs a warm and soft thumb across his aching forehead.

"I'll be here for you from now on, Dean. I won't break that promise."

Dean smiles and looks up at the demon. He feels safe when he closes his eyes and drifts.

Part 2

Dean drifts in and out for the next hour or so. Crowley knows they should get moving soon, but he doesn't have the heart to tell Dean even when he's barely conscious. Dean would laugh at him. Demons aren't supposed to have hearts, but this demon sure had one for Dean. He's really worried about the hunter, especially the fact that he keeps on waking up every ten minutes. Every time he looks up at Crowley through half open tear filled glassy green eyes, it's almost as if the demon can feel his pain. He stares down into Dean's eyes and realizes he has no idea where he is and who the hell is hovering over him. But now, an hour later, he can finally grasp onto his surroundings.

"Crowley?"

"Yes Winchester. It's your favorite demon."

He untangles his fingers from Dean's hair and places a hand on his forehead. Dean shivers and looks up at him.

"Your fever's starting."

The demon removes his coat from Dean and he moans in protest.

"But…it's so damn cold."

"Shhh", the demon quiets him and pulls him closer, feeling Dean bury his face once more in his chest.

Crowley may look calm and collected on the outside, but in the inside he's far worse than that. His insides are roiling and he's ashamed to say he feels tears coming to his eyes. He can feel the heat emanating from his cheeks and forehead and yet Dean is shivering against him, eyes closed tightly in pain, and barely aware of what is going on. He never should have agreed to this, taking Dean out here when he knew he was in poor health. But he had done it for him because Dean had begged him to find a way to help his brother. And he had come with him because if Dean died he would feel more loss than a demon was ever supposed to feel. No. Dean Winchester would never die alone. The young hunter's mumbled words broke him out of his thoughts.

"How long have we been here?"

"Little more than an hour."

Dean pushes himself out of the demon's chest and stares up at him tiredly.

"We planning on leaving anytime soon?"

"In your condition we're not going anywhere, Dean."

Dean sighs and Crowley begins stroking his hair again, lost in his thoughts. He makes a quick decision. Dean gasps out in pain as the demon lifts him and starts walking. It takes him a few seconds, but then he realizes he's being carried by the same demon who was previously holding him. He wants to protest but can't seem to find the words. Crowley notices.

"Rest Dean. And go back to sleep. I won't drop you."

Dean smiles lightly as Crowley pulls him closer for the hundredth time that day.

Part 3

Forty-five minutes later and Dean finds himself awake. He feels movement and someone stroking his forehead before he opens his eyes a little too quickly. He winces, jolting the demon out of his reverie.

"Take it easy, Winchester. Relax."

"Where are we?"

"Close. Are you comfortable?"

Dean nods slowly and swallows thirstily.

"I'll get you something to drink as soon as we get into town, alright?"

Dean closes his eyes in response and leans heavily into Crowley.

"You'll be okay."

A jolt of dizziness sweeps through Dean and brings nausea with it.

"Crowley, Dean suddenly gasps, I need to lie down."

"We're nearly there, Dean."

"Please. I'm so dizzy. Please just stop. Please…"

"Alright, Crowley gives in, Just calm down."

He very slowly guides him down to the blacktop and lets him curl up painfully on his side, breathing quickly and struggling to slow his dizzy head. Crowley leans down next to him.

"Dean?"

"M' fine", he gasps and lets Crowley move him ever so slowly into his soft and comforting arms, whispering reassuring words to his shaking like crazy body.

"Shhh, just lie against me and close your eyes and breathe."

"Got a killer headache."

"Stop talking and just go back to sleep."

"Crowley… Thanks."

Crowley kisses his forehead and shushes him to sleep.

To be continued…