I still don't own Twilight or its characters; I am simply using them for entertainment purposes. All things Twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer!

A.N. I forgot to mention that this is my first try at writing something that isn't Soap Opera based. I hope all of you who give this story a chance, will like what I write. And should you like it, please leave a review, your comments help to make me a better writer.

If you have any questions or would like to suggest something, feel free to P.M me! I will try to update every other day, but more reviews could spur my muse on! (Sorry I noticed a spelling error, and it was driving me crazy, so I took the chapter off to fix it, but put it back right away. I am sure there will be more typos and such, but I do promise to try and catch as many as possible.)

Chapter One

"This only is denied to God: the power to undo the past."

I sat there for hours holding her small body close to mine. I felt the shivers wracking her body, but when I touched her face, I knew she wasn't cold, for the fact of it all, it seemed like she had a slight fever.

So I remained where I was, wishing I could offer her some form of peace, because when she finally opened her eyes to me, my dead heart threatened to beat out of my chest, the utter emptiness that I saw in her eyes, hurt more than anything I had ever experienced.

From the moment she walked in the door, I knew my life was going to be forever changed. She was, without a doubt beautiful, even in a purgatory of unconsciousness, I could tell that, but it was not her mere beauty that called to me, nor her blood or her obvious intoxicating scent. Something bigger held my attention, but, I was hard pressed to explain just what.

Having her this close, I know understood what Rosalie was talking about, while she all but reeked of another man, one that must have found her tonight, I could smell the others. Being a vampire, my senses were more attuned, and at this moment, I really wish that wasn't true, it broke my dead heart to smell what lay on her skin. I wanted to ask her what happened, how someone could smell of so many, but the emptiness refused to abate; I was for once in my life, completely out of my depths. My gift didn't work on her; I tried numerous times to offer her calmness, peace, but nothing. It felt like there was nothing left inside, and that thought scared me more than anything else.

"Carlisle?" Jasper called softly.

I knew I didn't have to speak loudly, he would hear me and hopefully he would come.

But instead of just my "Father", the whole family walked in to the room, quietly, but their presence seemed to fill the air.

It was then that the woman in my arms finally stirred, but what she did next left me unable to draw a breath, my eyes must have widened, because everyone looked back at me curiously.

Where before she was just resting numb and Jell-O like in my arms, she was now latched around my neck, her arms locked tight, her fingers wound in to my hair in a death grip and her beautiful face was pressed almost painfully in to my neck. I looked beseechingly to my father, but he merely raised his shoulders slightly and let it fall.

The emotions that were coming from my family, almost had me reeling, it was hard to keep up with. Anger, pain, sorrow, pity, desperation and a myriad of others, I tried sending them calm and was able to breathe a little easier, knowing my gift at least could help them. I was having a few moments of wondering if I was…Broken…

Carlisle moved to the bed, sitting in front of me. For the first time in my long life, I realized that Carlisle was scared, he didn't know how to deal with this, but ever so gently he laid his hand on her shoulder, hoping to get her to release her death grip, if I had been human, I would have died from asphyxia.

His cold, yet gentle hand had the opposite effect than he seemed to want.

With a panicky desperation, it felt like she was trying to burrow herself in to me, no longer content to be holding me. We all heard the desperate intake of breath, but I think I was the only one who heard the almost non-existent scream, it was like nothing I had ever heard before. Normally when people screamed it was loud and shrill and did nothing to alleviate a situation, but hers or so it seemed to me, came from her mind and not from her mouth.

I pulled her a little closer, trying my very best to not hurt her anymore than she already was, but even my most gentle touch didn't seem, well, gentle enough. I could see the bruises on her arms from where I grabbed her before she had fainted earlier, and it hurt my heart.

"Jasper, I have to examine her, she's been bleeding, and we have to make sure she is okay." Carlisle said softly.

We both saw how she clung even tighter to me, I don't know how she did it, because it looked like she had already used all her strength, but she kept surprising me, us.

"Will you bring Bella to my office; you can stay with her if you like Jasper."

I didn't know what to do, what to say, but I knew one thing, she had to be checked out, something could be terribly wrong. So with a hope I didn't really feel, I slowly stood up, not wanting to jostle her anymore than she already had been.

I had to groan, it escaped my lips before I even had a moment to think, before I could even stop it, because as soon as I stood, her legs came up and wrapped around my hips, her bony little heels digging in to my ass cheeks. It was the most erotic feeling and made me feel like a complete heel for even having that impure thought, so instead of allowing my body to have free reign, I began to recite the kings and queens of England, but even with that running through my mind, it did little to assuage the way my body wanted her.

I looked at Carlisle with a pained expression, equal parts fear, horror and unquenchable lust. A sad smile flitted across his lips before he waved his hand at the door. I knew he was trying to help, in that small gesture, but I felt like I was dying.

"I'll see all of you downstairs." Carlisle said to the rest of the family. "Jasper, come on."

The short distance to his office was like spending a century with the most alluring of blood calling to me, and never being able to drink it. With every step I took, she all but ground herself against the part of my body that would not listen to reason and before I could stop myself, I began to purr. I had never purred before and doing so now, made me feel like the biggest ass in the world, but it also made my heart soar!

I tried to set her down on the examination table, a table that was not really needed, but it kept up the pretenses that we were always trying to project. She wouldn't let go, and it hurt my heart, but it also made me feel like she needed me. Not knowing what I could do to get her to release me, Carlisle stepped in and took care of the…problem.

Always the gentleman, the compassionate one, it was hard to hear the words that slipped through his lips and the finality that broached no argument. "Bella, you need to release your hold on Jasper, I need to check you over, you are bleeding, and until I can guarantee that you are alright, I will not stop." His voice was firm and full of power, but his face looked as pained as mine.

Still, the threat hung in the air, she didn't move, she didn't speak, she just clung to me, almost as if her life depended on it.

A low, almost feral growl pushed forth from Carlisle's lips. Squaring his shoulders, he moved to Bella, and forcefully removed her from my body. I am not exactly sure how he did it without causing more damage, but it seemed like he had.

He placed her on the examination table, stepping back once she was there, and with a brief glance, we knew something much worse was going on. Whatever it was, the nothingness that I had seen earlier had not retreated, it looked like, she wasn't even here, her eyes were open, but they looked, for all intents and purposes, dead.

I tried to repress the growl that surged through me, but there was no point, somehow, during her short stay with us, thus far, she had weaseled her way, not only in to my life, but, in to my heart as well.

Carlisle didn't bother with being modest; he removed her clothes, setting them stiffly on the chair next to the bed. I could hear the low hum of a growl being pulled from his chest too, with every inch of skin revealed; it was hard to keep any semblance of control.

Her body, while undernourished and deathly pale, was still beautiful, but the skin of her stomach, her breasts, her inner thighs, they were a patch work of scars. I couldn't even fathom what could have caused them, but the silvery patches all but glowed. The bruises were almost the worst of it all. There were dozens of them, and each one, even the ones that were fading or almost completely gone, all were someone's hands. You could almost see the dips and swirls of the complex fingerprints. I had a brief moment of wondering if I could track down every man from those prints. I would be saving the worlds women if I took care of them…

Unable to watch the next part of the examination, I stood instead, facing Bella, holding her hand, and all but begging her to react to me. But, as she lay as naked as the day she was born, she didn't flinch or make any indication she knew what was happening.

I heard Carlisle's weary breath, exhaled rather loudly, it sounded like he was relieved, but within moment's that small relief turned, contorted, becoming an animalistic growl of pure rage. I didn't want to, but my eyes betrayed me, and turned to look at his face, and the look I saw, tore my heart, damn near shredding the unbeaten organ.

I followed his eyes and saw where the blood was coming from, and my knees suddenly felt weak, I suddenly felt weak all over. With the draining of my energy, I quickly forced my eyes away, staring at nothing as I tried to control my need to tear something apart, limb from limb.

When I watched Carlisle gently prod the bruising and swelling of her cheek and eye, it made me wince in pain. It looked like it hurt, but she wouldn't even acknowledge that anything was going on.

He wanted to tell her to keep an ice pack on it, to keep the swelling and bruising down, but didn't see the point, she was beyond caring.

I don't know how long I stood there with my eyes closed and my one fist curling and uncurling, but it must have been some time, because as I finally pulled myself back to the moment, I noticed Carlisle was gone and there were clothes sitting next to Bella. All the scratches she had sustained where now covered with gauze. I could smell the antiseptic that Carlisle had used and the ointment as well. But even with all the medicinal smells floating around me, I could still smell the man who had touched her, hurt her…

I shook my head for a moment, not knowing what my father wanted from me, but realizing that no one was coming back, I slowly pulled my hand from Bella's and began to dress her. There was nothing erotic about it, just full of much pain and a whole lot of despair. With her clothed, I slipped my one arm under her legs and the other behind her back, and still she didn't move. I walked slowly to her room and placed her under the covers. Wanting nothing more than to take her in my arms and make all of her past disappear. However, I needed to hunt, again, and I needed a few moments to get my self under control.

I turned back to her one last time, hoping, praying even, that I would see a spark of something, but her eyes just stared unseeing up at the ceiling. I gently extinguished the light and made my way down stairs.

My family looked almost as lost as I felt, but, knowing there was nothing I could possibly do for them, at least without manipulating their emotions, I gave them a sad smile and dashed out in to the rain.

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"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

When the lights were finally extinguished and the room was bathed in darkness, I was finally give the time to think. And while, on the outside I looked completely lost, I knew, the darkness that I so wanted, wouldn't remain, it was once again tossing me in to the trenches, forcing me to face this life, a life I hadn't really created, and at the same time, had. A sob escaped my lips before I could stop it, but no tears were shed, they were locked tight in my heart.

How did this happen? Never before had I been caught. While it was obvious the other foster families lacked the money the Cullen's had, and the intelligence, something still didn't feel right. Unless, somehow, my instincts were wrong, perhaps someone had remained in the house earlier.

These thoughts came and went in a matter of seconds, and while I didn't want curiosity to ruin the dark abyss of my mind, I knew something didn't coincide with what my gut was telling me.

The Cullen's were obviously nice people, and while that was a rarity when it came to the people who took me in, I knew I had to figure a way to get out of here.

Broken, beyond repair, I didn't need to curse this family with my fate. But how, how could I possibly get out of this, they are all so perceptive. Could I remain for eleven more months, without causing them anymore pain? I wasn't foolish enough to believe that I hadn't already caused them pain; it was obvious when I came in the house the last time. Was there a way to stop doing what I had been doing all my life, and just survive the next few months, I wasn't sure, but I was going to try my best.

Unable to sit still any longer, seeing as how the dark oblivion had once again tossed me away, I slowly made my way to the washroom, I needed a shower, and badly. After all, school started tomorrow, or rather today. With a quick look at the clock, I realized I had even less time than I thought.

It wasn't that I wanted to go to school, or do anything besides lay here and drown in my own thoughts. But, I was not foolish enough to believe the Cullen's would allow that, if I didn't get up and make an effort, they might, thinking they were helping me, send me some place for people like me, beyond help…With a decisive nod, I stood up and began to prepare for the day ahead.

Within the steaming confines of my shower, I began to plot, eleven months, that wasn't a long period of time, especially if you took in to account what I had lived through for years, so, first off, I would have to find a way to find oblivion on my own, without the aid of defiling myself, at least when night came, when I was in my room and no one could see. Then, there was also the problem of keeping not only my new parents out of the loop, but five brothers' and sisters'. I wasn't an actress, but I figured I could play my part well enough to not be bothered. At least play the part that was true, I was quiet, I didn't talk much, I didn't do much at all, but if I put forth little efforts, it might be enough, I prayed it would be enough.

Finally scrubbed clean, my pale skin looking worse than before I started, it always happened though, after what happened last night, I couldn't get the feel of the grimy guy off my skin, it felt like he had invaded my very blood, so I scrub with ruthless abandon, rubbing raw my skin that was already abused and tender. Feeling as clean as I ever could, I quickly walked in to my bedroom, wrapped in a towel and realized, forlornly, my only pair of jeans was now a ruined mess. However, before I could even really contemplate what I was going to wear, I spotted a few pairs of pants and shirts on the dresser. I took in my face as I walked by the mirror and had to wince at the dark purple and black of the bruise; at least I could be thankful most of the swelling went down.

I threw on some clothes, not really caring how they looked, and realized, they were almost too small, but, that was life. Shrugging and squaring my shoulders I quietly shut the door to my room and walked down the stairs to the living room. I had to look around before I spotted the kitchen. Even being determined didn't really help the pure fear I felt shoot through my system, the only thing I could hope was no one would ask any questions, or if they did, they would remain light…Not likely, but I could hope.

As I walked in to the kitchen, I really wondered what I was thinking. This was beyond anything I had ever encountered, but the mantra that was quickly becoming my only saving grace, "eleven months, eleven months", pounded in my mind, giving me that last little push to step before everyone.

Taking a deep breath and holding it momentarily, I said, "Hi guys, what time does school start?"

Seven pairs of eyes turned to look at me, almost incredulously. The younger eyes all turned to the older, wiser ones, questions blazing behind their beautiful golden honey gaze, before they all turned once again to me.

Unable to handle the scrutiny, I slowly began to inch my way out of the kitchen, shrugging my shoulders. But before I could move past the threshold, someone spoke, "We-we always leave the house by seven-forty-five, and first class begins at eight-ten…."

"Okay and how do we get there, bus or something?" I asked, not bothering to look anyone in the eyes, just dancing across everyone's.

Unsure what I had said, the room burst out laughing.

"Actually, we drive ourselves; normally Edward drives us all…" Jasper replied, so unsure of himself now that she was standing before him.

I nodded my head, unsure if I was suppose to say anything, so I just twitched my lips a little, trying my damnedest to offer a smile, but, I think I have forgotten how to do something that comes naturally to millions, billions even. It felt more like a grimace to me, but they all smiled back. So instead of prolonging the moment, I turned on my heel and walked out of the kitchen, of course, just my luck, with fifteen minutes before we were to leave, I had to go and trip. One moment I was falling and the next I was held securely in Jasper's arms, my cheek pressed almost intimately to his chest.

"Umm, thanks!" I said, trying to still the sudden erratic beating of my heart.

I made the mistake of looking up into his eyes, but while tilting my head slightly off his chest it brought me closer to his face, I hadn't realized just how close until my lips grazed his and an amazing shot of electricity, coupled with adrenaline shot straight through my body. My cheeks instantly flamed a bright red, mortifying me more as I realized he all but jumped away from me as our lips parted.

One hand was clawing through his hair, messing the blonde strands, while his other, gently, almost reverently touched his lips.

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

"So, school?" I asked, hoping no one noticed the way my voice quavered, albeit, lightly.

Don't get me wrong, I hate school as much as anyone, maybe more than most, but mostly because I am almost always the new girl, the freak that everyone talks about. I have been in more new schools than shopping malls, and while I am a girl, the whole allure of shopping doesn't work for me. So, needless to say, I didn't want to go to school, but if I could survive just eleven more months, it wouldn't make a difference, I've had much worse to live through, and this should be no different. Eleven months and then I wouldn't have to pretend anymore; at least I hoped I wouldn't.

"Bella…" Esme said, almost floating to my side.

I had to fight down the urge to shuffle away from her, but did so, I believe without drawing too much attention.

"Yes?" I squeaked, unintentionally.

"Perhaps before you go, you would like to, meet everyone?" Esme said in a melodious voice.

"Right, of course, sorry." I replied, my head ducking down slightly, a slight blush rising to my already hot cheeks.

Everyone seemed to shuffle closer together, either making it easier for her to identify, or simply wanting the comfort from one another, I wasn't sure, and at the moment, I didn't really care, I just wanted to get this day over with.

Pointing to each person, Esme said, "Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, Alice and obviously you know Jasper." She said it softly, but her eyes were smiling.

I nodded to each and managed to inarticulately whisper, "Hi."

I was "Hi'd" back by everyone, but before I could turn and head towards the front door a pair of big, impossibly strong arms scooped me up in a bear hug, I couldn't describe it as anything else, and even though I felt all but smothered, I also felt strangely safe. I shot a quick look at the person holding me before squeaking, "Can't breathe…"

"Emmett, put her down." Esme all but chastised him.

"Welcome to the family lil' Sis!" Emmett said before placing me back on my feet.

Looking around, I noticed a scowl mar Rosalie's face, before she strode forward, taking Emmett's hand and leading him to the door.

I have never been hugged like that, the almost hug of being in Jasper's arms were completely different. What Emmett had done made me feel a smidgeon like someone actually wanted me around and not just for my body. My eyes burned slightly with a tell-tale sign of tears, but like a million times before, they would never fall.

Not wanting to draw attention to myself, I slowly moved to the door, wanting to make sure I didn't once again, trip on air.

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