Hi guys! I'm back again real quick with the first chapter. Hope you guys like it! Me and my horrific humor. MWAHAHAHA!
Chapter 1
After landing safely and not crashing like I implied would happen, Tails instead found himself in the wrong spot. (Ha! You didn't expect that!)
Fortunately, he found the right spot one millisecond later. (Didn't expect THAT either did you?!)
Tails smiled as he walked up the marble stairs into the courthouse. With a courageous smile, he marched as heads turned around to see the fox striding down the hall. He then burst into the courtroom and stood there for a minute to take in his surroundings. He could feel the tension in the air as all the spectators in the packed room all whispered to each other, worrying about what was to become of their favorite hero of Mobius. Why would something so random happen to get Sonic arrested? Was it all some sort of ploy? Who would win this epic dispute?
"Tails!" shouted Knuckles, who was sitting with all of Sonics' other friends.
"Hi Knuckles! Ready to win this?" Tails asked.
"You better! Or else I'm going to blame all of my sadness and loneliness on you if Sonic goes to jail!" cried Amy.
"I'm sure Tails will do a great job Amy!" said Knuckles trying to calm Amy down, but having a trace of worry in his voice.
Tails then walked over to the defense table. He was greeted by an unfazed Sonic who was leaning back in his chair casually. Immediately, Sonic looked at Tails and gave him a big thumbs up and a wink.
"Ready to kick some legal butt?" Sonic asked fervently.
"You bet Sonic!" Tails replied just as boldly. "We'll show that cop what justice is."
"You got it bro!"
They embraced quickly, which evoked a few "awws" from the audience.
They then took a look at the prosecution table. There was no one.
"Hey Sonic, looks like the Mobian government couldn't find a public prosecutor. Maybe we can get the case dismissed since no one is here against you."
"That'd be great, because I'm starving for a chili dog right now!" Sonic replied.
Just then, a middle-aged dog in a shabby gray suit stepped into the room and looked around solemnly. He saw many angry looking people stare at him menacingly. As if he was going to be sentencing Sonic to death.
"I'm sorry I'm late." the dog replied.
He walked down and took a seat at the prosecution and ignored all the piercing stares that he knew were directed at him. Right now, he had to prepare for the case. It would definitely be one of his most difficult cases, but he had never backed down before. Why should this time be any different? He looked over to the defense table and saw the hedgehog in his jail garb. Tails looked over Sonic's shoulder to find the dog looking at them. Tails got up and walked over to the defense table.
"Hi there sir!" the young fox said cheerily. "Good luck on your case!"
"And just who are YOU?" the dog replied in disdain as he took a big gulp of water. This kid was distracting him from concentrating on his case.
"I'm the defense lawyer."
*SPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!!!!! HACK! HACK! COUGH!!!*
The dog doubled back and coughed out all his water in a massive spit take. Who did this kid think he was messing with him like that? Then he realized he had almost soaked the kid, who was looking up at him in concern.
"Are you ok sir?" Tails asked a little worriedly.
"Ermm…" he couldn't concentrate as the whole crowd started to whisper loudly and point at him. Before he could say anything, Sonic came out and grabbed Tails.
"Why so surprised Mr. Wood?" Sonic demanded to know as his gaze fixated upon the dog. "Don't you underestimate my best buddy here. He just might show you up today…and be careful where you spit!"
And Sonic stormed off back to his table seething with fury.
"May the best lawyer win, Mr. Wood!" Tails shouted, who seemed almost oblivious to the fact that the dog did NOT think a little kid was a suitable lawyer.
"I can't believe he just dissed you like that." Sonic said, who had calmed down, but still had a trace of indignation in his voice.
"It's ok Sonic. He was just surprised. Besides, once we beat him, then he'll probably see that I'm not a total idiot." Tails said as he turned to look at Mr. Wood again.
"That lawyer kid…how…DID THAT KID DODGE MY SPIT TAKE SO WELL?!?!?!" Mr. Wood thought to himself. Oh and how did he also pass a bar exam even when he was 8 and become the lawyer for Sonic the hedgehog? He just couldn't shake the thought of an 8 year old with such AMAZING reflexes and STUNNING agility. It just wasn't possible. And the fact that Tails was even a lawyer right now was questionable, but mostly, Mr. Wood could not imagine such a SPEEDY fox.
"I'll have to keep on my toes with THIS kid. Just for that, I think I'm going to have to try harder on this case than on any other case because this kid is simply FAST and EVERY case is decided by SPEED."
Unknown to the dog, the author was simply LAUGHING HIS FACE OFF!!! HAHAHA! OH THIS IS TOO GOOD..."
After I—er, the author regained his composure, he decided to write YET ANOTHER "I WON'T EVER GIVE UP" TYPE OF SCENE and finish with a cliffhanger. (or would he?)
After Sonic's anger had subsided, he started to ponder about what could have caused his dilemma? What if he was convicted and couldn't save the world from Eggman?
Eggman…it had to be him. He was the one who got him in this mess.
"Tails."
"Yeah Sonic?"
"I have a feeling that Eggman is behind this…"
Tails thought for a moment.
"No matter who's up to this Sonic, we're going to win this. You've done so much for me Sonic already. This is the least I can do…and if Eggman is behind this, we'll catch him too and bring him to justice! I will never give up Sonic! I'm not going to quit on you because you never quit on me."
There was an encouraging valiance in Tails's voice. And then their expressions softened. For a moment, Tails and Sonic looked at each other not saying anything. The two best friends sat quietly, somehow knowing that everything would be alright...
Then the bailiff walked in.
"All rise!" the bulky bailiff bellowed in his burdensome brown boots.
And the author laughed. Because he made a corny moment, an alliteration moment, and an ROBOTNIK YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE DEAD AND WE DON'T KNOW IT moment.
Oh I am so clever…and with that…
"The Honorable Judge Thomas Aquinas Matthew Darson McKenzie Saur Kurrus Pool Dix presiding."
And the author's high school teacher walked up to the stand in his black robe, with a grand look on his face as he stared at me. And I just gawked.
And then he spoke.
"Be seated."
Everyone sat down.
"And now before we begin, I hope the author is going to make me look like a decent person. No funny business here."
The crowd was confused.
"Shh! Mr. Dix! You're not supposed to say there is an author here! *Sighs* well it sure is good to see you again. The cancer didn't resurrect with you right?"
"No. Now are we going to get this trial going? I know you miss me, but right now I need to be an important figure in your story. Let's see how well you can do this…"
"Alright Mr. Dix. You're the guest of honor. Have fun torturing the teenager."
"A teenager? Where?"
"He's the defendant. But he's a good person."
*scoffs* "Teenager? GOOD? No way!" Mr. Dix said sarcastically. It was his normal type of humor.
"Oh Mr. Dix. If you want to go declare him guilty, just do it now then."
"Don't I need to ask the almighty author to do that?"
"Just give me the word and I can make you make Sonic guilty for no reason."
"Naw that's ok. I want to see you get writer's block and painfully try to write your so-called story. Hahaha! Little teenager…"
*laughs* "Ok Mr. Dix, that's enough sarcasm for the readers out here."
"Well, we're not getting any younger here!"
"Alright, alright…"
*ahem*
Mr. Dix then called for order.
"Next case on the docket, People vs. Sonic the hedgehog. Charges are—"
"Excuse me your honor?" Tails asked politely.
The judge was surprised, but quickly responded. "Yes?"
"I would like to motion to take these prison clothes off of the defendant."
"Objection! This is a frivolous charge!" yelled Mr. Wood, thinking that the child was trying to freak him out with his EPIC speed and agility.
"Actually, in the case of State vs. Paul J. Kuchera Sr. in 2008, it was determined that a person in custody cannot be forced to testify on the stand with prison garb on due to the fact that it is more prejudicial towards the defendant and can cause bias among the jury." Tails explained.
Mr. Wood's jaw dropped. The kid WAS trying to freak him out!
The audience murmured in approval for a few seconds. The gavel banged.
"Sustained. 5 minute recess for the defendant to take those clothes off if he chooses."
*Bam*
"I get to take these lame duds off? Nice!" Sonic thought to himself happily.
"Thanks for that buddy!" Sonic said as he was escorted by the bailiff to a changing room.
"No problem Sonic!" Tails said proudly.
Everyone was pleasantly surprised at this very unexpected turn of events. Everyone except for Mr. Wood…
"I'm going to go INSANE from that kid's DEXTERITY. I just know it has to do something with this situation. It just has to…" Mr. Wood thought to himself as the author and the judge smirked at the crazy dog…
"We're in for a special treat…" Mr. Dix and I said in unison.
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Just to clarify, yes Mr. Dix is a real teacher who died (I miss him), yes State vs. Paul J. Kuchera Sr. was a real court case, yes Mr. Wood is supah paranoid, yes I have the greatest respect for Mr. Dix and I am trying very hard not to undermine his personality, even though it seems at the moment I'm portraying him as a somewhat brusque person, yes I am insane, and yes…
YOU WILL REVIEW THIS AND HELP ME OUT IF YOU HATE THIS…
That'll be all. Thanks for reading so far, and hope you like my eclectic humor. Until then, see you later!