Author's Note: Expect the occasional reference and even a few anachronisms.
OOOOOO
"That's right, the Kyubii was sealed into you! You are the Kyubii-no-kitsune, destined to kill everyone! That's why everyone hates you!"
The blond reeled back as if punched. It was so absurd, but explained so much; he could feel the truth of it pressing down on him.
"Shut up! There's no way Naruto-kun is the Kyubii!" cried Hinata, who had come out of hiding. "We know him better than you, the monster would never be able to care about people like Naruto does!"
"Tcha. You! Then I guess the other demon loving heirs are here as well?"
Iruka was wounded, but still able to talk, and even fight a bit. "Give up. There's no way you can defeat all of us. I'll talk them into giving you one of the nice cells. Otherwise, I don't think I'm strong enough to capture you. I'll have to kill you."
The traitor grinned at his opponents. "Please, just because I'm officially a chunin doesn't mean that I'm as weak as you, Iruka. I can take on five 13 year old brats and a wounded chunin-sensei no problem! HA HA HA- urk!" Mizuki slid back as an expanded fist, courtesy of Choji, hit him in the stomach.
"How troublesome. All this drama, and it's happening on a night that the moon is barely out on. Still, I've managed to trap you," said Shikamaru calmly from behind the traitor. "Don't try to fight it, if I miss, you'll be paralyzed for life instead of just a week." Drawing back his arm with a kunai in it, he jerked, then released the technique before jumping out of the way of three shuriken.
"Heh, you're supposed to be the smart one? There's not enough light for your shadow to bind someone so much stronger than you. If any of you have brains, you'll give me the scroll and run for it! Hell, I'll even leave the demon alive… if not completely intact."
Hinata chose that moment to jump out behind the man. Skipping the range of divination comments, she skipped straight to the important part. "Two palms, four palms, eight pal-" she got out, before getting struck by a wide rotating kick. "EEK!" She flew back towards a tree, but Iruka caught her and set her down.
Mizuki flexed his left arm, which had been partially paralyzed by this last attack. "Stupid brats! Forget it! I'm killing you all before I leave with the scroll." The man flipped through seals quickly, alarming Iruka as it appeared to be a large fire jutsu. Shino rushed forwards, insects buzzing, as he tried to interrupt what was obviously a fight changing jutsu.
Suddenly an oppressive aura settled over everyone, and killing intent focused on Mizuki, stopping him from completing the large jutsu. "Enough! This is my fight! I won't let my friends get hurt, no matter what!" The blond stood, tossing the scroll to Iruka, and focusing his eyes on his enemy. "What an idiot you are! Either you're stupid enough to think you can take on a force of nature and win, something the strongest ninja, our fourth Hokage, couldn't do; or you'll feel better for having killed a kid that hadn't done anything to anyone! You're disgusting! Even worse than the villagers, they have the excuse of not understanding sealing and military matters!"
"Naruto-kun… your eyes…" the girl said quietly, though the forest was so still, everyone could hear it.
Naruto was emanating a hazy purple aura that stung a few of his friends before they backed up. His eyes were changing between blue and red, staying purple most of the time.
Mizuki seemed to shake off his momentary shock. "See? The truth comes out! I'm not stupid at all. You are the Kyubii, biding your time after being greatly weakened. I'll kill you now before you recover enough to defend yourself! Iruka, surely you recognize this red youki! Help me avenge your parents!"
"Shut up! I won't let you spew any more of your twisted logic! Kage-bunshin!"
The forest filled with smoke, and as it dissipated it revealed hundreds of furious blonds.
Mizuki grew utterly terrified. "No. I'm too late. It's already healed!"
The solid clones rushed in and pummeled the man, taking out the original's frustrations on the traitor. The clones punched so hard they occasionally dispelled themselves.
Naruto's friends and Iruka stood there, the students processing the information they had received, while Iruka prayed that everything would work out.
Naruto's aura winked out, and he dispelled the remaining clones. Mizuki was alive, but you could tell just from looking at him he would be in excruciating pain if conscious. Some joints were going the wrong way, most of his teeth were missing or broken, and from the smell that was coming from him, he had released his bowels during the beating.
The blond walked off into the bushes and puked, before staggering back and curling up on the ground. The male students looked at each other, while Hinata ran up to him crying, hugging her crush. Slowly, the three boys walked up to the pair on the ground and tried to comfort their friend.
Iruka let go of a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. It seemed Naruto's peers accepted him. While the event overall was a disaster, the teacher could see a lot of good coming out of this.
oooooo
Naruto sat up out of bed, rather sweaty, and looked at the alarm by his bed. "Three A.M.? Shit!" The blond grabbed his pillow and fluffed it aggressively. "I haven't dreamt about that for nearly a year! Ugh, I'll have to tell my head shrink next session."
The blond knew he wouldn't get back to sleep for a while, so he got up to get a glass of water. "Why now? Is it because I'll be a genin tomorrow?" He, like the rest of his class, had gotten the results back from the exam earlier that night. There was a small letter from the old man telling him not to worry about being called for specifically by a jonin. It explained that while it was true the exams gave insight into the students, indirectly determining which team they would best fit in, the story that your exam score dictated your team placement was just rumor propagated to get students to study. While it didn't say whom he was with, it suggested that Naruto would be unhappy, but it would be rewarding if he put up with it.
"Screw it. I need to get to sleep. It would be poor form to show up to meet my jonin-sensei brain dead," he rationalized. He opened a cabinet, and grabbed a hidden key. Walking over to the sink, he unlocked the doors under it and grabbed a half full bottle of strong rum. Pouring the water out of his glass, he filled it with about three fingers, then locked the bottle away again. Turning to the fridge, he pulled out a milk carton and sniffed it. Deciding it was okay; he poured it into the rum until it nearly filled the glass. After putting everything away, he opened a window and got himself up to the roof. He pulled a tarp off a ratty looking, but comfortable, yard lounger he had found on the side of a street. Laying back on it, he sipped his drink and made a face at the flavor.
This was the one thing Naruto was certain the old man didn't know about, now that he knew of their shared taste in pornography. Not that it was a big deal. The blond had never even gotten drunk so far. But he felt Jiji would be disappointed if he knew that every so often he had a bit to ease the passing of the night. The adolescent had made his psychologist swear up and down to patient confidentiality before he told the woman about it. She told him since he was breaking the law, she wasn't bound to it, however she relented as long as he promised to never abuse it, and keep her aware of what was happening in his life.
Apparently the alcohol wasn't even doing anything to him physiologically. She told Naruto it was psychosomatic, he expected drinking would put him to sleep, so it did.
The blond stared up into the sky in his boxers, pondering the future and occasionally grimacing at the fowl taste of his concoction. If the teen was honest, he was more nervous than he'd been for a very long time. He'd been certain he would pass, but there was nothing he could do to effect which teammates he would get. And what about this sensei that had apparently asked specifically for him and another boy? One would assume they knew what they was getting into if they asked for the blond, but Naruto knew he ruffled a lot of people's feathers with his… unique… personality.
Naruto felt himself start to relax, apparently because his mind was tricking his body, and let himself drift away into the night. He'd face whatever challenges came in the morning the way he always did: head on, then from whichever direction they least expected it.
oooooo
Naruto woke up again as a seagull pulled on some of his hair. Yawning, the boy checked the position of the sun, and stretched. "Heh, it would be ironic if I slept late today. Thanks seagull-san! The gang said we'd meet for breakfast before class!"
Grabbing the empty cup, he ran down the side of the apartment complex and swung into his window, rushing around to do his morning constitutionals and get ready. After washing up, he slid on the outfit Hinata had helped him pick out. It took a while, but he understood now how god-awful he had appeared as a kid. That didn't stop him from keeping orange highlights on his outfit.
Checking himself after putting on the standard load-out for a d-rank mission, he raced out and over to the bakery where he and his friends met before class occasionally.
A few moments later, a masked jonin and the Hokage faded into sight in the hall. After picking the lock, the pair walked into the teen's apartment.
"Fairly tidy for a teenager living on his own," the man remarked.
"I still think it's a little late for you to be doing research on your students Kakashi. You should have done this weeks ago, considering you asked for him specifically."
"Yes, but would I have found out as much about him when he wasn't stressed? Probably not."
Kakashi walked around analyzing the apartment, opening cabinets and the refrigerator, before sniffing a glass on the counter. "He already drinks?"
"Wouldn't you, in his place?" The old man shook his head, "He thinks I don't know. It doesn't seem to be a problem, so we're ignoring it. The psych department says it's a minor quirk, although they're keeping an eye on it."
"Still, at this age…" the younger man said.
"I'm told that your refusal to show up on time is a more worrisome trait than his occasional sip or two. He acquired a liter of rum over six months ago and has only used half of it. Are you done here, or do you want to see the bedroom?"
The cyclops knew when to stop pressing a point, and nodded, heading for the bedroom. Looking around, he tapped a section of wall and looked at the Hokage for permission. Getting it, he depressed a knot in the wood, and slid the wall away, revealing a nearly complete collection of his favorite literature.
The jonin slid everything back in place with a chuckle, "At least I know we have something in common." He glanced around again then poked his head into the bathroom. "Alright, I got what I came for. Let's see Sasuke's place next."
ooooo
Despite hurrying, Naruto found himself the last one to their customary bakery/breakfast shop. "Hey guys! Everyone ready? I'm pretty nervous myself!"
The five friends chatted anxiously amongst themselves, going over the exam results and what they had been up to over the weekend. Now that everyone was there, they ordered food and a large pot of tea.
"The old man won't tell me what the teams are, but I'm pretty sure there won't be a Shino/Hinata/Naruto team, unfortunately," the blond predicted.
"While disappointing, that was not unexpected," Shino replied.
"It would take a miracle to get me and Choji on any other team than with Ino. Ugh, if it weren't for my mother I'd quit being a shinobi just to avoid teaming with her. My mom's even more troublesome than the blond bimbo though."
"Yeah but at least you have certainty, all I know is that some jonin asked for me and another guy personally. I can probably put up with anyone as long as it isn't the Uchiha bastard though. Maybe I'll be with Kiba, he's a bit dumb, but always good for a laugh, and pretty tough too."
The teens ate and suggested hypotheticals until it was time to go.
"Hey, whatever happens, we'll still stick together right?" Naruto asked.
"Of course. We'll be busy, but we still get mandatory free time no matter who our jonin sensei will be."
"Right!" Choji added.
The friends smiled and walked to the Academy for the last time for what would be quite a while.
oooooo
All the students who had passed were sitting in the auditorium, waiting to hear their fate. The full spectrum of emotions was visible in the room as Iruka took center stage.
"Good morning genin! If you are here you are now part of Konoha's military might, a ninja! I have made enough speeches, so I will be listing the teams momentarily. Afterward, your jonin-sensei will pick you up and take you out of my hands. Any questions? Everyone gone to the bathroom? Is it obvious I'm getting my revenge on you all by making you wait? Good! Team one: Hayabusa Ryu, Tenshin Kasumi, and Souma Kumiko under Kanzaki Hayato. Team Two:…
The chunin continued to read names, bringing joy to some, and anguish to others.
"Team seven: Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke under Hatake Kakashi. Team eight: Aburame Shino, Hyuuga Hinata, and Inuzuka Kiba under Yuuhi Kurenai. The team nine designation is still in use. Team ten: Akimichi Choji, Nara Shikamaru, and Yamanaka Ino under Sarutobi Asuma. Good luck!"
Iruka walked off the stage and listened to the wails of suffering that the various brats were making, now that they knew their teammates. It was music to his ears.
oooooo
It was noon now, and everyone was gone, except for team seven, whose jonin-sensei hadn't bothered to show up yet.
Naruto spent the first ten minutes after the announcement banging his head against the wall. After he had made a dent in it (the wall), he settled into acceptance and waited.
The blond had passed the two hour mark for which he had trained himself to be calm for. "Where the fucking hell is Kakashi? It's somewhat funny when it happens to someone else, but I am no longer amused!"
Sasuke looked at the loudmouth. "You know our sensei?"
"I know of him, I'm surprised you don't. He's not as legendary as the San-nin, but he's important for sure. Rumor is that he's extremely good, and pretty messed up in the head, although it expresses itself in benign ways. We're either very lucky to have him, or screwed."
"Why do you say that, Naruto?" Sakura asked. She didn't hold much of an opinion on Naruto lately, though she remembered how he used to annoy her constantly for dates when they were younger. After seeing his performance during the jutsu exam, she felt extremely lucky to be with both of the boys.
"Because I know he's never taken a genin team before, and I think I remember hearing him assigned teams in the past. That means he might have the power to keep us from being a team. On the other hand, old man Sarutobi confided to me that Kakashi hand picked Sasuke and I, so maybe he finally feels like teaching?"
Sasuke doubted anyone would handpick the dobe for anything, despite his massive chakra reserves. It wasn't that Naruto was bad… he did pretty well in some of the practical application tests. But despite his 'creative flair', the dobe performed below par on most of the mental aspects of ninja-dom. Still, if their sensei was that good, maybe he could get the loud fool to be impressive. Sasuke knew that with a sensei of that quality, he'd grow quickly, and maybe meet out revenge on his brother.
The three sat, waiting, before Naruto stood up and unsealed a bag of objects from a storage scroll in his pocket. The other two teens watched curiously (though Sasuke maintained an appearance of apathy) as the blond went to work trapping the auditorium doors, which he closed.
"That can't possibly work on a jonin, fool."
"We'll see. In the meantime, I'm going to take a nap."
oooooo
*Squeek-Toing-Virrrip-Splurch*
"…zzzZsnk- Huh? He finally show up?" Naruto asked, his pranking sense waking him up.
Sasuke and Sakura stared in surprise at the figure standing just within the doorway. Every layer of the blond's prank trap hit, from the eraser on the top of the door, to the elaborate wire trigger trap he'd placed. The jonin would have made an impressive sight if it weren't for the glitter stuck to his regulation armored-jacket via a splotch of paint.
The man looked at the room's inhabitants- two shocked teens, and a just awoken jinchuriki who was beginning to smile at his handiwork.
"Your doing, I take it?" He asked the blond. Getting a nod from all three teens, he replied, "Not a bad trap. You do realize I'm going to make your life even more of a hell than the other two now?"
Naruto smiled and nodded. "Yep. Totally worth it after waiting this long."
The man's visible eyebrow rose. "As long as we're on the same page. Everybody meet on the roof in five minutes!" The man disappeared.
The blond stood up and stretched. "Well you heard him. Let's go!" he shouted, hurrying out of the room.
Sakura shook her head. 'Did our sensei walk into that intentionally? Naruto couldn't have made a trap that could take out a jonin, right?' She pondered to herself before studying the setup of the trap closely. Their sensei had admitted it was effective, so she might as well try to remember it.
Sasuke watched the pink half of his dreaded duo study the trap. 'Interesting. Our teacher allowed himself to be humiliated. I admit it's a decent trap for something thrown together, but I watched his eyes as he walked in. He was never surprised. But why? To make us underestimate him? As an excuse to be biased against Naruto? Possibly, some people seem to hate him disproportionately to his antics.' Sasuke rolled the ideas around in his head as he hopped out the window and walked up to the roof.
Sakura finished her quick sketch in a notebook she kept on her and noticed she was alone. "Hey guys, wait for me!"
oooooo
The four ninja were on the roof of the academy staring at each other. Kakashi had apparently used the 5 minutes to wash off some of the mess, though he wasn't completely successful.
He broke the silence. "Alright, after 10 years the three of you no doubt know each other, but let's share something about ourselves so we can know each other as a team. I'll start. I'm Hatake Kakashi, one of Konoha's top jonin, and now sensei to you three rugrats. My likes are personal, though I'm sure you'll notice one quickly. My dislikes are likewise personal, some of which you'll discover as we go along. I have few hobbies besides being late to everything, and my goal is to bring the three of you to your full potential. None of you are old enough to hear my dreams yet; they get pretty freaky. Pinky, your turn."
Sakura frowned at the almost complete evasion their teacher had made. "Fine, I'm Haruno Sakura, fresh genin. I like um…" She looked at Sasuke, then away. "Anko dumplings, and my friend Ino when she isn't being impossible. I dislike spicy foods and my rival Ino when she is being impossible, my goal is to be a strong kunoichi, and my dreams are like most of sensei's info- private."
"Ugh, dealing with young girls always sucks. At least she seems to have matured to some degree, I don't want to imagine what she used to be like," Kakashi thought to himself. "Fine. Short, dark and brooding, your turn."
Sasuke glared at the man, who didn't seem to notice, then sighed and began. "I'm Uchiha Sasuke, fresh genin. I have few likes, and many dislikes. I have two goals, to restart the Uchiha clan, and become strong enough to make my dream come true, to kill a certain man."
Sakura looked at her crush with a confused look.
Kakashi snorted. "I'll give you a free piece of advice gaki. I was Itachi's commander in the ANBU for a few months before he was made a commander himself. You've got a hell of a way to go before you can dream of fighting him. My advice, give up your dream and focus on becoming the best for its own sake. Get good enough, and you'll be put on the team that finally ends him."
Sasuke frowned, angered at the way this man dismissed his dream so casually. He knew that he wasn't ready to challenge his brother yet; of course he had a long way to go! But to dismiss the possibility entirely?
Kakashi held back a sigh, he could read the kid like an open book. The boy was screwed up, hell, who wouldn't be after going through Tsukuyomi? Surprisingly however, Sasuke seemed better than the jonin had feared, the years of sessions with the psych-nin must have helped. He'd turn out all right with a little guidance. Sasuke would accept him as a superior as soon as he got the shit beat out of him. After that, he could mold the boy with the unwitting help of the other two.
The Cyclops turned his attention to Naruto. It had been a long time since he took 'Daidai' out on his birthday. "Mud, your turn."
Naruto looked around. "I think you're confused sensei, there's no one named mud here."
"I was being facetious, but after your prank I think I'll refer to you as mud, until you prove to be otherwise."
"Oh, you should have said; with your mask on a lot of contextual information is lost!" He paused as Sakura let out an amused snort. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, fresh genin. I like ramen, kage-bunshin, my friends, and awesome jutsu. I dislike people who act like jerks, people who aren't courteous enough to be punctual," he glared at Kakashi a moment for emphasis, "and ignorance, among other things. My goal is to be the strongest ninja in the world so I can protect my friends. I have a few dreams, but the one I'll share involves an Olympic size swimming pool and a different flavor of ramen filling said pool every day."
The others stared at him as if he was from another planet. "He's as unique as his profile warned he'd be. Well, I sort of knew what I was getting into," Kakashi thought.
"Well, now that we know each other, let me share with you some facts. While you did pass the exams, and I'm sure you feel special with your shiny new hitai-ate, you aren't actually genin until I officially approve you as my team. Every jonin-sensei has to make that decision, and different jonin decide different ways." He waited for the shock to set in and one of them to protest.
"What the hell? How is that fair? We've proved we have the right stuff, why do we get you, mister I've-never-passed-a-team?" demanded Naruto.
"Oh, you've heard that hmm? Well, I admit that I have rather high standards, but I'm sure that since you 'have the right stuff' you three will pass. Did you know Sakura? There was quite a lot of political pressure to have me pass the team automatically. Between Sasuke and Naruto, the third member of their team wouldn't have to do anything to slide by…" He grinned as her jaws tightened at the implied slight. "… Unfortunately for you three, I'm important enough to tell the council to fuck off. If I decide you three don't cut it, you go back to the academy for another year of extra training."
The three teens stood there, with varying levels of anger, shock, and uncertainty focused towards the man.
"Let's see, it's one thirty now? So, for my test, meet at training ground seven in one hour with a c-rank load-out. I wouldn't bother eating; you'll probably just throw it up. Plan on being gone until sundown. I'll tell you the rules when we get there. Oh, and this is one occasion when you can expect me to actually be on time. Later!" With that, the man disappeared.
"That smug asshole! Fine, we'll pass and make him train us. C'mon, let's get ready guys."
Feeling somewhat comradely now that they had a common enemy, the two other teens nodded and rushed off to prepare. Naruto grinned, "Mud huh? You might be the best thing since sliced bread, but you are going to regret that," the blond promised.
oooooo
Kakashi sat in front of the memorial stone, reading the latest Icha-Icha out loud to Obito. He was sure his old teammate appreciated it. He glanced at his watch, an expensive ruggedized version that had cost his earnings off an entire S-rank mission. He hid it under a sleeve, and most people would have guessed Kakashi had never owned a clock in his life. But that would be ignoring the fact that he was an extremely efficient ninja, and as such, needed to know the correct time at any given moment.
"Sorry Obito, I'll finish the story later, business awaits."
He hurried over to training ground seven to observe his potential students. The results were somewhat interesting. Naruto was eating a to-go container from Ichiraku's, Sakura appeared to be meditating, and Sasuke was stretching to prepare for the challenge. Feeling generous, Kakashi let the teen nearly finish his meal before speeding right in front of the boy. "Mud! You disobeyed my instructions!" The cyclops watched him jerk, a few noodles flying out of the carton onto the ground. "Did either of you eat?" he asked, seemingly furious, his head swiveling towards Sakura and Sasuke. Both of the teens were startled by his aggressive entrance; he sniffed before the could respond, "Hmm… Sasuke, you had soybean trail mix and… fresh tomatoes? And Sakura, a heavy salad hmm? What do you have to say for yourselves?"
Sasuke just glared, while Sakura blanched, caught by her sensei. Naruto decided he'd need to speak up. "First of all, wasn't it a suggestion, not an order? Second, you're not serious, right? I hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast, there was no way I wasn't eating something before I came. I imagine we all assumed your 'advice' was part of the test. I wouldn't want to be the student of someone stupid enough to have their students not eat before an important test anyway." He looked at the lost noodles on the ground longingly, before finishing his meal.
"Hmm. So, you can think for yourselves. That's good," Kakashi said, sounding intrigued. "You won't make it far skipping meals; as a ninja, you never know when you might get your next meal. And if you're afraid of throwing up, just hand in your head band now, before you make a fool of yourself."
The teens looked at him, unamused. "You got a point sensei?" Naruto asked as he tossed one disposable chopstick into the air, then threw the second one so they collided. Sasuke snorted as both sticks landed in the ramen-obsessed boy's golden hair.
"Yeah, we have passed the exams, sensei. We really do know what we're supposed to, though I could see Naruto's scoring might have thrown you off. I think he just tests poorly," Sakura frowned at the man, while Naruto started burning the container and sticks with a weak fire jutsu. "Most civilians can quote 'an army moves on its stomach'."
Kakashi shrugged, seemingly mollified, "You might be surprised at the level of competency for teams I've been given… Oh well, it's time for you three to pass my test. You each have until sundown to get one of the bells on my waist," the jonin flicked them, making them ring, "any way you can. Hell, I have the paperwork set up to make you chunin automatically if you manage to kill me." He smirked, and watched the teens' faces grow serious, before Sakura looked confused.
"Sensei, there's only two bells. How are we all supposed to get one?"
"Ah, glad you noticed. I asked for Naruto and Sasuke specifically. They threw you on because they have this fetish for the number three. But I'm a fair guy. Since I wanted two genin, I'll take the two best genin, whoever they are! Of course, that's assuming any of you can get a hold of one. That's not an easy task. Frankly, now that I've seen all of you, I'm kind of thinking about trading you in for another team."
If any of the three teens could use Amaterasu, there wouldn't be ashes left of the man. "Ah, this part is always fun," he thought.
Sakura interrupted the masked man's enjoyment, "I think you're lying. There's never been a fresh genin team that wasn't three genin and a jonin. You're trying to get us angry and sloppy."
"Yeah, there's some trick to this! Maybe like that story where the king threatens to cut the baby in half!" Naruto said, making a chopping motion.
"Hmm… they really are using their heads. Most teams I've tested don't stay focused enough to think it through."
"Although, I don't think a bell will work after you've chopped it…" the blond continued.
Kakashi resisted the urge to facepalm. "An interesting theory, but I should remind you that when I told you I can tell the council to fuck off, I wasn't exaggerating. I can take as many or few of you as I want, one of the perks of being as awesome as I am. If you have the chance, I highly recommend you try it. It's a lot of fun!"
He had done a decent job trying to piss them off and instilling doubt in their minds. Now to see what they would do… "Come at me with the intent to kill, or you won't stand a chance! Begin!"
Immediately all three teens vanished into the woods. The man smiled and took out his favorite literature. He read a few pages before he bent forward, almost in half, as a fuuma shuriken flew over him. He cocked his head and his visible eye widened, before he tucked his precious away. Sakura and Sasuke grew curious in the bushes as they watched him make some seals. What was he doing?
They found out as literally hundreds of kunai rained down over the area the jonin was in. Moments before he was turned into a pincushion though, he finished a jutsu and submerged into the ground. The kunai, and a few shuriken, didn't stop though; they covered the ground, most popping on impact, but a few sticking into the ground.
As soon as it was over, the silver haired jonin rose back up to the same spot he was in previously, and returned to reading his book.
"Huh, impressive work for a class clown, though it didn't work. Now it's my turn"' the Uchiha thought. The teen ran towards the jonin with impressive speed and started a taijutsu match with him. Well, sort of. The older man used one arm and occasionally a leg to parry and even counter the boy, though after a minute he was forced to put his book away again. Sasuke concentrated, never having had an opponent so skilled. It was a rush! Smiling, the teen turned it up a notch, making Kakashi use both arms.
Sasuke jumped back after Kakashi allowed himself to overextend a bit, and flashed through seals. "Goukakyu no jutsu!" A large ball of fire flew towards the jonin, who appeared quite surprised in the last moment Sasuke could see his face. There was an explosion, and the scent of burnt hair could be smelled.
"I got him? No way, it must be a trap!" He was proven right at the sight of log chunks at the center of the blast. Sasuke looked around, understandably nervous now that Kakashi had the element of surprise.
"Very good Princess, you didn't let your guard down," the familiar voice came from behind and below. Kakashi grabbed the teen's feet even as the boy jumped off, and pulled him down into the earth, leaving only his head exposed. "Not that it mattered."
Kakashi walked off a ways before concealing himself. Depending on the team dynamics, one of them might try rescuing Sasuke.
He kneeled in some brush, knowing that his students would have to come to him one way or another to win. He looked off to the side when he heard some careless footsteps. It seemed Sakura was looking for them, but seemed to have lost their position. Kakashi frowned at the noise she was making. "That's the problem with nerdy ninja, they don't have enough practice putting theory to practice!"
Kakashi grew tired of listening to her stumble around, and started reading. So it came as something as a shock when he looked up a few minutes later and noticed the telltale shimmer of genjutsu over the spot where Sasuke was. Noting that Sakura was still walking around to the right, he pretended to keep reading his book. Fluctuating the chakra flow to his eye, (a neat trick he had learned from using the sharingan) he hoped to break the genjutsu discreetly. Sure enough, Sakura appeared, digging the ground out from around Sasuke.
Kakashi sneezed and wiped his nose, surreptitiously popping his ears in the motion. The sound near Sasuke came back, as "Sakura's" footsteps in the distance were silenced.
"… So are you going to agree or not? If I make you invisible, you can easily grab the bells and give one to me."
"Why don't you make yourself invisible, take a bell, and leave me here?" Sasuke asked cautiously.
"Two reasons. It's much harder to cast the genjutsu on yourself and move simultaneously. I can cast it over a small area, which is simple, or on another person who is moving. I can cast it over myself, if I'm still, but if I try to sneak up on him, I'll lose concentration."
"Hnn. What's the other reason? Please don't give me that 'one true love' crap."
"Oh, that's right! Make it three reasons. The second reason is that I'm not that physically oriented. I need to have a teammate to complement my weaknesses. I'm choosing you over Naruto for the third reason."
Sasuke shuddered. "Maybe I want to be his only student. I could be his apprentice. Why should I give you a bell?"
Sakura stopped. "Just because I've planned our wedding out doesn't mean I won't leave you in this ditch," she warned. "You can probably get into another team easily if you fail here. Me though? I'm not stupid. I know I'm mostly brains. If you won't help me get on this team, I'll get Naruto to do it. You'll bounce right back I'm sure. Sorry honey, but how are we supposed to be together if I can't be a ninja?"
Sasuke looked at her, amazed at the hoops her mind was jumping through for that to make any sense. Were all his fangirls literally crazy? He had always assumed they were nuts, but this was freaky. "Are all of you girls psycho, or is it just you and Ino?" he asked, unable to stop his mouth.
Sakura blinked, then looked confused. "Huh? Oh, so are you going to agree or not?"
Now Sasuke was really confused, Sakura had just… changed. She was speaking slightly differently and her body was being held in the way it usually was at academy. Warily, he nodded.
Sakura smiled and started digging again.
"What do you think you're up to?" asked Kakashi, who had watched enough, as he rushed towards them, tossing a kunai at Sakura.
Sasuke shouted a warning as Sakura looked up, watching the kunai spin towards her, almost in slow motion. Sasuke saw her body tense up and freeze, before she started to move.
*Kunk*
Sakura fell on top of Sasuke.
oooooo
"I wonder how Sasuke and Sakura are doing? I know they probably can't beat him unless he wants them to, but I'm still running a risk waiting until this area is trapped. Hey, you! Go see what's going on!" Naruto shouted at a clone. The army of Naruclones was filling the entire area with enough traps to stop an invasion force. True, they were shadow traps, made from parts copied along with the blond, but that wouldn't stop them from hurting. In some ways, they were superior; in a few hours they would disappear without needing to be discharged- unlike real traps. The academy had taught about certain areas of the nations that were still trapped so densely from the third war that no one sane would move through them.
The clone snapped a mocking salute before heading off towards the last place a Naruto had seen them.
"Soon, Kakashi… soon you will be in my kill field! Then we shall see who is mud!" The blond laughed, rubbing his hands together. A few clones nearby rolled their eyes, then mimed holding up a scorecard.
"Six."
"Four and a half."
"Two."
"Nine." The clones looked at this one. "What? I'm a sucker for a campy large ham."
Naruto Prime looked unamused. "Back to work, we have a jonin to beat!"
oooooo
Sasuke was panicking.
"Are you crazy? What kind of jonin uses a kunai against a genin? Is she alright? Get me out, we need to get her to a doctor!"
"Maa, calm down. Weren't you afraid she was going to wear your skin as clothing a few seconds ago?"
"She may be crazy, but you didn't need to kill her, you madman!"
"Sasuke, calm down. I hit her head with the ring end of the kunai."
"You're kidding, right? I can feel her bleeding on me! You expect me to believe you planned for her to freeze, and threw the kunai to hit her bluntly?"
"Head wounds bleed a lot; I didn't plan for her to freeze, but I did make sure that the blunt end would hit her in case she did. I've seen genin freeze up before, but something else is going on. You noticed it too, didn't you?"
"Something weird is going on with her, but I don't understand what. Are you sure you hit her with the ring?"
Kakashi lifted Sakura off the boy and laid her next to him. "She's fine. Her skin split open a bit on her scalp, but she'll be able to fight again before you can dig yourself out of that hole. I'm more interested in the way she acted right beforehand. She thinks she's in love with you, right? But she was going to leave you there if you didn't help her. Not typical fangirl behavior. Hmm… I guess all three of you are 'interesting'."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're the only heir to a powerful, nearly extinct clan. Sakura has… well, I'm just guessing until I can get her looked at, but she is definitely odd. And of course, there is Naruto. Do you know why he has such massive chakra reserves?"
Sasuke shook his head.
"Well, maybe you'll find out some day. It seems Naruto is about to try for the bells again. I wonder what took him so long… I'm going to free one of your arms so you can dig out, okay? You should have some chance, I suppose."
Sasuke frowned at the reminder of the test; in his worry over Sakura, he had lost focus.
Kakashi flipped a few hand seals out of Sasuke's line of sight, then stuck his hand through the ground and fished the teen's arm up.
Just in time for the jonin to dodge a dozen shadow shuriken.
Sasuke watched thirty Naruclones approaching with kunai and shuriken in hand. He was quite surprised at the number, despite being reminded of the blond's reserves several times over the last few days. Everyone at the academy knew Naruto could make special bunshin; the class clown had used their unique qualities to great comedic effect until all the sensei and students had gotten used to them. But only a couple at a time, the teachers had made it clear that it took a ton of chakra to make a solid bunshin.
"Hey Hatake-sensei! It's my turn to get a bell!"
"You certainly are skilled at kage-bunshin Mud-kun. I may actually break a sweat."
"Thanks, you could say it's my specialty! I hope you're ready!"
And then the second and third groups of thirty Naruclones appeared…
oooooo
Kakashi was beginning to get annoyed. To be honest, the jonin found it kind of fun at first. He had been battling a flood of clones for some time now. Individually they were useless against him, but they acted fairly coordinated with each other. Of course, only so many could fight him at once without getting in the way of each other, but Naruto obviously had some experience using this strategy. Kakashi did have to keep his wits up, as the clones tried all sorts of ways to snatch away the bells.
The thing was… there always seemed to be a replacement for each clone he popped, and they were starting to fight defensively, so he was popping them less often than he would like. While he could easily destroy them all if he went all out, his pride, and the fact that one of them might be the real munchkin, kept him from doing so.
The clones had been trying to distract him constantly, but they grew silent when one shouted, "It's three o'clock, can you keep this up for five more hours? I can."
The jonin frowned, and upped his game for a few seconds, dodging the clones around him and punching the outspoken teen, who unsurprisingly popped.
Suddenly he realized why the Naruclones had been herding him in a direction, as he triggered a trap. Jumping away, he was startled as he realized that there was a trap here too. Deflecting the single flung kunai the second trap activated into an attacking clone, he looked around seriously. This entire area was covered in nearly chunin grade traps.
Continuing to not hold back, he grabbed the nearest clone, tossing it into a snare. Not finished, he threw several kunai he had grabbed from the poor clone's pouch into various trip wires. He watched the remaining clones dodge around as the traps went off with looks of incredulity on their faces. "Yes Naruto, I'm just that good."
While the hoard was distracted, he scooped up some pebbles and twigs off the ground and went about tossing them at the other traps he could see. Now triggered, various harmful mechanisms went off, causing the clones to continue dodging. Deciding he wanted a break for a few minutes, the elite jonin tossed shuriken at all of the remaining clones, making sure that none of the hits would be fatal if one of them turned out to be the real Naruto.
Now that he had some peace, he could stretch out his senses. Kakashi felt that there was one clone left hiding to his left, but that otherwise he was alone. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed slightly, and waited for the next attempt.
The remaining clone noted with satisfaction that Kakashi did not return to reading his book.
oooooo
As all this was happening, Naruto Prime was standing over his two teammates.
"I don't suppose you'd help dig me out, would you?" Sasuke asked, slightly annoyed at having to ask for help.
"Sure, in a moment. What's wrong with Sakura?"
"I'm not sure anyone knows," the Uchiha replied, half serious.
"Hah, good one! Seriously though, what happened to her?"
"Kakashi hit her with the ring end of a kunai. You might be able to wake her up. Be careful though, she was acting odd before she got knocked out."
Naruto picked up a stick and started poking the girl.
"That's not exactly what I meant, dobe."
"Shut up, I know better than to wake a sleeping ninja normally. If you aren't careful they'll-" He was interrupted by a loud snap.
"Why in hell are you poking me with a stick, Naruto?"
"Because you might have done the same thing to my finger if I poked you with that."
Sasuke interrupted. "Are you feeling alright Sakura? You were behaving oddly before Kakashi knocked you out."
"Aww, thanks for caring Sasuke. Wait, what do you mean I 'acted oddly'?"
Sasuke described some of the things he had noticed, as Sakura grew unhappier.
"So does this mean you know what he's talking about?" Naruto asked curiously.
"Yes. Damn it, I could have sworn we had gotten rid of it this time! Did… sensei notice?"
"I think he had a better idea than I did about what was happening," Sasuke answered.
Sakura wilted. She didn't seem to want to share, a feeling both boys were familiar with.
Naruto patted her shoulder, "Hey, cheer up! I've got a plan to get us the bells! None of us can beat him separately, right?" The others nodded unhappily.
He continued, "Kakashi is too good for any one of us to beat, or even slip away with a bell. The only way we're passing is if we team up on his ass. I've got him distracted right now. What we'll do, if you two will agree, is to confuse him with henge and shadow clones. Sasuke is the best of us in melee by far, so he'll henge into either Sakura or me. I'll have my clones henge into Sakura or Sasuke, or leave them as me. Sakura, you know a few genjutsu right?"
The girl nodded, finding the plan sound so far.
"You'll be standing off, casting genjutsu and supporting us with projectiles. Sasuke, are you going to help us win?"
Sasuke grunted. "Fine, but who passes?"
"We'll play rock paper scissors to see who gets the bells. Two-thirds chance is better than no chance, right?"
Sakura looked more cheerful. "That's assuming he isn't lying. I still think he needs three genin for a team."
"That makes sense. Frankly, while he may be a genius, he's going to be an annoying sensei, I'm not sure I even want to be under him," Naruto groused. "So, are we agreed?"
"Yes, as soon as someone gets me out of the ground! I've only been in here for over half an hour or so…" Sasuke griped, waving his free arm for emphasis.
Sakura started to dig again before Naruto pulled her away and made a shadow clone. It swapped itself with Sasuke, before popping, leaving a hole in the ground.
"Come on, he's over there, we'll talk tactics on the way," the blond said, already moving.
oooooo
Naruto walked out into the clearing that the silver haired jonin had returned to reading his book in. "Hey, sensei!"
"Hello, Mud. You do realize ninja specialize in stealth, don't you?"
"Really? Huh, you could have fooled me. Maybe more of that happens in ANBU, but most ninja I've seen are talkative, and jutsu are loud and flashy. But that's beside the point. You see, I've realized there's no way we can beat you. I mean, you're a jonin for goodness sake!"
"Oh? From what I've gathered, you're not one to give up so easily, if ever."
"Very true! So instead of trying to get the bells, I've decided to cheat!" With that, the unconventional ninja withdrew a book from his pocket. "This is a signed, advance copy of your favorite erotic literature I managed to wheedle away from Gramps. If you officially accept our team, I'm willing to give you this rare piece of art. What do you say?"
"Very Cunning! I'd say you deserve to become a genin with a mind like that. Unfortunately for you, I won't let myself be bribed. Even for so tasty a morsel as that. Not to mention, it's probably a shadow duplicate."
"Well, yes," Naruto shrugged, with a wave, "but I do have the original. Oh well, fair enough, I didn't really expect it to work. That's why there's part two of my plan."
"You shouldn't tell your enemies that you are implementing a plan, it lowers the chances of it working."
"Ah, but I can afford such melodrama, as you really can't stop it!" The jinchuriki opened the first page and began reading. "It was a warm night in Karakura town. Ichigo had just finished his training and was covered in swea-," the boy popped as his teacher's fist connected with him.
"Clever Naruto, very clever."
"Thanks! Does this mean I'm not Mud anymore?" the voice came from the right of the man, who quickly turned to face it. "But as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted; Ichigo was covered in sweat. 'Ichigo, I've been in a physical body for some time now,' Rukia said, 'I'm beginning to get certain… urges… that come from gigai body use.'"
Kakashi rushed through the foliage towards the origin of the voice, but it seemed to be keeping ahead of him. He stopped suddenly, but the voice continued moving away for a moment, before coming to a rest. Plugging his ears shut with his fingers, the man concentrated on detecting the brat's chakra. His visible eye widened as he realized what was going on. Naruto had seeded the forest with a few dozen shadow clones; all of which were capable of using the Wind Whisper technique Naruto had performed on Iruka days ago. Amused at the blond's ingenuity, he quickly grabbed earplugs out of a pocket on his vest and put them in.
The annoyingly capable teen appeared in front of him again and mouthed slowly, making sure his lips were read, "Really, you keep earplugs on you? What happens if I start writing on posters?"
"I guess you'll find out how good I am at blind-fighting, Naruto-kun. A tip, though, I won't pull my punches if you go that far," Kakashi replied.
By this point Kakashi had grown accustomed to assuming any Naruto he saw was a clone by default. So when it nodded and grinned, he felt he had stayed still too long. Dashing sideways, the jonin got a bit of pleasure out of watching a cloud of kunai fly into the surprised clone.
Kakashi turned around to see… no opponents. He stretched out his senses, and was pleasantly surprised to feel all three of his students together nearby. Waiting for them to show themselves, he rolled his eyes when he felt another twenty clones get created. The whole lot of them were staying just out of visible range, and circling around him.
Suddenly, Sasuke and Naruto blasted out of the foliage into melee range. Kakashi was happy to see that Sasuke had kept his speed down to allow the blond to synchronize their attacks. Deciding to fight at almost full power, Kakashi met the duo, preparing to stun Sasuke first. Since he was the more dangerous hand-to-hand fighter, he was higher priority. Striking the Uchiha's solar plexus, Kakashi was genuinely surprised when it popped, and his hand kept going. 'Naruto' took full advantage, starting a combo of hits landing on Kakashi's torso that the Copy-Nin recognized instantly as taijutsu of Uchiha origin. Taking the blows and canceling a genjutsu he felt wash over him, he kicked backwards to pop a Naruclone that had been hidden by the illusion before it could grab a bell. Then he was able to start countering the real Sasuke. But before he could make a decisive strike, another Naruclone force-replaced the teen.
'Well crap, they could take out a special jonin like this with a little luck!' the man thought. He unplugged his ears to regain his hearing.
"Oh Ichigo!"
And immediately re-plugged them.
Another wave came at him, this time with all three students charging. However, the three were coming too fast for Sakura to actually be one of them. Tossing two shuriken to stagger their pace, the jonin got a gut full of fist when his strike passed through an illusory Naruto (courtesy of Sakura) and the real deal hit him under a henge of Sakura. Contorting himself to keep his hip out of the way of Sasuke's grasp, the jonin slammed his hand into Naruto's ear before he shunshin-ed away.
oooooo
"Fuck that hurts! I can't hear anything in this ear, and I'm dizzy!"
"That is what happens after an ear strike, Naruto. While I know a basic medical jutsu, I don't think I should try it on anything as delicate as the ear," Sakura apologized.
"It's all right, I'll be fine in an hour or two, maybe less."
"Wait, are you saying you heal fast on top of having gigantic chakra reserves?" Sasuke asked, slightly jealous.
"Kinda, but if you knew what I had to put up with because of it, you wouldn't want it. Anyway, we won, we just need to let our official new sensei know he's stuck with us."
"What? When did you grab them? He still had two bells when he bamfed away," Sakura confusedly asked.
"Wait and see, we just have to find him."
The three teens jumped as Kakashi picked that moment to reappear. "Congratulations! You pass!"
Sasuke and Sakura turned to a confused Naruto. "Huh, how did you know I got the bells?"
"You got the bells? I didn't hit you that hard, Naruto. The bells are still where I put the-" he stopped as the blond held up a pair of bells. Feeling around for chakra, the jonin grabbed the bells at his waist and threw them away as they turned into a pile of Naruclones.
"Impressive. Very impressive, Naruto. But the bells have nothing to do with actually passing my test. Under normal circumstances, it is impossible for academy graduates to get a bell from me. What you did… well, I guess I'm glad most genin can't make kage-bunshin."
"Um, so then how did we pass?" Sakura asked. The boys nodded, curious as well.
"Well, you three managed to do a few things. This test wasn't about the skill required to get a bell, but about using teamwork. I intentionally pitted you against one another by only using two bells. By not only teaming up despite that, but also working well enough together that I instinctively used shunshin, you proved that you three have what it takes to make a team. As long as you are part of my team, your teammates are more important than anything, including the objective and the rules. Unless you're on an S-class mission, all things are secondary to the survival of your teammates!"
The three teens looked at each other and smiled before letting out cheers.
"Geez," Naruto commented smiling, "I was all ready to go back to the academy and try and get a hot kunoichi sensei next time. I can tell you're going to be a hardass, sensei, messing with us like that."
Still smiling, the new leader of team seven threw a pebble into the blonde's kidney. "In time you'll come to appreciate my teaching style," he said, watching Naruto hold his side in pain. "Meanwhile, for celebration I'm taking you all to my favorite place to eat- my treat. Don't get used to it though, I'm usually fairly anti-social. Meet me at the corner of Water Lilly and Hyacinth in an hour so we can clean up first." With that, he disappeared.
The teens looked at each other and nodded, before running home to prepare.
They were now genin!
oooooo
Sakura had to rush to get to the appointed meeting spot on time, as she had gotten pretty dirty and wanted to look nice in the restaurant Kakashi was taking them to. She had needed to get directions from her mother, as she didn't know either of the streets he had given them. Confused at her mother's reaction to the street names, she figured it would become clear when she got there. As the girl got closer to her destination, she began to understand her mother's hesitance to give directions. This part of town was pretty nasty, and several times Sakura checked the street signs to make sure she hadn't got turned around.
At last she made it to the designated intersection. She wasn't impressed. There were three bars and what appeared to be a striptease joint on the corners.
"Sensei can't have meant here, I must have misheard him."
"No, I'm pretty sure we're at the right place," came an amused, familiar voice.
She turned to see Naruto leaning on a street lamp opposite Sasuke. They both looked pretty hot, fresh from showers and fixed up some. Naruto apparently didn't fully understand how to dress up for dinner, but he looked much better than he did in class. Sasuke had done better, though she guessed he was in a similar boat as Naruto, though obviously her crush was orphaned much later in life.
Shaking her head clear of the thoughts, she walked over to the pair and sat down on a fire hydrant.
"If he tries to take us into the strip joint, I'll make it my life's mission to make him a eunuch," the girl warned. The boys chuckled, and Sasuke checked a cheap watch.
"Not to worry," Kakashi called out, startling them all, "the Mons Venus is quite fun, but I don't care for the food. No, we're going to the Bunch of Grapes." The jonin pointed to one of the ratty looking pubs. "If you ever need me, and I'm not at my apartment, you can find me, or someone who can give me a message, at the Mended Drum." This time he pointed at the even worse looking pub on the opposite corner. "But don't go in there unless you really need me. You're not invited to the Mended Drum until you're a jonin. I'm bending the rules a lot by taking you to the Bunch of Grapes as it is. Oh, the Bucket over there is where chunin hang out."
He led them into the Bunch of Grapes, watching the teens' expressions as they passed the shabby entrance and saw the pleasant interior. There were a bunch of older genin and a few chunin having drinks and eating pub food. There were a dozen dart boards on a wall, with some genin throwing at them from the other side of the room. A few pool tables were also in use. Everyone looked up at the teens, and it looked like there was going to be a problem, until the patrons realized who was standing behind the young ninja. The bartender, who was fulfilling the stereotype by cleaning a glass, was in his fifties and missing two fingers on his left hand.
"Is that Kakashi and a team of fresh meat? Huh, I never thought you'd take one on. Are these brats special or something?"
"Hey, Shoshi. Yeah, they were able to pass my test. I guess that makes them fairly special, doesn't it? Give us all today's special, on my tab. No ramen Naruto, sorry, I think you'll like it anyway. Since it's a special occasion, do any of you want a saucer of sake for celebration?"
The three teens shook their heads, and a few of the patrons chuckled.
"Fair enough, let's sit over there, and talk about your new schedule."
The four ninja walked over to a booth, and slid in. Sasuke made sure that he didn't end up next to Sakura, to her disappointment. A saucer and a small, wax-sealed bottle of sake was tossed across the room to Kakashi, who set them down and started to explain what he expected of his new students.
"As you've heard, you are my first team of genin. That doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing. Tell me about your daily physical regimen."
The teens took turns telling him their routines, though Sakura was rather embarrassed when it was her turn after listening to the boys.
"You've obviously realized that your current training won't cut it, Sakura. While I don't expect you to start doing the same training as Naruto or Sasuke overnight, you do need to step it up. I'll give you a plan tomorrow when we meet. You might need to eat bigger meals to make up for the increased exercise. Thank Kami the Academy gave you all good lunches. You should all gather at 7:00 am tomorrow at training ground seven. I'll tell you now that I won't be there until at least eight, but while you get to choose when to show up, I'll be unhappy if you waste the hour plus. Now Sasuke, you're obviously fire aligned, but do you have a secondary affinity?"
The four discussed the broad outlines of where he wanted to take them until the food showed up. The students were surprised to get dishes that appeared sort of like sandwiches. That would be odd enough, as they were something you saw occasionally, but weren't very popular in Konoha. But these looked different. Sakura was the first to try a bite, and her eyes lit up. "Wow, what is this? It's really good." The two boys shrugged, and tucked in as well.
"It's called a gyro, and it's just one of the many foreign foods you can get here," Kakashi said between bites. They were all hungry after the intense test. He continued, "This place and the others I mentioned are sort of unofficial ninja bars. They're not the only ones, but this intersection is where most of the movers and shakers gather. Since ninja get sent abroad, a lot of us pick up tastes for foreign food. Places like this are where you can get your food fix, start a friendly brawl, or knock a few back. Since I've led you here, no one should give you a tough time if you want to come back on your own. I suggest looking at the menu some time, the food here is great, if a little greasy."
"Heh, secret ninja hangouts, sort of corny, but I admit this is good food. Not ramen of course, but oh well," Naruto joked.
"So glad you approve, Mud," Kakashi said, taking another bite.
"Aw, sensei, not with the Mud again, I thought we were over that."
"I reserve the right to call the three of you whatever I wish. You don't insult the food here, and I'll try to remember your name. If you're lucky, I won't make it your call sign during missions. Hmm, Mud, Princess, and Bubblegum."
"I have a feeling Bubblegum is a reference to pink, which would make me Princess. That means I have a new temporary dream- taking up Bubblegum's mission of making you a eunuch," Sasuke said with a hint of a grin.
"Simmer down kids, I'm only ruffling your feathers. We can come up with embarrassing call signs for one another tomorrow. Let's eat for now, and we can talk more afterwards."
This met grunts of agreement.
oooooo
Sakura swallowed her last fried potato slice, which the teens had ordered for dessert despite protests from Kakashi that it didn't actually qualify as such. Nonetheless, they had quite enjoyed them, Naruto going so far as to wonder if he could make them a ramen topping.
"Back to brass tacks, physical exercise is almost always done on your own time. During team time you'll either be doing teamwork exercises, situational exercises, have one on one personal instruction from me, the occasional spar, or be doing missions. Now I'm sure you're all excited to be rid of stupid D-rank missions from your Academy days. I'm afraid you aren't done with them quite yet though."
Naruto squashed the impulse to shout to the heavens about the unfairness of this, etc. etc., and instead let out a whine. "The instructors told us we'd have C-ranks when we became genin, we've been doing D-ranks since we were eleven and twelve!"
A few of the patrons smiled in remembrance of being told this news. It was much funnier to hear it happen to someone else.
"Quite true Naruto, that's why fresh genin take at least 20 D-plus-ranks. They aren't quite C-ranks, but you'll find them much tougher than regular D-ranks."
Team seven looked at one another, silently asking if any of them knew what he was talking about. "What type of jobs are D-plus-rank missions?" Sakura asked.
"Well, they're the same as regular D-ranks, but instead of a chunin sensei to help you if you have problems, you get a jonin sensei to help make problems!" the man explained cheerfully.
The teens face-palmed. "You're making that up aren't you?" Naruto demanded.
"Hey fellas, anyone in here not have to do 20 D-plus-ranks before they were allowed to do C-ranks?"
Everyone groaned, "Ugh, Kami, them. You think D-ranks are bad; you'll hate D-pluses. Our sensei made us do them for a month before she was satisfied," complained a chunin.
"See? If you impress me, I'll only make you do the minimum. Otherwise, I've never had the chance to do them as the leader, and I've been told it's quite fun. At least if you're the jonin."
"I knew you were going to be an annoying sensei," Naruto complained.
"If you keep up that attitude, I won't buy you dinner any more! Anyway, good night. You don't have to go home but you can't stay with me. I feel like going next door, and they check I.D.s and for henges."
"Ugh, men," Sakura rolled her eyes, failing to notice Sasuke's brief look of disappointment.
Naruto stood up and poofed into a well-endowed woman in a very tight top. "Do you think they'd check me for henge if I looked like this, and bounced on my heels a little?"
Almost every head in the room turned to face the pseudo-bimbo. "You can go through the back entrance looking like that!" a patron shouted.
"Anyone know what it pays? I could get a shadow clone to do it, it would be good practice for infiltration work," the boy said with a straight face.
He and the crowd traded a few jabs, all in good sport.
"Maybe my teammates can join me. I've heard Princess here wants to restart his clan. I'm sure he'll need some practice." Naruto replied to another witticism a publican supplied.
Sakura watched Sasuke's face turn from a smile to a rather cute grumpy face. "Don't say stupid things like that dobe! Hnn, I'm going home."
"Right, Naruto can be a silly without us here," Sakura agreed, getting up. "Thanks for dinner Kaka…shi?"
Their sensei was already gone though. Sasuke was leaving as well, and the newly minted Bubblegum hurried to catch up with him. Naruto stuck around for a while, it was great to meet new people who seemed to really like him. Eventually though, he knew he needed to get home to bed.
oooooo
Kakashi was not watching strippers, much to his disappointment; he was at the meeting with the other jonin talking to the Hokage about the genin. For the first time, he was able to confirm his team.
It left him feeling surprisingly good.
OOOOOO
End Chapter the Second