Back with another chapter! So, one of the reviewers said I should make a chapter for each greaser being bashed. Thanks for the idea, 'cause I'm gonna do that! Drop me a review ;)

Just Gotta Vent

Murtha: Alright, well, we're back after that extremely lengthy commercial break! I'll turn the conversation over to you boys.

Two-Bit: *inhales sharply* Again with the 'boys'…

Steve: Shut up, Two-Bit!

Dally: He's the most annoyin' person alive.

Darry: *nonchalantly turns head* I dunno about that.

Dally: *looks at Murtha matter-of-factly* I'm gonna kill him.

Murtha: Okay, okay…no need for such acts of violence. Since we're on the topic of Two-Bit, tell me, what is the most annoying thing about him?

Dally: His face. *snickers*

Two-Bit: Your mom!

Dally: What?

Darry: That's his most annoying aspect! He answers everything with "Your mom"!

Two-Bit: That…that is a falsehood!

Ponyboy: Falsehood…?

Darry: No its not! Just the other day, I asked him if he wanted maple syrup on his pancakes and he said, "Your mom!"

Dally: Yeah, and last week, I told him I'd either flush his head down the toilet of push him off the roof and he chooses, "Your mom!" That's not an option! It's either death by toilet or death by gravity!

Murtha: Wow. It sounds like Two-Bit has a real…problem. I have a question. What does Two-Bit do before eating?

Dally: It's always the same: he gets high. Especially before eatin' cauliflower.

Two-Bit: No! I don't get drunk before eating grapefruits!

Dally: *sarcasm* Oh, pardon me!

Ponyboy: He even gets drunk before taking a bath. It's really disturbing.

Johnny: He locks himself in the bathroom for hours, too.

Murtha: Uh…why?

Dally: Why does he lock himself in the bathroom or why does a grown man take baths?

Murtha: A little bit of both.

Two-Bit: I love the way your fingers get all prune-y. You just don't get that same texture in the shower.

Darry: That's not weird.

Two-Bit: As for the other question, I feel uncomfortable answering it.

Dally: Oh, c'mon! I just found out Darry's been jealous of my hair for years! I can take anythin'!

Two-Bit: *mumbles something inaudible*

All: What?

Two-Bit: I'M DOING MY NAILS, OKAY?

Soda: I knew he was never a guy…

Two-Bit: I am a guy! And I feel it's necessary for a real man to buff and paint a coat of clear polish on his nails!

Dally: *straightly* Well, you feel wrong.

Two-Bit: I've always wanted to be a manicurist since I was young! *begging for acceptance* I can't help my passion!

Murtha: It's…it's okay, Two-Bit. Let's move on. Now, it seems he loves Mickey Mouse, doesn't he? What do you boys have to say on the subject?

Dally: *grimly* I want Walt Disney dead or alive…

Darry: He has a Mickey Mouse shrine in his bedroom. I avoid his house altogether, but once I had to drop off some buttermilk for his mother, and I saw his creepy room. There was this one stuffed doll in particular that still keeps me up in the dead of night.

Ponyboy: Buttermilk…?

Murtha: *biting nails* What…was the doll, Darry?

Darry: *whispers dramatically* Michael Jackson Mickey.

Soda: That thing's foul. Especially since he dropped it down a sewage pipe on the way to our house once.

Dally: Last month he brought over Rodeo Mickey, which is all white now 'cause he bleached it. So he comes over to me and goes, "Dally, it's you when you jockey!" I-I flattened him.

Two-Bit: Yeah, my kidneys have been feeling a little one-dimensional lately.

Murtha: Oh, well, thank you for that...mentally traumatizing story. It seems I've bitten my nails to stubs.

Two-Bit: *hands her his business card* Call me.