Second and last chapter, at least for now.
Disclaimer:
Everything, that in some way sound like JK Rowling (characters, plot, dialogues, etc.) belongs to her.
The mistakes (spelling, grammar, whatever) are mine, though. So, if you find some which escaped me, please send them back. I'll care for them.
Suffer for my sins
Chapter 2 – Penance
Severus grabbed his shirt and left into the corridor. There, out of side of his father, he leaned against the wall for support. Then he stumbled down the stairs into the cellar.
The room looked exactly as he remembered it. The last light of the setting sun shone through the window near the ceiling. His thin and old mattress sat in the corner opposite the door. A moth-eaten blanket lay untidily on top of it. It had never been big enough to cover him completely, but now, after Severus had grown quite a lot, it was definitely too small for him.
With an exhausted sigh he sat down on his so-called bed. It had been a long day and he was getting tired. But his back was throbbing like hell. It would take him some time to fall asleep. Nevertheless he lay down on his stomach.
The cold was starting to creep into his bones. Though Severus was shivering, he didn't pull the blanket over himself. First, it wouldn't help much anyway. Second, his back was still wet with blood and it would be very painful to remove it tomorrow. And third, there was a chance he would catch a cold which might end his miserable life.
After long and restless hours in the freezing air Severus finally fell into an uneasy sleep.
Suddenly he woke up again. Something wet had made contact with his sore skin. He flinched away, out of habit. And cursed himself for his carelessness. He should have noticed someone coming into the room.
"I'm sorry, dear." The voice of his mother. What was she doing? Did she tend to his wounds? Why? She wasn't able to heal them anyway. Apart from that he was not worthy of this treatment.
"Leave me alone!", Severus hissed at her, a venom in his voice he immediately regretted. She only wanted to help him. Why did he always have to hurt the ones who cared about him?
"Don't feel sorry for me. I deserve this", he added and pushed himself into a sitting position, ignoring the ache in his back. Eileen silently looked at him, slightly shocked.
"Why do you say such a thing? You do not deserve that!", she tried to convince him. Severus lowered his head, he felt ashamed for this.
"I messed it up. I insulted Lily, called her a mudblood. It was in anger, but still. I shouldn't have done it and now I have to pay. I deserve this", he told his mother. Her look changed into sadness. She reached out for his hand, but he flinched back. Now tears sprang into her eyes.
"Oh, my dear son. Don't burden yourself with this. Surely she can forgive you", she said, a soft tone in her voice.
"She won't. I did apologize to her, but she wouldn't listen. And how could I blame her? Not after that." Severus didn't know why he told her at all. She had enough problems of her own, he had no right to burden her with his as well.
"That does not necessarily mean she will never forgive you. You two are still young. You make mistakes, and that's important. You learn from them. Lily will realize this, sooner or later." Eileen obviously wanted to cheer him up. But her words didn't do their purpose.
"Lily will not forgive me", he repeated. "She made that perfectly clear." He really couldn't blame her. Who ever wanted to be friends with him? How could he have been so foolish to believe that their friendship would last forever? Spinner's End was known to bring up people no one in his right mind wanted to socialize with. And speaking of that...
"WOMAN! What are you doing down there so long?!" There was no better example than Tobias Snape. Constantly drunk, jobless, abusive and hating everything what wasn't alcohol. The typical image of the people living in this part of Cokeworth.
"I'm sorry, dear, but I guess I have to go again. Get some more rest and let these injuries heal. And please, try to stay away from him as good as you can." Eileen cast gave him a short smile, then got up and left the room.
Severus stared at the closed door. No, he would not hide from his father any longer. He would not allow his father to hurt his mother when he could do something about it. He would try to protect her, and if he died doing so. She was the only one left who cared about him. Severus could not bear to loose her as well.
He got up and pulled on the shirt. He winced as it touched his sore back. Well, he'd better get used to that, it wouldn't change until he was back at Hogwarts. Severus sighed at this thought. Two months he would stay here. Two months to pay for his sins. And people actually called that holidays.
Severus followed his mother upstairs. His father was sitting in the living room watching some sport on TV, as usual, some beer bottles standing on a small table beside him, usual as well. Eileen was not in the room. Probably she was in the kitchen, looking for something to eat what wasn't already half-rotten.
He passed the living room towards the tiny kitchen. On his way he shot an angry glare at his father's back. After all these years he still couldn't figure out why the man wasted the little money they had on alcohol rather than proper food.
His mother was indeed preparing a small breakfast. She had found an old piece of hard bread and a bit of cheese, which horribly smelled like it was really gone off.
"Ah, my dear", she said in a low voice, not wanting to draw her husband's attention on them. "Breakfast's just ready. You can eat some if you like. I'm sorry it's nothing better, but..." She left the last part of the sentence unspoken. Both knew that there was not enough money for more.
"I'm not hungry anyway." Actually he was hungry. But he would never be able to eat as much as back at Hogwarts. He'd better get used to that feeling as well.
Eileen nodded slowly, then reached out for the plate to bring it into the living room. But Severus was faster. He grabbed it from right beneath her hand.
"No, mother, I'll do that. You need some rest." Not a beating so early in the morning, stood unspoken between them. She nodded again before he quickly turned around and walked back towards his father.
He slammed the plate hard onto the table, making the cheese almost fall to the dirty floor and the empty bottles wobble. When his father looked up at him, slightly confused, he received a glare from his son so deadly his fellow Slytherins would be jealous.
"What's this about? What makes you think you can behave like this?", his father snarled at him.
For the first time Severus decided to provoke him. Instead of an apology, or any other kind of answer, he just pressed his lips tightly together and narrowed his eyes. If looks alone could kill, the man would really be dead now.
"It's not my fault your useless freak of a mother cannot make something better!", he spat, finally figuring out what his son was so angry about.
"Oh yes, it is your fault! Who else drinks away all the money?!", Severus shot back immediately, letting out what he had held down his entire life.
"You dare talk back?!", he growled, rising from his seat. This was one of the rules his father had wanted to remind him of yesterday. It wasn't that he had forgotten it, he just didn't care right now.
"You dare insult my mother in front of me?!"
"If you want a beating, you can have one!" You have no idea how right you are about this. Severus suppressed a smirk about the irony of his thoughts.
"Get down and take off your shirt." His father undid his belt while Severus followed the order, not without glaring at the man.
"I thought you'd learned the rules already." And with this the belt came down on his battered skin. His back screamed in agony, but Severus remained silent. Though he wanted to be punished, a scream was not among his options to achieve this. Too painful was the memory of this one beating about ten years ago.
The first stroke alone was enough to reopen half of his wounds and set his skin on fire. The second wasn't any better. And, of course, it didn't stop after that. Blows rained down on his back, blood trickled to the floor. Severus winced as the belt hit his neck. He already had a scar there from last year's welcome.
About twenty lashes later his father was done with him, for now. With a kick to the side he signalled his son to get out of his sight. Severus got up and put on his shirt again. Normally he would have gone to the clearing now, met with Lily and rid his mind off thoughts about his home life.
Not today, though. Lily wouldn't be there. And even if, she wouldn't want to see him. Besides, he still had to suffer for his sin.
Therefore he would stay in his room. Until one of them felt like a beating.
Oops, again longer than I intended it to be. Well, I guess I'm just a naturally cruel and evil person and therefore can't write a chapter in which Sev is not suffering. Poor boy. If I should ever meet him, take him away from me as fast as you can!
And please, don't forget the reviews!