Episode 2: The First Adventure
A/N: In order to tell the full story of most of the episodes now there will be perspective changes, usually from Dipper to third person limited. Enjoy episode 2!
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I fiddled and pressed the snooze button on my phone.
"Ughhhh…" I groaned, rubbing the bags under my eyes.
How late did I stay up?
I don't remember much after putting Mabel back in her bed, but something tells me I didn't go to bed right after her.
With much difficulty, I get up and stretch myself, cracking my back. "Oh, that's a lot better." I utter in satisfaction.
I yawned and nearly shook the house. That reminds me that I have super powers.
"Morning, Mabel." I yawn again while rubbing my eyes, still being groggy from just waking up. I look over to the vacant bed next to me, where Mabel should be. Instantly I became curious of her whereabouts. I head downstairs into the kitchen.
"Grunkle Stan, do you know where Mabel is?" I asked while pouring myself orange juice and grabbing a slice of toast.
Stan shrugged his shoulders and took a sip of coffee. "Dunno, kid. Said she had to meet someone." he flipped over a page of the Gravity Falls Gossip.
"Grunkle Stan, you've got to recognize that that's even slightly fishy."
"What's fishy is the inflation of cod prices recently. I mean look at this!" Stan replied, munching on toast. "There's no reason the dumb fish should cost $30 for five pounds! This is ridiculous!"
"Grunkle Stan, I meant Mab一"
"I don't care what you mean, Dipper! There's something wrong with the fish prices and I'm going to get to the bottom of it!"
"Well what about the shop?"
"Soos is a child-man, but he can take care of the Shack." said Grunkle Stan while putting on his trademark suit and shoes.
"And where are you going?"
"I'm not just going to stand here and accept these unreasonable prices, I'm going to fight!" He replied again as he packs his brass knuckles and gloves. "Oh how I missed you two." he said to the objects. He ran out of the door into the car. I chased after him.
"Grunkle Stan, you don't even eat cod!"
"I'm not always a selfish man, Dipper. When another man wants his cod, he too will be angered at the prices. Sometimes to get ahead in life, you've gotta attack the head of a seafood pricing institute and force them to lower prices to get ahead in this crazy game called life."
"Grunkle Stan, that doesn't make any sense!"
"Just another life lesson for you to learn, my boy! Take care of Soos. I'll be back very late tonight." Grunkle Stan said as he backed up and sped away from the Shack, leaving me in the dust.
I've never seen Grunkle Stan so passionate about lowering prices on cod before.
I walked back into the Gift Shop and headed towards Soos, who was working on the vending machine.
"Soos, have you seen Mabel at all?"
Soos turned around, which reveals a banana poking out of his mouth like a cigar. He tried to speak, but choked on the banana.
"Not even gonna ask." I say to myself before confronting him again. "Soos, did you by chance see Mabel around anywhere?"
Soos took out the banana. "Mabel? I think she said she was meeting someone somewhere, why?"
"How long ago did she go away?"
"I dunno, about a half hour ago."
Rats. Mabel had promised me that she was going to explore with me today.
"So you don't know where she is?"
"Look Dipper." Says Soos as he wraps his arm around me. Oh boy. Another Soos wisdom session. "Women are like prairie dogs."
There was a long pause before I finally asked Soos.
"How are women like prairie dogs?"
"I don't know. I just think women are very compatible with the critters."
"Soos, that has literally nothing to do with this discussion at all."
"But wait, there's more!" Interjects Soos. "Mabel is a lot like a prairie dog, my dude. You see, no one really cares about where the prairie dogs are or what they do, they just care about how cute they are. Mabel is generally the same. You see, while you were out in the woods before she went to get you, I got to know her. Remarkable woman, that Mabel. She's a strong, independent character with a great goofy side. Honestly, she would be a great female star in a kid's TV show. But I'm just getting ahead of myself. All I'm saying is that you should stop worrying about her, because she can take care of herself. Enjoy the summer, worry not about your sister. It's not like some apocalyptic situation would happen and endanger her safety."
I nodded at Soos, knowing he's right. "That was deep, Soos."
"Of course, dude." Soos replied. He went back to fixing the vending machine. I poured myself a glass of water and started drinking. "Your sister said that she was going to the diner with a boy. Thought you might like to know."
I spat out my water. "SHE'S THERE WITH A BOY?!" I blurt out.
"Yeah, dude. No need to yell." said Soos.
"She never told me about this! What if she gets kidnapped? Or mugged? Or even worse… she goes on a date?"
"Dipper, you are literally doing the opposite of what I had just told you to do thirty seconds ago."
"Soos, how could you let this happen?"
"What do you mean? She's gotta start seeing some boys now."
"Didn't you even see the guy she's going with?"
"Well, uh, no."
"Soos! You have to be more careful, especially with Mabel. Now toss me the keys to the golf cart. I'm going down there."
"Or you could just wait until she comes back rather than embarrass her in front of the boy…" Soos reluctantly tossed over the keys to the golf cart. He followed me outside as I took a seat in the cart.
"I'm just doing this for her own good." I said as I turned the key and started the cart. "Don't set anything on fire, and if you have any questions, go ask Wendy."
"One day you'll understand, my friend, but not today." concluded Soos. "Safe travels."
I shrugged and backed up… into the totem pole in the front yard. I inched forward and backed right into it again. "Wait, okay, okay, I got it." After a while I finally got out of that jam and drove down the road.
I can't believe it. Mabel with a boy? How is it even possible that she got a boyfriend? We haven't even been here a full two days yet! I don't know how she does it.
I park in the parking lot of the diner, and from the spot I still see Mabel yukking it up with someone across from her. She came into eye contact with me through the window and mouthed "Not now." I simply shook my head and started going in the diner.
I headed over to her booth. There I saw the boy.
He looked huge, about six and a half feet, with a black hoodie covering most of his head, only to reveal a little sprawl of unkempt brown hair on top of his pale face. He looked like trouble, and I immediately feel relieved that I was here for her.
"Mabel, who is this?" I asked.
"Dipper, this is Lance, my boyfriend. He's British." said Mabel. "Lance, this is my brother, Dipper."
"Hello." said Lance in an abnormally deep and dead voice, but distinguished as British.
"Hi." I said to Lance. "Do you mind if I have a word with Mabel here?"
Lance shrugged his shoulders. I take Mabel a good twenty feet from the booth, where Lance sits patiently. Eugh. Just looking at the guy sends a chill down my spine.
Uh oh. Mabel looks ticked beyond belief.
"Dipper, what the hell are you doing?" she asks angrily.
"What am I doing? I'm trying to save you from this creep!" I retort.
"I'll have you know that Lance is a very nice guy!"
"Mabel, I think his skin is peeling off."
"He has a skin condition! Please be polite!"
"Don't you see how sketchy he looks?"
"So what if he looks sketchy? It's the personality that I like."
"Gentle reminder that you've dated almost fifteen boys already."
"Almost all of them were your fault, pea-brain!"
"I really don't trust this guy, Mabes."
"Dipper. Listen." Mabel started. "This is our first summer away from home. And I would really like it if you would stop treating me like a little girl!" she poked me in the chest.
"I'm not treating you like a girl! All I'm saying is you've got to be careful here in this town. There's weird stuff going on."
"What the hell does the spooky folk lore of this town have to do with Lance?" asked Mabel.
"Well… it… uh… I… I don't know." I bowed my head, ready for the lecture.
"Dipper, I'm fifteen years old. Almost sixteen! I can take care of myself without your help." she sighed. "Look, I appreciate this and all, but I'm… just sick of it now. I can make my own decisions without your help, and maybe you should learn to stay out of other people's business!" She poked my chest again.
"Mabel, this is different. I haven't even met this guy. Of course I'm gonna be protective."
"Why can't you just trust me?" her words echoed through my mind.
I immediately think of the journal, which had previously told me to trust no one.
I shake my head before giving in. I sigh. "Okay, Mabel. I'll try to stay out of this. But first I'm gonna get to know this kid."
Mabel groaned. "Do you really have to?"
"Of course."
"Well too bad, cuz later Lance and I are gonna hang out alone and you're not going to third wheel."
"Wait, hold on, that's not part of the plan."
"It is now." said Mabel, pushing me out of the diner. "Don't worry about it! If there's ever trouble, I'll just yell your name. Now get the hell out of here!"
She pushed me onto the sidewalk and closed the door.
That hurt.
She chose a guy over me, her own brother.
I head over to the golf cart, defeated. I sat down in the seat, and started looking through the journal to kill some time and treat the sudden depression.
I flipped through different pages, until one caught my eye. I flipped back to it.
The Undead
Although I personally have never conflicted with these creatures but once, the only information I have collected are folk descriptions.
Usually described as inhumanly tall and slender with pale, peeling skin, defined muscles, slurred speech and unresponsiveness to pain stimuli, these notorious, but deadly creatures prowl in the unknown darkness at night in search of human suffering to feast upon. I know, these folk legends are dark. Usually mistaken as mid-teenagers, these monsters unleash their deadliest trait: undetectability. Beware the dreaded undead.
I dropped the journal. What an ironic rhyme scheme in that last sentence. Also, all of the description matched with Lance. The tallness, the skinniness, the slurred speech, and these are mistaken as TEENAGERS. This can't be a coincidence, right?
I glance at the booth again, and catch Mabel's unamused glance as she motions her finger to her neck, swiping across it.
That's my cue to leave. I immediately started the cart and went on my way.
The thought never got out of my head. Could my sister really be dating a member of the undead?
I headed to the Shack, parked the cart, and walked towards the gift shop. I glanced to the right. Not a single car is here, not even Grunkle Stan's.
I head into the gift shop. Wendy looks bored out of her skull, and Soos fell asleep on top of the vending machine. The ding of the bell in the gift shop woke them both up.
"So, how'd it go, champ?" asked Soos.
I sighed and sat down on the floor against a wall.
"Body language says it all." concluded Soos.
"I think her boyfriend is a zombie." I blurt out.
Wendy raised her eyebrows. "Dipper, that's just how teenagers are. They're supposed to be like zombies."
"I'm gonna have to agree with Wendy, dude. You're acting very strange today. Why are you so tight? It's like you got radioactively poisoned with superpowers or something." said Soos. His sentence froze me. Why do people keep throwing these ideas out so accurately? It's almost like Soos can read my mind.
"You just need to learn to chill, Dip." said Wendy very cooly. "You need to go with the flow."
"Not while that creep is dating my sister!" I reply. "Have you seen him? He looks like he just came from the grave!"
Wendy pondered for a minute. "Oh, you're probably talking about Lance."
I pointed at her. "That's exactly who I'm talking about! Isn't he even the slightest bit creepy?"
Soos laughed. "Dipper, everyone in this town is creepy. Even us, and especially Mr. Pines."
"That is probably true, Soos, but I still can't get this out of my head. This is gonna bother me until I face it."
"Or you could just not care." said Wendy.
"Maybe you're right." I said. After a little pause, I went into a bin in the gift shop and pulled out a camera. I start heading out of the shop before Soos and Wendy asked.
"Where are you going?" Soos asked.
"Well, I'm going to do the morally right and mature thing here and go spy on Mabel and her boyfriend. Why?" I said.
Soos facepalmed. "Dude, if you're not right, you'll never hear the end of it."
"That's the thing, Soos." I reply, heading out the door and sticking my head in the shop one last time. "I know I'm right." I closed the door and went back into the golf cart.
Feeling totally like a boss, I take out a pair of shades in the glove compartment and put it on my face. I started the cart, backed up, and stopped.
"Let's give 'im hell." I said to myself before flooring it down the road.
. . . .
I park the cart in the woods surrounding the golf course, as I got the camera ready. I flew onto the tree to look for the two. The jet black of Lance's sweatshirt stood out completely from the bright greens and fluorescent colors of the golf course.
I took the camera out. "Now, we sit and watch the evidence happen."
. . . .
I feel so stupid.
I wasted two hours to find evidence and I haven't found a significant clue to indicate Lance's undead origin (only that he hasn't blinked and hasn't eaten at all). The camera also died. I had also fallen out of the tree twice. I drive back home, still confident that Lance is a zombie, but puzzled into how to prove it.
Soos was right. Unless I have proof, no one will take me seriously.
I now sit in my room, patiently waiting as the camera takes forever to charge.
Suddenly, Mabel barges into the room, looking super happy. I look up from my phone.
"Sup, Dip?" Mabel asked in her usual cheery tone. I was really in a bad mood, so I didn't reply. She gave me a weird look. "Are you still upset about earlier today?"
I just stared at her blankly.
"Oh, come on, Dip! You know I love you and all, I just think you're being overprotective, which is actually really sweet, but sometimes I need you out of my business, y'know?" I stayed silent, and awkwardness hung in the air. She walked down and sat on the end of my bed. "Is something in your mind?"
I shook my head, hoping that would get her to stop talking.
"It's ok, you can tell me." Mabel said again. "I'll listen."
"Are you sure?" I said.
"Of course." said Mabel, flashing a reassuring smile.
I took a deep breath. "Ithinkyourboyfriendisazombie." I said in one breath.
Mabel looked puzzled. "Say that again, but slower."
"I think your boyfriend is a zombie." I said again as I opened up the journal to the undead page and showed it to her. Mabel kept the puzzled look on her face.
"What is up with you against Lance?" she asked finally.
"I believe that you should stay away from him." I said simply.
"Why can't you trust me?" she asked.
"No, I trust you, I don't trust him."
"Ok, riddle me this: if Lance is a zombie, then tell me why he hasn't killed me yet?"
I paused for a moment. That is a good point. "Maybe it's not the right time…?"
Mabel sighed angrily. "You can't assume a person is a zombie because of a spooky journal you found in the woods."
That got me agitated. "As far as I know, this book knows exactly what it's talking about in this town. You have to at least acknowledge the uncanniness here! This is for your own sake, dammit!"
"Yeah, that's good advice, except for one thing: that's only true as far as you know! For all you and I know, the rest of the book is a hoax!"
"Stop being stubborn and be logical here!"
"Stop being paranoid and trust your damn sister for once! I know you've been spying on me all day! As far as I'm concerned, you're the creep here, not Lance! Unless you got some miraculous proof that he is in fact a zombie, go away and leave me the hell alone!"
"He's going to kill you, Mabel!" I put the charged camera in my pocket and I held onto her shoulders.
Mabel slapped my hands off her shoulders. "Dipper, in half an hour, I'm going on a date with Lance." She took the journal out of my hands. "He is going to be dreamy, I'm going to be adorable, and you're going to stay the hell away from us!" She backs me up into the doorway of our room.
"Your stupid conspiracies aren't gonna ruin this date, not this time!" she said as she pushed the journal into my chest, knocking me over.
"Mabel, wait!" I said, before she slams and locks the door. "Mabel you idiot! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!"
"Go read a book, loser!" shouted Mabel from inside.
I give up. Guess she's gonna die then.
I stomp down the stairs angrily. Why can't she just acknowledge the similarities? I'm not trying to be a jerk here. I jump into the recliner in the family room, with my legs over one arm and my head resting on the other. Soos walked in while cleaning a bowl.
"I tried to warn you, dude." he said, knowing that statement would agitate me further.
"I know I'm not wrong!" I snapped. "I've had a bad feeling about that guy since I first saw him."
"To be fair, you've only seen him today." said Soos.
"And Mabel's only seen him for a maximum of three!" I snap again. I sighed. "Look, Soos, I'm not trying to be mean to you or anything, I'm just super frustrated at the fact that no one believes me!"
"I feel ya, dude." said Soos.
"Girls!" I screamed again in frustration.
"Girls." Soos agrees. There was a short moment of silence before Soos started again. "Do you know if you have any proof about your theory?"
"I know I don't but I know it's true, Soos."
"Why don't you just check the footage again? Just to double check?"
I shrug. "I guess it's worth a shot."
"Just call me when you've got something. Want a soda?"
"Sure." I said as I opened up the video camera. If there's any proof, I have to find it before Mabel leaves on her date in twenty-seven minutes. Over two hours of footage. I crack my knuckles. "Let's do this."
Soos handed me a Pitt soda, and I got to work.
. . . .
I've been through an hour and a half of footage. Luckily I was able to fast forward the footage and still see every frame. So far I can't find anything that would totally convince Mabel about my theory about Lance. But I still have half an hour of footage left.
I hear footsteps coming down the stairs.
Oh no.
It's Mabel.
She grabbed her favorite sweater and called out to the Shack.
"Bye Soos! I'm going to see Lance! Be back at ten!"
"Alright! Be safe!" called Soos from the kitchen.
"Bye, Dip." Mabel said softly. Our fight still cycled through my head.
"Please don't go." I tried one last time, already knowing what's going to happen.
"I'm going, and there's nothing you're gonna do about it." replied Mabel. "I'm sorry, but not this time. Soos! Do you know where the golf cart keys are?"
"I have them." I said and flung them towards her. "If what I said is true, don't come crying to me."
Mabel rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'll catch you later." she said, opening the door and heading towards the cart. I hear the start of the engine, and the sound of the cart fading away.
"Maybe she is right." I said to myself, still checking the footage. "Maybe I am being to overprotective."
"That's what I tried to tell you." said Soos, coming back in the living room.
"I guess I can be a little paranoid… wait… what was that?" I said, after seeing something on the camera catch my eye. I went back about ten seconds.
I couldn't believe my eyes.
In those five seconds, without Mabel noticing, Lance's arm falls off, and he quickly puts it on before anyone notices. Not even I caught that.
When seeing that, I jumped in the chair so hard the recliner tipped over, taking me with it. I start screaming in horror.
"Soos! Soos! Look!" I said, my heartbeat beating very fast. I rewinded the clip back to where it was.
"What's the big deal? It's just… HOLY CHICKEN WRAP!" Soos jumped, just like I did. "His arm just fell off… and he put it on like nothing happened!"
"And Mabel just went to go on a date with him." I concluded. We both looked at each other. "Mabel!" we both said.
I immediately jumped and ran into the garage, with Soos following closely behind. Grunkle Stan keeps some bikes there.
I lifted one bike up.
"Crap!" I yelled. "The tires are slashed!" I threw the bike away.
"So is this one!" said Soos, holding the other destroyed bike.
There's no more bikes left.
"What are we going to do now?" asked Soos, already drenched in stress sweat.
"Calm down." I said. "I'll go myself."
"Are you kidding me? Stan told me to protect you with my life!"
"Yeah, well he told me to take care of you. If Stan returns, you have to be here, or else he'll go bonkers. Do you understand me, Soos?"
"Yes, Dipper." said Soos, almost as if I was the parent of him.
"Soos, go back to the Shack and pretend like nothing's happened. I don't need Wendy to freak out too." I said, grabbing a shovel hanging on the garage wall. I had found a sword sheath back at the lab, and I took it out and placed it over my shoulder. I sheathed the shovel in the slot. "If Grunkle Stan comes back before I'm gone, just tell him I've got 'business' to attend to. Got it?"
"Yeah, but what happens if something goes wrong?" asked Soos.
"I have my cell phone." I say as we both leave the garage.
"How are you going to get there in time?" says Soos. "I'd let you borrow my truck, but you're underage and it's basically busted."
"Don't worry, Soos. I've got that figured out." I said with a smirk. I started levitating in the air.
Soos could not believe his eyes. "Wha-? How? Dude! How are you doing that?"
"Just a happy little accident. I'll explain later, but whatever you do, do NOT tell Stan" I said to the still dumbfounded Soos. "But for now, I've got a twin sister to save."
"Good luck!" says Soos before I started flying at mach four into the forest.
"Holy s**t." I heard Soos say as he went back into the Shack. He is probably both amazed and frightened of me.
I couldn't help but smile.
But now I've got more serious matters to attend to. How the hell am I gonna find Mabel and "Lance" before it's too late? Not even my hearing and eyesight are that acute yet.
But, I do have one last resort.
The journal. It will at least give me an idea of where they could be.
I gotta just hope I make it in time.
. . . .
Now in Third Person Limited
Mabel wondered why Lance was taking her deeper and deeper into the dense forest. Lance had said that he wanted to introduce her to his parents, and that he lived deep in the woods. Yet she couldn't help but feel puzzled as to why she drove him from town to here and was having him drive the cart into the thick.
"We're almost there," said Lance in his hoarse, deep, and almost dead voice.
"Lance, can you just remind me why we're traveling so deep into the woods? You had originally said that something special was happening tonight." said Mabel.
"Oh, something very special will be happening tonight, my dear." replied Lance. Mabel wasn't one hundred percent sure how, but she was totally flattered by Lance's unusual sense of charm.
Mabel sat in silence. A very miniscule part of her says that this might be trouble, but she shrugged it off. Everything's going to be fine. Lance is here. He'll protect her. But something was still nagging in her head.
Suddenly the cart stopped, almost launching her through the windshield before Lance's muscular but cold arm stopped her.
"We are here." he said cooly.
Mabel got out of the cart and was surprised. It looks like Lance lives in a tree. In an open patch stands a very large tree, that must have been there for centuries, with windows and a door, even with a Welcome Home mat in front of the door. To Mabel, this is an oddly comforting sight.
"Mabel," started Lance, which got her attention. "Now that we've gotten to know each other, there's… there's something very important that I have to tell you." A small breeze blows through, dramatically moving both Mabel's and Lance's hair.
"Oh, Lance, you can tell me anything!" said Mabel in a comforting and romantic voice.
Lance inhaled and exhaled. "Ok, but you have to promise and not tell anyone. You've gotta keep a cool mind, be open!"
Mabel nodded. Whatever's happening right now will be very important.
"Do you have any parents, Lance?" asked Mabel softly.
Lance shook his head. "No, both of them died centuries ago."
"Centuries ago? Don't you think that's an exaggeration?" said Mabel.
"That's the thing, Mabel." Lance said. "You love me for who I am now, but I'm not who I am now."
"What?"
"I'm…" Lance started before bowing his head in shame. "I'm… not who you think I am."
"What does that mean? Do you have like an identity crisis or something?"
"I'm not human. Not anymore." said Lance.
"Are you… a vampire?" said Mabel, her face lighting up. "That would be so cool! Not to mention more romantic than those other vampire love stories!"
That's right Twilight series… I'm talking about you.
"I'm not a vampire, Mabel." said Lance. "There's a reason I wear this hoodie all the time. To hide my secret from the public."
"But what secret would that be?" asked Mabel.
"What I'm about to show you… is who I really am." said Lance, reaching for his hoodie, about to open it up.
"It doesn't matter. I still love you and I accept you for who you are." said Mabel strongly.
"Just don't freak out. Keep it cool." said Lance again.
"Got it."
"Here goes…" said Lance with regret in his voice as he opened up his hoodie to show Mabel.
Mabel gasped in surprise. She had not seen this coming.
She wished she had listened to Dipper.
. . . .
Back to Dipper
I'm starting to get worried. The more time I waste trying to find her, the more the situation becomes dangerous for her. I can't allow that. Not on my watch.
I've been given these powers for a reason. I've got to save her.
But I've been searching for a while now, and I still have no trace of her.
I've got to keep going. Mabel's life depends on it.
What's this? Something on the ground? I've got to check this. I fly down for a closer look.
Just as I suspected.
Tire tracks. Still fresh. I recognize that it's the golf cart's tread. I exhaled in relief. At least I'm on the right track.
But one big question still remains.
What way are the tracks going?
The tread doesn't help here. It looks too similar going both ways.
Maybe if I use my hearing, I could get a clue where they are. Good idea.
I shut my eyes and try to clear my head. I only imagine hearing Mabel's voice. I now focus intently on hearing her voice. I feel beads of sweat drip off my face and onto my t-shirt.
Dammit! No sign of her at all.
I do the same thing with Lance's voice.
Same result.
I've got only one last idea, and it isn't very reliable.
I fly up past the trees, and try to text Mabel.
Where are you? I sent, waiting for the result.
After a little while, I saw the message I sent turn green instead of the usual blue. That only means two things: she's turned her phone off, or she's got bad reception (likely deep in the woods). I know that Mabel would never turn her phone off in any circumstances.
I see the tire trail of the golf cart. One way leads towards town, the other deeper into the woods. My gut tells me the woods.
I land back down on the ground and start running, following the trail left by the golf cart. "I'm coming, Mabel!" I say.
I'm consistently running at about thirty-five miles per hour. Pretty fast and cool, but that doesn't matter now. What matters is saving Mabel.
Agh! A tree branch caught my arm! Some of my t-shirt ripped off, and left a fresh cut.
That's odd. I thought I would also have invulnerability. How else would I have survived that fall a day ago?
Yet another mystery in this strange town.
Why would Lance lead Mabel into the middle of the woods? Why go through all that trouble, going all this way, just to eat her? For privacy? Tradition? This still doesn't make sense. With all my knowledge on zombies, and where places are, why would he deter almost three miles away from the nearest graveyard?
I redoubled my efforts. Sweat flew off my face. Whatever reason he has her all the way out here, I'm determined to foil his plans.
. . . .
3rd Person
"What the hell?" asked Mabel, both in shock and confusion, still trying to process what stood in front of her.
The thing that stood in front of her was no longer Lance.
The correct term would be things.
Out of Lance's clothing came out four small, green, gremlin-like midget creatures, with an unusual red feature, looking almost identical to lobster claws.
"Who are you people?" said Mabel. "And why the hell do you have lobster claws?"
The first creature, naturally looking like the most superior, cleared his throat. "So, uh, we're not humans."
"Well obviously." said Mabel.
"We're loblins. Let's get that out of the way." said the loblin.
The entire situation got awkward quick.
Mabel sat down and facepalmed. At least it's not a brain-eating dangerous zombie sought out to devour humanity.
"I know it's a lot to process, but we loblins are in dire need for a queen. The poor lady died yesterday." said the loblin.
"Who even are you?" said Mabel.
"Oh! Sorry for my rudeness, miss." he bowed in respect. "I'm Lance, over there is Johnny, there's Wyatt, that's Quint, and the really big and quiet one is Brick. You don't want to mess with Brick."
"And why are you trying to hook up a fifteen year old?" asked Mabel.
"Like I said," said Lance. "Our queen had just died yesterday on a really abnormal circumstance."
"What happened to her?" questioned Mabel, curious about what happened to her.
"Yeah, well yesterday she went on her usual walk through the forest, and Brick here says that some bloke fell thousands of feet from the sky right on top of her, squashed her like a watermelon." said Lance. Brick nodded his head slowly in agreement. "The poor queen didn't deserve that. When our expert doctors showed up, it was already too late. And even worse, the bloke who fell on her destroyed a tree and walked away!"
"Dipper." said Mabel angrily. He killed the queen.
"So you know of the man who killed our queen?" asked Lance.
"Do I know him? He's my brother!" said Mabel. As soon as she said that she regretted it.
"Your brother?" said Lance. "Do you hear that, boys? We've got the perfect chance of avenging our queen, and I know just how to do it."
"How are you going to do that?"
"Well, after you take our hands in marriage, we'll kill your brother and offer him as a sacrifice to our beloved queen in the sky." said Lance, checking a pocket watch. "Ooh, and if we're lucky, we'll be able to finish it all before the ball game at seven."
"Are you kidding me? I'll never marry you little freaks!" said Mabel in fury.
"Hey, sometimes you have to make the adult decision here and choose the logical choice here." said Lance. "And join us in holy matrimony."
"I am not, and if there's any adult, mature choices made here, it's definitely not trying to hook up a teenager to replace the queen of the… what are you guys again?"
"Loblins!" shouted Wyatt from the back.
Mabel snapped her fingers. "Loblins! Thank you, Wyatt!"
"No problem, Mabel!" said Wyatt back, pointing his fingers at her like a cool guy.
"Mabel, Mabel, Mabel," said Lance. "You have to accept our offer. We're talking about immortality here."
"To be fair, that immortality didn't work when she got killed."
The other loblins, along with Lance, nodded in agreement. "She does have a point." says Johnny.
"Mabel, we're giving you one last offer." said Lance. "Please, for the sake of the loblin community, become our queen."
Mabel sighed. "Look, most of you guys are really sweet, funny and all," The loblins' faces brightened up in smiles. "But I'm still only fifteen years old. I'm a girl, and you're lobster goblins, and it's like I'm just not ready for this, you know?"
Lance bowed his head in defeat. "We understand, Mabel."
Mabel piped up. "So you're not mad at me?"
Lance scoffed. "What? Of course not!"
"Then why are your friends holding that rope?"
"Oh, that." said Lance in a bubbly voice. "Yeah, we're going to kidnap you and force you to marry us."
"What?"
"Now boys!" said Lance as the rope is tossed around Mabel, the loblins working faster than she can process what's happening.
Before she knew it, she was tied up and being moved away deeper into the forest by the green and red monsters.
"Dipper! Help me!" screamed Mabel, praying that he can hear her pleas.
. . . .
Dipper
"Dipper! Help me!" I hear from a voice coming dead ahead.
Mabel's voice.
"Hold on, I'm coming!" I said, traversing through the obstacle course of assorted trees and shrubbery. Another few branches caught me at different locations, like my other arm and on my side. I feel the sweat falling into the cuts, providing a small, but annoying burning sensation.
According to my calculations, she should be a little over half a mile away.
I pray that I can get to her in time, but I have to prepare for the worst.
He could be eating her alive. She could already be a zombie. Or even worse. She was right all along.
I stop running as I skid to a halt in the middle of a relatively small clearing in the woods. Over to the left I still see the golf cart, still intact, thankfully. Grunkle Stan would kill me if that even gets the slightest dent.
What puzzles me is that Mabel and Lance are nowhere to be found. All I see are random indentations in the ground.
Wait a second…
In those indentation I see a trace of glitter. The same kind of glitter that was on Mabel's sweater.
She was here.
I pause for a moment, concentrating to hear her voice.
"Help me, Dip!" Faint, but easily recognizable as Mabel's. Sounds like she's going north. "Help m-"
I gasp. That undead jerk muted her. I know it's only a matter of time. I grab the shovel out of the sheath and get ready for battle. I lift myself up three feet in the air, flying towards the direction of her voice.
. . . .
Third Person
"Nng." grunted Mabel, struggling to get loose from the rope entrapping her.
" You're just making this more awkward for all of us, so you should really stop struggling over there!" called Lance. "Because A) We're trying to plan a wedding here and B) That's a magical rope that gets tighter the more you squirm."
"I don't believe a single word you- nng!" snapped Mabel. The rope was indeed getting tighter.
Lance came over and placed his hand on her chin, pointing it to him. "Since I like you so much, I'll give you another chance. Do you want to do this willingly or will you be forced?"
"You guys are crap heads!" screamed Mabel, startling Lance.
"That's enough of you. Boys!" he called, and two loblins came and duct-taped her mouth shut.
Yes. Even loblins need duct tape.
"I gave you a chance!" said Lance. "You left me no choice. Now let's see how Rico's doing over there with the wedding cake and leave the queen all by herself so that in case someone drops by, he has the element of surprise."
. . . .
Dipper
There. I see her. Tied down by rope and gagged with duct tape. She looked both very relieved to see me and frightened of the situation at hand. I pick up many voices, within a small area, very close by. Those must be Lance's zombie friends.
I start off by ripping the tape off Mabel's face.
"Thank you!" she whispered, leaning in for a hug, which I returned.
"For now let's just worry about getting the hell out of here." I replied.
"Who are you?" says a deep, masculine voice behind me. He took the shovel out of my hands. I feel something sharp poking my back.
"Hey, get off me!" I said, elbowing the figure behind me, sending him back a couple of feet. I used my heat vision and cut the ropes bounding Mabel. "Hurry, let's get out of here before anyone else notices."
"Before who else notices?" calls a similar voice behind my back. That ridiculous British accent. I whip myself around and put my arm in front of Mabel in a protective way.
"Lance! I oughta… what? What the hell's going on?" I asked in confusion. I was expecting the undead, and instead I see twenty creatures that look like boogers. I turned to Mabel for an explanation.
"Yeah, so it turns out Lance was actually a bunch of these things called 'loblins.' They're also saying that I need to be their new queen." she said. Suddenly she becomes angry and points a finger at me. "Because you killed their queen!"
"What? I did no such thing!" I protest.
"Brick over there says you landed on her after your little mishap at the lab!"
I replayed that scene from yesterday in my head. "That might have been a possibility, but I don't recall-"
"Wait." says the loblin I presume to be Lance, due to the accent. "You're telling me, that you're the one who killed our queen?! Our queen who's been ruling for centuries?!"
I shrug. "I guess."
Lance looked over at Mabel. "Thank you for summoning this murderer here, my queen. We deeply appreciate it. We'll take it from here."
"You'll take what from here?" I asked, patting myself. Crap. They took my shovel.
"Well, as part of our customs, we kill those who murder our queens to avenge them!" said Lance rather simply.
I stood up straight. "Really? Isn't that like really barbaric and unnecessary?"
"Barbaric? Yes. But it's totally necessary." said Lance, flashing his teeth. Very sharp. I can almost feel them cutting me just by looking at them.
"I have a better idea." I said. "You leave us two alone, and you look for another new queen."
A couple of loblins booed from the back of the pack. "That's a terrible idea!" snaps a nearby loblin.
"Mabel." I whispered to her, capturing her attention. "Do you remember where you kept the keys for the cart?"
Mabel tapped her pocket, with a small object located in it. "Got it. Why?"
"Cuz we're about to get the hell out of here." I whisper again. "Now hold on."
"Hold on? Why?" she started, but her question was immediately answered.
Before she and the loblins knew it, we were already thirty feet in the air, dodging the spears thrown by the warriors and heading toward the golf cart.
I hear Lance scream "The boy's a demigod! We have to kill him!"
After a little more spear dodging and flying, we land by the golf cart.
"No time to waste. Hand me the keys!"
"Why do you get to drive?" complained Mabel.
"Just shut up and do what you're told!" I fussed.
She tossed me the keys and I quickly tried to turn the engine on.
"Bloody hell." I muttered.
"What's wrong?" asked Mabel.
"The damn thing's stalling." I said, repeating the key turning process, hoping that each time it would have a different result. A spark from the keyhole shocked my hand.
"Dammit!" I said, getting out of the cart and moving toward the trunk. I opened it up, revealing a box. It says Use only for pinatas. -Soos
I opened up a box, and lo and behold, a baseball bat was in there. I grabbed the bat and ran back to the front.
"Here, take this!" I said, throwing the bat at her.
"What's this for?"
"Self defense." I said grimly.
"What about you?" she asked.
"You're not the one with super powers, so I'm most worried about you." I said. She was clearly in disagreement with me.
"This isn't right. You should-"
"Just shut up and keep the bat." I said. My hearing's picking up the rustling of bushes… "They're all around us!" I said, terrified of my discovery.
Sure enough, dozens of loblins came out of hiding, all equipped with spears and other weapons. Lance stood on an elevated rock, wearing some weird skull mask on his face.
"Give it up! You're grossly outnumbered." called Lance.
Mabel and I backed up into each other's backs. "What do you suggest we do, genius?" she asked.
"I think I've got an idea." I said. "But you have to get in the cart."
"Why?"
"Just do it!" I snapped. "Here they come." Hope this works.
I take a deep breath, and feel the storm raging inside of me. Some of the loblins stared in confusion. Exactly the hesitation that I needed.
I let go of the storm inside, and literally blow every single loblin almost five hundred feet away. I drop down in exhaustion. That really took my breath away. No pun intended there.
"Dipper! Behind you!" shouted Mabel.
"Huh?" I said before seeing my own shovel being smacked across my face. An explosion of pain cried out in my skull. I fell to the ground, paralyzed for a couple of seconds. As my vision came back, I see the blood from the fresh wound trickling into my eye, and a very large loblin (Brick), holding my shovel up, going in for the kill.
I barely had time to react as I moved my head just in time before the shovel's sharp edge hit the ground. I kicked Brick and grabbed the shovel out of his clutches and stand back up.
"Thanks! I've been looking for this!" I said before clubbing him in the head, leaving him unconscious. I rushed back to the front of the cart and opened up the hood.
"Dammit. Just as bad as I had feared." I said.
"What's wrong with the engine?" asked Mabel.
"The spark plug's not working. A piece of it broke off." I said. "Guess I'll have to do it manually. Also, could you watch my back and fend those guys off if you can? I'd rather not get hit in the head with a shovel again."
"Gotcha."
"This will take some time."
"How much?"
"I don't know, but it shouldn't take longer than five minutes." I said, then paused. Their war cries are closing in again. "They're coming, and they're probably angrier this time, so get ready for hell."
"I've been ready for hell since you've hit puberty." said Mabel, getting in a defensive stance behind me.
"Here they come." I said. Right on cue comes the rustling of the bushes and the hollering of the green warriors.
A thought just surfaced my head. How can they hold those spears with those lobster claws as hands?
I take a quick turn around to see how they do it. Surprising enough, the red claws are gone when holding the spear, but they morph back once it's thrown.
That's right! I remember looking around in the journal and seeing that loblins can shapeshift, but with only minor alterations. That explains why the "human" Lance was pale skinned instead of green.
Mabel grunted after hitting another wave of loblins. I can hear her heartbeat going up. "You done yet? This bat's heavy, and they're coming in endless waves!"
"Almost...got...it…" I said, fiddling with my hands, trying to make a spark. I sneeze, and another chunk falls off of the spark plug. "Dammit!"
"What do you mean dammit?" asked Mabel. Almost a dozen loblins surrounded her.
"Ah, the hell with it." I said to the cart. I used my heat vision in one last effort to replace the spark plug. I was instantly relieved when the engine puttered to life. "Bingo!" I turn around and became part of the action.
A loblin leaped for Mabel as she was occupied with others, going right for her blind spot. I grab him in the nick of time. "Going somewhere?" I said before throwing him at the horde of loblins, sending them in disarray.
"It's fixed?" said Mabel. I nodded. "Let's take care of these boogers and get the hell out of here!" I smiled and continued fighting.
"I'm getting tired of this! Send in the fire units!" bellowed Lance, drawing his very sharp looking sword. It looks like he's ready for battle, but will not go in just yet.
"Over there!" says Mabel, pointing behind me. I crane my head and see an ominous glow of red and orange eminating from three loblins, almost as big as Brick. Two of them glare at me, and one at Mabel.
Oh no.
The fire loblins charged, the two right at me and the last one at Mabel.
"Mabel, look out!" I managed to scream before one fire loblin grabs me and holds me in the air. "Nnng." His white hot hands are burning my skin, leaving a black vapor trail. The second one starts charging up, aiming right at my face. He's going to roast me alive. I start panicking. Anger swells inside me. If I fail today, Mabel will be condemned for the rest of her life. And I'll die.
In a fit of rage, I break myself free from the fire loblin's grip, and sock him right in the face, with no restraint. He falls on the ground, completely limp, while I stay hovering above the ground. I glance at the second fire loblin just in time, as he shoots his concentrated beam of fire.
Just in the nick of time I fly out of the way, but a small stroke of the blast grazes my torso, leaving a festering, searing wound, along with a nice hole in my shirt. I let out a small scream in pain and I fell on the ground.
"Dipper!" screamed Mabel in worry. I know she wants to help, but she's still occupied with the fire loblin.
I struggle to get myself up. My head is pounding. Can't think… can't concentrate…
I feel myself being kicked, and I'm flying in the air before I hit Mabel, knocking her down.
"Hi." I said weakly.
She got up and bent over me. "You've taken some pretty bad blows. We need to get out of here."
I sit myself up. "I would love to, but we've got company."I said, looking at the incoming green army, led by Lance and the two fire loblins. "Mabel, help me up."
She helped me up, and I tried to stand tall, but the burn on my chest hurt too much. I fell back down on my knees.
Lance chuckled. "I told you not to mess with the loblins. Now you die an honorable death. Boys!" He snapped his fingers, and the two fire loblins stepped forward, their fists glowing fiercely.
"What do we do?" asks Mabel.
"I have an idea." I said. "If we are to come out of this alive, we have to get rid of the fiery dudes."
"That is pretty obvious, but how do we do that?"
"I'll try something new." I said. I turned to the army. "Lance, this is your last chance. Let us go, or face the consequences."
Lance and his cronies laughed. "And what consequences would that be?"
"This." I said before holding my breath in. I start thinking about the coldest places on Earth, like Antarctica and Siberia. I let go of my breath, and see the swirling of blue coming out of my mouth to form frozen bonds onto the fire loblins. When I ran out of breath, it was clear that both of them were frozen solid. Lance and the other loblins immediately stopped laughing.
"Oh man, he's for real!" shouts a loblin from the back.
I stand tall. "Last chance, Lance. Let us go, or face the same fate as them."
Lance squinted his eyes. "You've already taken one queen from us. You won't take another! Charge!" he screamed at the top of his lungs. A tsunami of agitated loblins swarm in from every angle.
"Huh." I said to Mabel. "I thought that would totally intimidate them."
"They're warriors, Dipper. What do you expect?"
Well. Plan B has failed.
I'd think of a plan C right off the bat, but I'm currently occupied with protecting Mabel against the forces of hundreds of loblins.
I had a difficult time fending them all off, and after a couple of seconds I'm buried by them. I can hear Mabel's struggle with them as well.
"Let go of her!" I screamed over the gremlins' war cries. In another fit of rage, I flung every single loblin off me, sending them flying. I look over to Mabel, still buried by another horde. "I said, LET. HER. GO!" I screamed again, bashing them out of the way to clear a path to Mabel. I feel my eyes start burning up and glowing red. Eventually I made my way to Mabel, who at the time was taking care of one last loblin.
I reach my hand out to her. "I don't know about you, but I think playtime's over, don't you think?"
She smiled and took my hand. "For once, I agree with you." I helped her up. "We have to go now."
"You took the words right out of my mouth." I said. Something caught my eye as a loblin from afar threw a spear, going straight for the back of Mabel's head. Acting purely with instinct, I reach over and grab the spear, the sharp tip just inches from the back of her skull. "After you." I said, and she bolted for the cart, and I followed, but not until after throwing the butt of the spear at the loblin's head, knocking him over.
We both jump in the cart, which was already started. I shifted the cart into reverse as fast as I could. "We have to get back to the Shack before they follow us." I said. "You have any idea what's the quickest way there? I take the ledge going up on the mountain, right?" I start steering the cart towards the ledge.
"Don't take the ledge!" shouted Mabel. I was startled and veered, staying on the path and not the ledge.
"Dammit. We missed it!" I said, infuriated.
"You asked for the quickest way there, and I told you the quickest way there! Stay on the path!" retorted Mabel.
"Great. We'll never get there in time." I muttered to myself.
. . . .
Third Person
"They're getting away! They're getting away!" shouted Lance at the warrior loblins, all of whom were still recovering from Dipper's most recent fit of rage.
"What are we going to do about it? We can't catch up to them now!" cried Wyatt.
"There is one option." bellowed Brick, rubbing his head. "A method that has been untouched for centuries. A method only our queen has seen firsthand."
"But what method would that be?" asked Johnny.
Lance smiled. "Oh, I know exactly what Brick's talking about. Round up all the men we've got! Mabel will be our queen, whether she likes it or not!"
A few moments later, a large behemoth rose over the trees.
"Onwards, blokes! Just like we practiced!" shouted Lance. The behemoth started moving towards where the twins had left.
. . . .
Dipper
"Dipper! Hurry up or they'll catch us!" said Mabel, looking behind herself very anxiously.
I chuckled. "Mabel, have you seen their little legs? They can't cover that much ground, so don't sweat it!" I patted her on the back. The instant I patted her back, a giant rumble from the ground, and the cart skidded out of control for a second. "What the hell was that?"
"What was what? Hey, next time you pat my back while driving, try not to kill us, alright?" said Mabel.
"No, did you feel that?" I asked her again. "It was like some shockwave or something."
"What are you talking about now?"
"I felt a big boom. I even heard a big boom."
Mabel scoffed. "Just you and your imagination again." After she said that, another boom happened, twice the magnitude. She almost fell out of the cart. Luckily I grabbed her and put her back in her seat.
"Believe me now, don't you?" I said.
"Shut up." she said. Another shockwave happened, again rising in magnitude, and much louder.
"Whatever the shockwave is, it's coming closer. Do me a favor and check behind me, won't you? I can hear it coming from back there."
"Sure thing." said Mabel, then she turned her back. She gasped and locked back in front, pale as a ghost.
"Let me guess." I said. "A large creature easily the size of the Shack."
"Yep." she squeaked.
"Heading right for us?"
"Most definitely."
"Well, what's a good adventure without a good car chase scene?" I joked. Mabel looked dead serious.
"Stop right there!" shouted the creature. Damn. British accent. Lance.
Mabel looked right at me, clearly ticked. "Oh, they'll never catch up!" she said, mocking my voice. "Have you seen their tiny little legs?"
"Shut up." I retorted. Having Mabel nag me is totally not what I need right now.
"It's gaining on us! Go faster!" cried Mabel.
"The engine's already been through alot, Mabel. The last thing we need is to overheat it." I replied.
"So what?"
"If the engine overheats, the cart will stop, condemning us to imminent doom. Now please go check on it."
Mabel turned around. In a very calm way, she turned around and stared at me. "Yeah, that thing is hundreds of loblins jumbled into one giant one."
"Oh, is that all?" I said.
"That and the fact that I think it's about to deploy some attack loblins on the cart."
"Really? Now?"
"Yep. Incoming!" she said, and right on cue, it started raining loblins. All but five miss the cart, but those on the cart are creating a mess.
One landed on the roof and already tore through the roof with his lobster claws.
"Mabel?"
"I'm kind of busy here." said Mabel while elbowing a poor loblin off of the cart.
I grit my teeth. This is exactly the kind of destruction to the cart that would make Grunkle Stan go nuts. I hear a loblin sneaking up on me from behind. Before he grabs me, I snatch him from behind, bash his face on the steering wheel (while making dinky car beeps) a couple of times, and on the last bash, I let him fly back onto the forest road. By that time, Mabel finished up with her last loblin. After a few peaceful seconds, Mabel and I exchanged glances, and we both sighed in relief.
That is, until a loblin landed on the hood of the car. It shrieks an inhuman scream, that I'm pretty sure only dogs and I could hear. It leaps for my face, its lobster claws turning into talons.
"Uh oh." I mutter before it attaches to my face and shreds away. "Aagh!"
"Don't worry, Dipper!" said Mabel. She started punching the loblin on the side as it kept shredding away at my face. After one last punch that hit the creature and my face, the loblin flew off and landed in the dirt road. I rubbed my jaw.
"Thanks, Mabel." I said, that phrase full of voice cracks. I rubbed my jaw, still a little sore from her punch. "Not bad."
Mabel giggled and held up her fists. "Next Ronda Rousey, this girl."
I rolled my eyes. "In your dreams."
It took us a little while to figure out again that the giant loblin was still hot on our trail
"It's getting closer!" said Mabel.
I try swerving the cart to shake it off. "Did it work?"
Mabel only shook her head.
"Dammit!" I said. Horror set in. I can see the Mystery Shack. I'm leading the monster right to our home. I start swerving to lead it elsewhere, when Mabel pointed something out.
"Dipper! The fuel needle's past the E!" she warned.
"Dammit. I'll have to lead it to the house." I said. The Shack's only a couple hundred feet away. I look back to see how far the monster's behind.
"Dipper! Rock!" screamed Mabel.
"Huh?" my head snapped back forward and a rather large boulder, half embedded into the ground, was dead in our path. It's too late to veer out of the way.
The cart used the rock as a ledge and crash landed right at the base of the Shack.
"Nng. You ok?" I asked Mabel.
"I feel super." says Mabel sarcastically.
"Save the sarcasm for later. We've got company." I said, pointing at the goliath loblin.
"Mabel!" boomed Lance from the top of it. "This is your last and final chance. Marry us, or die."
"Last chance?" I said to Lance. "You've said that at least like five times before." Mabel nodded in agreement.
"That's because I've tried being nice with you two. My patience is worn through." said Lance, clearly irritated. ONly from his tone alone I could tell that he meant serious business.
Mabel look at me. "Dipper. I got this." she said confidently. It was clear that she was annoyed when I flashed my skeptical look and sighed. "I'll be fine. Just don't… don't do anything that you would do."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I asked, but she ignored me.
"Okay Lance. I accept your marriage proposal." said Mabel softly.
Lance snapped his claw. I don't know how he did that, but he did it nonetheless. "Hot dog!" he cried as he started climbing out of the giant group of loblins. "Excuse me, sorry Roger! Ooh, watch those hands Anderson, that's scandalous!" He finally came down and opened up a small box, revealing a very large wedding ring. Wow. That's gotta be at least fifty karats and at least a couple thousand dollars.
Mabel blushed as Lance put the ring on her finger. She twiddled with her fingers with the new piece of jewelry accessorized.
"Alright. Now let's get you back to our domain, so you can start一" spoke Lance before Mabel interrupted him.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Lance stopped dead in his tracks. "Oh. Yeah. That's right." he said. "Don't mind if I do!" He started leaning forward with his eyes closed and lips puckered. To my horror, Mabel started leaning in too.
Wait a second. I study Mabel's hand, most importantly her ring. It's wiggling in an abnormal way. Unless she's trying to point at something. The reflection of the light off the huge diamond is moving around near the trash cans by the end of the Shack. The light zig-zags onto the leaf blower conveniently located there.
That's it! I get what she means! Good thinking, Mabel! I look to her hands again. She counted down with her fingers.
3...2...1…
Her hand cocked back and I dashed over to the leaf blower and tossed it in Mabel's direction. She turns just in the nick of time, catches it, and turns it on. The hum of the leaf blower took Lance out of his trance. He flashed his eyes wide open.
"Wha-! What's going on here?" he asked.
"This is for lying to me." said Mabel. She turned on the suck mode and Lance started to be sucked in towards the leaf blower now..
"Whoa! Hold on, now!" he stammered again.
"This is for kidnapping me and almost killing me and my brother!" she said. She turned the leaf blower into turbo-suck mode. (Insert inappropriate joke here regarding turbo-suck) Lance, with the exception of his head, flew into the tube of the leaf blower.
"Ow!" the rest of the loblins stood still, as if they greatly fear the leaf blower.
"And this! This is for having me pay for lunch at the diner!" cried Mabel. She turns towards me and points at the switch to blow mode. (insert another inappropriate joke) "Would you like to?" (insert yet another inappropriate joke here)
I shook my head. "If he had you pay for lunch, I think you deserve this one."
She smiled. "I was hoping you would say that." She flicked the switch. Lance flew out of the leaf blower like a cannon, piercing through the loblin-structured giant loblin. The little green gremlins started flying everywhere.
Almost all of them landed roughly, but none of them were harmed. They got up, flustered and embarrassed, until one loblin cried out.
"Look! It's little Clyde!" he screamed. He pointed up to the roof of the Shack. There, holding onto the edge of the roof for his life was a dangling, tiny, and probably the weakest loblin I've seen yet.
"Somebody get him!" screams Johnny. "He's only 35 years old!"
I've read in the journal that loblins age very very slowly, and live up to 800 years. He may be older than my parents, but Clyde doesn't look a day over six years old.
I fished out my journal and flipped to the loblin page.
Interesting fact: loblins are nefarious for their durability, but like everything else in life, it devleops into the body. Until the age of forty years old, the young loblins are as fragile as an egg.
Interesting.
"Oh no! He's slipping! Won't anybody save him!" cries another loblin.
Poor old Clyde's grip is slipping. I can hear his accelerated heartbeat. Every single loblin is either too beat up and sore to do anything, or they're frozen in fear. And from personal experience, I know that the siding of the Shack is way to slippery to climb upon.
Clyde lost his grip and fell down to the hard, merciless ground.
Reacting purely on instinct, I flew at a supersonic speed, while pushing some loblins in my path out of the way. Right when the almost adorably small infant loblin would have splattered all over the ground, I caught him.
After slowing down my flight speed, I gently put the young loblin down on his feet.
"You okay?" I asked him.
"I一I think so." replied Clyde. Poor guy. He's probably in shock.
I smiled, nodded to the boy, and turned around, only to find a dozen sharp spears aiming right at my heart. I stopped dead in my tracks. Over all that had happened in the last half hour, I totally forgot about the "kill me to avenge the queen" deal.
"Wait!" boomed a distinguishably British voice. Lance? Why is he telling them to wait? He paced up right in front of me, his arms out facing the spears, trying to get them to lower them. "We must not kill this boy!"
"Teenager." I ad-lib. "I'm a teenager."
The crowd murmured and chattered, and then eventually died down. Quentin spoke.
"But Lord Lance! He killed our queen!" The loblins growled hungrily and in agreement.
"Silence!" shouted Lance. They died down. "He may have killed our queen, and he may have destroyed one of our ten oldest trees in the forest, but I came to realize that these incidents must have been accidents!"
About time one of these little green guys get me.
"Even after being denied, he still went out for his sister. He stalked both of us just for her safety!" Lance said dramatically, pointing to Mabel. "He traveled through some of the most dangerous parts of the forest and fought our toughest men for her well-being! Even after all the pain we put him through, he still went out of his way to save one of our future heirs to the throne! I'm not saying that this is a perfect man, but he must not be killed!"
The crowd explodes in whispering and murmuring, and I didn't need super hearing to know that mixed feelings are present.
They piped down.
"Let's hear it from the boy himself!" called Brick, pointing at me. I feel all the eyes, loblins and Mabel, dart to me.
"Look." I sighed. "My memory's still a little shaky from yesterday, but I will say this. I've never had any intentions of killing or destroying anybody or anything. What happened yesterday was something that was not in my control. It was simply a very unfortunate coincidence. If I knew I had killed the queen, I would have apologized immediately. I meant no disrespect when I had taken Mabel back, I was only doing that for her well-being. What I really mean is that I'm sorry for killing your queen, and I promise to help you find a new one, just not Mabel."
The crowd, even Mabel, were dead silent. A hand popped up from the mess of loblins.
"Does that mean we get to kill you?"
"No. You will not get to kill me." I reply.
"But what about another queen?" asks another loblin.
I scratched the small scruff on my chin. "This may be a dumb question, but are there any female loblins in your population?"
"Of course!" said Lance. "How else would we reproduce?"
"Why don't you have one of them as queen?"
A lot of the loblins looked dumbfounded.
"Now that's a novel idea!"
"Why didn't I think of it before?"
"This would've saved hundreds on health insurance!"
I stared blankly at Mabel as they kept babbling. My eyebrow raised high on my head. She shrugged her shoulders.
I've also read in the journal that loblins are not very intelligent creatures. Good thing they're excellent hunters and alchemists.
"I've never heard of such genius!" said Lance, shaking my hand. "You have no idea how much easier you made it to find our queen! Thank you, friend."
"Dipper." I said.
Lance paused. "Dipper, you say? That sounds familiar…"
"The prophecy." says Johnny, eavesdropping the entire conversation.
Lance's eyes flashed. "The prophecy? Now? No way!"
"Prophecy?" I asked.
Lance turned towards me. "Kid, you're much more important than you think you are."
"What do you mean by that?" I asked again. Suddenly I picked up the sound of a car coming. Lance had picked the sound up too.
"Can't say now. We've gone centuries without detection, except for that one exception about forty years ago, and we don't need any more publicity." The loblins started scurrying to the woods. Lance followed them down.
"What about this prophecy?" I called to him again.
"We'll talk later. But now we're even. You killed our queen, you gave us another. Consider yourself lucky." said Lance. He noticed the car was almost pulling into the parking lot. "Until next time."
And like that, they were gone.
The car pulled into the parking lot. The familiar frayed paint job of Stan's El Diablo was a welcome sign for me. I looked over to Mabel and walked to her. WE started walking into the Shack with Grunkle Stan.
He looked very tired and like he's been through a couple of brawls as well. He takes one look at me. "Yeesh! You two get hit by a bus or something?" He observed all my cuts and bruises, along with Mabel. "What the hell were you fighting with to rip through your clothes?"
I didn't say anything, but Mabel piped up.
"We had to deal with the morning rush's crowd control." she said. I flushed her a look That was a terrible lie!
Grunkle Stan observed us. Then his facial expression calmed down. "Don't blame you kids. Some of the people are brutal here."
"Pardon me, Grunkle Stan, but may I ask the same to you? What happened to you? Does this have anything to do with your little cod pricing trip." I asked.
"All I can say is that I am no longer allowed to buy any seafood from the northwest coast legally anymore." said Grunkle Stan. "Also, I had not managed to convince the institute to lower prices, but I do have this random guy's tooth! I punched this out of the sucker's face!" he said, holding up a tooth.
As weird as it may see, I had half-expected that that would occur. Grunkle Stan opened up the door to the gift shop. Here we see the last customers of the day stare at us in wonder for a short wile before returning to shopping. Soos was fixing a lightbulb, while Wendy pretended to be working.
"Hey Mr. Pines!" said Soos, climbing down from a ladder. "How was your business trip?"
"Great." lied Stan. "I assume business was booming as usual?"
Wendy called from the cash register. "It was a little slower today, but still good business.
"That's odd…" said Grunkle Stan. "I heard that Dipper and Mabel were nearly trampled by this morning's rush."
I looked at Soos and spun my hands around, trying to indicate that he should go with the story.
"Uh, I mean yes, we had a very busy morning!" said Soos. "It was just the in-betweens that were so slow. Heh heh. Right, dudes?"
We all agreed, a little nervous that Grunkle Stan wouldn't buy it. He is a professional con artist after all.
He only nodded and turned towards me and Mabel.
"I'm making dinner in thirty minutes. Go clean up." he said and ruffled my hair.
I smiled and headed upstairs with Mabel. We went into our room. Both of us fell on our beds, completely exhausted from today's adventure. For a while, we were silent, but our excited nature took over.
"That. Was. Freaking. Awesome!" said Mabel, clearly ecstatic. "Remember when you took down that one fiery dude with one punch?
"Not as awesome as you getting Lance with that leaf blower! That was insane!" I said, and that statement led me to another question. "Why was that even there anyway?"
Mabel blushed. "I was totally not practice kissing, if that's what you're asking."
I raised my eyebrow. I don't need to be a genius to know how kissing a leaf blower would turn out.
I couldn't help but giggle. She's weird, alright, but she's my weird sister.
I took off my shirt and examined it. What a shame. Another good shirt ruined. The Superman shield was separated by a large rip, probably from the fire loblin. I observed the shirt more. Inside, my brain made a connection.
Lance's statement echoed through my head. Kid, you're much more important than you think you are.
"Oh my God, Dipper! You're bleeding!" cried Mabel from behind me.
"I am?"
"Yeah! There's this huge cut right here!" she said and poked where it was. An explosion of pain shuddered my back.
"Ow! Be careful! That really hurt!"
"Do not worry, brother." said Mabel, while patting my cut, causing more pain. "Nothing a little bit of Neosporin and some Band-Aids won't fix. I'll get the first aid kit. Wait right here." she then speeded out of the room, making ambulance noises.
I stand up from my bed. I just realized how exhausted I really am. The dull ache of the cut took precedence over every other feeling. I guess I'll take a shower and clean myself up before Doctor Mabel operates on me.
I wash myself thoroughly. My scratch burned a lot, but after some time it faded away till there was no pain at all. I never realized how dirty and grimy I was from today.
I dressed myself up in a comfortable Superman t-shirt and shorts and came back out into the bedroom. Mabel was already there with the firt aid kit all broken out and ready. Somehow she had found a surgical mask and rubber gloves.
"Stand back, everyone!" she said to no one in particular. "I'm a professional!"
"If you're a professional, I'm scared to see an amateur!" I replied.
She laid down a white sheet onto the bare floor. "Lay down for me, Mr. Pines."
"Uh, sure thing doc." I said, playing along. I took my shirt off and layed down on the sheet.
"What the一? When did you get so muscular?" asked Mabel.
"What do you mean?"
"Have you looked at yourself?" she said. I shrugged my shoulders and looked at myself.
Wow. She's right. Before now I wasn't fat, I was still muscular, but I was way leaner.
"Huh. Would you look at that. Anyway, patch me up, Doc."
"Roll over, please."
I obliged, and Mabel gasped again.
"What's wrong this time?"
"Where'd it go?"
"Where'd what go?"
"The giant cut! It was right here!" she said. I thought for a moment. That large scratch, gone in a matter of minutes?
"I guess I might have a power of regeneration or something." I said.
"Well that sucks, and it's not fun. No more Doctor Mabel." she said sadly as she closed up the first aid kit.
I felt bad for her. "I'm sorry, Mabel."
"Don't be. Besides, if it weren't for your powers, we'd probably be dead by now." she said. Her face then brightened up a little bit. "I have an idea."
"Uh oh."
"Shut up. Have you ever thought about using your powers?"
"Not really. I'm just trying to fit in right now."
"Well you should. Have you noticed how dangerous this town can be with all the weird stuff going on?"
"You said you didn't believe in that."
"I didn't until after I learned my boyfriend was a green midget."
"So where are you going with this?"
"What I'm trying to say is that with all these weird creatures going around, someone might get hurt! This town needs a protector, Dipper, and that's you!"
"I don't know. I'm not really sure that's a good idea. I can't just go about the town saving people. That would freak them out! If I was to do anything like that I'd wait until the time is right."
"Why would you need to wait?"
"I can't run around willy nilly and have everyone know that Dipper Pines is a superpowered guy! The government will be all over me, and if that happens it's likely that I won't see you ever again!"
Mabel grabbed my shoulders. "That's why you need to be Superman."
"I'm not Superman. I'm Dipper Pines. Superman doesn't exist."
"Well as far as I'm concerned, he surely does now. Don't you get it? You saved my life! You saved that small loblin's life!"
"So what do you suggest then? Should I start wearing glasses and work at the Gossiper?" I said sarcastically.
"No, but you will need a costume. I'd be happy to comply." said Mabel, starting to get excited.
"I don't need a costume right now. I jjst need to figure myself out."
"But Dipper一"
"Please don't Dipper me. I've got a lot going on in my mind right now. I promise that I'll think about it. I know I have a gift, but right now I need to clear my head. Why are you being so pushy?"
"Because, I don't know if you know at all, but you're probably one of, if not the only person in the entire world with these gifts. When stuff happens, you'll be the only hope! I don't want you saving my butt all the time, I want you saving others! Give them another chance at life! Be an inspiration to the townsfolk! Be something special, not just some ordinary guy!"
"Here's the thing: I want to be an ordinary guy!"
"Why?"
"Back in Piedmont, I was always called the nerd, freak, loser, just about everything negative. I've never been given a chance to fit in. I've always been an outcast. But here, I have a new start. A clean slate! A chance to actually be accepted as a part of a group!"
"What about you in the JV baseball team?"
"Still an outcast. I've been ignored and made fun of multiple times for being not like the rest."
"So my question is why do you want to be accepted into society as an ordinary guy, when you can still be accepted and be extraordinary?"
That statement stopped me cold. She did have me there.
"Kids! Dinner's ready!" called Grunkle Stan from downstairs.
Mabel put on a new, clean sweater. "Just think about it." she left me by myself in the large, empty bedroom.
I sat down on my bed. I have a lot to think about. My stomach starts rumbling. A little bit of food won't hurt. I head downstairs for a bite.
. . . .
When I had told Mabel that I did not have a decision, she literally sent me out of the house to think more. So here I am, levitating thousands of feet in the air, using a cloud as a bed. We both had good points, and I'm still torn apart between the decision.
Honestly, I think it would be pretty freaking cool to be a superhero, but I don't think I'm ready, or responsible enough.
That's it. I've made my decision.
I start flying down to the Shack to tell Mabel about the decision. Luckily it was dark so I was basically undetectable.
Then an orange flicker stood out from the darkness of the landscape. I cocked my head. It certainly is something orange, flickering as well.
No… could it be?
I flew down closer and let my telescopic vision take care of the rest.
It is.
A fire.
Acting out of instinct, I flew down as fast as I could. Yep Definitely a fire, engulfing a single family house.
I crashed in through a window, and examined the floor. I'm on the second floor, and I don't see anyone yet. My hearing's picking up sirens from far away. The fire department's already on its way, but it'll be too late when they come.
"Hello? Is there anyone in here?" I shouted. No response.
A wood beam fell down right beside me, catching fire. This building can come down any second from now.
"Hello?!" I called again. Then I heard it. A whimper from another room, almost inaudible from the roar of the fire. I hear another voice coming from outside the house.
"Oh God, where's little Danny?" said a female. I rushed over to a window.
"It's alright ma'am, I'll get him." I said.
"How'd you get up there?"
I didn't answer because the ceiling of the room started caving in, blocking off the window. I hear the woman start crying hysterically.
"Oh God, they're both gonna die."
I hear some wood cracking from the first floor. Crap. That's probably one of the house's main supports. The whimpering started again.
"Don't worry!" I coughed. "I'm coming!" I entered another room. Fire blanketed the entire ceiling. There, in the closet, I see a little boy, sitting with his knees at his face, weeping.
I ran and knelt beside him. "Are you Danny?"
The little boy nodded, looking at me. "Are you an angel?" he asked.
"No." I said, smiling. "I'm Superman." I showed him the shield on my shirt.
The little boy smiled. "Are you gonna save me?"
"Yes. Now we have to get up and get out of here, okay?"
"Okay."
I picked up and held little Danny in my arms like a baby, and I started walking down the stairs. A crack echoed in my ears as I stepped back and the staircase collapsed. The first floor is now completely on fire. Crap.
I went back onto the second floor. Fire is everywhere, the smallest amount being from the window in which I entered the house.
"Danny, have you ever wanted to fly?" I asked.
"Since I was two." he responded quietly.
"Well, your dream's about to come true." I said as I started charging to the window, leaping as the floor of the second floor gave way, crashing down to the first floor. The roof started following. Danny screamed. I then used my body as a shield for Danny when we crashed through the rubble blocking the window.
Just as we passed through the window, the entire house fell in upon itself, and collapsed. Little Danny held onto me tightly, and I flew him down to the ground, about thirty feet away afrom his mother.
"Danny! Thank God you're safe!" she cried, still hysterical.
"I made a new friend, mommy! Look!" Danny pointed at me.
Uh oh.
Luckily they were facing the fire, so my face was unlikely to have been seen. Strange as it is, the Superman shield reflected and was the only thing glowing on my body.
"Look, mommy! It's Superman! He let me fly with him and everything!"
The woman stared at me and picked up little Danny. "You… you saved my only son's life. Thank you so much."
"Just doing my job, ma'am." I said.
A few seconds later, the fire department, as well as the police and the news van rolled into the scene. I start backing up. I can't get any more publicity. Not now.
The doors of the van opened, and people started rushing out.
Without thinking, I flew up as high as I could, I saw a bright flash and heard the quiet shutter of a camera. Thankfully my face wasn't facing the flash. I keep ascending, and start paying close attention to the interview between the mother and the news.
"Who was that?" asked a news reporter.
"I'm not so sure myself, but whoever he is , he saved my son's life."
"Did we get a photo?' asked the reporter.
"Yeah. We've got a photo and about a second or two of video." said the cameraman. "Whoever or whatever that was, it moved very quick."
"I know who it is." said Danny. "It was Superman!"
I zoned out of the rest of the interview.
I don't know if I did the right thing or nor. I mean sure, I saved somebody's life, but now my identity might be compromised.
So I guess this is what they meant when they said all heros make sacrifices.
Once again, the exhaustion hit me like a freight train.
Is Mabel right? Does this town need a protector? I wonder if this has anything to do with Lance's mentioning of that prophecy.
And what happened to the shards, the very things that gave me these powers, back at the author's lab? Heck, who is the author? Where are there so many weird things at this town?
I've got a feeling that this summer's going to be one giant mystery, and I think I know just the guy who's gonna solve it.
Me.
But before I solve any mysteries, I have to tie some loose ends in my head.
Plus, I would love to see Mabel's face when I tell her this story.
Looks like this summer won't be so boring after all.
A/N: Sorry for taking so long with this episode, but damn. Over 14,000 words. So I developed a new plan. I'll try to get an episode done every month or sooner, but that probably won't happen since school actually starts giving out homework in the next couple of weeks. Right now I'll try to finish working on Three Years Since and get that story wrapped up before starting Episode 3. I'm even starting to work on a Rebel Falls story. As always, thanks for all the support! Don't forget to check out the one that started it all, Three Years Since, and don't forget to comment so I know what you guys like and don't like!
Episode 3 Title: The Myth of the Writh.
What exactly is a writh? I guess you'll have to wait and find out.