If You Walk Out
Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Not mine...never will be, but I wish I owned DJE. The song "Walking After You" does not belong to me, it belongs to The Foo Fighters.
AN: I have been meaning to thank you all for your reviews. I never expect them, but you sure do make a person feel like posting time and time again. Once again, thank you all. Thanks to those who read and don't review to. Keep reading! Sorry for any mistakes.
AN2: I wrote this when I was very upset about the whole triangle that was Harm/Mac/Webb. You will notice.
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown, Washington
Mac was enthralled by the words and combination of sentences in the Danielle Steel novel when suddenly she was startled by a knock on her door. Who could that be? Clay was away on an assignment and she wasn't expecting anybody...especially at this time.
She curiously went to the door. `What is he doing here...at this time?' She thought to herself. She hesitantly opened the door for Harm. She was afraid to let him in, not because she felt threatened, but because she wasn't willing to argue or go through any drama right now...she was getting enough of that from the novel.
The door swung open and Harm just stood there...motionless. He wasn't sure what to do. Should he smile? Frown? Hug her? Apologize for coming so late? He just wasn't sure. He decided to combine some of those.
He smiled. "I'm sorry I'm here so late." He held out some chocolate ice cream for her.
"Well, you made up for it with this." She smiled as she took it from his hand. "Come in."
Harm stepped in, nervous about being in her apartment. He hadn't been over to talk with her and hang out in a long while. It was like foreign territory to him. He waited for Mac to come back from the kitchen with two spoons for them.
"So what brings you to my place at this time Harmon Rabb?" She walked over to the couch with Harm close behind. She dug into the chocolate ice cream.
He cleared his throat. "Well..." He took his spoon and dug into the ice cream as well. "I miss spending some down time with my best friend. I figured since you're too busy to take a few minutes off for me...I should take some off for you." Mac frowned. Oops. Maybe he had said too much.
"I miss you, too. And I am sorry that I don't have as much time to just relax with you." She took another spoon full.
"Mac...I...um...I know that lately things haven't been going so hot with us, but I think that it's time to get passed whatever issues we have."
"What? What issues?" Mac asked credulously.
"Mac, it's obvious that things have changed between us ever since Paraguay. And we have been putting off whatever consequences arose from it all for far too long. Don't you think?" He set his spoon down as Mac followed.
She didn't want to look into his eyes so she looked at the carpet beneath her feet.
He hooked his index finger under her chin and tilted her face so he could look into her eyes. "Mac...I just miss the way we were. I miss everything we were moving towards."
"What were we heading towards, Harm?" She asked angrily. Tears threatening to fall.
"I thought we were moving toward some kind of relationship." He smiled nervously. "You don't agree?"
"I would love to think so, Harm. I did think so for a while...until I realized that you would never make a move because you didn't want to jeopardize our friendship."
"I'm willing to now, Mac. I will jeopardize my career if that's what it takes."
"It's too late Harm." She turned her head away and stood up.
Harm followed her and stood behind her. "Why? Because of Clay? Is there really something there?"
"I think so."
"You think so?" Harm asked in disbelief. "Mac, come on. The man is away more than he is here with you. You can't call that a relationship. You can't honestly tell me that you think there's anything there."
Mac swung herself around to come face to face with him. "Don't claim to know what is or isn't there Harmon Rabb! You have no idea of what you have when it's right in front of your face or biting you on the ass."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He got closer.
"Nothing! Just go Harm before we both say things we will regret later."
"What else is there to say? I think that you have made your point. I wanted to believe that you were wrong in Paraguay, Mac. I really did."
Harm walked out of her apartment. She closed the door as she was overcome by the tears that by now were cascading down her face with no sign of stopping.
"So did I Harm. So did I." She said as she leaned her forehead on the wood.
Right after Mac closed the door; Harm walked back to it and placed his palm on it. He was about to leave when he heard her sobs and her voice. He knew that she was wrong, she was just afraid to let her heart lead the way. But he would make her see. He would.
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Harm jumped at the sound of his phone ringing. `Damn!' He thought.
"Commander Rabb."
"Rabb, it's Webb."
`Great!' "What can I do for you Webb?" `Not that I want to do anything for you.'
"Uh, can we meet somewhere to talk? Maybe during lunch?"
"Talk about what?"
"Just meet me outside in the yard during lunch."
"Fine. I'll be there."
The rest of the day he could hardly concentrate on his work. He was wondering why Clayton Webb wanted to talk to him. And about what? Was something wrong with Mac and she hadn't told him?
Courtyard at JAG
Harm spotted Clay walking his way. He was walking with his head bowed and his hands in his pockets. `Doesn't look too good so far', thought Harm.
"Rabb." Clay nodded his head.
"Webb. What is it you want to talk about?"
"You going to eat, Rabb?"
"No. Let's just go sit down at that table."
"Fine." He followed Harm as he led the way to the abandoned table.
"I must admit Clay...I'm a little worried about this. Is everything ok with Mac? Is her condition acting up again?"
"No. But this is about Sarah." He paused and looked straight into Harm's eyes.
"What is it? Damn it Webb tell me already."
"I want you to leave Sarah alone."
"What the hell? Where did that come from?"
"Don't play with me Rabb. I went to her place last night and she was crying. She didn't want to tell me, but I figured it had something to do with you."
"We had an argument, but I didn't do anything to her. I would never lay a hand on her." He was beginning to get upset. What the hell was this?
"Harm...I know that you want her for yourself, but it's too late. I have her now. Let her go..."
Harm interrupted him. "First of all, Mac is not an object. You don't own her. I will certainly never own her. But let me tell you this Clay...if you loved her you would do something about spending more time with her."
"How dare you! You of all people telling me how to work my relationship with her? You, the ass who wouldn't tell her how he felt and instead constantly hurt her." He rose from the bench to tower over Harm, a furious look present on his face.
"You want to calm down, Webb. All I'm saying is that she needs you. Who do you think goes to care for her when you aren't around you dick."
Neither of them realized it, but Mac had made her way to the courtyard with her lunch. She was about to go sit at a table when she heard Clay arguing. `Who would he argue with here at JAG? What is he doing here at JAG?' thought Mac.
"I love her! And if I could always be there for her…I would! You don't know me Rabb, don't pretend that you do."
She stood there looking at both men argue. What the hell was this all about? Then, she caught a glimpse of the tall man in dress whites who had stood up to look down to Clay.
"But I do know you. I was like you once. I would always think that if I could do something for her, I would. Always using excuses to justify my lack of being there for her. Well guess what Clay...I'm done with that. I will do anything to be there for her. Anything."
Clay was surprised by the testimony that Harm had provided. He knew that he would never compromise anything for a woman. But this just proved him that he was sadly mistaken. He would...and that worried him. This only meant that he had actual competition now.
He got closer to Harm. "I'm warning you Rabb, you stay away from her. I don't care if you think you're better than me or if you think you can win her back. I will not allow you to take her from me."
Harm did not back down, in fact, he inched forward a bit. "And if I don't stay away, Clay? What will you do?"
"I can think of something. Don't tempt me."
Harm chuckled. "I'm a United Stated Naval officer. You don't scare me. I've been in worse situations."
That was it. His final straw of patience had broken and his anger took over. Pure instinct and drive to hurt the man who threatened his happiness with Sarah MacKenzie forced him to act. And that he did. Clay pulled his fist back and landed it square on Harm's jaw.
Mac jumped at the sight. Clay had just struck Harm. She dropped her lunch and ran over to where both of them stood.
Harm stumbled back, but did not fall. He wouldn't allow some spook to knock him down. He shook his head a couple of times to correct his vision and just as he was about to strike back, Mac yelled.
"Stop it!" She made her way to Harm who had his fist halfway from Clay's face. A puzzled look on his face. "What the hell is this? What is going on?"
"Sarah..." Clay began to formulate his excuse, but was stopped by Mac's glare.
"Clay wanted to talk, so we talked." Harm answered as he dropped his fist.
"And look where that got you. What he hell were you thinking Clay? This is our work place. Do we ever go to yours and disturb you?" Harm rubbed the spot where Clay's fist had just connected.
"And you, what the hell were you thinking? If I hadn't stopped you, you would have hit him back. Are you insane?" Harm opened his mouth to speak, but thought better of it.
"I just came to tell Harm that I don't want him to see you again." Mac turned towards Clay with a look of disbelief.
"What!" She looked to Harm and then back to him. "Why would you do that? You can't stop that, we work together. We see each other everyday."
"That's not what I meant. Harm needs to stop chasing after you, Sarah."
"I am not chasing after her. What the hell is your problem Clay? Afraid that Mac might like what she sees in me more than what she sees in you?"
Clay's face reddened. "This is what I'm talking about, Sarah. This needs to stop."
"Both of you stop it. Clay, Harm is not chasing after me and if he was, I would tell him to back off...you don't have to do it for me. Understood?" She looked straight into his eyes. "And Harm, please stop this. You had your chance; you didn't take it, now I'm with Clay. Please." She almost begged him silently to stop the hurt he was causing her. Confusing her about what she wanted. Harm's look dropped to his feet.
"Mac..."
"No, Harm, please."
"No, I'm not going to just let this one go. I'm not willing to let you go."
Mac turned towards Clay. "Clay...I'll see you later ok. Your discussion here is done."
"Sarah."
"Please go."
Clay walked away defeated and hoped that whatever Harm had up his sleeve would piss Mac off more than sweep her off her feet. He was praying against the odds.
"Mac faced Harm and was inches away from him."I thought we had discussed this Harm. It's too late for us. You have to accept that."
"No, Sarah..." He had to be serious for him to call her Sarah. "I will not lose you to him. I have watched you waste your time with many men. You have seen me waste my time with many women. Don't you think it's time we fixed this? We could be so much more than what we are now. Please don't give up on us now."
"I'm sorry, Harm. I can't do this again. It hurts too much. Every time I get my hopes up, you do something to shatter my dreams. I can't."
"I won't, I promise. Just don't walk away from me." He gently picked up her hand and held onto it with both of his hands.
"I have." She pulled her hand free from his and walked away.
So much for the Foo Fighters. This had to be the worse day of his life. First he gets punched by a spook. Then he gets rejected by his dream girl...again. Why? Why couldn't she see that they were meant for each other? Obviously there had been signs thrown at them throughout the years. There had to be a greater reason for them not ending up happily married with some of their previous lovers. There had to be a better reason for Harm's crash in the Atlantic than just mechanical failure right before Mac's wedding. There had to be an underlying reason for all of the pain and grief that they had both experienced since they met.
He was completely confused about his current dilemma, but he would not give up. He owed it to himself and to Mac not to give in just because he was losing the fight.
A Few Weeks Later
Mac's Apartment
Georgetown, Washington
Things with her and Harm had not improved. They would work together, say hi, and occasionally he would try to make conversation, but the tension was definitely there. She had told him to leave her alone, but the truth was that she wasn't even sure if she wanted him to. She knew that she was with Clay and that she should be focusing on them, but somehow Harm would always find a way into her thoughts. He would invade her dreams, private thoughts, and her fantasies, but why? Hadn't she gotten over him? Apparently not.
Was it too late really? Was their chance at a perfect happy life over? Had they wasted all of their opportunities? It couldn't be. Had he really given up as she had asked? He hadn't made any attempt to fix things since then. It was eating away at her. But there was nothing she could do, or was there? She just didn't know.
The phone awakes Mac from her inner battles.
"Hello." She manages with a weak voice.
Hey, Sarah.
"Clay. Hi, what are you doing calling me? Aren't you on one of your assignments?"
Nope. Just came back. I want to see you. I missed you.
"Ok. Your place?"
No, how about we go somewhere out of town. I'll pick you up. Pack your bags.
"I can't just leave work..."
I'm sure I can get you out of it.
Mac laughs. "Ok. If you say so. Sounds like a good idea."
Great. Pick you up at eight.
"See you."
Harm's Apartment
North of Union Station
Washington, D.C.
Harm was cooking for Jen and Mattie when his phone rang. At first he didn't want to answer it, he was really enjoying the company after everything that had happened between him and Mac. At one point he thought that their situation could not get any worse, but he soon overruled himself and found out that life was much crueler than he had anticipated. He had even stopped trying to stop her after their talk outside of JAG, but he knew he couldn't give up if he wanted that life with Mac. There was no room for errors. They had run out of that the first two years of their partnership.
Around the fourth ring, he decided to answer it.
"Hello."
Rabb!
"Clay? Is that you?" He turned away from Mattie and Jen just in time to miss their annoyed looks. They could not stand that man. He was responsible for all of the crap that Mac and Harm were going through. It was him that took Mac away from Harm.
Yeah. I need your help. It's Mac. Something's happened to her. I know where she is, but I need some back up. I don't want to risk losing her.
"What happened to her? Is she hurt? Where is she?" He was rambling and he knew it, but he couldn't help but worry about the woman he loved.
Easy Harm. She's fine for now, but I don't know for how much longer. She's in an abandoned farm house. We were on our way to a town outside of Blacksburg when we got rammed off the road. Some men snatched us out of the car. They hit me, left me for dead and took her. I need your help.
"But why would anybody do that to you guys?"
It seems these guys know me. I don't know them personally, but I was undercover trying to bust them for espionage. They're former NIS. They must have some grudge or something. Hurry Rabb.
"I'll be there, but it'll take a while."
Just come Rabb. And Hurry.
Harm was so shocked that he was barely able to set the phone back in its cradle. How on earth was all of this happening? What did he do wrong? Was god somehow punishing him for some sin he had committed and was unaware of? He was right...life was much crueler than he thought.
He turned to face Jen and Mattie whose faces were plastered with confusion and fear for their friend's life.
"Harm? What's wrong with Mac?" Mattie asked as she made her way to him by the island.
"I don't know Mattie, but I have to go find her. She needs me." He was already rushing out of the apartment when Jen spoke.
"Uh...sir, do you have your weapon?"
"Thanks Jen. Take care of Mattie will ya?"
"Of course, sir."
TBC