Authors Note: If disclaimers were wishes, many a fanfic would still be written. LOL. I pay homage to the master who made KHR and I dedicate this work to those unknown benefactors of mine-my reviewers. You have given me a gift that could not be purchased at any price-the gift of faith. I never really thought I could ever find enough words to string together another story. You have allowed me to continue my dream. My deepest, most sincerest thanks.
Of things Never Asked...
"Dogmatism and skepticism are both, in a sense, absolute philosophies;
One is certain of knowing, the other of not knowing.
What philosophy should dissipate is certainty, whether of knowledge or ignorance."
- Bertrand Russell
When people ask why someone with the skills and a reputation like his stay and serve under the rule of a teenager barely out of puberty, his answer would depend on the interviewers gender, of course. Should a man ask and he being in a good mood, he would give his usual glib response that he feels a sense of obligation to the Vongola and that a man of his caliber only serves the best Famiglia out there. He would then regale the unfortunate slob of some of his more vicious assignments, of the deaths that he has formulated and the most horrifying, face-melting tales that would scare a horror-writer straight into bedlam.
Should a woman ask, (and let's be honest here, that means an attractive woman and not just a biological female because unlike what some people may think, he does have certain standards) he would probably give his standard spiel, parroted so often he could say it forwards, backwards and in a rhyming limerick complete with a witty couplet at the end. He would spin the tale of woe and redemption and seduction and enslavement guaranteed to win him the heart of a few fair maidens (or in a more believable scenario, a single date that will never be repeated).
What no one ever asks is why someone as pure and good-hearted as the Tenth, Head of an imminent, influential and wealthy Mafia Famiglia with the history and prestige as that possessed of the Vongola, settled for some disease-ridden quack like him. Granted, very few (and I do mean less than the fingers of one hand, minus the thumb, of course) people possesses the skills he has but it doesn't mean he's utterly indispensible. Should they really wish it, Trident Shamal could be wiped clean off the planet and less than a handful of people would miss him or mourn his passing.
What they always ask is why he stays and the funny thing was, if he would've given the real answer, no one would believe him. Everyone else would've given the same predictable reason—he owed the Vongola his loyalty. And the thing was they wouldn't have been completely wrong. Not right mind you, but not completely wrong either.
Yes, he feels some sense of obligation and gratitude for the Vongola name and its sheltering influence. He knows that partially the reason he has been so successful and so free was because of their power. But it wouldn't have made him stay. He would've lent his services, true, but for a hefty price. He would've given his skills, but he would never volunteer it.
Because in truth, the real reason he has stayed had nothing to do with anything remotely related to the Vongola except in its periphery. The truth—complete and unvarnished—is because he wanted to.
Because for the first time someone bothered to ask him if he was where he wanted to be and he said yes.
Because the Decimo actually asked his options, his opinions and and invited him to stay and he said yes.
Because the Decimo—offered him the post of Family Doctor-not assassin for hire, not killer on retainer-but someone who saves lives- and he said yes.
Because Sawada Tsunayoshi's words kept his one-time student from the destructive path of discarding his life like it was nothing and proposed that he stay close enough to see that his student follow it through and he said yes.
Because he told Decimo the truth, that he was not normal and never will be; that his hands are stained with too much blood and that he was slightly neurotic…that he was disease-laden and he liked it that way…and that he was definitely damaged and that there's no way to fix him…because he said all the unvarnished truth inside of him to just to make sure that the Decimo understood and Decimo simply smiled, nodded and said yes.